All Comments on 'Camping Trip'

Very good but longer would've been nicer! :)

Interesting story, wandered a bit, and just when I thought you had gotten to the real story about paint ball hunting (sounds interesting) you quit. Heck she could have at least done the old man.

Nice start keep going.

Good story. I like how her boyfriend leaves her with no clothes and she walks through the forest naked, and especially masturbating for an audience.

I'm also intrigued by the naked paintball, would like to see that continued, maybe for later in the camping trip?

but needs editing. The wandering story line got in the way, and writing things like "10AM in the morning" is just annoying. I agree with the other commenters that naked paint ball is an idea worth exploring. Keep writing!

Fine and interesting as is.

Ignore the nitpickers!

Good for the most part. Erotic and fun, though some things like the paintball seemed to come a bit out of nowhere and detracted from realism. Needs a lot of editing though, there are countless grammatical errors that really took me out of the story. The mention of Pam's measurements also made me cringe a little, because I have no idea what they mean. I don't think the average person can construct a mental image of a body type just from a few numbers. Otherwise a fun and decently thought out story; I enjoyed it more than most.