Can it get any worse

"No, not before James told me."

"Is not the true reason that you have launched this application for child support so that you can obtain money from this account before it is frozen by this litigation, and that James was the person to suggest this course of action?"

"No!"

"No?"

"Well, he may have mentioned it."

"It is my opinion that this matter be held over while the matter of this fraud is fully investigated. If it turns out that Mister Smith was not responsible, he will have had no income during the time he became the innocent victim of a brutal assault and now. I am sure that, if he had been able to provide child support, he would have."

She reluctantly agreed.

"I'm also sure that, if he is eligible for compensation, he will contribute towards child support."

"Why are you doing this?" I asked him as we left the court.

"Julia asked me to help, and I love her enough to comply with that request. Don't worry, I love her enough to also know that she has no place for me in her life. She has made it abundantly clear that she is very much in love with you, and your future children. She told me that she is pregnant and could not be happier. You're a very lucky man. You have to promise me that when this is over you will not stuff this up and hurt her."

"I would never hurt her, I love her very much."

"I have a sneaking suspicion that James is behind the fraud and was hoping that if you didn't survive the assault, he would be home free and very rich. I also have a sneaking suspicion that he may have been behind the assault."

"Why would he do that?" My mind went back to a brief moment of clarity when I had a vision of finding that Jessica and James were having an affair. It was a week or so before that fateful trip, I caught them at it one afternoon when I came home early. I didn't actually find them in bed together, he was there, and the uncomfortable looks that past between them and, the lameness of the explanation of why he was there, cast doubts in my mind.

"We don't have any proof at this time, just a suspicion that James and Jessica had been having an affair even before the assault."

"So what happens now?"

"My people are in the process of investigating that account, who set it up and who accessed it while you were in no position to do so. It will come as no surprise if we find out that it was all James' doing."

"I know that it was." The words came out without me thinking.

"What did you just say?"

"It just came out, I must have recalled something that was lost in my memory."

"Do you think you are getting your memory back?"

"I don't know, in one way I hope so, but in another way, I don't really want to know what happened to me."

"That's understandable. But that leaves us with a problem,"

"What sort of a problem?"

"If you regain your memory, I believe that you will decide that you can't deny your responsibility to your previous family, and where will that leave you and Julia?"

"I don't know. I don't want to see her hurt. What options do I have?"

"I suppose that you could apply for a divorce from Jessica, after all you have been separated for well over twelve the months necessary for a divorce application. I don't see that Jessica can oppose it."

"What am I going to tell Julia?"

"The truth. She will understand your situation and between the three of us we will sort this mess out and you can live happily ever after."

"And you don't mind?"

"While I love Julia, she does not love me. You are one lucky bastard and I wish you both well. I will help you, you both deserve it."

This is getting more complicated by the minute, one part of me wants to do the right thing by Jessica and my kids, while another part of me wants nothing to do with the kids if it means dealing with her. A third part of me is heading down that path that will lead to a wonderful life with Julia. This is the path I want, but what do I do about my past? Dare I hope that this can be resolved amicably?

Four o'clock in the morning seems to have become my moment of clarity time. I was not supposed to have been on that trip, it was James that was supposed to be there. I was told that James had an important conference that he could not get out of, and because I knew the reason for this meeting, I should go in his place. Could it be that the 'more important conference' was hatched so that he and Jessica could move forward with their plans to ditch me and get together permanently? The more I thought of this, the more I became convinced this was the case.

"This is getting weirder and weirder." Phillip had listened to my theory and had agreed to investigate, That was yesterday. Today he came over with the results of his investigation. "James and Jessica have been taking you for a ride big time. Were you aware that, before you met her, Jessica was married to James?"

"No, she told me that she had been with a man for some time, but he had left her. It wasn't long into our relationship that she told me that I was so much better than her previous lover and that she was in love with me. We agreed that we should get married."

"Did she or anyone else raise any impediment to your marriage?"

"No."

"And you believe that the children of your marriage are yours?"

"I know of no reason why they should not be."

"So, as far as you were concerned you were a happily married man with two lovely children."

"I suppose that you're going to tell me that this is a lie?"

"Of monumental proportions. Not only was she not free to marry you, but DNA tests have shown you not to be the father of your children."

"Can it get any worse than this?"

"You'd better believe it. James was not employed by the Sunrise Corporation and its subsidiary companies, it now appears that he owned them. It was all part of an international scheme that provided laundry services to a large number of companies seeking to avoid taxation and other business expenses. It was set up in such a way as to isolate him from any fiscal responsibilities. When the shit hits the fan, as it will now appear to have done, he will walk free a very wealthy man. He has set up accounts, using people such as yourself not being aware of them, to hide his real wealth. What we have to do is, before I go to the police with this, close down any and all accounts held in your name and place the money in a separate account that he cannot touch. From an understandably cursory glance, you are a very wealthy man."

"I want no part of that money. If there is one thing that Julia has taught me, it is that I only need enough to meet my needs, and that is not much."

"Be that as it may, surely you do not want him to get away with this?"

"No, but can't we use the money to help others?"

"Take some time to think about it, talk it over with Julia, I'm sure that between the two of you, you'll come up with some worthy ideas."

It took very little to bring James' world crashing down around his ears, a simple oversight on his part. While preparing his suit for the cleaners, Jessica came across a passport, one with his photo, but the name and address were different. Fearing the worst, she went to the address given and found a completely different family. A woman and three kids. The woman turned out to be his real wife, the one that he had kept hidden from her. The kids, she assumed, were his as well.

She went to the police with her discovery and they made several of their own, like the visa that indicated his planned departure was imminent. He was leaving her to carry the can for his financial manipulations, something that she had no intention of allowing to happen. The canary sang long and hard, by the time she had finished, the police hard built a strong case for prosecution.

She also revealed to the police that her claim for child support was a plan to get more money, presumably for his departure.

For now, I didn't have that hanging over my head, a relief for Julia and myself.

If we had thought that life would return to normal, we were very much mistaken. Thinking that she had one last roll of the dice, Jessica was parked across the road as James and his his family were getting into their car to take them to the airport.

"So, you thought that you could run away and leave me to take the blame for your crimes did you. Well, have I got news for you!"

"I told you to get rid of the bitch!" His wife screamed at him. "But no, you didn't have the balls, did you? As usual, I guess that I have to do what has to be done." Producing a pistol, she took aim and pulled the trigger. Jessica collapsed, a small hole in her forehead. She turned the pistol on an astonished James, "As for you, we've planned this for months but you couldn't get rid of the bitch. You leave me with no choice." Again a shot rang out, this time it was James that collapsed to the ground. She got into the car and drove away.

The gunshots were heard and the police called. A patrol car arrived quickly but, by the time the identities of the deceased were established, a private jet had left, the flight plan filed was not the intended destination, and the identities of the passengers did not match those on the original manifest. The trail ran cold.

When the dust settled, Julia and I found ourselves with two teen-aged kids that weren't mine, from the marriage that was a sham. Jessica's parents were reluctant to care for them, so Child Services approached us. We agreed to take them, after all, for a time they had recognised that I was their father. It took time for Sophie and Sam to settle into their new lives but, having experienced our lives and realising that these revolved around the helping of others, they began to drop into the centre after school to help us out with the evening meals for the homeless.

Sophie took more and more of the work from Julia as her time got closer. She was able, with help from me, Benjy and Tom, to run the show while Julia was in hospital giving birth to our son, Timothy. Julia eased back into the work and shared her duties with Sophie, while Sam was learning the ropes in the kitchen.

"Dad," Sophie said one evening, "Do you remember when, before, you know, that thing that took you away from us, everything seemed to be about making money, you and Mother never seemed to have enough. But looking at you and Julia, I've come to realise that there is more to life than money. You two never seem to have money, but it's enough, there's always enough and, there's never any argument over money."

"It took a while for me to realise that life does not revolve around the acquisition of wealth. Julia has more money than your mother and I ever had, but her needs are modest. Working with people like I once was, who don't have enough, you can't relate to them if you flaunt the fact that you have more than them. It's like a wealthy politicians telling us that they understand the plight of the poor. They wouldn't have a clue. Think on this, there is a finite amount of money to go around. The money that goes to the rich has to come from somewhere, it comes from the poor. If the rich didn't want as much, there would be more for those who have little or no money."

"Don't you ever want to get away for a holiday?"

"How would it look if we were to close for a couple of weeks so we could have a holiday? Where would these guys go for a feed?"

If we thought that getting away for a short break was hard, it got worse. The demands for meals was getting more and more in line with the financial situation putting more people out of work. Those hit hardest were those that had over-committed themselves financially. With each interest rate increase more and more of them found themselves unable to service their financial commitments. Foreclosures increased and more people were looking for our help. We noticed some people would gather their food and leave with it, probably taking it home to feed the kids, who knows.

Our staff were being worked off their feet and it was Sophie who came up with the idea to call for volunteers to help in the kitchen. The offer included them being able to help themselves from leftovers. She rationalised that, given the chance of getting additional food, they could give some to their friends. The other benefit was the option that, working with us and gaining work experience, could lead to paid employment. In twelve months some twenty people had benefited from this.

We now ran two shifts at each mealtime. This caused a rethink of food sourcing. We acquired some land and set up community gardens that provided us with seasonal fresh fruit and vegetables. Any excess went to food banks and charities that gave food to the needy. We found meat processors that could access a ready supply of feral (sorry, now known as 'range fed') goats that made up the shortfall in the supply of beef, lamb and pork. We also looked at the camel processors, this would prove to be a viable alternative to other sources and help to alleviate the problem of feral camels in Australia. I had to admit that camel meat is quite palatable.

Julia and I had both thought that we were coping well with the additional workload until we were ordered to take a time out. It was Sophie and Sam that decided that the workload was having a detrimental affect on us, that and Julia entering her third trimester with our second child. "Go! We have it all under control." Sophie told us. "I have spoken to the guys that got jobs with the experience they got working for us. Every one of them will put in one day a week free of charge as long as their spot is taken up by someone coming through our training system. They would still be paid in their job and the person that fills in for them will, if suitable, be offered the next position that becomes available. Now go, we do not want to see your here working for at least six months."

If we thought that we could just slide out without anyone noticing, we were very much mistaken. The Mayor arrived with the media entourage that filmed him helping serve food and announcing that the city would provide us with an additional, fully fitted out, kitchen for the homeless. Representatives from the supermarkets pledged to continue providing us with left over and outdated but still good food.

What really affected us was that, at each shift, we received a small present from the patrons, all wishing us well. One of the men from one of the lunch shifts handed us our small present. "We had a whip around and came up with a present for your new baby. We don't know if it will be a boy or a girl so we chose something that would suit either. All of us here hope that we don't see you again, but we will. We will take time from our jobs to welcome you back. You can count on that. You two are the best people in the world, we owe you more than we can repay and we will never forget you." He shook my hand and kissed Julia.

I would not have thought, back when I first came to this soup kitchen, that things would have changed so much. The demands for free meals has risen as changes in the financial systems have become worse. Usually facilities such as ours would be run off their feet and have a struggle to find enough food for its clients. Ours, however, has managed to keep ahead of the game due to the spirit of the place. Everyone is welcome, everyone is fed the same food. When collecting the plates from the tables the staff will talk to the clients to ensure that they have had sufficient and to see if they need help with anything else. We have contacts that can help out in most situations.

Julia was resting, she had probably no more than a week to go, and I called in to see how things were going. Sophie was serving. "Hi Dad, how's Julia?"

"Resting. How are things here?"

"Fine, will you stop worrying, we have it under control."

"Who's he?" The guy pushing his tray along the bench asked.

"That's Winston, him and Julia run this show. Who would have thought that eighteen months ago, he was on the bones of his arse and came in for a feed. Julia, being Julia, sat down and asked him how he was coping, and they just sort of clicked and this is the result, the best place for a free feed, ever."

"Do you guys need a hand?" The next guy in the queue asked Sophie.

"Probably, when you've finished take your plates out to the kitchen, Sam is in charge today, ask him if he needs a hand." The answer was always 'yes' even if it was not necessary. The word was, that if you volunteered and you made an impression, you stood a good chance of getting a job when a position became available in our training scheme. This would more than likely lead to a job in the industry, because restaurants and hotels have started using us to recruit new staff.

This was about as far from my previous life as I could get, and I could not be happier.

Scrub that last statement, I, we, now have a beautiful, as yet un-named daughter. Now I can say that I could not be happier.