All Comments on 'Can You Keep a Secret?'

The idea of instant BJ and of his dickie being oversized makes this just another jerk off assistant tale

Hey! E-W, Keep going, the story was pretty good for a first timer, the size doesn't matter so my lady keeps telling me. Roadrunner101

Good story. I usually don't read the incest stories as I have the idea that parents who have the urge in a way that can't be controlled should do suicide. Incest between siblings seems more innocent.

Definitely continue this, however you choose to do it. Oh, my only suggestion is a "don't". If and when the parents come home from vacation, don't have them get in on it. Just my personal opinion, leave it the bro and sis.

A little over the top. A virgin sister would be very unlikely to do what she did the very first time. The virgins I have taken in real life wanted it to be more careful because they were afraid at first.

Let your imagination run wherever you want. It is your story.

The ultimate accolade: a palmful of semen before the story finishes. Nicely written, pretty realistic. Actually I think there should be more reluctance and uncertainty and fear, but who knows; we don't get realistic reports of real sibling incest that we can distinguish from good fantasies, so who knows how it actually pans out? Yours is a good, naughty try.

It's got good story potential. I would have played it more reluctant on the brother's part, but I also blasted a load into outer space. Good story.

Hated the way that it ended, but only because I didn't want it to end so quickly. There were a few mistakes that could have (should have) been caught by an editor or by proof-reading ("by" instead of "my", "set" instead of "sat", "think" instead of "thing", simple things that distract a reader from the pictures in their mind of how things took place). Also, don't forget to add to the picture by describing some of the main elements of your story. For instance, describe the characters as you go. Don't just give them an age; give them dimensions by describing tall, short, thin, athletic, tan, pale; you did describe his sister's breasts a little, but that and the thong were practically all of the picture we had of your characters. I don't even remember what color that thong bikini of hers was, not that it REALLY matters in the long run, but a good story will give the reader a picture in their mind of what is going on in the author's mind. Don't misunderstand, I loved this story; this is just a little constructive criticism that will help you to make the sequel, and/or the next story, even better! I'm not going to tell you where to take the next story or tell you what your characters should have done in THIS story like the "backseat-writer" anony-"mice" always do, but I like to share my thoughts on how to improve your writing skills and encourage you to keep writing and re-read your story before submitting it to Lit. The spell-check will often find simple spelling mistakes, but not word-usage mistakes and misspellings that are actual words (like "by" instead of "my"). Re-read it slowly to find mistakes like omitting words or incorrect spellings of words like "there" (direction: over there), "their" (belonging to them: over their heads), and "they're" (short for "they are" as in: They're over there playing with their toys) or "its" (belonging to "it") and "it's" (short for "it is"). I don't grade based on grammar unless I get completely lost in the mistakes and have a headache by the end of the story and it becomes a buzz-kill trying to figure out what the author even means to say, let alone what they actually wrote, so you will never see me rip points for that sort of thing. I do hope that you will continue to write and work on a sequel so that we can all learn what happens the rest of the week and find out if that "first time" creates a "first child" on their "first early pregnancy test" at the end of the month. I enjoyed this story and I hope to read much more from you! Thanks!

Really, really enjoyed this. Loved your style of writing. Keep it up. More please.

encounter is over done. The same tale between 30+ siblings woud be awesome.

For a first timer she knewl alot but i loved it write more

good but confusing a lot of dialouge without saying who is talking you need to say who is talking all the time you can't just keep writing and hope the readers can figure it out it ruins the story we need to know who says what

for a virgin -- she must have watched a lot of porn, or had a girlfriend that told her all about it. But it's all fantasy anyway, so just go with the story and assume the guy was one lucky bastard, and she was the kind of girl most of us hope to meet just once in our life. I'm always turned on by a girl who likes cum and wants to play with it. The description of her spilling his cum back onto his prick then licking it off was one of the hottest things I've read. The only thing I can think of that would be hotter is for them to have a 3-way with another girl, and after he comes in one girl, the other sucks his cum out of her friend, spills it on his prick, then the one he fucked sucks his prick clean while the other one finishes sucking her pussy, then they finish with a cum-swap kiss. Keep writing these hot, nasty stories.

First of all, let me start by saying this: this was an EXCELLENT story. There are only a couple things that were a little hard to believe. First, the story never mentions the fact that virgin girls tend to bleed a little from their pussy the very first time they have sex. Second, while I was dating other people, (my twin sister and I now live happily married. We don't have any family. We were orphaned.) not one person I ever had sex with that was a virgin EVER wanted hard and rough sex the first time. Other than those two very minor things, this story is just about perfect. Great amount of buildup, great connection between the two, good basic foreplay, overall a nice and solid story. I could almost see everything. The pictures I was seeing in my head...they almost seemed real. (then again, when you are married to your sister, it's a little easier) Keep up the good work.

loved this story made me shoot my load a good few times

Excellent story, write more please

keep going!!!!!! omg! so fukin hott

Please keep writing! There is so much you could do with this story. I, personally, would like to see pregnancy brought into it.

Amazing detail... i loved it.. im wet from reading this ... pt 2 plz...

That was pretty well written for a first story. I would be interested to see where you take it from here. Keep writing!

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"Next time don't warn me, just come. I want to be surprised by it. Is it okay if when you start coming, I stop taking you so deep? I want your come in my mouth."

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Holy cow chips batman!! I WANT this sister!!! :). This is like a dream cum true sis for a brother, this is like a 'Can't Say No Barbie' for men! Lol ;)

Of course what she did with his cum blew my mind! Can you imagine your clean cut sister doing something like that?! Wow!

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"I want to suck your cock while I touch myself. And when you come, I want you to come right on my clit. I want to be rubbing your come on myself when I climax."

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She just keeps getting better and better!! I love you author! Hehehe ;)

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Yes, but I don't want you to act like some sensitive guy that wants to be gentle for his girlfriends first time. I want your cock in my cunt the way I wanted it in my mouth: deep and hard and fast. Even if it hurts. That's what I want. Can you do that, even if you can tell your hurting me, can you give it to me hard as long as I don't tell you to stop?"

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This chick just won the sister of the century award, lol! Wow!

Well that was an awesome short story!! I was smiling and amazed all the way through with her, hehehe! Looking forward to reading your long version and seeing if you have anything else!

THIS STORY IS INCOMPLETE, DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME.

I only have two small points of criticism. First, nobody but gay men want to hear about the size of a dick. 99% of men are smaler than 7 1/2 inches. That does nothing to make them feel good. Second, women never, and i mean NEVER refer to a pussy as a cunt. It is a phrase that ranks equal to in disrespect to the "N" word. It refers to a woman as less than human and no woman will ever use that to describe herself.

Totally credible and believable. /s

@ih8work: Agree with you regarding size but you are totally wrong about women not using the c word to describe their pussy, they do but usually in girl talk or with a man they are very close to. You'll find out when you get more experience.

For a 1st story it was pretty good.

I rated 4 Stars..

Great story