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Click hereI stared at the smiling faces as I felt the familiar anger rise up, the same anger that had fueled my passion for success. I smiled grimly. That fury had served me well in the past, but now was time for vengeance. And Emory was an integral part of this plan, whether she liked it or not.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 10 years agoI've just read all 3 chapters and it is interesting. I feel that torturing Emory is a bad way to get back at Lee, however if by the end of the story the big bad Tristan softens towards the lovely Emory and she starts feelings for him then maybe just maybe that would be the revenge right there. I'm not for the violent ways she's been subjected to so far but maybe bringing in some pleasurable torture would be the way to go. I really do like the story and hope my comment hasn't put you down in any way x
Anonymousover 10 years agoTo those who are against the more violent aspects of this story should really not be looking at the noncon tag. I mean this site is littered with consentual sex stories so maybe it would be better if you looked elsewhere. Heed my advice or not it doesn't matter to me but please don't pay out on the authors for your misunderstanding of the words NOT CONSENTUAL (which means FORCED).
Either way I'm loving this story, warts and all, and can't wait for the next chapter!
FA_JFover 10 years ago(I kinda liked the old name...)
If you don't know what kind of issues someone might have with a minister's son, you haven't personally know any preacher's kids....... lol
Anonymousover 10 years agoKeep going and ignore the haters! Ths is how it should be in NonConsent stories. Ruthless. :)
Anonymousover 10 years agoPeople seem to be really annoyed with the fact that she's being tortured or that she's an unrelatable charecter. I think this a story to follow. Stylistically, every post is getting better and better. This story has real potential, give it a chance before you come in hot about it being to much or not enough. If torture or sadism is something that you find offensive, maybe steer clear of the NonCon genre. I think it's a good story with a good developing plot line. Does it need to develop more? Of course. But don't knock the whole story while it's clearly in the process. Good job Nikki, keep it coming.
Phil_Patsfanover 10 years agoWhy torture Emory to get back at Lee? What does that accomplish? You haven't really defined her relationship with him and she admits that they have not been intimate yet; so what sort of leverage could Tristan have on Lee's family by kidnapping and torturing his girlfriend (other than guilt)? It really doesn't make a lot of sense (yet). Right now it's just torture for his own sadistic pleasure, which is fine if that is what the story is about. Plus, what kind of problem can you have with a Minister's son? I think you have a lot of holes to fill in.
Anonymousover 10 years agoWhy is it that when someone in these types of stories wants to get back at someone they go after the girl and torture and abuse het instead of being real men and going after the family or the other man? The story is well written but abusing someone who has nothing to do with the family is just cowardly. The abuse this girl can take is not realistic though. I hope inthe end he gets abused just like her if you can dish it out you should be able to take it.
spearishover 10 years agoVery intriguing and well written although I will agree that no human could tolerate that level of abuse without passing out but hey ...it's fiction and Tristan sounds very diabolical.More please.
Anonymousover 10 years agoIf you are going to torture someone for chapters on end for a story, at least have the sense to give the character enough of a personality that you can connect with them on some level so that you actually care about the torture you are reading about. What is the difference between this girl and ANY random horror movie victim? Not a damn thing and the villain is not any better written. Neither character is memorable or even remotely interesting. Learn how to build good characters before working on plots.
Masterfuljimover 10 years agoHe wants to use her to get back at lee's family and doesn't care if he damages her meantime.
He obviously wants her to perform something in a few days, so needs to break her fast, and to hell with the consequences....
But will he fall for her before that happens ??
I do agree re the unrealistic torture level, but hey...it's well written torture porn..
Go girl go...
Anonymousover 10 years agoAlthough I do agree that the 'torture for the sake of torture ' teaches nothing and won't bring about a true submission..also if he intends to totally degrade Emory then he's going to end up with very damaged goods indeed.
True submission cannot be forced from someone..it can only be a pale facsimile of the bond between a Master and his slave.
Obscurelogicover 10 years agoI found Emory's resilience to the physical torture unrealistic. Two hours almost hanging by your nipples! and that too after standing upright all night!! without food or water!!! A regular person would have collapsed hours ago. Also, if Tristan is trying to turn her into a sex slave wouldn't he not want her to be sunburnt?? Plus she's in the summer sun after just one glass of water in almost 24 hours...realistically speaking she'll be dehydrated so badly that she'll end up in the hospital on a drip. I know this is just fiction but still its easy to become detached from the character if the whole scenario seems too unreal.
The other thing that jarred me a little was that Tristan's narrative seemed like a third person narrative instead, specially when he began to give the details of his office decour.
Anyway your story is interesting and I'll be coming back for more. I like that there seems to be more to the story than a simple 'kidnapped girl to be turned into sex slave'.
Anonymousover 10 years agoThe deliberate torture is not sexy at all. What's arousing about leaving a pale-skinned person to burn in the sun? They don't get tanned from this, and you can't honestly call something like that training instead of punishment, because they only thing they "learn" is that they will be brutally tortured for no reason at all, and that therefore, being "good" serves no purpose. People aren't dogs with the inability to reason - they aren't going to be mutely grateful for stopping a torture that existed solely for the purpose of torture. You might be able to get away with that on a mentally broken or retarded person, but Emory is neither.
This Tristan comes off as a retarded novice who should be castrated and serve the rest of his life as a eunuch somewhere.
jennyb2492over 10 years agoGotta be a mom or sister. But what a bastard to use Emory for his revenge!
Eagerly waiting for more.
