Car Trouble

I had a blizzard of texts and missed calls from Krista. I didn't look at any of them, just hit return call. No signal.

I looked around. There was a house maybe a couple miles down the road.

The farmer's wife looked bemused when I asked if I could use her phone. I called Krista, but she didn't pick up. I left a message. I looked up the AAA number and called for a tow. The lady drove me back to my car in her pickup and commenced herding the cow back where she belonged.

It was an hour before the tow truck rumbled up and it took quite a bit of effort to retrieve the Bugeye from the ditch without further damage. As soon as we got signal on the way into town, I tried calling and texting Krista, but received no reply. Her texts were all short little "call me" types, bleeding into all caps and exclamation points.

It wasn't until mid-afternoon that the tow truck dropped me back at the house. The minivan was missing. The driver helped me push the Sprite back into the garage. With it secure, I went into the house.

The boys weren't home either, of course. Krista had left a note.

I'm sorry. You found my secret before I could tell you. I never wanted to hurt you. I'm taking the boys to my mother's. We need to talk soon. K.

Monday, I called in sick to work. I explained to my boss what was going on and she commiserated, telling me to take the time I needed.

Krista still wasn't answering or replying. I called her mother, Sandra's, house. She was cordial and guarded. I explained that I wanted to ensure that the boys were alright and to ask Krista to please call me: "we have a great thing. We can work it out."

"She's not here. I'll pass it along if she comes or calls."

"Sandra, no matter what, the boys are important. If they need anything, please call me. I won't make any scenes." We rang off and I thought about getting thoroughly drunk. The first taste of whisky, though, was bitter.

About 7:30, as twilight had fallen into night, I heard the rumble of Nathalie's car coming up the block. I heard the low growl as she waited in her driveway for the door to go up and the barely contained urging as the Hellcat nosed up into its space. Then quiet.

The lights were on next door and I could hear Nathalie playing her stereo a bit loud. Then, around 8:30, the music stopped. It must be Tess's bedtime.

I sipped the whisky again. This time it seemed palatable. I didn't want to throw things any more. I had cheated. She had cheated. We could work it out, I thought.

I tried calling Krista again, but my call went directly to voicemail. "I love you. Good night," I said, and hung up. I felt exhausted, but restless.

I gave up around ten o'clock. I could see Nathalie's lights were still on. I needed... something. A friend. A shoulder to cry on. Something.

I rapped lightly on the door. I heard her shuffling up. The porch light flicked on, exposing me in its glare, as she must have peered out the peephole. The deadbolt snicked back and the door popped open. She frowned at me.

"What brings you to my doorstep at this late hour? Don't tell me you're here to toy with my heart."

"Krista left me. She was having an affair and... and... I need a friend."

"I'm not going to be your revenge fuck."

"I would never ask you to be. Can we just talk?"

"If I let you in and we just talk, that's fine. But if we cross that line--you know which line--you better know that it's for keeps. You touch me, you better mean it, because I will fight for my man." I nodded.

We went into her living room. She went to the kitchen and got two rocks glasses and a clear glass bottle: mescal.

"This shit is like battery acid and you'll definitely regret it in the morning. But I think you'll find that in the right now it's exactly what's needed," she said, pouring two stiff slugs of it.

I regarded the glass for a moment, then took a healthy swig. It tasted like smokey battery acid. I recounted my story, leaving nothing out. She just nodded and made polite noises. The mescal level in my glass fluctuated regularly.

"I'm going to come sit next to you and I'm going to hold you, okay? It doesn't mean anything, as long as you keep your hands to yourself, okay?" I nodded. It felt good to be in her arms, to feel her body next to me.

"Tess's father is six feet under. He's there because I murdered his ass. It wasn't okay for him to want to knock me around. But when he went for my child, well... the D.A. saw it the same way. I'm telling you this, because I know what it is to love someone so much it makes you sick."

"I know you understand that what we did was wrong. And that what she did was equally wrong. And I can hear in your voice that you still love her. You can't make her stay and you can't go back. But you might go forward. But it's going to hurt really hard right here--" she thumped over my heart. "You're not thinking clearly tonight, or you wouldn't be at my house. Because I want nothing more but then to take you up to bed and love you like your woman should love you--loving you as your woman for the first time. But you'd regret it tomorrow, about like you're going to regret this mescal."

"You shouldn't be alone, though. So this couch is yours and this hug is yours as long as you need it." I held her close and it felt warm and comfortable. Her arms hugged and relaxed a few times. I became aware of the sound of her breathing, of the smell of her skin. The liquor made my blood warm. I blew gently in her ear.

"Careful, big boy," she whispered. "This is just a friendly hug. If you get me worked up, well, there might be no backsies from there." We hugged again and I rocked her in my arms, swaying gently on the couch.

She pulled back. She was right there and I wanted to lean in and kiss her.

"Do you love your sons?" she asked.

"Of course I do!"

"Could you love this child that's coming?" I thought for a second.

"Of course I could."

"Could you love Tess?" I laughed slightly.

"I already love her," I faltered. "As your daughter, of course."

"I know," she answered. "What if you got me pregnant? Would you love that child?"

"Always," I said, my voice firm with conviction. The ache to kiss her was like a stab in my chest. Her hand slipped down and touched me, feeling me as my pants started tenting upwards.

"You should spend the night on this couch. If you feel this way tomorrow night, you should spend it in my bed seeking to make good on that promise." Her hand drew away and she slipped from my grasp to go fetch a pillow and a blanket.

When she came back, I was standing. In my mind, I had one foot out the door, to await Krista at home, in our marriage bed. The other foot was one step closer to the stairs to Nathalie's bedroom, to the passion and understanding I knew resided there.

"Sweetie," she whispered, seeing me there with that look on my face, "you have no idea how hard it is for me to hold back here. I want nothing more than to feel your hands gripping my wheel and to let your floor my accelerator. I'm aching to have your babies in my belly. But tonight it's got to be the mescal that's talking."

I leaned in and kissed her, and she kissed back. "Damn you," she said. I pulled back, looking into her eyes.

"I hear everything you're saying. All those sensible, right words. The things I should do. Maybe it is the mescal talking. I want you... very much. Which is why I should go... so when I come back tomorrow..."

"If you're sure you're coming back tomorrow," she said, "why not consummate it now?" She initiated the kiss and it shook me to the core. Our hands wandered, exploring, touching, holding.

"I have to tell Krista it's over. I won't have you be the excuse. I'll come to your... to our bed unencumbered. As your man."

Her hand was stroking my insistent hardness. "I want this in me tomorrow. Or don't ever come back."

The morning dawned with a pounding hangover. The mescal might have been talking last night, but this morning it shouted and stomped. The house was empty and dark. My phone was still quiet, my messages unanswered.

I dialed Krista around nine and it went to voicemail.

"Krista, I know this whole thing is a... big deal. But we have to talk. We need to think about the boys and about the future. I need you to call me back." I hung up.

I wasn't sure what I felt. I loved Krista, but I was falling for Nathalie. I had a wonderful family, but we obviously had issues. What would I do, if Krista didn't call back? Betray our marriage with our neighbor (again)? Was it even betrayal now?

I went into the garage to survey the damage to the Sprite. Something for the hands to do while waiting for That Call. From the outside, things didn't look too bad. One fender had some crinkling where I had clipped the cow and the front bumper was stove in. A lot of these cars dropped the bumper for a cleaner line. Maybe I could do that?

I tilted the "bonnet" up to survey the mechanical damage. Unlike most cars, the whole front lifted up. Something had pushed up underneath and smashed the hose connection to the radiator. It didn't look too bad, but it was good I hadn't tried to run the car after the crash. A new radiator might be expensive, but maybe this one could be resuscitated? Sort of like a marriage, I thought.

It took me an hour to get things disconnected to where I could get a good survey. Still no phone call.

I was well into looking up the parts I'd need when Krista's van pulled into the driveway. I wiped my hands carefully on a shop rag. We both looked sheepish, standing in the driveway.

I broke the ice, "I'm sorry I didn't answer your calls. I wrecked the car outside cell range."

She had a wan smile. "I should have known it would be that car's fault."

"Shall we go inside?"

We sat awkwardly in the living room, not touching, facing each other.

"Do you love him?" I finally asked.

"I never wanted to hurt you."

"That's not important. Do you love him? Do you want to have your child with him?"

She was quiet, thinking for a moment. I just say, listening, waiting.

"We'll always be a family: you and me and Sam and Aaron. But you need to decide what's right for you. Do you know what you want?" She nodded slightly.

"I thought you'd be at work. I just came to get some clothes. I didn't mean for this to happen. But I want this child."

"We could..." but she was shaking her head 'no'.

"Okay. Go ahead. If you need anything, you can always come get it. Can I pick the boys up from your mom's? We can pick a time later to tell them together."

"Why don't we let them stay there for now. We should do it together, once we figure out details."

"Okay." There was more we both wanted to say, but I went back to the garage to let her pack. Eventually, I heard the van drive away.

Nathalie came home a little after five. I was watching from my living room window as Tess clambered out of the back and trudged into the house. Apparently, she had been naughty at daycare and I grinned at her pantomime stomp as she marched into the house. I could see from her face that Nathalie was struggling not to grin at it too.

Then it hit me. I could go over there. Right now. And if I did that, I was signing up to be Tess's daddy. I thought about waiting. How did Tess put it? Adult time? But I knew the anxiety must be eating Nathalie up too.

I picked up the casserole I'd made and went over to ring the doorbell.

Nathalie looked quizzically at my offering. "Normally, guys start off with flowers and chocolates."

"This is better: it's got broccoli in it."

"Is this a peace offering? A neighborly thank-you-for-the-rager-hangover?"

"Well, last night you said I could park in your garage..."

"You sure?" Was that a hint of a smile?

"Never more." She had a bounce in her step as she took the casserole into the kitchen. I sat at the table with Tess while Nathalie dished up dinner. Afterwards, she went to play until bedtime. I helped clean the dishes.

"So you had the conversation?"

"Yes. They're having their child together."

"I'm sorry. That's got to hurt."

"Yeah," I said, the black feelings nibbling at me again.

"What about me? I'm not sure you're ready to go back out on the track so soon. This isn't like getting a fresh set of tires, you know," she said. I laughed.

"You're no pit stop, that's for sure!"

"You got that right, buster!" She waltzed over and put her arms around me. "You know I'm not on birth control, right?"

"You made that clear. You sure you want spare parts of this old jalopy?" She just nodded.

I read Tess her good-night story for the first time, kissed Bun and Mr. Stuffins and Pookie good night, and shut the door. Nathalie was waiting barefoot outside her bedroom, with her back to the closed door.

"This is your last chance to steer clear. There's no safety harness, no helmet after this. There's also no denying it--I am not a secret to be kept."

I leaned down and kissed her. The door swung open behind her. My right hand cradled her head, while my left hand grasped her ass. She had one hand on my shoulder and the other behind me. We swayed in the doorway, eyes tight shut, hearts pounding. We shuffled into the dark room.

I felt a sense of urgency then. I pulled at her blouse and found her naked underneath. Pushing her before me, laid her on the bed and pressed my lips first to one speed bump and then the other. The pink buds stiffened beneath my tongue. Her hands gripped my shoulders and I glanced up to see her eyes hungrily on me. I dove lower.

Her wide black leather belt with its silver buckle. Her jeans were new and black, the cloth still stiff to my fingers as I parted buttons. I whipped them down and off. I found my driveway, narrow and curving, between pale thin thighs. I kissed the railing on either side, curving left and then right and then back again. Higher and higher. I was following the scent of her well-lubed cylinder. My lips dove in and it was like we'd left the pavement. Her hips bucked as I let her steer my lips up to unseal her radiator cap and polish her hood ornament. I let her siren blare, moaning and sighing, as I put my fingers, key-like, into her ignition. She didn't call for the pace car, but zoomed for the checkered flag.

I worked my way up her body, then, memorizing the route, until our lips could meet. The hunger from before was back in her expression. She scrunched and wiggled, trying hard to get her opening up against my tool.

"I want you," she hissed. "I want you to ride me hard. Stick your piston in me and pound me deep. Take it to the redline." I snuggled up and, with a mutual sigh, we found the right spot.

"You haven't turned back yet. But there are no U-turns from here. Just an expressway to daddy town." I moved the tip to her entrance, the two of us rocking together just so, teasing each other.

"Be sure you want this. It's a one way, no exits. You're going to have to pay the toll. Once you pass this spot..." I nudged in. One inch inside her.

"Oh, you're on the route." Another inch. She was tight and wet, it was difficult to maintain control and not slide all the way in. Another inch. Another. Another.

"Mm," she moaned, basking in the sensation, hands grabbing me. She shoved herself at me and together we went the final mile.

"That's where you belong, daddy. Parked in my garage. Every night, crashing against my barrier. We're going to need a school bus for all our cuties before I'm done getting lubed by you."

We moved together, her knees rising around me as I ground and plunged as deeply as I could. I bent my neck to kiss her as we truly made love for the first time.

"Claim me, daddy. Mark me as yours. Fill my womb with our first child together," she begged. "You know you want to fatten my belly. Grease my womb with your hot cum, baby." Her fingers danced between us, nudging my balls, drawing me closer and closer to the edge.

"Tell me what you want, daddy. I need to hear it." My need was building. I was on the road marked "dangerous curves ahead" and still accelerating.

"I want you, Nathalie. I want to give myself to you, fill your belly. I want everyone to know you're mine and I'm your man."

"Yes, daddy. Yes, daddy. Give it to me." With a soaring groan, I did.

As we lay there in the afterglow, side-by-side, her hand was on her mound, rubbing her clit.

"I'm going to get myself off, now, lover. I want to be sure I pump all that sperm deep inside me. I just want you to watch." Her hand frigged her and frigged her. I watched as her nipples tightened and her chest flushed red and she came with an "ah... ah... ahh..."

"Aren't you glad you're here?" she asked.

It was a long time before all of the puzzle pieces sorted themselves out, but sort themselves they did.

Sam and Aaron didn't understand at first. That was the most difficult part. Krista's lover turned out to be a tall black man name Terrance. Oddly he move into our old house with Krista and the boys, so they're our next door neighbors. I got to watch as Krista swelled up for the third time--and delivered a baby boy who they named Justin.

Nathalie was doing her own swelling act. She was insatiable about getting pregnant, had a rough time with morning sickness, but got even more insatiable while pregnant. In the end, the boys didn't just get one sister (in Tess) but a baby sister, Madeleine.

Sometimes on the weekends, Nathalie and I will take the Sprite on a casual jaunt. And sometimes we take the Hellcat, in which no drive is ever casual. And pretty often she takes me (or I take her) for a drive of our own, which is why we have a third one on the way already.