All Comments on 'Care Package'

Well done, may be a slow burn in your mind, but I'd say a hot fire all along, exploding into a 10 alarm blaze erly on. Funny too, so excellent job.

I enjoyed the story overall but the brother/sister gamesmanship was a bit tedious at times. Also fell there something "more" for us readers, so I would expect a part 2. If not, then the ending falls a little flat. 4* for now...

Would have loved for the three of them to live happily ever after as a throuple, but the ending is fine as it is. Great work.

It didnt make sense that his condition caused pain from touching but could handle sex or could barely walk but could stand at the sink to fuck megan or even be on top for sex. I liked the slow burn but then u rushed the situation after the fight n him making rules cause he was so against incest. Other then that a really good story n cant wait for ur next story.

Great, would like to see it go further.

A great story overall, the sickness was a bit confusing to me as someone else mentioned seeming to affect his regular life but not sex life. I understand the plot point to drive the story but still felt it wasn't quite there.

Also as someone mentioned, a 3way relationship I think would have worked well. Maybe that is for a follow up chapter but both siblings cared for Megan and she cared for both as well as being open to their incest. So not a long stretch for her to be OK with all 3 in a relationship together.

Slow burn? Yeah mentally slow it sounded like the brother has more than just a physical ailment. Sounds like he should be on the lake bus. And what's with the not able to walk very well or touch anything but can screw like a pornstar? Just all over the place and the pain of the brother and sister Shadow boxing couldn't finish the story sorry. Couldn't rate because I won't rate if it's below 3* so it won't hurt your ratings and such

Great ending! So happy they ended up together & happy! Also glad you didn’t bring Meghan into their relationship! 5

Enjoyed the story even if his resistance was futile they got there in the end eventually. I would have thought she would be pregnant by now. Wondering how Meaghan would have fitted in with the two of them if you had taken the story a bit further. Good read though thank you.

For those who have found the illness a bit confusing - it's a real one. Fibromyalgia. Chronic pain gets in a way of a lot of things... But you can still do others.

You’ve done a great job when people want more. If it were perfect you’d be Stephen King, but I think you did an awesome job. 7 stars.

Tc

Felt it moved too slowly. Couldn't get my mind around his being so disabled with such pain but could still have sex and the touching and movement that goes with it. Great concept and well written.

Moved too slow, and 2/3 Should have been cut out.

Love your style and your storytelling. Great piece well worth reading.

I personally think you did a great job on the story and look forward to reading more of your stories. I have to agree with another comment that his disability was a bit much for him to perform like you had him.

Good story....well written. I figured Fibro as his illness early on but his energetic sex just didn't play right.

Truly well crafted story. Sister definitely was manipulative but I suppose that could be true to real life. Not sure I ever felt the love that the brother had for his sister but again that could be authentic as well.

The 5-star rating system sucks. I‘d usually give a story i like five-stars. Enough ppl here to 1-star when they aren't 120% happy. For once i really mean it. It was great and amazingly intense. You took your time and that was awesome. Very explicit - well, why not - but so important it didn‘t come to a happy threesome ending.

What woman don't manipulate her man? Lover, wife, cousin, sister, mother, every woman does it. Great story.

A very good story, well written and engaging. Thank you.

I made of through 8 1/2 pages and had enough of Eric’s whining and breaking his word. Also his flipping out about being manipulated by his sister. He a grown fucking man that behaves like a 14 year old. He swears that he very much loves Vi, but trashed her love repeatedly. That isn’t love, that’s incredible selfishness. Too aggravating for this reader.

Frankie1952, Wash2015, and Teacher44 all echoed the same idea that I had. When you already had the playful banter between Violet and Meagan calling each other shut and bitch, it was only a half step more for them to awaken to a stronger bond and attraction for each other. They could easily have become bisexual lovers sharing Eric. Hell, Vi was totally on board with her friend being her surrogate. Ending the story with a positive affirmation of a Triad would have brought their relationships full circle.

Emotional blackmail is never a turn on. Fragile, needy, unstable peopler toxic.

Good story, but I think they should've included Meghan as the official girlfriend. She'd already fallen in love with him and obviously deeply cared about the sister.

Nice story. I actually liked that you didn’t add Meghan into their relationship

I really liked this story. My only real complaint is how resistant he is even when he's finally accepting this new relationship Vi. Because earlier in the story it said about being attracted to her when he was younger. So I don't get why now even if he thought it was behind him, he'd be acting like this is completely outside of his comprehension.

I wanted to like this story more than I did. I really wanted to. You're an excellent writer, and I've enjoyed other stories of yours, but this one involved way too much self-loathing for both Eric and Violet. While that may have been realistic, it was torturous reading for most of the story. I liked the happy ending, but the route to get there was not very enjoyable. It felt like a case study in mental health issues. While that's important in science and psychology, I don't consider it pleasure reading. I still gave you 5 stars for the quality of writing, but it was not my cup of tea other than the beginning and the end.

Boy a lot of melancholy here. He suffers a crippling (sports?) injury, Vi broods because she wants him so bad, and Meghan ‘volunteers’ first her services then to break up with him even tho she likes him a lot. Maybe she just can’t take commitment? Anyways loved the story, other than his sudden change of heart about dating his sister.

One of the best stories I have ever read on this!!!!! 😀

Bonus threesome, please!

Would love to see a followup story to this. This was great from beginning to end.

I want more of this 😭

Fantastic story 5/5.

Poor Eric you made him such a clueless fool and a dick to boot.

But u finished the story beautifully. No threesomes, just the sibs together at last

Just wonderful.

If u add to this keep them together no one else.

The next chapter can be their first baby 😉

Good story l lots of emotions from all three of them. I liked your inference at the end about Meghan coming by. I do hope they find a way to let her into their lives. Not because it would be kinky or hot or whatever. But it was obvious to me that she used her brashness to hide how truly sensitive she was.

Thanks for a great story.

Al

Kudos for not turning it into a harem deal with the girl banging every swinging dick she can find in a 100 mile radius.

Good job!

I love this story. Thanks.

Great job!!! Smooth writing, very believable, and well edited. I wouldn't add to it; move on to your next idea. Sometimes it's hard to know when.

XYZ

Loved it

It's a fantastically beautiful story.

Thank you for turning porn into romantic erotica.

In the last scene, when describing Violet at the easel, the rounded belly is worth mentioning. ;)

I like that this was a slow burn and that the brother actually made sense it brought realism to the story which I enjoyed. I am looking forward to reading more from you 😊

I’m in awe of your character development and interaction. Also I know I’ve said this in other comments but the fact that you put out so many QUALITY stories in one calendar year still blows my mind. Lol hell it took me 5 years before I was able to write my one and only story!

Wow that was amazing

I'm not even sure how to compliment you, that was everything. It encompasses everything a great story should be, you are an artist as an author. I am so fucking jealous, damn I am so jealous. I have to read all of your stories now. Thank You.

Your stories are so wonderful, I wish you were my sister.

Loved it. I couldn't stop reading. Write more, please

Read it right through, good bye Meghan. Make more chapters about them 2, also have the parents come up to visit.

I never comment on a story but this masterpiece deserves recognition. At first I was like "ugh 9 pages" but the story just sucks u in and makes u want more. There are minor grammar errors but they aren't enough to throw u off. The story made u feel like u were a part of it. Drawn into the roller coaster of thoughts and emotions. Just freakin fantastic!!

Loved this story, because it's real in so many ways. My daughter has Fibro, although maybe not as bad Eric does. But as it says in the story, everything hurts, you just have to chose what's worth hurting over. The same applies to Eric's feelings of worthlessness. He went from a top ranked MMA, to barely able to walk without screaming. That would definitely be a blow to your self esteem. As for whether he loves Violet or not, he does, but it's not just the incest that pushes him away, it's also his belief that he's not really worth loving anymore. On the other hand, I agree with Crusader that women always manipulate men, since they can't win against us physically. Again though, Eric's anger is more with himself because Violet is wasting her time chasing a worthless cripple. That's what makes a great story writer, that I could feel all of that deeply...

Kinda sad it doesn't have a more Poly ending, like Christmas with Ivy (another good story by the author)

But, still, well written, good work ^-^

A good story that got fucked up wuth the entry of Meghan!! Even at the very end there is Meghan!!

But V is a psych bitch 🤣🤣

Great writing but I feel bad for this author if these are they types of women they have spent time with. Yikes.

I like the story telling. Author did a great job. Have/will enjoy(ed) more stories by him/her.

great story loved it

ANOTHER TRASH STORY WITH SIBLINGS SHARING!! MEGHAN WAS UNNECESSARY!!

Longgggg Too Long

Liked the story and all the characters as each added to the overall story outcome. Long but it worked as most kept reading until conclusion however, a couple more chapters could have made it even hotter. Keep writing as your overall theme is great.

This, this is what I wanted, what we wanted but were too afraid of losing our folks and family. So yes, I love the story but posting this comment as anonymous bc...family

Althese comments commenting on the length of the story, firstly you were prewarned at the start this is a story to take time. Secondly with this genre of writing I think it needs to be a long story because you need to feel for the characters, you need to understand the love for them. I can’t stand the 2k word stories that start with one family member looked at the other and before they know it, they were naked and going at it like rabbits. An author needs to explain the love that one family member has for another and the reason why they are breaking the forbidden boundary of incest.

This is the second story of yours I have read and absolutely loved it. The turmoil Eric had lusting over his sister but understanding why it couldn’t happen and then Violet trying to seduce him and knowing how upset Eric would be when he found out…. I thought was amazing. 5 stars!

Holy shit… that was an amazing story. You idiots saying it long… smh. This was probably one of the most real stories on here and the length was perfect. The tenderness, seduction, push-and-pull caused by raging hormones, the rejection, further temptation and the climax of crossing over and invisible line by giving in….. masterful. It made you feel for the characters and made them seem so much more real. Meghan fit the story and leaves future possibilities open. Goddamn….

So many pointless bs. One moment the brother hates incest and will do anything to avoid it, next moments he’s all like “yeah let’s fuck. Nice story telling. Can’t believe wasted my time reading this

Fucking love this story, reread it so many times and it never gets old. It’s sweet, emotional, , and sexual but not too sexual, like subtle until it picks up of course, which is a perfect combination for these two, and the characters development, ‘clap’. Great storyteller no matter the bad comments, and for people who say it’s too long and all that, there was a warning that this would take time. *Standing ovation* 11/10

Not once did you identify the main character had Fibromyalgia. until you responded with post story comments in response to criticism. Furthermore, there are times depending on many factors this condition varies in pain levels even throughout the day and some can deal with it better with medication where others not so fortunate. You never identify any details as to the serverity what efforts for easing might have been available to deal with this deabilitating condition. The fact you have the sister acting completely ignorant time and time again throughout this story in causing him physical pain is absolutely stupid and inconceivable. And then--- sending a roommate over to extol physical contact with no understanding is just plain dumb to boot. Lack prudent information and the tasks you ask the main character to ignore without proper communication of what all the parties to contend with is just lacking integrity and the story is just a complete flop. negative 100 stars.

I have numerous friends with different levels of this disabilitating condition and in every case each of the relationships are very intuned with their partners conditions and they are very keen about the knowing whether physical activity is not always possible with their partner. Very disappointed you be this ignorant to make this a vital part of the story and never reveal the said condtion only using vagueness for a very real critical piece of information.

@anon > Very disappointed you be this ignorant to make this a vital part of the story and never reveal the said condtion only using vagueness for a very real critical piece of information.

... Well, I'm not so ignorant about the illness. Been living with it for nearly two decades.

Lovely story!

Please tell me you are working on some kind of part 2 for this story!?

It is such a lovely read. Would like to know what happend between them until the day they moved in together as well as afterwards.

A good read, though yet again annoyed that there's a third party involved at some point (though at least it was temporary and there was a "good" reason). Seems to be a rarity these days when the story stays completely focused on the 2 main characters in the relationship. A part 2 would be nice :)

It was a sad story but evolved with a happy and satisfying ending.

Well done.