All Comments on 'Caren with a C'

Great start. Keep up the good work.

You're off to a nice start and have made good use of the Writer's Resources forum-- something not every author on this site has the humility or wisdom to do. I look forward to the next installment of this story!

Looking forward to the next installment of this story. A good beginning, with nicely developed characters and a believable storyline,

Very realistic and descriptive. Tommy is a fortunate guy to have had a girl like Caren teach him before going away to college.

Please don't make us wait too long for the next chapter!

I sure wish my first time had been similar to that, not that I'm complaining beause it was great for a horny teenager.

:)

The story and writing wasn't bad but just an fyi. If a woman's vagina smells like tuna fish she most likely has bacterial vaginosis.

Good story about good people. Good writing also. Liked the development.

You've set up some good characters here. Definitely worth working with & coming up with a part 2 at least.

...since this WAS interesting.

Nicely done.

Well done, could easily take this to twins incest

I wanna know what happens next. Please keep the story going. :)

Sequel Please

The head of the English Department had two rubber stamps he used when grading student papers: "I stopped reading here" and "Too Good Not To Be Better." Your story kept my attention all the way through, but I wished you had read your story out loud before submitting it. Most likely you would have caught a few errors.

For example, "I could sit at almost any table in the cafeteria of my relatively small local high school with no problem - athletes, smart kids, drama gang, skate boarders, anyone except the super cool kids - and none of them **ask would** me what I was doing there or make me feel unwelcome. None of them waved me over** either** though." You would have caught "ask would" and changed it to "would ask." On the other hand, reading it out loud might not have told you to put commas in the last sentence: "None of them waved me over, either, though."

Bravo for using (mostly) the correct form of lie. "I got in bed next to Caren, lying on my back. . . . She pulled the covers back then so I was lying naked next to her." A few paragraphs later, though, there was a slip that a salutatorian would not have made: "'Yes, but not tonight. Let's go to sleep. It's late and I'm tired.' I **laid** back and she put her head on my chest, one of her breasts lying on my chest and the other pressed up against my side." Tom should have said, "I lay back."

I hope you continue to write and publish here. Thanks.

Great way to lose your V-card

Being introduced to PIV sex by a woman who's experienced is the best thing a young man could imagine. Great story, by the way.