by maximumeffort
Thanks for the feedback guys. I just posted chapter 2 and it should be on the site within a few days. Please let me know if you like it!
And not 4. The writing is good but the quick jump not so much. No build up. Also at 13? I know that happens but you shouldn't be writing about it. Also it seems her parents knew she had a boyfriend? Sorry but that is just wrong. No parents should allow their daughter to 'date' at that age. Its disgusting. Really think you should change the age of the experience. Maybe 15? Or perhaps 16.
She is 18! Did you not read? 13 was her first experience with jack. 3rd paragraph says she is 18 but still young looking.
I didn't like hearing about what happened when she was 13. Giving a hand job. Too young to write about that.
I don't know who these Anons are who time-traveled in from the 1890's but kids nowadays are doing a LOT more than handjobs by 13.