All Comments on 'Carpe Noctem'

If you're wanting to improve it?

I recommend more dialog.

So we readers can be filling in the spaces.

All of the great build up... all the great feelings that she is feeling... nothing from his pov. 2 full pages of this, then 2 short paragraphs of their joining. Just wondering why.

Some dialog would help with that, and add some excitement. It almost seemed like a Swedish movie, no dialog, and everything being said with looks and gestures. Gave you a 5 though, keep writing.

While the writer has been criticized for insufficient dialogue I find it perfectly congruous to not have so much dialogue when a tale is related by one of two participants in a sexual encounter. It was a privilege to be allowed to peer into the mind of a woman experiencing her first sexual encounter with a gentle caring man. I didn't need dialogue to know the man as the female protagonist described what she was observing and experiencing in her companion.

As I was reading what was going on in the present of the story I was fascinated by the history of this relationship that had started and grown online. I also became aware of how kind and caring this man was with nurturing a relationship with a virgin online. It was also warmly satisfying to know that she had gone online and admitted to her lack of sexual experience. Just all adds up to a wonderful loving encounter where a woman surrenders her virginity to an experienced man who is fully conscious of her feelings because the rapport was there before they met and once they met they were fortunate to feel the necessary chemistry to go through with what they thought they might like to do together. There was no question of an experienced man taking advantage of an innocent woman.

Very well done, HoneyInPlaid!