All Comments on 'Carson Evolved Ch. 10'

Good read and great writting. Enjoyed very much as always. Please keep coming..

Hey MB,

Dude, you ROCK!

Assuming Isana and Arai DO get pregnant, Carson has ten golden lines locked down down with one just one to go...Woo-hoo! I look for your writing every day - so please, keep it coming!

Let me switch from raving fan to reflective reader momentarily...you asked several for feedback on several issues, and taking you at your word, I'll take a stab at them.

Regarding length of the chapters: I love reading installments of 10+/- pages. I have enough material to sink my reading teeth into, but I'm not tempted to read until the wee hours, as would be the case if you sent out a 25 page behemoth. 8 pages is, for me, about the shortest I truly enjoy. Just to be clear I am NOT complaining about your 5 page submissions - I'll gladly take whatever you send out! I'd love 'em even more if they were a little longer.

Regarding accumulating new women in Carson's life: I'd love it if he had a jabazillion women who were all carrying around his progeny, but I wonder how this plays out in his/the orriri organization stated quest of improving the world. Specifically, what is changing for the better and in what time frame? I think if you are able to answer that question (if not explicitly for us readers, then certainly for yourself), you'll be better able to steer the course of the story where you want it to go.

Last, I thought of a book I read years ago. "The hero with a thousand faces" by Joseph Campbell is about the enduring nature of hero myths, and what characteristics the longest-lasting stories share. Knowing how busy you are (or are going to be) with school, I still think you'll find it useful in constructing your tale, and strongly encourage you to locate a copy and go through it. It may slow down your submission schedule, but if it's useful to you, I'm good with that.

If you need to get back to me, you can contact me through my profile.

Back to raving fan: keep up the great work (never stop writing)!

Regards,

Mel

Splendid work so far. Enjoying it immensely! Suggestion as per request: Queen Medb (Maeve) of Connacht, legendary Irish man-eater, needed seven men to satisfy her, until she met King Fergus of Ulster [the great Celtic scholar Kuno Meyer informs us of this apparently (see wikipedia) in the Zeitschrift für Celtische Philologie vol. 1, of 1897, racier reading than one might have thought…].

Chapter length is fine. At this point, we're past the detailed sexual antics part and a summary is totally fine. Focus on the plot, please.

I think, the chapter length is really good. My Idee for a other lioness is, a woman based on Helena from Sparta, who runs away from her Husband, because he is such a Tyrann. (eventually for Gianna van Heul? She could be a second Matriarch with Helena for Carsons Family) . Or a other Woman in this Universe :D. But I Think Helena from Sparta would be a good Template for a Woman.

And I really liked this Chapter, keep up the good Work!

I think the length of this Chapter is completely Okay.

My Idee for the next woman would be Helena From Sparta but please without the Ending( That she goes back to her former Husband the Spartan King and Tyrann, after the dead of the other Husband, who she runned away with). As Example you could take Gianna as a Second "Matriarch" or Adviser for Carson.

This is a great story and i agree with the person that said 387 chapters was a good stopping point. But in all seriousness this really is a very entertaining story and i thank u for ur time to write this for our enjoyment. Keep up the great work n waiting not to patiently for the next installment.

I see a lot of teflers story here. Lion and lioness Helena and Helene starfyre and Faye’s. Drinking his cum to make a psychic connection, matriarchs, babies lots of babies still a good story with ur spin on it 5 stars

Write as much or as little as you want, but don't change the level of detail you provide.

Cheng I Sao: The pirate queen of the China Sea. You don't have an Asian ethnic character in / around the Pride. She could come in as an obstruction to the faustian finances. Very interesting person, look her up.

Julie d'Aubigny: Crossdressing, bi-sexual, partying, tomboy. Maybe an 'ex-friend' of one of the lionesses who 'imposses' on the stability of the Pryde?

Catarina Sforza: Proto-feminist who didn't let people use her gender as a weakness. Also, possibly killed her husband. An organization outcaste with a bone-to-pick?

(Not registered so call me Gr3y)

One of the best serial stories on the site. A lot of romance, and even more sci-fi, tied together by a rapidly evolving plot. Great characters- the villains are as evil as evil gets. A few chapters ago, I suspected Aria would infect Carson with the sterility virus - looks like I wasn’t far from the mark. Still, it’s not entirely predictable, and that’s good.

I’ve read these first 10 chapters in a binge, now I’m disappointed that I’ll have to wait for the next chapter. That said, better to wait for it ‘done right’, than garbage pushed out to meet some arbitrary schedule. You can’t rush a creative process.

Thanks for sharing your fine work.

All I can say is, why stop at 387 chapters?

That Carson forgot to read the manual on the nanites. I guess Aria hasn’t read the manual, either, or she would have known her plan wouldn’t work. Remember, she’s in the project too, and has nanites as well. Hmmmm, plot holes...........

Really enjoying it so far cant seem to stop reeding i love how carson has such a good hart that he will look past such a horrific plan

Just enjoying where this story is going! Keep up the good writing!

Not just a plot hole with the nanites (as another Anon mentioned previously), but also for a guy that can read minds, he doesn't use it nearly enough on his enemies. All he had to do was read her mind to know that she put the drug in the wine, and make an excuse not to drink it.

Like the story a lot! Action , sex and romance works great for me. The only small comment I have is that you’re a bit unfaithfull to the existentiële characters which results in them having very little depth for supposedly strong women. Gave you 5 stars anyway because I like the fantasy so much.

MB!,

It is obvious that you have no clue in Hebrew: there is no word as "ARIA" in Hebrew! It is true that lion is ARIE in Hebrew and "ARIA could be attributed to the female using the "ARIA" as the female form but lioness in Hebrew is a different word! - LEVI'A. So lioness in Hebrew is levi'a. Actually, giving a newborn baby girl the name levi'a. is not rare!

Atcually, LAVI is also synonym to "ARIE- two common names to boys