Cassandra

This story has to be in the third person. I cannot do this in the first person, I cannot bring myself to put myself in this man's shoes, so forgive me, because we all know that sooner or later everybody has to answer the final roll call.

*

The unarmed Medevac chopper hit the ground hard almost tossing out the Crew Chief, who was already precariously perched on the skid and ready to jump to the ground. The platoons of Huey Gunships circled the LZ, using their fifties and forty millimeter guns to dust down anything that moved or looked suspicious in their fire zones. The four men quickly ran up with the last of the wounded and slid his litter on the deck. The crew chief and the nurse locked his litter into the deck slots. The second man was still on the ground with his bearers kneeling, the medic attending had pulled the dead soldier's poncho over his face and shook his head.

"This 'un's almost gone, ma'am," the medic had passed up the nearly empty IV bag to the nurse, "dunno if you wanna waste much time on him."

He sounded calloused and hard, but he was only telling her the unvarnished truth as he knew it, straightforward and plain.

"Ro-ger roger," she responded.

"That's the last one this trip," he slapped the side of the bird and gave the pilot the thumb's up as the Crew Chief jumped back in, "we got a lotta bodies still lying here, and we need'a get 'em home," his face was a blank mask as he hollered over the noise of the whirling blades, numb and emotionless as he stepped back and squatted holding a weapon that he'd gotten God knows off what body, and squatted, pointing it down-range, a single lonely body guarding her chopper with his life, bending against the rotors' down-wash.

"I'll pass it on," the Nurse yelled back.

So, this soldier wasn't expected to live. He was badly torn up, his body had been hit many times. She was later told that he'd put his life up in exchange for a platoon of other boys -- a platoon of men, they were no longer boys -- who'd been taken under attack by heavy fire. The majority of the platoon would have probably been among the bodies, had it not been for him. As it was, because he seemed ready to meet his God, they had held him and the dead one, to the last in case a chopper couldn't land or had to suddenly depart or, God forbid, go down in flames as so many medevac choppers already had. The ground triage team had first to send back the worst wounded that could reasonably be expected to survive. The last chopper was reserved for those still alive, but who had no hope of survival and were already dead but holding on by a thread. This, then, was the nurse's personal flight.

Her pilots called the flight, when she climbed aboard, Angel of Mercy Flight One. The last hope for these dead men that were stubbornly hanging on to life. The Nurse unwrapped another IV, tossing the bag to her orderly to hang up.

"God knows there's so fucking many," the sweat ran like tears down her cheeks, it was hot and steamy, "so fucking many."

So fucking many! They lay out there waiting for Graves and Registration to record their deaths. That this one was still alive was due to his stubbornness or Saint Peter's busy staff holding him in the lineup or both, because ol' Pete must've been busy checking in all the dead from this operation and only he and God knew why this man still hung on -- and God only knew what kept him from sending up his soul.

The orderly, a hospital orderly for God's sake, had the IV bags hanging as this soldier's litter was brought up. The Crew Chief helped slide the litter up as the Orderly and the Nurse locked it into the deck slots. The Crew Chief himself, a grizzled veteran of many of these mercy flights and all of twenty years old, waited calmly for the Nurse to give him the okay before winding his finger in the air and sliding inside out of their way, half in and half out of the bird, one foot on a skid and squatting on the other. The Nurse hastily found a collapsing vein and quickly and skillfully pushed the IV needle into it. She had grown skilled in finding those illusive veins aboard vibrating and thumping helicopters, a skill that she hated, one that she wished she'd never had to learn.

The chopper's turbines whined as it lifted slowly from it's makeshift LZ. He must have had nerves of steel, because the incoming rounds were enough to test a lesser man's courage. He lifted the out of tune, vibrating machine as gently as he could. She braced herself against the tilt of the chopper and ignored a stray bullet that snapped past her head and perforated the soldier's IV bag.

"This must be a good man," she thought illogically, "the Devil's fighting hard to have him," it never occurred to her that she might be the intended target.

She reached up and held onto a strap as the aircraft shuddered and she prayed as she had so many times before, that she would make it back to base without losing her dying, maimed and so very precious, cargo. She'd already had one helicopter shot out from under her and by The Grace of God only one of the crew, the crew chief, had been injured and that only a comparatively light sprained wrist. As for this near shot, the orderly calmly reached over with one hand and pinched one of the holes in the bag, hanging on to a strap and waiting for the flight to stabilize before pinching the other hole.

The Crew Chief, seeing the spurting saline, quickly stood, hanging onto the back of the copilot's seat, and reached his hand out, following the orderlies lead, pinching the other hole tightly. They grinned at each other over this small victory, and if it had been possible, would have slapped palms -- an aerial high five. The Crew Chief glanced out the open side as a platoon of Cobra "Gunfighters" joined the fracas.

They came in firing rockets into the jungle canopies, their flame-tailed rocket exhausts whorling like pig's tails, as they streaked down from the bird's under-winglet launchers, the forty-millimeter guns blasting blue flames, sending the HE rounds into the dense thickets. The Crew Chief grinned at the carnage he assumed they were wreaking on the Viet Cong and wished he were a gunner on one of those killer birds.

The dying soldier lifted a hand aimlessly and mumbled something. The Orderly leaned over him to hear any last words, a gesture that moved the Nurse.

"Cassandra," the dying man croaked, "Cassandra . . . I'll . . . be . . . home," he finished with a muffled groan of pain and regurgitated a small spill of blood.

The orderly looked up at the Nurse, his eyes suddenly reddening, the name reminded him of his own wife and family back Stateside, holding his tears back with an effort. It was rare for this to happen, but his own daughter's name was Cassandra, and it had struck home, reminding him how far away he really was. The sweat pouring down her face made it hard to tell if the Nurse was also crying or not, but her sympathetic pain was plain on her face. She knew this soldier was dying and there was nothing more that she could do for him, so she fought on through tears of frustration, fighting to keep fluids in his body, fighting to keep him alive for the doctors in Da Nang. She wept for him, and for all the others that had slipped through her hands because she could not work miracles. That she had saved so many lives already with her skill and expertise was presently beyond her comprehension, so she stood in frustrated and pained sympathy for this dying boy. The orderly handed her the needle of another bag as the first bag emptied itself onto the chopper's deck via this soldier's bloody wounds. The Nurse finally managed to find another flat vein and with the same unwanted skill, again slid the needle gently home.

There was something about this young fighter. The shoulder patches showed him to be a 2nd battalion, 75th Infantry Ranger, oddly out of place in this pile of 25th Infantry soldiers. She laid her warm hand on his chest as her mingled tears and sweat streaked clean lines down her dirty cheeks. She was so tired, just so goddamned frigging tired, she thought as the soldier whispered "Cassandra" again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She had her back to him, as he rounded the bend, sitting under the old maple at the corner of the pasture.

"Cassandra," he yelled out startling her.

"Char-lee-ee," she screeched, heedlessly tossing aside the bouquet of wild flowers she'd picked for him, "you're home!" she whispered hopping up and down before her feet finally realized that they could move and she ran to him. She was suddenly and mindlessly the happiest girl in creation.

"I've been waitin' here since yestadee-ee," she screamed again, running and stumbling over the uneven ground, her tears of joy blinding her as she ran, forcing her to slow down to a stumbling walk as she tried to wipe her eyes.

He dropped his duffle bag and reached for her as she stumbled, catching her as she tripped, pulling her roughly into his arms. They laughed, and he grabbed her below the waist, around her -- ahem -- tush, and pulled her up off her feet, with a sudden rush of newfound strength, onto his body. That in itself was no mean feat, because she was a "pleasingly plump" little girl. He hadn't realized how much strength he'd gained in his daily work-outs, but it felt good to be able to do that. He pressed her tightly to him, hugging her, her feet off the ground as he spun her dizzingly. She joyfully screamed out his name again and again, as he held her tightly to him and continued spinning around and around until he, too, was dizzy and they both fell to the cool grass, laughing together.

"You home, Charlie? Or you gotta go back?" she raised up on her elbow and grabbed his face, laying her soft lips against his before he could answer.

"Uh -- " he tried again, but again she interrupted him with her lips. She didn't want to hear his answer, she already knew what it was.

"I don't care," she whispered breathlessly, "I don't care 'bout nothin' right now, 'ceptin' you's here with me, right now my sweet Charlie," she wiped the lipstick off his lips. She never wore makeup, but today was special and since he loved it when she wore the red lipstick, she'd put it on.

She kissed him again and again, trying to smother his face with her mouth, tasting his sweaty face, feeling the rough stubble of the two-day's growth on his face, tasting the flavor of the boloney and cheese on his tongue, smelling the Dentyne on his breath.

"I luv yew, Charlie Withers," she whispered into his ear as she bent and nibbled on it.

"I luv you, too, baby," he pulled her mouth to his.

After a while she asked him what had took him so long, that she'd been ready to give him up 'cause she thought that he'd found another girl or maybe he'd got hurt and was laying in a hospital somewhere with amnesia and unable to remember anything. He laughed at her dramatics and told her about the long bus ride home, as they relaxed on the grass.

It had been a two-day bus ride from Ft. Benning because the bus had broke down and they'd had to wait while the driver hitch-hiked to the nearest town and called for help and another bus. That had eaten up 'most twelve hours.

Cassandra couldn't keep her hands to herself, running her fingers around his chin, scratching at his stubble while he talked, staring adoringly at him and into his eyes, memorizing his face, and his voice which was rambling on about something or other. She heard nothing but his wonderful voice, the voice she so loved, her thumping heart not letting her understand anything else. He could have been talking about the mating habits of the humboldt squid, whatever that was, for all she cared, she had him here and now, and whatever he wanted she was ready to give him. He had stopped talking a while ago and they lay on the grass for a few minutes saying nothing, just enjoying being together.

"You didn't hear a thing I said did you?" he grinned touching his lips to the side of her face.

"Wh-what?" she arched her neck to let him sugar her chin, then she turned and hugged his neck hard, "you're home, baby," she thrilled.

"Guess not," he laughed wrapping his arms around her curvaceously ample waist.

"Um-mm?" she asked again.

"Nothing," he laughed, "are the folks at home?" he sat up and she quickly slid into his lap.

She was a chubby little girl, no doubt about it, five-two or so, with an apple-cheeked peaches and cream complexion. She was very pretty, with a high baby voice that he loved in spite of her tendency to shriek and scream when excited. Maybe that's what he loved about her, either way he intended to marry her before he left for San Diego en route to Viet Nam.

"Your daddy's home," she unbuttoned the middle two buttons of his dress green tunic and ran her hand in, rubbing his shirted chest, "he says he's taking a week's worth of vacation from the plant," she smiled up at him as she tried to unbutton the shirt underneath. He glanced down at her working hands and grinned as she continued, "an' he says that he's painting the house. Says that's his vacation job," they both laughed.

"That's my old man," Charlie grinned, "can't even stand to go fishing, because that's just doin' nuttin' while waitin' for the fish to bite."

They sat quietly a few minutes longer, Charlie nuzzling her neck and kissing her as she finally succeeded in undoing one button.

"Am I too heavy on you, Charlie-love?" she had her forehead on his, knowing that she was quite heavy and always worried about it. But, Charlie had picked her up as if she was a baby, she sighed, God he's so wonderful strong.

"Baby," he smiled and kissed her, "you could weigh two tons and you wouldn't be too heavy on me," he tongue kissed her, hugging her fiercely. She had given up on trying to break into his uniform when she found the tee shirt under the shirt.

"I love sittin' on your lap, baby," she ran her lips down the side of his face, "but I know I'm kind'a fat, so don't worry about hurtin' my feelin's by sayin' so, 'cause you won't hurt my feelin's, I just lu-uv you, Charlie my sweetest-heart."

He smiled at her, she was only seventeen after all, and he just turned eighteen a couple of months ago. His parents had had to sign the waivers in order for him to enlist. Meanwhile, he'd gone to Ranger School and Jump School, burning up seven months of service with the training, not including the five months of basic and advanced infantry training. Now according to the Army, he was old enough to get sent to Viet Nam, so now he was out of most of the training, and on the way to a combat outfit. He slipped his dress jacket off with Cassandra's help, and she held it up to her face, smelling the sweaty thing as if it were the most expensive cologne, and carefully folded it across her arm.

Cassandra's parents -- he preferred to call her Cassandra, in spite of her friends calling her Sandi and her parents calling her Chanda -- her parents had said that they'd sign the approval papers so the two of them could get married. Cassandra's father had been a soldier in World War II, so he said that he understood, what with Charlie going off to war and all, and said that he'd gladly give his little girl to him. He joked, and Charlie knew that it secretly hurt Cassandra's feelings, that it would save him some money by keeping the refrigerator door closed. She laughed with everybody else when he joked like that, but Charlie only smiled politely, squirming inside with embarrassment for her as she glanced at him sadly and took his hand in both of hers.

They walked to his home -- his parent's home -- his duffle bag over one shoulder, and the other arm around Cassandra's shoulders. She wound an arm around his waist carrying his tunic in the crook of the other. She sighed happily and leaned her head on the side of his chest.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She'd volunteered for this job, they were running short of Medics and she couldn't bear to stand by as the wounded and damaged bodies came in with only a lick and a promise. Besides, they had an overage of nurses, and the hospital orderlies were laughing at seeing Women Officers doing scut work alongside them. She and her orderly buddy, had egged each other on until they both volunteered to fly with the Medevacs. She knew that with a smidgen more skill, some of the DOA's could be Level Three's and brought in alive. However, she wasn't prepared for the realities of bullets splatting into the bird's hulls and the possibilities of going down in the middle of a firefight. Beyond that, there were the ripped up bodies from close explosions, the missing legs and arms from anti-personnel mines and she thanked God that she wasn't in body recovery, she'd heard stories of picking up half-bodies or severed heads, or just a hand or a foot. This was bad enough, with so many beyond anyone's help but loaded on because they were still alive.

Angel of Mercy, Flight One -- a name a drunken pilot had jokingly bestowed on her chopper, was proudly claimed by the pilots that carried her into the carnage. Her flights became legend, the type of stuff that kicked many a wounded man's morale up, knowing that if he was hurt bad enough, that she'd pick him up and bring him home alive.

She got what she wanted. And what she wanted was the worst of the wounded. The nearly dead and the dying. Her whole world became defined by the magnesium alloy and non-flammable padding of the helicopter's that she rode in on. Flying bullets no longer frightened her. The one that snapped by her head and came within less than an inch of taking her life, was just another buzzing fly trying to lay it's maggots on another, soon to be lifeless, body.

She was a Nurse. Ten million years ago, she'd been a fresh-faced not so innocent college girl studying to be a nurse. All she knew back then was that she wanted to save lives and being a doctor was just too expensive for her and her parents to afford. Nursing seemed the logical step, so now she was here and all she knew was that these young warriors needed her to bring them home alive.

"FOR WHAT?" she had screamed one drunken night in the Officer's Club, "FOR WHAT? To keep them alive so they can go back to kill or die?" she was sobbing and incoherent as she threw the bar-stool into the rack of bottles, "IT'S ALL SO TOTALLY INSANE!," she screamed, "SO TOTALLY FUCKING, GODDAMN INSANE, AND I'M PART AND PARCEL OF THIS GODDAMN FUCKING INSANITY."

The only one to take her down was her orderly, he'd heard her screaming and throwing things in O Club bar and nobody else wanted to face her down. So he'd come in and grabbed her by the waist, she had fallen into his arms sobbing and bewailing the impossibility of saving dead boys.

. . . and what could this boy-soldier, this PFC by his stripes, have been thinking of to be here? She no longer wept for them. Inside her, the milk of sympathy had gone dry an she worked emotionlessly, using her sleeve to wipe off the sweat that streamed like false tears down her face. She no longer wept for their mothers, especially his mother who would soon enough be keening his loss. She worked mechanically without realizing that she wept, her mind literally numbed by the mounds of bodies, her hands doing what was needed automatically, using her mind only when automatic wasn't enough.

"Cassandra," he murmured as the strength ebbed from his bullet-riddled body.

The Nurse fought hard, she was fighting for this boy's life. She had stacked two more compress bandages on top of the ones that were already stacked on his various bullet holes and adjusted the IV's flow as she glanced out of the chopper's side door. The ambulances were all lined up at the tarmac, their back doors open and ready to take the bodies. The chopper heeled over, coming in fast and hard, trading comfort for speed. She changed his IV bag again, he was losing too much blood, the IV was working more against him than for him. Lord in Heaven the boy had so many holes in him, she knew the compression bandages weren't holding. The pilot threw the chopper's nose over and dropped the tail, touching down as gently as a mother settling her baby in his crib. She watched the boy's blood drain onto the slippery deck, unable to do anymore for him, except to pray, so she did that, reciting her most frequent prayer. A prayer that she'd said so many times that it was now just so much rote.