All Comments on 'Castles in the Sky'

Could have been a good story, but the end utterly belied his earlier stated feelings. Story became bullocks in the end.

He is a class 1 fool. No chance in hell would I have a child with her

Wordy but really enjoyed it. Ending felt rushed.

I liked the plot of the tale. Some things to consider.

1. Does the background information add to or distract from the plot and make the reader want to skip to the more interesting parts?

2. (can't have a 1 unless there is a 2) Redundancy how many time do you need to sell a point?

3. Does the plot flow to the conclusion or do you have to go back and explain a part and break the flow of the tale?

All in all it was good and kept me reading till the end but I got board in places. I gave it 4 stars

I've liked all other your stories so far, Grave conversation being my favourite but this is the first story I didnt like. Normally I would have empthay for the cheated spouse but I could find any here with the way he handled it. And all the women, his wife, her lover and Nita were just annoying and unlikable.

Your story shows in an excellently written story why the British nation is going down the drain. The women are and remain whores and the men are wimps who are content to play second fiddle.

If my wife cheats on me with her girlfriend for ten years, she'll have divorce papers sooner than she can think. Clear announcement, clear consequences. Not so the British!!!

I enjoyed this, though it wasn’t totally clear for me what changed James’ mind. I anticipate all of them moving into the two houses. Also, it wasn’t explicitly stated whether Briony’s child was from James. I think so, but I am not sure. 5 stars.

Did not care for this. KS

Interesting, thanks for writing!

Way too long, rambling even, and you definitely have a thing for extremely unattractive female characters and wimpy men. Sorry, not impressed with this at all.

Deep, crazy! At the end, more explanation of how much time spent at each house and how much time his kids spent with Briony. And now he has three women, I assume, with all his kids. Still amazing story! Thanks for sharing your writings.

Excellent.

There is no doubt that you can write, but I just didn’t engage with your characters. Story was a little long when you lose interest in what happens to the characters.

One of the best stories I've ever read here.

I liked the story a lot. It was a little long and took a commitment to stay with it. But I didn’t see how you were going to resolve it, so I did stay with it. There were a few typo’d words; “that” instead of “than” sort of thing, but nothing bothersome.

Sorry but I didn't like the story. Instead of confronting his wife he runs off like a toddler or he could have gotten the spy cameras like suggested and get proof and confront his wife.

James had definite reasons for not wanting children with Louise. While not implausible, how he got to where he changed his mind seemed murky to me and very rushed. It was already 10 pages, an 11th wouldn’t have been so bad. You sure can write. Five stars

Great story - but the ending was rushed. 5🌟

A great story, but the ending is way too rushed. The "solution" shouldn't have been an epilogue, it should have been given the time and attention it deserved. As it stands, it feels less like and ending, and more like you lost interest in the story, and instead of finishing it properly, you simply bundled all the loose threads together and tried to wrap it into something vaguely ending shaped. Its a real shame, because the rest of the story is a truly amazing look at the idea of nonconsential polyamory and what happens when one spouse acts on their unmentioned bisexuality while in an already commited relationship.

This is the second story I've read on Literotica which deals with cheating lesbian wives and in both cases I loved them: it's really not less intense than betrayal of heterosexual wives. As for this story, I did enjoy it! This author hasn't yet disappointed me as he's a very talented writer. I look forward to reading new stories. However, The French Exit is still my favourite. Thank you, Patrickson!

Look my jury is still out on this one. I thought he was being a selfish prick, but after his explanation l understood. The ending though was way too contrived. We never actually got to understand how the dynamic of first and second got to change.

Briony just melted away at certain times and then came back what changed in the overall dynamic, in short nothing.

Briony was still there and in truth still first. Nothing was said to alter that.

The only real change was that he knocked up Briony as well.

In the end he surrendered to the wishes of the three women who wanted no change and got their way at the finish

Scores 3/5, a good story but the ending did not convince me at all.

Terrific story! Well written, engaging --- compelling really --- and emotionally satisfying. There are two parts, however, which I think should have been greatly expanded, as they were frustratingly glossed over. The first is the period of 4 years immediately following the renewal of marriage vows. James has had his fears confirmed, and is both hurt and angry. He is embarking on a new relationship with Nita. How does all that happen, and what emotional transformations does James go through to arrive at having children with Nita and simultaneously continue to love Louise and accept her having a relationship with Briony? Leaving this as an unexplored gap is just a missed opportunity by the author.

The second part that needs expansion is the "epilogue". In fact, calling this an epilogue is, in my view, a cop-out on the part of the author. There is so much left out that it leaves me with a feeling of deep disappointment from what is otherwise a truly excellent story. So much could have been described in detail: the process of engagement from the main characters' families, which must have been difficult for them; the process by which James came to realize that he was ready to --- and actually wanted to? --- have children with Louise; the radical transformation that Briony (and James?) must have experienced, in order to want to bear a child; the question of who fathered Briony's baby and how that actually happened; and the feelings of Nita as she opened her own family to include Louise, Briony and their children (and the grandparents), which must have been challenging at times. What a golden opportunity for some great writing! Sadly, it was missed.

Nonetheless, this is really a fabulous tale, from one of my favorite Literotica authors.

I liked the story until near the end, but the ending completely ruined it from my point of view and was inconsistent with what had just come before it. I see nothing that Louise did that would have convinced the James who was so lacking in trust of her in the earlier conversations that his concerns would be met in the long term, as opposed to just until she had her child or children as he'd raised in his explanation.

10 pages of a stupid MC with no balls, a skanking wife and the prostitute Nita.

More like a cuck and his harem

I like most of your stories. This one I had to scan and read ahead quote a bit. I also didn't particularly like the foundation the foundation of the story. He's ok being a part time dad. He's not ok with having dinner in their life that fills the gap he leaves.

Also, regardless of the vow renewal, he cheated the same way so she did and kept it secret the same... Not quite as long. Worse, he had children with the other woman.

In the balance, I think everyone in the story we're equally scummy. I need to take a short. I feel dirty, and not in a good way.... 🥴

All that said, I read... Or skimmed... The whole story, so.... Not a complete fail right?

Btw, never understood the idea... She cheated with a guy I'll kill him and divorce her. Cheated with a woman... Let me think about that.... Very weird

I thank God i skipped to the last page. More cuck shit where hubby reluctantly engages in a fucked up family dynamic to accommodate his cheating bitch of a wife.

Nearly a great story, but only nearly for me, loved the thought an art you put into writing this, the plot was good and had a lot of thoughtful things going on in it.

The ending was just that bit too sweet, Briony's getting pregnant was so unnecessary to me,

You say you write a different story every time and every time it includes a submissive cuck/gay husband

Well written enough to enjoy the story am sure it would unravel along the way, even though women are more accepting of each other, bit like the head wife and the harem.

I can happily say I've read all of your stories and while I have liked various parts of all of them and some of them quite a lot in their entirety, this one I have to say, fell very flat to me. Primarily I think it's because James not only never really got what he wanted, he made an excellent and cognisant argument against the very ending you wrote for him... yet this was the ending that was given and it's perceived to be a positive one? I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you wanted to sell that ending then you needed to have either a proper rejoinder to James doubts, or at least not have him so eloquently cut your conclusion off at the knees just a mere paragraph or two beforehand.

That was quite a tale. Well thought out and written. A nice change from the usual verbage.

An interesting exploration of relationships here, I liked the setup and the execution of the story, but I'm not sure about the epilogue... or rather, I liked the direction the epilogue was going, but I don't feel like it really answered the question of James' doubts.

Honestly, if his biggest fear was getting screwed over after giving kids, the story element could have been some sort of post-nup or legal agreement that laid out rights regarding the property and the future kids?

Yup, like the comment below from @majorreader24, a post-nup would have gone a long way in cementing their particular arrangement.

Notwithstanding, having read another similar story here on LIT where the wife and her lesbian lover were attempting to cajole the husband into providing the children to then later divorce and receive a constant flow of child support - but they were simply nasty.

GOOD FOOKING STORY... Yes t was too long by about three pages. Personally I don't mind long stories but sometimes they can be a bit cumbersome and this one did not need to be 10 pages long. The character development of all the main characters was actually pretty good which I suppose made the story so long.

The writing is outstanding and the dialogue is very good even if it is rather wordy.

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The four-year Gap after they changed their marriage vows does not make any sense and seems extremely unlikely. I'm glad James got out of that fake marriage but four years before having that really big conversation seems unlikely.

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James refusal to get Louise his so-called wife pregnant came as a real surprise because it looked like the ending of the story was going to move to a point where everybody got what they wanted in some sort of weird Poly family thing. At first James's refusal to get his wife pregnant appeared to be rather self-centered and repulsive. But when he explained where he was coming from and that he knew that if Louisa had children he would be less than a part-time dad… suddenly james' position makes a lot more sense.

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The problem is that James' argument is so strong about why he can't trust Louise and why he will probably be screwed out of being a father to Louisa's kids ..... that the ending doesn't solve that fear/ issue. How does including other people in the expanded family help?. I suppose there is some value in using the expanded family to make sure everybody knows exactly what the relationships are and no one is lying or covering things up or distorting or manipulating secrets. But I am not sure how that solves the problem that James stated on page nine about him being less than a part-time dad

You set up the issues. Suddenly I find myself married to a worthless piece of shit. I don't want to be married to a worthless piece of shit. Obviously very few would. But then, without explanation other than some magical memory and emotion reset switch, the character pivots away from the reader and the majority of humanity not housed in rubber rooms, and for no particular reason becomes OK with being married to a worthless piece of shit, with none of the ancillary issues caused by them being a worthless piecce of shit, being resolved. Now where did we end up? Only the bottom of the barrel morons are now with you in the audience, simply because their attention span cannot reach past the filler sex scene.

What a ridiculous long drawn out piece of shit. So, Louise wanted to get pregnant for years but her husband did not want to knock her up. Now, since he was having sex with her quite often, how did he manage to not impregnate her. I didn't read if he was using condoms when having sex with her. I admit that I skimmed through this redundant boring piece of crap, so I might have missed this seemingly minor issue. What I really can't understand is that someone would actually like this rambling moronic tale. 2/5