All Comments on 'Catch Can Man'

I was very pleased to read a touching story that allowed people to make mistakes and move on with their lives, each having faced up to the consequences of actions and learning to be better people for the experiences.

Thank you for sharing!

Nice to see a story that has some civilized characters, rather than the stock, vengeful lovers' triangle.

... of clean characters and situations. Thanks.

i do like the positive spin of the story. its hard to let go. and even harder to start over. its a story of redemption.

Maybe a little too nice. I liked the characters and the plot well enough, but it just came off feeling...well, almost antiseptic. Maybe it's because most of the heavy emotional baggage was dealt with in flashback that made it lose it's emotional impact for me. Since we, as readers, don't have to deal with Frank's sudden appearance, J.D.'s growing distress over the situation, and the emotional turmoil of her sudden decision to start dating Frank we can't really appreciate the price J.D. paid to get where he is today. I felt like the reader (or at least, this particular reader) needed to be more familiar with what happened to John in Indianapolis in order to relate to the J.D. he became. Thank you for sharing your story with us, I look forward to reading more of your work.

great story. liked it.

Interesting idea, that there is a need to clean out the remains of the old relationship in order to make the new one smooth. Very well drawn characters.

VERY NICE STORY! FANTASTIC WRITING AND GOOD PLOT DEVELOPMENT. THIS IS THE KIND OF WRITING I EXPECT OF YOU!!! KEEP UP THE NICE JOB.

it reads and flows more like a review of a story,since not enough detail(concerning J.D.'s and Robins relationship) is exposed.Would have worked better if it wasn't so obvious from the start that it was totally in the past.Pistolpackinpete

since i am a nascar fan myself i really found this to be a good story.

I would have liked you starting the story back in Indianapolis with Robin; and with more detail. But it was still a very real and nice story of John's moving on. The subtle revenge was John's finding a better woman. It was nice that you did not make Robin a cheating bitch.

Can`t get any better, brilliant story. Keep them coming!

Too many folks write just sex, without really being in touch with the participants. Keep writing.

I anticipated a little more convolution in the two relationships. I love the way yor tell a story and felt that this was a real personal narrative.

I plan to continue reading all of your features.

Thanks

thank you!

A well written tale, but not enough characterization to get the reader really involved with, or rooting for, any of the three characters. Four stars from me.

I am brutal in my assessments. My mama didn't raise any couth in me.

This story lacked all drama by putting the occurances in the past tense. He's alive. He's healthy. He feels a little bad.

This is the difference between seeing a friend dangling from a cliff face to hearing your friend recount his tale three months later about how he was dangling from a cliff face: There is no immediacy of danger and even the way the final conversation between the two was structured essentially telegraphed the story ending. Add mandatory sex scene, tearful 'don't you hurt him like I done' and we have the Disney ending.

That being said: it was well written. But everything felt muted except for the rage of the girlfriend. But even without the Final Conversation, I KNEW she was fine, so why should I worry about her?

You write well. This was a temporal and structural issue.

But where is the meat???

bill

I would have looked for a better name for this story, because Catch Can Man isn't really all that inventive. That said, what I read I enjoyed very much. Thanks for sharing this story with us!

Nice story with essentially nice people - one who was too weak and starry eyed about her past to avoid fucking up her present.

But it looks like a better future is waiting for all of them

Robin screwed up or was screwed over. Allison loved J.D. and lets see what happens.

do you have a follow up story

For me, any chance at reconciliation went out the window when she pooh-poohed his concerns about Frank.

I think if this was in Loving Wives I would have only give it 4, but for Romance I felt it deserved 5.

Robin's willingness to recognize her own responsibility in the failure of their relationship, and to express her love for him by supporting his new love is the ultimate romantic gesture, which is why I gave it 5 stars.

His disrespect for Allison is gonna be an is s ue until he gets counselling for his narcissism. Secret meetings with exes while married to a woman who has been cheated on is neither a key to trust nor healthy marriage .

He isn't married to Allison. He didn't disrespect her.

Just because he didn’t call Allison doesn’t make it a “secret meeting”!

In fact, he immediately went to Allison to tell her about it.

If anything SHE’S at fault for getting mad at him without talking to him, as she herself admits!

You're good but that was, sorry, not much of a story. I've read your other stories, very good. It had a very small bang. I give it a 5....anyway. You are a good writer and I want more of them. Just keep improving....lol

bill

but perhaps a bit too nice! Too perfect --- everybody will eventually be happy! However I can't fault your technique or ability as a writer. Looking forward to more from you. *****

Enjoyed it. The unmentioned blessing for JD is he found out before they got married. Robin loved him, but she never had closure with Frank, making her relationship with JD to be a shallow one.... JD made the right decision with Allison.

good read could use more chapters.

"I took the high road though; I was very kind and gentle with her."

Which unfortunately made the story boring. After the callous way she tossed him aside to start dating the perfect ex, kindness was the last thing she deserved.

It was quite short so there wasn't enough time to flesh out the characters and there wasn't any real drama. Probably the weakest of your otherwise excellent work I've read so far.

Not very exciting or dramatic, but good. I know you have stopped writing here, but if you are writing anywhere I hope you have learned to edit out the irrelevant filler you seem to include without thinking. Where someone sat, where they placed their hand, what they were doing, or were going to do, or were thinking about doing, etc. Just distracting and adding nothing to the meat of the story. Like some of the old Victorian authors who would take two pages to describe a sunset. Maybe its a reflect of our current times, but I can get about a thousand Google images of sunsets, don't need an 800 word description. And I don't care were they set or what they ate or how long they talked, unless that has something to do with the plot. It almost never does.

Thanks for the effort.

Sounds like a waste of time to read it. Jake60 has much better stories than this.

...first of your stories I've read, will definitely read more. Perfect fit for the romance category. Since I used to race myself years ago, I can tell you know what your talking about concerning nascar. Not everyone knows about wedge, and spring spacers etc...I see you haven't posted in a while, so dont know if you'll see this, but I give it 5 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

She found high school is behind and stays behind

i liked like to read the end some time

Sometimes a story doesn't need more than 3 pages written to convey the heart of the story. This one, could have been longer; and it could have had more clarification. Nothing was said by Robin to show her feeling and what was going on in her mind and why she fell for Franks line if she was really in love with John, aka JD. And what about Allison? Her story is not known to the reader. There was very little said about her Ex. I would like to see a follow up story to give, as Paul Harvey use to say, the rest of the story. Maybe a Chapter 02 or a conclusion. Every author gives birth to a story and then shares it with us. He also has the right to limit just how much he shares. I'm sure in his mind he knows the answers to these questions, and it is up to him and only him to answer them. So that said I would like to say. Thanks for the story.

Very good story, reasonable length and still conveying the plot

The line about Allison having to dress conservatively reminded me of Krista Voda. The experienced stick and ball sports reporter started covering NASCAR in the early 2000's. Despite not being a raving beauty, her huge smile and cheerful personality made her a popular racing reporter. It didn't hurt that she was healthily endowed or that she would leave some buttons undone on her blouse (it gets hot in race paddocks in summer). Perverts like us LitRot readers noticed, commented, and posted screenshots online. Alack and alas, she buttoned up.

The maturity of time to heal is strong in the brief but well constructed story. I have had some tangent experience with a former lover showing up for possible reclaiming. It often amazes me WHY fall for a guy who through willful termination, dumps you cold. Somehow the masochistic veil reveals itself...and makes the dumped party stupid... I like the ending and only wish they followed through to some higher level. JD seems like a winner.

I'll never understand the point of wasting time to talk to people who fucked you over. Once you decide to cut them out of your life... fuck them. *

Ok story, but I would not have ended with the girl's conversation. It just seemed to hang there.