All Comments on 'Catering Girl Ch. 04'

I’m enjoying the story but Jennifer’s decision to take a break at the end rubs me the wrong way. She says she wants to be an adult but she decides to run away as opposed to talking with the person she says she loves. Yes, Whitney overstepped majorly but just cutting off contact from her sucks.

I definitely know now that I should have waited till the whole story was up. These cliffhanger ending chapters are slowly killing me. But also keeping me glued to you waiting for any kind of update. Very clever of you by the way. Thank you for sharing your girls and their story with us.

Ouch! Loved the Taylor and Aly cameo! Can't wait to see how you craft us out of the unresolved parts of this, you are doing so well so far. Will Jenn get a happy ending with her mom? Will Whitney learn respect and restraint? Will Jenn ever relax aet her O on? Please don't make us wait too long for the next!

Great character development, each having real issues and not just sex. I loved the “Hero Worship “ reference. Similar writing styles, meaning characters that we develop feelings for. That is not a easy task. I look forward to the next chapter.

What an ending for this chapter. You are so mean to leave us with so much drama before the next chapter :-). Now, I understand why there will be chapters 5 and 6. Please publish them as soon as possible. We cannot leave Wit, Jenn and Madi like this.

You are an amazing writer. Continue the good work. You are now officially part of my Literotica top writer list!!!

Jesus, you broke my heart with that ending. I'm a middle age guy and haven't had any of the experiences of these characters but this stunned me. I mean I saw trouble coming, but it was devastating to both of them. The differences between the haves and the have not's is always fun to play with but always seems to favor the haves as they usually win. Jenny had to be looking at the last few days with a ski trip, stay in a 5 star hotel and then a luxury birthday party as things she could only have dreamed of a couple of months ago. I honestly don't believe Whitney did any of this for any purpose other than trying to make 2 people she really cares for happy. It's just the differences in their life experience which they would have to overcome. I hope you find a believable way to bring them back from the brink.

Cheers

This is turning into one of those stories where the reader can't wait to get to the end but doesn't want it to finish. That probably sounds like a contradiction but I'm sure most avid readers will know exactly what I mean. Another gripping chapter, Ginny, with plenty of drama to get our teeth into. I'd been waiting for the breakdown (even had a rough idea of the cause) and we've certainly got it. A well-described look at the clash between one person's generosity and another person's pride. More soonest, please!

Bawling my eyes out right now.

I feared the differences would come to this, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. So much on Jenn's plate between Whit not considering her feelings and her mom ghosting her. I feel so bad for poor Madi over her Grandma's behavior and how it's going to affect her.

Two wonderful bright points in this chapter, however. Dallas' commitment to and growing relationship with his daughter and a little Hero Worship.

Like Maonaigh, I'd been waiting as well and once again it was worth the wait. Taylor and Ally too, that csught me by surprise. I also saw the friction coming and I'm sure that there is more to come, just dont make us wait for too long

Why, oh why, are you leaving me hanging? Can't wait for the next installment.

It’s hard to accept happiness sometimes. Whitney is used to getting her way, but she shouldn’t let Jenn sabotage their relationship without a fight. Whitney probably has no experience with accepting help (privilege comes effortlessly), but Jenn seems to still believe that wealth and privilege are omnipotent against the challenges of life.

I’m loving this journey. And trusting you won’t break our hearts. 😎

Gosh, the moment we had all been waiting for and you leave us hanging again. Like most others have said the Hero Worship reference fit in fabulously!

I really like that Dallas is the good guy we all need, especially for Madi!

As Maonaigh alluded to I can't wait to get to the end, but I really don't want this story to finish.

Can't wait for the next chapter! Keep up the good writing.

re: @davidlsu1983

She already did that. Jenn has talked with Whit on more than one occasion about her throwing money at everything, as well as her continual surprises. What else is she supposed to do?

You continued your high standard story telling with this chapter. You took us on ride across a whole spectrum of emotion and feeling. We experience Jenn’s mother’s terrible reaction, but then the support from Dallas and the whole, social-status thing, becoming apparent with the ending. I’m more on Whit’s side on this one. Yes, she’s spending the money, but she’s also doing little things such as the scene where she offered to take pics of Jenn, Dallas and Mads. Of course I’m very curious about where the relationship goes from here, but also what lies ahead for Jenn on the job front. Seems like she made quite the impression on Sal. Really enjoying the characters and this story, hope you don’t leave us on this cliff too long. Cheers!

Goddamit I've been dreading this. sigh.

Well done, as always.

Another compelling chapter. I’m liking the character development with all the characters in the story. Looking forward to the next chapters… hopefully soon!

Happy ending pleaseeeeeeee!

What a great chapter! It’s so difficult to introduce conflict that doesn’t feel contrived or disingenuous and you’ve done it seamlessly and completely in keeping with your two character’s personalities. Aly and Taylor went through some similar struggles, so I know they’re rooting for these two to work things out. So am I! My brittle heart couldn’t take anything but a ‘Happily ever after’!

Great story number one. Money is the greatest source of problems in relationships. Would have missed the Taylor and Aly piece except just finished their story Great to see collaboration in stories. I have my own ideas how to fix things but that isnt you’re goal. Make the reader guess the ending . Money problems can be fixed and jens personal issues can too. Im sure you know the answers. Awaiting the next chapter Great write

The twists and turns are well laid out. I was ready for the other grandparents to come by and raise a fuss and then the father, but it was the one Jenn thought would be OK. How like life itself. Then the pride, Whitney and Jenn both need to find a way to honor that pride while still moving forward. We trust that you will help them find that mix.

Started very well, now getting formulaic, Mills and Boon forever:-(

you are doing a great job i cant wait for the next chapter so much could happen be well safe a fan shayne

This is far and away the best piece of writing I've seen on here, or indeed almost anywhere else. The characters and the plot all develop wonderfully. I've read these 4 chapters with hardly being able to put my phone aside for other essentials.

And I've been dreading what has now happened. Does Whitney have the strength of character to see and act on the changes she needs to make?

Hell of a rollercoaster ride but waiting with anticipation for the next episode , thank you for a great story….

Oh no! The ending left me in tears. Another perfectly written story. I love all of your work so far. This is slowly replacing Nanny Sarah as my favorite. I’m so excited for the next chapters. VERY WELL DONE!!

How can you leave us hanging like that? Please post the next chapter ASAP! Love the story - but ending on such a sad note is difficult to bear...

I suspect that we all anticipated the painful scene at the end of this chapter — after all that was your intention as you crafted this remarkably poignant love story. I was so tempted while on page one of this chapter to reach for the end. So captivated by your storyline, the real, 3-dimensional characters you are creating and the often touching, sensual moments left to our imagination not to mention connections to JCMcNeilly’s Hero Worship. I did find the pace at which Dallas returns to Jennifer’s and Madison’s life less than entirely real. Looking forward with impatience. Love your writing/imagination.

5 stars because I love these characters and their story so far, but am upset with the ending of this chapter.... Tears being shed

I really wasn't expecting this. Do you think Jennifer is so upset over Whitney and about her mom's tirade that she will try again with Dallas to "prove" herself.

To say Whitney messed up would be a colossal understatement. Hopefully the love they have can help them work through it. I really feel sorry for Jen with both her mom’s reaction and Whitney not listening to her.

Whitney did overstep a bit and it's not just the spending. She basically hip checked Jenn, took over the party and finds herself outside looking in. She doesn't seem aware that she is running the risk that Jenn could reevaluate her relationship with Dallas. So the question becomes which side of the fence is Jenn truly on? Throw in the fact that she is unable to orgasm to Whitney's best efforts so far. It's a challenging dilemma. Ginny I have a feeling you have a good idea how it should resolve but it's not necessarily a done deal. Have fun finishing the final three chapters. I for one will stick around hoping for Jennifer, Whitney and Madi to become a true family

I feel like this is a good excuse for Jenn to go back to her husband. Honestly, don't see anything wrong to be helped when you are loved. Whitney is helping Jenn but also her kid, she loves them both. Dallas ot her mom were not the people who helped her. Withney has been left before and that was painful. Despite knowing that, Jenn is doing that to her ... not sure I like that Jenn character really. Feels very immature kind of. She doesn't understand that when someone loves you they try to give. Maybe I am more like Whitney and that is why I don't uderstand Jenn. Whitney also feels like a very needy person too. And sex doesn't work too. Have a feeling that will never work between them. It is not like between Aly and Taylor.

Very well developed story so far. Every character is "meaty", even for supporting roles like Ben and Edith and the Captain. Looking forward to more chapters.

Sad to see what a hateful, selfish witch Jennifer is at heart. Madison and Whitney both deserve so much better. If Jennifer has the good sense to reach out to Taylor, maybe she can help her overcome her hate and accept the love of a rich woman.

Interesting Chapter!

Most comments seemed to be negatively directed at Whit, however I see it differently. Their implication seems to be that since Whit has the "money," she automatically must make all of the sacrifices in their relationship. Whit cannot be herself, and yet Jenny is "allowed" that luxury. If they are to survive as a couple, there needs to be equal acknowledgement of the financially different situation between them, which is "massive🎉." Whit will have a miserable life with Jenny, if she can never surprise her, because Jenny "hates" surprises. Whit can never be spontaneous without wondering if this will set Jenny off again. She has explained that 1-of her ways in shoeing love is buying gifts for them, however she certainly has not flung money around in their budding relationship as if it were confetti.

Whit is currently in a "no win situation," with Jenny being childish on many fronts. She is a Mom and knows the 4-year old's have motor mouths. Yet, she talked openly with Madison about loving Whit and kissing her in Maddy's presence, however was stunned with Maddy's blurting this out to her grandmother.

Everything seem to annoy Jenny, which appears to mostly be defined by her own insecurity and then rushing to blame Whit. It is chapter 4-now and Jenny needs to accept the fact that she is dating a wealthy woman who loves her, and is not the least bit concerned about her previous poverty or homelessness. My mom often said I was my worst enemy when I frustrated her and I feel that Jenny is her own worst enemy in the situation.

She previously found fault in Dallas with not sufficiently supporting Maddy, now he is a really great father. However, given time Jenny will find again fault with some action of his with Maddy and he will return to the out-house.

Whitney may have fallen in love with 2-troubled females in Heather / Jenny, therefore she needs to decide if there is a possible future for their relationship during Jenny's request for a break. The relationship seems to be one continuous conflict, with an occasional happy few days. Who wants to live on a roller coaster during their entire relationship, which seems to be happening now. I was actually surprised at the speed of Jenny's needing a break decision ending this chapter. It was Valentine's week and Maddy's B'day and a time for celebration versus despair.

Although this is definitely a 5*-Star Rated Chapter, It seems that each new chapter is based more on "conflict versus love-💖," and does not bode well for Jen-Whit-Maddy's future as a family.

There are always going to be bumps in a relationship. Figuring them out is what makes or breaks a relationship. I am on tenterhooks waiting to see if they work it out or not. Sometimes they don't. That's what makes a great story.

.

I'm with CK. Considering all the changes and traumatic events surrounding Whit and Jenn's relationship, something was bound to trigger a major point of contention requiring a period of separation and reflection. Ultimately there is just to much to gain and too much to lose for the ladies to give up on each other. Love wins in the end, and I'm guessing munchkin will play a significant role in mommy's and Miss Whitney's reconciliation. We shall see.

I am so glad I followed BrokenSpokes to check this story out. It is amazing! I am excited for the next chapter. Thank you for writing and sharing this.

Wow. What happens next?

Sorry, but Billyslate is spot on with each point made. Bottom line, Whitney is in a no win situation.

I agree with @Billyslate and @Holli64. Jen has increasingly become an unsympathetic character. Love the story so far. I'm waiting to see how this mess gets sorted out.

Some great comments here which I largely agree with. It's difficult to write a gripping story if nothing goes wrong so obviously the drama rears it's ugly head too often. Filters need to be reset for their relationship to work - Whit needs to dial back on her generosity and learn to listen and take account of Jenn 's felings but Jenn needs to dial up and become more receptive. I'm sure this will happen ultimately but what further dramas they go through before then is another matter and will it be the final of these dramas that brings then together finally. If not you've got one disappointed reader on your hands.

A thoroughly deserved 5 stars from one very happy reader. Hope to read the next one very soon!!!

I like this story a lot, and it describes a complicated relationship (as real relationships are) but I want to throw in my two cents on the Jenn/Whit dynamic.

Obviously people have different takes on the relationship, which means Ginny has done a good job of writing different aspects of people who many people relate to in a different ways. That’s the mark of a good, complex story. However in regards to whether Jenn or Whit are in the right here (this takes on the flavor of an AITA Reddit post) Jenn specifically tells Whit she wants to pay for her own car repair, and Whit tries to sneak her card in and pay anyway after being told not to. Then Whit plans and executes an elaborate (and expensive) birthday party for Jenn’s little one without telling or asking for permission from Jenn. These are both huge violations of Jenn’s established boundaries AFTER Jenn has set them.

Were I Jenn, I would find those to be huge red flags for a relationship and I’m not sure my response would be to “take a break”, so much as “we should see other people.”

This has been my two cents.

you don't string us along and then end your story like this!!! Billy slate is right on. Jen should grow up and be glad some one love her and Mandie

With all the other comments I am adding my 2 cents. I have to agree with BrokenSpokes. A relationship is a two way street. Although Whit wants to do these things Jenn has made her position clear and Whit went against Jenn's wishes.

This is the 2nd time I have recently found myself commenting on an, as yet unfinished story.

Since everyone else is in "my two cents" mode, I must put in mine (although its two pence rather than cents).

Jennifer has not only made it clear that she has a real need to prove to herself she can cope as well as she is able, AND to show Whitney that she is not with her for her money , an important fact which seems to have bypassed some of the complainers.

Not only that, but her new relationship has already cost her the one with her mother.

Now her mother may not be the best one on the planet, but she is still her mother.

I can actually see where Jennifer feels like her life is spinning out of control.

How many "poor" people would be able to make such a huge adjustment in such a compressed time frame?

More especially when they have a four year old who it seems is more and more enamoured, both with Whitney as a person and the lifestyle (skiing, ice skating, fancy birthday party, Whitneys large home and her "own" bedroom, at Madsons age those changes are HUGE.

Going from literally nothing to almost millionaire status so quickly would be daunting for most.

A great story and like so many others I am eagerly waiting for the next part.

Excellent story telling. Looking forward to the next chapter.

I think both girls need to try and understand the issue from the others perspective. There is a vast difference between them, and they will have to adjust and meet in the middle.

Growing up is hard to do.....both need to grow.

Jenn is hurting, deeply, from her Mums rejection, and i feel she is over reacting with Whit. But people who are scared and in pain will strike out at the ones they love the most.

Now Whit will have fear and pain as well, remember she is losing both of them.

Lets get the next chapter posted so love can flourish again.....

You had a five or even a ten until the last paragraph. I understand Jennifer as I am the male version of her. I screw up every thing good that has happened to me. Please don't break them up!

Oh my gods I love this world building..

The Rotors, Aly and Taylor,.

Linking these together has made my day (and I'm reading this at 08.30)

Omg mega double take at the Taylor and Aly part!! Such an Easter egg! I love the whole vibe with characters who feel very real with insecurities and challenges and real life inconveniences. On to the next chapter!!

The expected downer has happened, so now we can get on to the happy ending? Liked seeing Aly and Taylor again.

A cleft is a cleft in different meanings and different point of view ...... Whats fab for one can be troublesome or hurt for the other ........ In the end the Madison party was just an expression of pure love to her and nothing doesn't matter in that sence just love ...... But money matters as always nowadays and the human greed is exploding

I usually wait to comment until the author has led me to the end of her/his story. I am totally engaged with Jennifer, Whitney, even Dallas, and especially Madison. You have constructed your narrative masterfully; you have given us all the elements leading up to and coalescing into this cliffhanger crisis. I'm giving this interim report just to express my appreciation that you have so generously placed your delightful story in the JCMcNeilly universe that Aly and Taylor occupy and that JCMcNeilly has so graciously given you the requisite passport. Your selflessness coupled with her graciousness warms my heart.

GaiusPetronius said it perfect. This is great, and it was awesome seeing Taylor and Aly again. :)

Loving this. Does require a suspension of disbelief [Whit would have to be either much more stupid or actually manipulative (as per brokenspokes' 'red flags' comment) than would be credible if she was a real person (based on how she's been characterised so far) for her actions here to make sense] but it's so well written and such a ride that I'm happy to go with the flow. Also love the cameo!

Seeing Taylor and Aly then Pacifica was a nice suprise. Thank you 5*

Oh the lesbian drama! Sounds like college.

Deep breath, head down, next chapter.

I loved the cameo from Alyssa and Taylor. I didn't catch on until you started talking about Pacifica, but then I was thrilled to see them. But damn, the last page or so has me all keyed up. I've been waiting, worried about what was going to happen when they finally had a big fight.

Yep, I think Texas is calling Jenn, she wants to go back to Dallas. Whitney is going to be left high and dry again. Money just can't buy everything not even love. Jenn can't get an orgasm because she's not a lesbian, she needs a stiff one from a real man that she seems to be falling for again. As we say in Hawai'i, Aloha, goodbye Whitney, it's been nice knowing you but that strap-on just don't do it for me, love Jenn. Sad story for a naive spoiled rich girl.

Whit's lucky she didn't get a kick in the seat of her pants.

Now, the Cameo of the Protagonists from JCMcNeilly's Story "Hero Worship" was...one hell of a pleasant surprise and pretty cool.

This is my second lap time around this story, but it’s lost nothing in the rereading, it’s still soft and hard in places and carries us along with the characters as they fall in love but still hit bumps in the road as they go, and I still love it just as much as I did when I read it for the first time. Many thanks for writing and posting, cheers Ppfzz.

Another cameo — this time Taylor & Aly from Hero Worship 🥹

Classically a great passionate story (epic narrative?)

will have a great conflict that challenges the characters of the lovers. (As in a make or break apart situation...)

What is the resolution or dissolution?

Kudos to sensitive author.

I am so here for the literotica lesbian expanded universe

Book! 😢😢😱 Definitely not what I thought I may be reading in this chapter of your amazing story. Instead of having a smile on my face when I finished this chapter I actually had a tear in my eye. I sure hope that this isn't the prelude of how the story ends.

Even with familiarity this episode comes as a deep shock.