Catherine Ch. 03

"Bob! I was not..., ah..., not..., kissing..., and..., I don't whimper; much." Her trying to sound serious. And my laughing hard out loud at her stumbling over her words,

Okay, Catherine..., I know what I felt and what I heard!

"Well, I guess it's what ever you think!" She says. "But seriously Bob, and back to what I was saying. And..., just maybe because of what YOU think I did THEN. An maybe, because of what I said about liking you so much. Along with knowing you're going to be trouble for me...,

Catherine, my jumping in now. I asked you about this trouble thing, and I told you too, I don't want be in any way trouble for you!

"Leave it a lone Bob, I said! Okay?! Shutting me down on that one.

Sure..., I'm sorry

Bob..., this thing I was doing earlier I hope won't change any..., Bob..., I don't want it to..., change; damn it! What I'm trying to say is..., Bob, you need to know something important about me. And I have to know how you really feel about it." Its her stumbling with what she's trying to say.

Feel about what Catherine?

"Bob, first let me say this, there are things about me..., I don't feel the need to tell everybody. It's just things that go to..., activities I'm involved with..., people like what I was..., It's nothing bad, just a part of me I do with close friends.

Okay, so saying that Catherine..., what ever you tell me, stays with me!

"Bob.., I hope you know what I'm trying to say?" her asking.

Alright Catherine, you're going to tell me something like..., are you trying to tell me you're a les...?

"No Bob, I'm not..., strictly lesbian!" Is her interrupting.

"Bob it's..., I'm..., Bob, I'm very Bi. So I love having sex with women! Which is something I've loved doing, and where I've been having sex with girls, and women since I was fourteen years old. And Bob, I don't have any intentions of stopping either! I like women, and women like me too. Truthfully, and only up to a few years ago, it's been my main sexual outlet. So I've been with lots of women. And, now that I've said that, I need to know how you feel about what I just told you?" Her very frank confession?

Another period of silence as I try to wrap my ahead around what I already knew; plus what I didn't know. So, how to tell her about the first part; or even if I should? When its hearing, "Bob..., are you still there?" Catherine asking.

Yes Catherine I'm still here. I'm just..., I'm.., surprised that you're so honest, and how open you are with telling me that. So now, how do I feel about it? I guess I need to tell you something first, then maybe you'll know better how I feel.

Catherine..., when I called you earlier and thought you sounded out of breath. Where I asked if you were..., you were working out. Catherine.., I new you were with someone.

"What? How cou...,?" Her surprised at hearing what I just said.

Because Catherine..., before I could move my phone away from my ear I heard that other woman talking to you; I heard everything! Catherine? I guess you thought I had hung up but I didn't until something you did caused the call to drop.

Where I hear Catherine trying to cover up a nervous..., what? Her startled, sharp intake gasp for air? Is followed with more silence.

Catherine? I'm sorry I eased dropped. It's just that...

"No Bob, I didn't know you hadn't hung up." She interrupts. "I just dropped the phone on the bed. I guess the call dropped because I remember rolling over on my phone, so I had to move it. As far as the ease dropping? Well, it doesn't matter now; huh?" she says.

Maybe? But Catherine..., I'll tell you something else too. I was surprised as all hell! But I was also very turned on by it, and..., I had a..., well I had a..., I got..., there was something I couldn't ignore. Shit, I can't say this!

"Now its Catherine who's laughing at me as she's asking, "What, can't, you, say..., Bob?" Her stretching out those five words.

Catherine, I have to laugh about it too because..., well..., hearing what you were doing. Plus knowing you're married, which made what I was hearing even more exciting. Plus..., hearing that other woman saying she was married too. It..,. had me thinking how damn hot that was knowing this beautiful married woman, you, was having sex with this other married woman. And...,what happened on the train between us. Well.., my over loaded, and very over heated imagination was running rampant. And my usually strong self control went flying..., out the window.

Better yet, out the head of my dick and all over me. But I can't say that.

Where now the words come streaming out of my mouth like machine gun bullets, Catherine, it gave me a hard-on so bad I masturbated imagining you with this other woman. And Catherine, I was wishing the entire time I could have been a fly on the wall in your room!

Good God! She's laughing hysterically! Where I think I can hear it all the way from San Antonio. But is she laughing at me, or is it relief laughter, or a combination of both. So I wait..., and I wait. When at last she settles down, and comes back, out of breath, "Bob, you didn't?" she questions.

Okay Catherine, I said it, I did it. Sheepishly admitting.

"Oh Bob..., you poor man." She says.

Yes! And Catherine, that's not the first time you've had me in that condition. Although I didn't do what I just told you because of where we were.

"Oh really Bob?!" Laughing in her asking.

Yes Catherine. On the train when we were doing..., you know?

"Bob, it's alright to say it now that both our secrets are out. You were masturbating me." Her saying it like it was nothing

Okay Catherine, I was masturbating you. And it ah..., well..., it gave me a hard-on so bad I thought it was going to split open the zipper of my jeans And every time you bumped into me, you pushed me closer to that guy in front of me. Where I was afraid I was going to bang into him and die of embarrassment.

I'm really telling her this?

An what I just said has her laughing again, and just as hard as she was before! Which, has me laughing too. But now it's more at myself because I said what I said about jerking off. But God, how I love hearing her laughter!

At last she comes back on out of breath once more, sniffling and blowing her nose, "Oh Bob! I shouldn't say this."

Say what? my thought.

Waiting for her to continue and when she doesn't, Alright Catherine, so, you shouldn't say what? Asking her now..

Where I hear something. sounding like a heavy sigh, "Bob, if you were here..., I'd give you another hard-on!"

MY GOD! Did she really said that?!

Holy Shit Catherine!

After hearing that its been a very long period of silence, as I run what she just said around, and around in my head. I can't, I don't believe she said that! OH MY GOD! Did she really say that?! Repeating thoughts.

Where at last hearing, "Bob..., Bob!" Her repeating name.

I'm sorry Catherine.., I've been trying to pick myself up off the floor so..., wait a minute, okay?

"Yes." her only reply.

Catherine, and before my common sense can stop my foot from going into my mouth it's out. Catherine, I was in love with you five minutes after we sat down and had that short conversation outside that coffee shop. And after what you just told me about yourself; about being the way you are. I'm more in love with you right now than I thought possible!

"WHAT?!" Comes through the phone like a blast from a canon. Where instantly follows, "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" "What did you just say?! Damn it answer me! Bob..., answer me, DAMN it!" All in rapid succession.

Was all of that in anger? My God Swaggart, you can be a jerk!

"BOB?!"

I'm still here Catherine. Shit! I'm sorry Catherine! I..., I..., just stuck my foot in my mouth and it was difficult prying it back out.

Now more silence, and so thick it would take a chainsaw to cut through it!

Catherine? Catherine please, I really have go now.

"NO Bob, don't hang up!" Her coming back very emphatically.

Catherine, I really have to take a leak, and REALLY bad right now!

"Alright Bob go!" she says. "But don't you dare hang up on me, you hear me?" It's direct, but also soft and calm at the same time.

"Bob?!" Her trying to get my attention.

Yes Catherine I hear you. I'll be back.

Now on my way to bathroom where I'm thinking, what the fuck am I going to do now? This woman has got my head so screwed up since I met her I can't think straight. I guess that's why I just fucked up with her! Yeah Swaggart, you may have really screwed the pooch, and royally!

When coming back into the bedroom, and before I pick up my phone, its first putting my jeans back on. I feel stupid enough without sitting here naked, and waiting to feel my insides being ripped out once again. Okay Swaggart, take a deep breath, pick up the damn phone and remember, it's just like stalking down that alley again; you know, that thing Sally over heard. Knowing that guy is somewhere close and ready to jump out of one of these doorways spraying rounds from his AK at you once again. All that rewinding in my head now.

And now holding the phone in my hand I hear, "Bob, are you back yet? Damn it Bob...ans...," Definitely frustration in her voice.

Yes Catherine, I'm here.

"So what took you so damn long?!" Her words sounding more like a command then an inquiry.

Catherine I told you I had to go, and really bad, Okay? It's what woke me up just before you called. And Catherine, I'm sorry!

"Bob..., we really need to talk!" Sounding serious.

That, Bob..., we really need to talk." Where not knowing it now, I will hear that phrase from her a lot in time yet to come.

No Catherine! I've already said to much! So good night Catherine.

"Bob..., God Damn It! Don't you fucking dare hang up on me!" That is definitely a serious sounding command.

Alright Catherine, now what?

"First of all Bob, did you mean what you said?" she ask.

Said what, Catherine? Trying stretch out the lynching.

"Fuck what! Did you mean what you said?" That's a demand!

Catherine, I told you I was sorry.

"Fuck Sorry Too!" Comes sharply back through the phone. "Did you mean what you said? Or did you just say it thinking it might get me to go to bed with you?" Her inquisition.

Catherine! GOD DAMN IT NO! Enforcing what I tell her next.

I did NOT say that hoping you would go to bed with me. I told you I'm not that kind of guy! Just like you said you're not that kind of woman. I believe you, so please believe me! Now please let me go and we'll just..., part, hopefully still as friends; please?

"No Bob! That's not what I want!" Her sounding serious.

Alright Catherine what the hell do you want? Should I slit my wrist, slit my throat? Hell, I have a forty-five under the mattress here in the bedroom; that would be quicker.

What a stupid fucking thing to say; but it's already out.

"Damn it Swaggart, you knock that fucking shit off right now mister; you hear me?!" Catherine the DI?

"Bob..., do you HEAR ME?!" Catherine, the DI sounding again?

Yes Catherine I hear you. Shit! You have know idea how many times I've heard that. Catherine.., that was barked in my face so many times I almost automatically snapped to attention shouting, Yes Sir! So Catherine, what, do, you, want?

"What do I want? First Bob, I want you to settle down; alright? Her telling me. "Damn it, you've caught me off guard again you shit! An Bob, you keep surprising me! And yes, you've have been a very nice surprise since I first saw you on that train platform. So please be quiet and listen to me." her asking now.

Alright Catherine, I'm listening, and I'm sorry. I was just pissed off at myself for being so..., fucking stupid! I hope I haven't embarrassed you, or put you in an awkward position?

"Bob listen to me! She says. "I'm not embarrassed. Awkward, not in the least! As I said, you've have been such a sweet surprise from the beginning of all of this. I've enjoyed every minute I've been with you as well as our phone calls too. You opened up my eyes to someone very special. For once I've met a man who just wants to talk without bringing up something suggestive with every other word out of his mouth." Her sounding calm but direct.

"And Bob with that I mean, you haven't mentioned another thing about what happened on that train since we had a good laugh about it over lunch until just a few minutes ago. Which tells me you're more interested in me as a person. You talk intelligently, openly, honestly and I love your sense of humor. Plus you have that boyish shyness that makes you so cute. I love that about you too. But I think you also hold back a lot and I wish you wouldn't." Very insightful of her.

Well Catherine, I guess I've lost that shyness thing now, huh?

"Bob, stop it!" Very direct.

"I just wish you would trust me and tell me more about what has been, I guess I'm trying to say, what's happened to you. Other than what you told me about that one incident, you haven't said much about your other experiences. Bob, I've learned guys like you hold back too much because it's so difficult or painful to talk about. Or, you may think what you've done may sound like..., Oh I don't know, maybe boasting or bragging. But don't worry about that with me. I'll tell you if I think you're blowing smoke."

Catherine, I don't..., blow..., smoke!

"Bob, shut up and just listen to me..., please!" her pulling me back in.

Alright Catherine, I'll shut up.

"Now just listen. Bob, I have some very strong feelings for you too. I don't understand it, and I don't know what to do about it."

Is that why I'm trouble Catherine? My breaking in.

"Shut up Swaggart! I told you,we're not going there!"

Shit, fucked up again!

"Damn it, I'm sorry Bob! I didn't mean it to sound like that, my confusion about..."

Sure Catherine, my stupidity.

"Bob..., what little time we've spent together, as I've said, I've loved every minute of it. And these phone calls over the last two weeks I've looked forward to them very much. Heck, there almost like we've been out on dates. So if I didn't hear from you when I think I should have; I've called you. Except for earlier tonight."

Dates Catherine?

"Yes Bob, it seems to feel like that. Except we don't see each other. And I hope that dinner date you offered me is still on?" She ask now.

Catherine, I wouldn't blame you if you told me to go to hell instead of going to dinner with me.

"Bob..., I said stop it!" her scolding me again.

"So Bob, because of what I just said, you have to know this too. Other than my husband, you and two other men are the only ones to have touched me since I've been married. First Bob, I met a man on a business trip. Where we both had a strong attraction for each other. An one night during that trip, things went..., well, more than just pretty far. But just before it went THAT far; I stopped it. And I hurt a perfectly sweet gentle man. And because of that, I've felt so guilty about it. Not necessarily about what happened up to the point of me stopping. I felt guilty about hurting him because I stopped it when; well anyway, I'll say; at the last moment."

"Bob..., please give me a moment. Okay?" She ask.

Of course Catherine, you don't need to say anything..., just..., stop talking if you don't want to go on. And Catherine, honestly, I don't know why you're telling me all of this? I don't need to know any of it. I told you..., shit, how I felt. I hope saying that hasn't made you feel that you need to explain yourself to me.

"Bob, I'm telling you this because of the way I'm feeling about you. Where I'm trying hard to understand it myself. So maybe you'll understand me. Does that make any sense?" her asking.

Catherine..., is that the trouble I'm causing? Asking it with one foot in the mine field holding my breath.

But not hearing any explosion, and pulling my foot back, I don't know myself Catherine? The air easing out of my lungs. What do I know about anything making sense; hell, I've survived three combat tours, with too many close calls, which makes me wonder why I'm still here making sense. Just know that what ever you tell me, stays with me. So, are you okay?

"Yes, thank you!" Her sounding relieved.

"Bob, that man was a perfect gentleman about it and we're still good friends. We talk on the phone now and then, plus exchange emails, you know, just friend type things. But what happened then..., an Bob..., I know he has more feelings for me than I have for him, and not because he's..., That is..., But for me, I want to keep him as a very, very close friend."

Something more in what she was trying to say I think? Where this thought comes to me, Maybe a very good friend with the possibility in the future of, "Let me make it up to you," benefits; lucky friend!

How insightful that will come to be.

"There's also another man Bob. Who's the husband of a very close, very intimate girlfriend."

My thinking now, this is even better, a married guy to?

"Bob, this girlfriend, who I met one weekend through a mutual friend. Where my new girlfriend invited me to her home on a later weekend, where my relationship with her took on a totally different aspect from what I was expecting; because her husband was there too. And later into the night after she and I had been..., well anyway, he was there with us, but, and best describing is, he stayed on the side lines watching us; at first. For me..., at first, it felt strange, but still exciting knowing he was watching his wife and me in what she and I were doing. Bob.., that night opened a whole new world for me, along with discovering, I'm a bit of a exhibitionist; I discovered how much I like to be watched!"

WHAT!? Almost blowing the top of my head off and swallowing I don't know how many gulps of air too.

I think my jaw dropped and bounced three or four times before I could catch it and put it back where it belonged. What the HELL do I say to that? But careful Swaggart what you do say! So..., just shut the fuck up and listen!

"Well..., Bob things soon went much further then just my girlfriend and me." She continues on. "Bob, I liked him, and the things the three of us were doing; a lot! I guess you could say I was seduced by the two of them, and the way it happened..., was probably because I was ready for it to happen; ready for something more." Her confession!

"And..., from then and on up to the present he and I..., well, we've had..., and continue have sex, and often. Much of the time his wife, has been there too..., you know, still the three of us together. But I also see him alone, where she knows it too. And she's perfectly alright with it. In fact, it was she who encouraged me to have and stay in that kind of relationship with him. It's what they call, an open marriage."

"Plus, I also know they have been involved with another man too."

Uh Oh! Explodes in my head.

"This other man...," She goes on. " Was the husbands college room mate the whole four years they roomed in college. Which, I only found that out after I got back from another week end stay, when she called me at work and told me about this other man. Where unknowingly, I was introduced to him on another weekend while we were out to dinner. But I won't go there now, it's..., maybe another time."

Another time!? What time, and about what? But that thought says put too!

"Bob, what I've been saying about them, its all been right for me. My girlfriend and her husband have been the right people and he has been the right man. An since then, as I said, I've had..., well you can imagine; the three of us together at the same time. And Bob, I've seen with them a lot over the last three and half years. The last time I was with him was that Monday we met; so you can imagine; we're very close, and we enjoy our times together very much! And the three of us are very comfortable in what we share."