Cecilia

My name is Cecilia. I'm a member of a small, exclusive community bound together by common rituals and lifestyles. We've been active for hundreds of years. We are present in almost every country of the world but, unlike other close-knit communities, we are not easily identified.

Communities like the Amish, Mennonites and Hittites are easily identified by their penchant of living in communal groups with distinguishable clothing and lifestyles. Those communities frequently draw the attention of non-members of the group, most of it unpleasant. To avoid such ridicule and scorn, we live among the rest of society individually or in small groups.

In our own homes and places of worship, we adopt the dress and strictures of our faith. In public we adopt the dress and habits of the majority. Some who don't understand our reasoning consider us to be less than obedient to our faith by this dual commitment. Within our faith, concealing our true selves from the rest of society is not an act of infidelity but an act of strength and courage, protecting ourselves and our faith from external attacks that could destroy our society.

We adhere to many strictures imposed to protect and grow our community, one of which is we are obliged to have many children and raise them in the faith. To accomplish this, we are encouraged to marry early and within the faith. Most everyone agrees with this convention and marriages are celebrated and revered within the society.

However, this penchant to marry and procreate within the faith has an unfortunate consequence, one not spoken about between members of the community but recognized by all. We are limited numbers and, by definition, we have a small genetic pool to pass on to our children. Genetic inbreeding is well known to create problems in subsequent generations as evidenced by the royal families of many countries.

While not spoken about or included in the documents of the faith, it is a problem that needs to be addressed and addressing the problem is strictly the responsibility of the women. The reason is obvious. A child born of the union between a faithful man and a woman outside the community will not be born into the community, while a woman pregnant with the child of an outsider will birth the child within the community and be raised consistent with the faith. It is believed that if every woman bears at least one child conceived outside the community it is sufficient to fortify the gene pool.

In keeping with conventions of the faith, I was married to Jacob when I was sixteen years old and Jacob was seventeen. Two years later we welcomed Rebecca into our household and community. Soon after Rebecca's birth, I was approached by two of the women elders of the faith. They took me to a private place and educated me on the dangers of a limited gene pool. They informed me of the process necessary to mitigate the problem and my responsibility to the community to conceive a child from someone outside the faith.

I was appalled at the suggestion from these women. I was committed to Jacob and faithfulness to him was paramount in my mind. The suggestion that I would have sex with another man and bear his child was a violation of my wedding vows and an act against God.

The women were very patient with me. They explained that without the commitment of the women, our community would have perished long ago. They explained that rather than an act against God, my action was blessed by God as a devotion to him necessary for the preservation of a group of his chosen people.

When I reiterated my concern over my commitment to Jacob, they explained that, while he would never speak about it, Jacob was aware of the issue and would raise all my children as if they were his own, never knowing if any of them were conceived through my devotion to my faith and God. They also emphasized that the children should never know the origins of their conception either.

In the end, they convinced me that I had a social and moral duty to conceive a child by someone outside the faith. "Trust us," they said as they left. "You'll never regret it."

Convinced that I had to proceed, I needed to identify a suitable candidate. The two women were unable to help me. I needed to find someone that presented a reasonable genetic profile and who I was willing to have sex with. Their only suggestion was that, since I was free to mingle among the wider community, I had the ability to select someone of good appearance, good health, strong of body and character and of superior intelligence.

I was working at the local community college and attending classes there. It occurred to me that one of the young professors would be an ideal choice. Thomas, who taught advanced physics and led the local chapter of Mensa quickly, became a top candidate for me. I memorized his schedule and managed to join him at lunch in the cafeteria one day when he was sitting alone at a table. After a stimulating conversation where I learned that he read extensively and worked out in the gym four days a week, I determined to make Thomas the father of my next child.

I arranged my schedule so that I "bumped" into Thomas more frequently and, over the next three months we became friends. One day at lunch, I got the courage to ask him if we could talk later about a personal matter to me. He agreed to meet me at five in the physics lab since it would be empty then.

In the lab, I explained that what I had to share was very personal and requested his commitment to honor that and share what I had to say with no one. He agreed. I explained the nature of my faith and the issue surrounding procreation with a limited gene pool. I asked if he would be willing to assist me.

"You want me to have sex with you?" Thomas asked.

"No, and yes," I equivocated. "No in the sense of prolonged sex with foreplay leading eventually to intercourse. Yes, in that I want you to donate your sperm for a good cause and actual sex is the best way to accomplish that," I explained.

"I see," Thomas said considering my offer. "When would you like to do this?" he asked.

"You're willing?" I asked.

"I am," he confirmed to my relief.

"The best time would be at the peak of my fertility during the month," I told him.

"When would that be?" he asked.

"Next Thursday," I said.

"So soon?" he asked.

"If not then, then twenty-eight days later," I explained.

"How do you think we can manage?" he asked.

"I'll get a motel room over lunch, if that's okay with you," I suggested.

"Let me get the room and we should plan for a long lunch," he offered.

"It shouldn't take that long," I countered.

"You never know. Best to plan for the time and not need it," he told me.

"Okay," I said.

"Okay," he echoed. "Meet me in back of the physics building at noon on Thursday," he suggested.

"Thank you," I said.

"No need to thank me. Thank you for choosing me."

On Thursday, I met Thomas behind the physics building. He was waiting in his car for me. When he saw me exit the building, he got out of the car and waited for me. "You should move your car," he said.

I didn't immediately understand his reasoning.

"You don't want anyone to notice that you're not here but your car is," he explained.

"Where should I take it?" I asked.

"I'll meet you in the Wal-Mart parking lot," he suggested.

I walked to my car and drove to the Wal-Mart two miles down the highway. Thomas was waiting for me. I parked my car and walked over to his car. He waited outside his car and held the passenger door for me. Conversation on the way to the motel was awkward. The motel turned out to be the eighteen story Hilton downtown. Thomas pulled up to the front of the building, a valet held the door for me and Thomas tossed him the keys.

Inside, Thomas led me directly to the elevator. "This is not quite what I imagined," I told him.

"Too public?" he asked.

"Way too public," I affirmed.

"Don't worry. Nobody noticed and nobody cares. We're just another couple of the hundreds they see every day. Strangers in a strange land. Hiding in plain sight," he insisted.

Still nervous about what we planned and now more nervous than ever, I followed Thomas to room 1244. I realized in that moment I would remember that room number for the rest of my life. Thomas held the door for me and I walked in. The room was large, with a huge picture window with a view of the lake, a comfortable looking sofa across the room from the largest television I'd ever seen and a bed even larger.

Thomas closed the door and engaged the privacy latch. I stood, frozen in the center of the room. He walked up to me and brushed my hair from the side of my face with his fingers. The first time he had touched me. I was surprised by his touch and my reaction to it. A sudden warmth spread from his fingers throughout my body and settled in my genitals.

"How do you want to go about this?" Thomas asked.

"I thought I could lift my skirt, you could unzip your pants and we could manage it without much ceremony," I confessed.

"You want to leave here pregnant?" Thomas asked.

"I do," I responded.

"Then you want my best effort," he asserted.

"I do," I repeated.

"Then naked is a requirement," he stated.

"You want me naked?" I asked somewhat incredulously.

"I want both of us naked," he answered.

I was speechless. This wasn't what I had planned at all. While I was pondering my response, Thomas was turning down the bed.

"Naked on the bed?" I asked.

"That's where I do my best effort," Thomas said.

"This is a business arrangement, not an assignation," I stated.

"Every successful business meeting starts with drinks and nibbles," he told me.

What was I to do? I had set everything in motion and I had lost control. I wanted Thomas to get me pregnant. I was here, in a hotel room with him and, it seemed, that if I wanted to get pregnant, I would have to do it his way. Nervous hardly described my emotions. Fear and anticipation were much better descriptions.

While I was thinking, Thomas walked in front of me and reached for the buttons on my blouse. "Would you like some help?" he asked.

"No. I can manage," I said while wondering how it would feel if he undressed me.

Thomas began to unbutton his shirt. Hesitantly, I unbuttoned my blouse. Thomas removed his shirt and hung it on the back of a nearby chair. His bare chest had a modest amount of hair and well-developed pectorals. A wave of warmth spread throughout my body. I removed my blouse and laid it on top of his on the chair. I stood in front of him in my simple white bra.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful?" Thomas asked.

I didn't know how to answer him. He was correct. No one had ever told me I was beautiful. Beauty was not a fundamental ideal of my faith. Instead, I reached up behind my back to unhook my bra.

"Let me do that," said Thomas.

Obediently, I turned around. Thomas used two hands to release my bra. I shrugged my shoulders and my bra fell forward into my hands. Thomas put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around. A second wave of warmth rushed throughout my body.

I stood in front of him with my breasts exposed to his gaze and my bra in my hands. "Let me have that," he said. He took my bra from me and tossed it on the chair with our shirts. I had never been exposed like that in front of any man, even Jacob. The hungry look in Thomas' eyes raised the temperature of the warmth spreading throughout my body.

"You are incredible," Thomas said.

"You're not so bad yourself," I managed to say.

Thomas' broad smile fortified my courage. While I watched, Thomas kicked off his shoes and casually removed his trousers. I missed where his trousers went. My focus was on his body wearing just a pair of blue briefs and black socks.

Thomas waited. A moment later, I broke my concentration on his body, realizing it was my turn. Slowly, I turned my skirt so that the button and zipper was in the front. I slipped the button open, undid the zipper and let the skirt fall around my ankles. Thomas knelt and held my skirt as I stepped out of it. I noticed my skirt landed on top of his trousers on the floor next to the chair. He removed my shoes and tossed them aside.

We stood facing each other, I in my half-slip and he in his tight underwear and socks. I smiled. "Why the smile?" asked Thomas.

"The black socks look kind of ridiculous," I said.

He looked at his feet. "You're right," he said.

He put a hand on my bare shoulder for balance and removed his socks one at a time. He stood in front of me again. "My turn," I thought.

It took every bit of courage I had but I put my fingers in the sides of the waist of my slip and moved it down over my hips and let it fall to the floor.

"No panties?" asked Thomas.

"I expected this to evolve differently and I thought it would be more convenient without them," I struggled to tell him.

I was totally naked in front of a man for the first time in my life.

"You are beautiful," Thomas said. He reached for my cheeks, pulled me toward him and kissed me. His kiss surprised me but my reaction surprised me more. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him back. I'd never shared a kiss quite like that kiss. It was a kiss full of promise.

"Are you okay?" asked Thomas.

"I'm getting better," I told him. "It's your turn," I added.

Thomas looked at his hips and laughed. "I almost forgot," he said.

I waited while he removed his brief underwear. He pushed them down his legs, stepped out of them and tossed them behind me. He was already erect. He was a good size. I didn't know if he was large or small. I had no basis for comparison. I'd never seen Jacob erect. I had felt Jacob inside me many times but the modesty demanded by our faith prevented me from seeing him naked.

Thomas led me to the bed and helped me sit on the edge. He gave me my phone. "Call your office and tell them your car stopped and you don't know why. You've called for help and you'll be back into the office as soon as you take care of the car and get a ride to work," he said.

I trusted his judgment and made the call. When I hung up, he took the phone and helped me lie in the center of the bed. He positioned himself between my legs.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Shush," Tomas said.

Thomas began to kiss my hip bones. I can't explain the feeling that began to overwhelm me as he kissed lower. I lay tense as Thomas ran his fingers through my pubic hair until he found the hard button at the top of and between my labia. My body lurched as he touched me there.

"Shush," he repeated. "Try to relax. Close your eyes and let your mind float free," he suggested.

I gasped when he touched my clitoris with his tongue. "Oh my God." I took the name of God in vain.

"Are you okay?" asked Thomas.

"Y y yes," I stuttered. "Don't stop."

Thomas took my hard button between his lips and sucked on it gently. The pain was exquisite. It wasn't really pain. Every nerve was responding. Some of them radiated pain. Most of them radiated pleasure. Pleasure beyond anything I'd ever experienced. It filled my body. It overwhelmed my soul. Every cell in my body was balanced between pain and pleasure. I wanted it and I didn't know if I could withstand it but I didn't want it to stop. I closed my eyes and tried to relax into the feelings.

I thought I could stand no more until Thomas slipped two fingers inside me. My emotions exploded exponentially and seconds later, I lost control of my body. A tsunami of a hurricane on top of an earthquake was swept away by the tornado that consumed me. Reason abandoned me and left me as emotionally naked as my body was naked.

I slowly recovered and realized that Thomas was hovering over me. He lightly used his fingers to move my hair from my face and tuck it back over my ears. Without a word, he kissed my forehead, my nose and then my eyes.

He nibbled my ear lobes, kissed my neck and my shoulder blades and then my lips. I welcomed his kiss. I returned the kiss with emotionally driven enthusiasm. My mouth opened and his tongue explored my mouth. My tongue found its way into his mouth.

Too soon the kiss ended and Thomas kissed my chest and then my breasts. He held my breasts in his hands while he kissed and nibbled my nipples. I closed my eyes, absorbing every kiss, every nibble into my soul. He kissed back up my chest and kissed my lips again. I threw my arms around his neck so he couldn't retreat again and kissed him as if my life depended on it.

While I was focused on the kiss, I felt Thomas enter me. He slipped easily inside me, filling me with his erection. He began to move inside me and the storm clouds began to form again. I was on the way to another loss of control and I couldn't stop it. It built slowly. Thomas kissed me and continued to stroke inside me and the wave increased until it threatened to carry me away again.

I felt Thomas pulse inside me and the tsunami joined with the heat of his sperm and I fell off the edge of the world again.

Later, Thomas and I lay on the bed beside each other. He was gently running his fingers through my tousled hair. "You okay?" he asked.

"I don't know what happened to me," I said.

"You're pregnant," he said.

"I believe I am," I agreed.

"Are we complete?" Thomas asked.

"Could we do it again?" I asked. "Just as insurance."

Thomas laughed. "I need some recovery time," he told me.

Two hours later, we cleaned up, dressed and left the hotel. The mood was light and the conversation easy. Thomas dropped me at the Wal-Mart. I called my office and told them my car was taking a long time and I would be back in the morning. I drove to a nearby park and walked around the duck pond until quitting time before I went home. While I walked, I thought back to the conversation I had with the two women elders. I wondered if they had done the same thing I had done. I wondered if their parting comment reflected their experience. I certainly had no regrets and exquisite memories.

That night I cajoled Jacob into having sex with me. After my experiences that afternoon, it was like a non-event. Just short of nine months later, Jacob and I had a baby boy. Keeping with tradition, we named him Jacob. I gave him a middle name of Thomas so he would have both his fathers' names.

Over the next decade, I had five more children, two of them with Thomas. The second time was easy to arrange. I stopped Thomas in the hall one afternoon. "Thomas," I asked, "could you do me a favor?"

"Thursday?" he asked.

"Next Wednesday," I answered.

"Same time, same place?" he asked.

"Thanks," I said.

I took Wednesday off and knocked on the door of room 1244 at noon. Thomas answered the door wearing only a robe tied at the waist. It had been almost two years but it felt as if it had been yesterday. Thomas undressed me. He took off the robe and we spent the next four hours making another baby with two insurance policies.

Two years later, we spent the night together. It was amazingly easy to arrange. The school planned an overnight trip to the city for a group of the women students. The trip, the calendar and my cycle were in perfect alignment. I told Jacob that I had been asked to chaperone. He told me to go and have fun. Just the mention of a "favor" was all it took for Thomas to book room 1244. It was the first, and only, time I'd spent a night away from Jacob. I took the day off, left my car in the school lot with the rest of the travelers and took a cab to the hotel. God works in strange and mysterious ways.

That was fifteen years ago. Jacob and I have a stable marriage. All our children have been raised in the faith. Only Jacob Thomas has moved away. The rest are still at home. My youngest daughter is eleven. I've wondered about the future of our four daughters but, keeping with the advice of the women elders, I haven't spoken of it. I have, however, counseled two other young women on their required obligations and I've hoped they have the same revelations that I have had.