Ch Ch Ch Changes!

I contemplate all of this, utterly overwhelmed by how much my life has changed in the last four days. I could go to the police, but my guess is that even with Sarah accompanying me and my old driver's license they won't help. I can even imagine some officer telling me, 'sucks for you, but there aren't any laws against magically transforming a person from one sex to the other!'. I've already done the doctor thing. And I have no idea of how to find the damn Wiccans.

"I don't know Sarah. I guess I don't have much choice here, do I? I think maybe I'll just lie low for a few days and do some work. I've got a few shoots in mind for Arizona Highways and work always distracts me from whatever happens to be wrong in my life at the moment."

"How can I help you Austin?" Sarah is feeling more like the sister I always wanted and less like the cute girl I never hooked up with. "You know, when I'm down some retail therapy can be really helpful. I could have so much fun dressing you up."

I groan inwardly and set aside the thought of being a larger-than-life sized doll for my friend. I've always been a jeans and tee-shirt sort of guy, which was fine given my profession and the women I liked to date, so I wonder if I actually need to change my clothes, and I'm still harboring a very strong hope that this metamorphosis is a two-way street and my body will at some time in the near future revert back to its natural state. When I consider that, a brilliant idea comes to mind.

"Hey, you know they have those genetic testing kits that tell you all about your genetic heritage? I bet taking one of those would for sure let me know if this is something permanent, huh?"

Sarah brightens immediately, "Damn Austin! You always are the smartest guy in the room! Now you may be the smartest girl in the room too!" She pauses a beat, "I do think you should make an appointment with my OBGYN though. I'll come with you and we won't tell her your story, at least not until she's done her exam and checked you out. How's that sound?"

"Fucking scary, that's how it sounds! Stir-ups are involved in that sort of exam, aren't they?" Just saying the words makes me feel like it's some sort of medieval torture device.

"Are you shitting me Austin? It's a doctor's appointment. Vaginas don't need a lot of care, but they do require more care than a penis and its desire for an occasional wash and a daily jack-off. You've gotta do it. Plus, maybe she'll find something that happened and it'll help you grow a pair!" She laughs... that's always been one of her favorite ways of challenging people to do something they find challenging. I can't even begin to count the number of times Sarah has exclaimed 'Why don't you just grow a pair and jump off that bridge into the lake?', or 'why don't you just grow a pair and swallow when he comes?' to a girlfriend.

"Fuck... I hate it when you are right. Ok, will you make an appointment and come with me?" She nods and I have no doubt that she'll follow through. "I'll order one of those tests for myself online."

"So you want to go shopping with me tomorrow? It'll be totally fun!" She asks.

"Ummm... no, I think buying women's clothes at this point would make it feel permanent. Fuck, maybe it is permanent, but i'm just not ready to deal with that right now."

"Ok, but promise me if you have any problems at all ... you'll call me first? Have you told anybody else about this?"

"No, nobody but the people at the Emergency Room. I'm not going to tell anybody either, not until I have to." I secretly thank the tech-gods for email, texts, FB, and all the ways one can communicate without revealing one's gender.

Sarah finishes her beer, and we have another. It's late and she asks if she can sleep over with me. I feel a tingle in the back of my mind, a joyous little bit of dopamine being injected into my brain at the thought that I'm going to finally have sex with Sarah! But it flitters away quickly and I realize I don't want to have sex with Sarah (not that she's suggesting it), but I do want her company and her support. Upon reflecting on that realization I come to realize again that my brain is starting to change as much as my body has. When I look at Sarah I don't feel anything akin to sexual desire for her.

We change the sheets on my futon, lowering it to its other function as a bed and quickly fall asleep. The next few days are a blur. I keep dressing in the baggiest, loosest fitting sweats and hoodies I have. I wear my sunglasses everywhere and when I do interact with people in public none seem to care what gender I am. I avoid my friends and family - making sure to reply to all of them via text or email. To be honest one of the biggest change in all this is that I'm having to sit down whenever I pee. (Yes, I did actually try to pee standing up in the shower the morning after Sarah spent the night, quickly realizing what countless millennia have already taught most naturally-born women. It doesn't work.)