All Comments on 'Chainsaw'

lost a couple of stars for taunting

It is one thing to write a piece that takes on a life of it's own. But writing something that just ends with no apparent reason but to foster sequels is not a winner. - TANSTAAFL

Yep. That was a pretty good ending.

Yep. That was a pretty good ending.

Yep. That was a pretty good ending.

***Thanks?

I don't understand the ending?

'Was fine. Bit overly dramatic, but hey - it's LW.

This needs to be say, though: I will always be puzzled by authors posting their stories on a free website, yet, from the get-go, aggressively inviting potential readers to NOT read said stories. Does it seem quite a bit counterproductive, RWesson? How about, instead of telling people to go elsewhere if they don't like short stories, you leave a simple "I hope you like it"?

Maybe it's just me... Just doesn't seem smart to antagonize your potential readership before your story even starts. Ah well.

For a short story, you still managed a lot of simple mistakes. Perhaps the most egregious one, was this “Being an adulterous?“. Not actually coherent English as written. Perhaps you mean adulteress? Not at all equivalent, though. A number of other typos. Then there’s the plot itself. Did she cheat with Beth? Beth’s husband/boyfriend? Or just somebody else and Beth, a better friend to him than her, told him about it? You even seen proud you leave us to guess he got cut up, or not cut up, with the ‘swinging up’ of the chainsaw at the end. I can assume something, that probably is what you meant, but it’s not at all clear. Just as your hold on the English language is also unclear.

yep - finish the story - 1*

Not even a story, waste if time.

We’ll done 750 word story with as complete of an ending as you can have in one. 5*

Why waste readers time with a half baked half asses attempt?

bitch got what she deserved

ANOTHER SLUT BITES THE DUST .... so heart warming ... lol

5* 10 hardons and a tingling in my balls

As "erotica" this story completely fails.

Nothing remotely arousing here.

Well it could go any which way. Personally I would like to think they would literally cut the house in two. And then move on with thier lives.

Terrible!-1*

1* for deliberately leaving it open-ended.

This doesn’t need an ending. It’s 2 irrational and immature people fighting over something neither has any of: integrity.

Just as I'm pretty sure there ISN'T an ending there. A sofa would severely jamb a chainsaw blade. If she doesn't understand how to use a chainsaw in the first place I doubt she would have been able to find the "on" switch and she sure as hell wouldn't have been able to pull the starter rope. Unless she's an MMA fighter. So your "ending" wasn't.

Damn!

A burn the bitch story that is actually worth reading!.

Of course the chainsaw reminds me of SOMETIMES A GREAT NOTION and THE RUNNING MAN. Is the bitch cutting out our hero's heart or is she just castrating and emasculating him?

If it has to be finished, it does not fit the criteria for a 750 word story.

Weak effort. Never seemed to get any traction. But compared to tne tsunami of cuck crap these days….refreshing.

.

3 ***

Sorry, I guess I'm dense - did she bring it up between his legs and cut him in half? Did she simply cut the coffee table? What's "Not yours, mine?" Did she hit herself with the saw?

It's hard to write an original story in this genre, but the author did it! Great fun! How many people out there wish they had done the same at some point? Very good!

Just awful. Don't do it again.

As per your own words, FTDS needs to work on it, to bad they are not writing any more. You left three possible outcomes, maybe four: 1: she cuts the table; 2: She cuts her husband; 3: What I thought, she cuts herself; Or 4: the Police arrive just in time to stop her or maybe to late?

I thought it started out pretty good, but a little to short and needs a little more development. I could could were it could grow a lot longer by building the story.

Any way, thanks for writing.

That definitely wasn’t worth the time to read

What the fuck was that? Was it supposed to be understandable? Was it in any way, shape or form even the least bit erotic? Please, don’t try these 750 word challenges again.

It seems like there is a very small group of women haters on here who simply get off on hurting women. That’s really very sad and pathetic.

Yep, that ending was as dumb as 26thNC

Didn't care for that. 2 stars.

You need to work on your 750-word challenge. Keep trying.

Kinda fun until the end drove it over the cliff where it exploded upon impact with the ground. Rumor has it Michael Bay was jealous.

Yes, she was going to cut her own heart out.

Hey, it OK. Its 750 words, right? That was your goal, you made your goal. Obviously the story was not the priority, not the plot, not the understanding and resolution. Funny, you think 750 words of suggestion and innuendo makes for a complete story? It snot. But thanks for the effort.

Have seen examples of this in other stories (in one, the husband actually cuts the whole house in half), but this was pretty well done for a 750-word story. Until the end - that was way too melodramatic to take seriously.

@GuyFromShades:. Passing score, 3 of the 4 canonical endings, though not in the correct order (you list them in 3-2-1 order, and ignore #4, which is 2, then 1, the murder-suicide option. I thought the story was quite good for a story I had to write and post in 30 minutes start to finish while waiting for the Oncologist. No time for proofing after writing, and autocorrect changed a word I misspelled from adultores to adulturous instead of adulturess. Fat shaking fingers, not caught by proofing. One Grammer mistake, found vs find. For the record, the police won't get there until after she's done what she does.

Echh

Why bother?

I wonder if a spouse ever did this. I mean what could the police do? a judge might make him pay for her half.... Not bad and the writer didn't carry on to boredom.

Good start... needs an ending.

Good story; better if it was just a little longer!!!

@secretsal, yes, I remember that story, can't remember title or author, though.

If i wanted to write the ending,i would have written the story.

LOL, very much like His half of the sofa idea

That’s a very good scene, would work really well as part of the right story.

It'll take a verrrry big chainsaw to cut through the house.

Did CUCKY get bored with completing the story

End enough.

She cheated and finally realized and taking appropriate action

Well RWesson, I usually don't comment much on stories that have a great start, but then come to an inconclusive end and leaving it hanging out there with malice intended, only for me to leave a very low score to bring down the average for unhandy work, but here I am. I love the idea of this beginning, so hopefully in the near future, we will see a fantastic story with a great finale come out bigger than life. I can't wait to try it myself. Maybe several versions in fact from good writers who grab up the inspiration to put their talents to work. Thanks.....

What’s wrong with you people? A good 750-word story asks for the reader to infer the larger narrative. This is a great one. He even helped you all out with the little snark after the stars. Sir, I believe that is cheating.

How much more conclusive could this ending be? A chainsaw was heading towards the coffee table. Down. She pulled the chainsaw up. Up. To her chest. She cried out one last time.

Is it really so interesting to hear about what the police did or how her parents reacted or whatever else bullshit you need for closure? He brought in a chainsaw to make a ridiculous point. She killed herself with it.

The End

Ummmmm, I think I get the ending...

He says... "And it's not enough! You've cut out my heart once, sure as hell looks like you want to do it again!". She responds... "No, not yours, mine!" she cried out one last time as she pulled the chainsaw back up.

I think the author insinuated that she cut out her own heart. The "one last time" statement from the author...

Nonsense at all. Two adult idiots playing with a chainsaw being very angry, is a totally dangerous and idiot idea. So, 1* for this nonsense.

The next time he will know better than to leave the saw unattended

Awesome story. Tons of meaning and impact and just 750 words. That's craft.

Well that was clear as mud.

I liked it!!