All Comments on 'Challenge'

This story ib terms of the two lead characters went next level where other authors fall short. I would say the mom portrayal was a little incomplete in terms of depicting her appeal over and above his previous partners. The dance scene was very good but she should have outshined the competition in other ways as well.

I loved their conversations which were not explicit yet had multiple levels of meaning. She's mom, no she's a siren, no a mom, no, she's s siren. So well played Last critique, the character of Gary and how he strives to be worthy of her. Yet it's as futile as it is sweet because he doesn't have the 'it ' quality her son owns in spades. Gary should have been more of counterpoint for both comic and dramatic effect.

But to me overall jack30341 did this on high adult level in terms how unlikely attraction flickers to life from mere sparks to wildfire intensity.

Ergo the obvious score

Full marks *****

You write with style and panache, but in my opinion, the characters lacked any depth. This story would have been brilliant if you had included a lot more of their thoughts.

The illicit and taboo nature of their coupling would have brought forward a myriad of emotions and that is where the sexual tension would have been most dramatic.

As it was, there wasn't anything that made me connect with the characters. I even felt dislike for your protagonist and the attempt at redemption didn't work for me.

I look forward to reading more of your work.

I was late for work because I couldn’t stop reading—for the story!!! Excellent work. I could easily enjoy a book-length work about how it all works out... and in... and out...

More please. Wow hot stuff indeed. I hope you write more of this wonderful story. I hope she calls off the engagement and they move away to be together. I wonder what Beth will feel about this? Is it possible she has a deep crush on her brother and wants to be a part of this?

That was so damn hot by the end that I'm still breathless. Wow, your writing of those sex scenes was unbelievable.

Ok..so now this has occurred, what happens with Gary?? The Therapist?? If she does marry Gary, what about a night before the wedding fucking, in her wedding lingerie and dress.. maybe make Ellen break it off with Gary.. maybe Beth catches them?? There's still. A LOT more u can do with this story.

A really good story! Well written throughout! I do hope that you'll continue this! Thank you!

I hope this gets a second chapter it's all keyed up and ended with a want for more

fell to sleep ... if i had a gun .... its too long and needs a warning sign .... if i was on a boat and lost and there was an island for me to find food and shelter I would rather drown ...

IF this is a love story there needs to be a sequel. Otherwise it's just another fuck story. 2 stars

Another good story! Glad to see you posted a new one. Hope you're going to continue it. Many thanks!

This story was both tasteful and well done. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading more of your stuff. I stayed riveted to the computer screen until I had read it all. Again Well Done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cliched stories with fairytale endings are a bore. And sneaking around and having a lover on the side is more thrilling. I hope she has her cake and eats it too. Marry this man and have her son on the side at the same time

This was, is brilliant. An absolutely fantastic read. I fear however, that those lacking the intellectual prowess to keep up may well fall to the Wayside. As is evidenced by some of the previous comments. Don't stop. Don't change. This is fantastic.

Excellent writing and paced perfectly.

I will be the devil's advocate and say that the proposal was wrong. You wrote a love story but in no way a cliched happy ending. Trying to have both will only lead to pain in the future for all three. Just saying.

I didn't like the proposal OR the ending..........but came TWICE without touching myself (first time ever in 65+ years!) while reading it! Wow

You just made the top of my HOT list, and I didn't even have one before this!

The best writing I have seen since alwayswantedto.

Jack:

You ability to capture such intimate thoughts with words is amazing. This is without a doubt one of your best works.

PLEASE PLEASE write a sequel soon.

Thank you

EWC

Extremely well written! Thank you.

That's how a good story should be. You remind me an author called "alwayswantedto". Good job keep on writing.

Thank you very much for all of the feedback. I really appreciate it. I want to improve.

And, the best compliment I can have is being mentioned with alwayswantedto.

A highly creative and great writer.

Dear Author,

Again just WOW! I loved this story! The build, the characters, the pace, hell the inner dialogue! Who does inner dialogue? Few, very few. Bombshell, mom sought therapy for incestuous feelings and kept it from her son?! COOL! The physical (and world) descriptions not over the top. No magic dick, no monster breasts, moms not an 11, sons not perfect, broken nose, great shape because of broken nose, can defend himself because of broken nose and all without over exposition...merely realistic images and characters. The realization and reality of having to keep up a facade to hide their incestuous secret! (Rarely touched on by most writers.) I very much enjoyed this gem of a story. Thank you for sharing your talent with us, the readers.

Loved the story, loved the character development, loved the slow-burning passion, loved the writing... mostly. There were a few parts where you seemed to string random words together that made no sense whatsoever. I gathered you were trying to be poetic, but alas, you failed. Fortunately, those parts were few and far between. The rest of the story was simply amazing.

I was a bit disappointed that Ellen accepted Gary's proposal. He sounded like a leech - someone who would take a beautiful, vibrant woman and suck the life out of her.

I gave you 4 stars, simply because there's room for improvement, but not much. Keep up the good work.

I honestly don't know where to place this story. This Story blew my mind, I don't know if positively or negatively (pretty sure not this).

I need to read it a second and third time to really give you an opinion on the story.

It is very interestingly written. I really like the writing style of yours.

For me, though there are still some background questions from the story, which I'll write you private feedback soon, as soon as I read it a second time (which can take some time, distancing myself to get a clear head)

So far I liked it 4 Stars

10 Stars

High quality. The initial buildup was abrupt, but the long detailed scenes with the two of them made up for it.

You introduced enough interesting characters (sister, mom’s best friend, therapist) that it seems like a second chapter is in order. But it’s excellent as a stand-alone story too. Cheers.

GOOD JOB.

There is a delicious hint of GSA in there. Had hoped for a sequel, which would explore their feelings......more now that the sexual aspect is out in the open. Is there really something to this GSA mystery, in author's view?

Please continue this story!

Can't leave us hanging. One more chapter.

Oh my gosh! Please please finish this!

I'm coming back to this one. The son in this one has always fascinated me. Especially how it seems he wants more of her than she might want of him.

Sorry - You lost me at the proposal and acceptance.

part 2 must be there. it will be a crime writing a fantastic story without proper ending . writer part 2 please.

Jack30341, it's great to read that you intend to write more of this powerfully emotional tale. If ever a story needed a second chapter it would have to be this one.

Please, another chapter.

The proposal and acceptance. I felt she betrayed him and he should move far away.

Wow, this turned out to be pathetic and just a wated read. Maybe you should get a better hobby

Jack:

You are a master erotic wordsmith!

I have enjoyed your works numerous times, you have a gift.

If any of your works deserve a sequel this one surely does.

Please make it happen.

Regards

A Faithful Reader

This is one of the few stories I have given a 5 to. After a while all of the mother/son stories start to sound the same, but this one stands out. The admission at the therapist that leads immediately to incest was pure genius. The timing of the surprise proposal after just one encounter between mother and son... The conflict is set. This is also one of the few stories on Literotica that I think is the start of a great movie. Now what?

I can only give a 4/5 star rating. The beginning was a little chaotic. Why was Tom banging on the bag, what is bothering him? And what is the vague hint that it was his mother and not his sister who called him. There is very little setup to indicate Tom and his mother had a close relationship, so when it became clear that is who he was fixated upon, it didn't really gel (for me). The dry humping scene was too abrupt. No indication of how it ended? Did she run off? He just get up a walked out? Then suddenly, the meeting with the sex therapist. Which begs the question of why she was seeing one to begin with? There are the hints from the daughter about what his mother was doing after the divorce, but based on Ellen's accounting, she was not sleeping around. Of course this triggers the first coupling between mother and son, which again, I felt you did not close it well? Did she spend the night? Did she leave immediately? You hint at it with his description of sexting between them, but again very vague.

I am, unlike others, not upset over the marriage proposal. That made a lot of sense. She said Gary was very suspicious and it mad sense he would jump quickly. The final sex scene was very good, though it implied that this was the first time she notice he recovered quickly. It would seemed to me that should have happened the first time.

I would have left the party immediatly and asked for a transfer from my job across the country. He was betrayed.

Needs a part 2. Can't end it like this.

This feels like only the first half of a story. The engagement needs to be resolved. She shouldn't have accepted in all honesty especially since she's in love with Tom. And he'd be jealous as fuck if she's living with Gary while fucking him. It would feel like a betrayal, which just doesn't really fit in an incest story between those in the relationship. Ultimately I feel like this story started off well, gained traction then went downhill after the proposal.

This needs more since you did your MC dirty. The "player" is just being used like a human dildo. That's not love. That's just a cougar manipulating the cocky playboy who thinks he can handle her. She kept the safety and stability of her soon-to-be husband with a little excitement on the side to satisfy her taboo kink. A second chapter where he leaves her stewing for someone who actually wants to be with him would do him justice.