All Comments on 'Change in Plans'

in a hotel room.

why is this in LW?

why did she ask him to do exactly what she told him for the next 30 minutes?

around the world in only 30 minutes?

Thanks for the joy ride. A married couple having fantastic sex, with each other? Sweet.

Bonnie is going to be so pissed off. Thanks for that too.

just a new form of foreplay. TK U MLJ LV NV

Loving Wives is NOT for stories about wives who actually love (though it's great when such stories appear). Loving Wives is for drek about cheating and humiliating and lying and mostly betrayal and for stories about willing cucks.

2nd person stories are off putting for me and they are hard to pull off. Character development in 2nd person is tough for any writer to pull off. This is so fast, really a series of mini vignettes, that character development is virtually impossible.

I was grateful that it didn't turn into yet another willing cuck story that oozed out of fetish into LW. I gave it ***

Thanks

This is a realy LW story...For showing that a couple can have fun without cheating, humiliation and so on, 3*. The only thing against it is: Why to tell what happened to his wife if she was there, lived it?

this is what i dont get. if a women wants to be treated like a slut every once in a while. why not let it be your husband doing it. you dont need to cheat to have fun and play games. that said, one little thing jumped out to me about this story. "she walked bye the front desk and waved. she must have been here earlier today" yes or maybe she goes there all the time. lets see, new type of sex. new place he has never been. yet she seems familiar with.makes me think.

My only complaint is that she took her coat off twice. Once in the hallway and once in the room. Other than that she seemed to enjoy herself thoroughly. Where was dinner? They must have been starved.

The style of writing, you did this you did that, irritates and adds to bad story only to make it worse.

I find facials degrading to the extreme. Call me old fashioned or whatever. Cheers!

That the way a happily married couple should be. Trying new things and getting out of the regular sexual routines they do with each other. Why can't everyone do this instead of cheating because they want it up the ass or cum on their face or cuffs or whatever with only your spouse

Hot and sexxxxy

in the present tense. I only recall one slip into the past tense. Need one, last, thorough proofreading, preferably by a second party. Most noticeable = "you" instead of "your." I was expecting this to end with him handcuffed to something solid and immovable. Then she would bring in her lover to put on a show. I think I got that idea from the staff knowing her. Her lover was well-to-do and often took her this location. *****

This story was written so that it read as if the reader (that's me) was the guy's wife. That made it unnerving to read because as a guy I don't want your cock anywhere near me. It would be better to write this stuff so that the reader can temporarily assume the identity of the character they most closely match up with. Maybe try replacing the words you and your with she and her and see how this one reads.

Other than that, not bad.

The reader is not your slut. Don't write that way.

Was right there with you both the whole time! Wonderfully written and so hot and sweet at the same time - looking forward to more.

HA HA Ha Ha ha ha...hilarious ! So creative , 2nd person writing . Caused so much conflict in my male brain !! Liking the original shock value . Whew....!No BTB here.

One quibble, this belongs in Erotic Couple . Did you purposely put it in LW to get more comments??

AMerryMan

Second person is very difficult to pull off. About 6 times harder to get a basic story done fairly well. Did NOT happen here ... Fail One!

Present tense is very difficult to write in ... about 5 times harder to get a basic story done well ... Didn't happen here! Fail 2!

Both failures were pretty much independent of each other! Pity, because the story line seemed to be fairly well done otherwise!

But then this TLW story was posted to LW! Fail 3!

Unrated!

1st or 3rd person! NOT 2nd person! I stopped reading early on when I was told I was the idiot's wife.

Minus 10 stars for this trash.

....but probably in the wrong category ;)

This category is for hotwife/cuckold fiction.

That's all I can say, "Horrible!"

Good but it needs to be proofread again, some of it just doesn’t make sense and you jump in and out of the third person to much to often, plot is good characters are good as well.

Nice tale of husband and wife, but how is it, like he noticed, that she had been at that Inn before, she knew where she was going? Maybe, today was the first time because she had to made the reservations, or maybe, she had a tryst there before? Why the " change in plans"? One thing I've learned, especially in reading these stories, you NEVER let anyone, even your wife, blindfold you or use handcuffs. I give this tale of love 4 stars.