All Comments on 'Changed Ch. 01'

As you said yourself:

"-OMG, love it! Want more! Will give u ideas tmw."

Holy smoking.... that is one hot story. Well written!

Whatever you do, continue writing. Perhaps we can read a continuation of this story?

Great job.

Good premiise.

But the sex is too matter-of-fact. Lots of it, but basically o the boring side.

Four stars.

Out - frecking - standing

Five pages of boredom.

more of this story please

Good read, thank you

This needs more chapters! Does he eventually get her pregnant?!! I'm hooked on this story!!

Seemed too easy and cheezy, and I don't love sluts, but I read on. You made it work, looking forward to the next chapter!

More chapters on the ideas and kinks they discussed earlier!

It’s obvious that English is your second or third language. Please don’t write anymore stories.

Previous comments are proof that tastes vary. I think your concept is great, and you’ve put together a fine story.

Just remember to translate comments:

Good = I like that

Bad = not my thing.

5*

Tc

Wow! Hot story. Loved the premise. Please continue. Obvious opportunity to include their mom. Also need to learn of dad’s latent horniness for Amy - the reason for his demands for her conservative attire. Hot family!

I stopped reading at Kenjisato. They are a lazy, horrible editor.

5 Stars. Please continue.....and let the mom join.

Good story. A little rushed at the end. Should have made his first time more. Still good. Maybe a little more proofreading next time.

@Anonymous Wow, that's harsh. It is my second language. Not sure why I should stop writing though, when you can simply not read. Not only do I have fun doing it, but how am I supposed to get better otherwise?

Would really appreciate concrete example on how to change things. Like, "The phrase 'Bla bla bla.' is poorly written, something like 'Blo blo blo.' would read better."

Nice concept and development, could use some work to avoid it becoming stale too fast.

Curious about what could come next!

I liked how real the relationship became. Unfortunately, at that point it stopped being hot enough to come to, but I kept reading because it was so enjoyable. I'll definitely read more if you write more

DIRTY! I like it! Needs a part 2, ASAP!

Very nice. Especially for an early effort. The mild watersports was a pleasant surprise, I hope you develop it more in chapter 2 or 3.

I'm assuming that the mom knowing about the lube and the fantasies about her is foreshadowing. Be interesting to see her involved by the 3rd chapter.

Good story and would love to read chapter 2.

Good story. I liked you focused first on the motivation and later on the sex acts.

More please!

More please

I'm glad that you kept the mom stuff in the role playing fantasy part of their relationship and that they never actually follow through by acting on it for real. But I'm still only going 4 stars because you still went to that place. Brother/Sister incest stories need to remain exactly that. If you absolutely have to bring in a third family member, then go with another sibling or a first cousin. Leave out the older generation completely, even in the fantasy scenes. 4/5

@ScottishTexan Yeah? Well, you know, that's just like, uh, your opinion, man.

A story doesn't need to be anything except what the author wants, and I think it's incredibly selfish to downvote a story based on the content. It will just compel the authors to write for the masses instead.

If everyone did that, those niche stories, which I think is the appeal of Literotica, would be buried in the sea of mediocrity despite the obvious quality and effort, and that's a travesty. Please don't do that. If you don't like the content, just don't vote, for the sake of every writer on the site.

Thank you all for the positive comments.

i hope you are planning for a part 2 soon bcz this one was awesome to read. i cam like 4 times lol

That was so fucking beyond hot! More please...

Keep writing! This is an awesome beginning. You have that quality of making it seem real and immersing the reader in the story. I have read some excellent stories here and you have the potential to surpass them. As for the imaginative scenarios don't worry, the moderators will let you know your limits. My advice to those who downvote is stop reading and move on without voting at all if it offends you. That's what most of us do. This site is about entertainment, not pissing on the writer because it makes the reader feel better. That is sadistic and unnecessary. Save it for the mirror. Writer, you are AWESOME!

Story is super hot but what they shared is lust and not love, despite their declarations of it. Their comfort with one another sexually was very erotic but the were simply using one another. May want to rethink their inclusion of "love" in this story. Thanks for this tale and keep up the great work.

One of the greatest and hottest stories I have read so far. You are a really good writer. It's the little things that makes a story more than just a typical story. It's one of those stories.

@Anonymous. "May want to rethink their inclusion of "love" in this story."

They are young. It's perfectly normal to confuse lust and love. And there are all kinds of love. I'd argue that they still have brotherly/sisterly love regardless of their physical relationship.

Just sheer exhilaration from free exploration of sexual potential! Kudos to you for first imagining, and then developing ongoing scenarios that are realistic, and free of demeaning sidelines. Please continue??????

Author-

Your response to "ScottishTexan" is spot on!! He is always making those kinds of comments about stories...very judgmental and cringy...complains about dads being cheated on/cucked, wives being unfaithful...THEN says use other family members, as if that changes the 'cheating' concept any. GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

I myself appreciate the story, and the fact that you wrote it with various kinds of love in mind; the English language is restrictive, in that we have to 'infer' meanings to words, in the context of the moment. The Greek language is something else, now...

Five**5**Stars...hope to see more of these two!!!!!!!

Great start!! This deserves at least one more chapter. Being an old pervert softy, I think a romantic relationship between them IS possible. being able to find another who not only lets you have your kinks, but is right there with you is a basis of a deeper relationship. The fact that he likes the fantasy of her being gangbanged but really doesn't want to actually see her with another man speaks of deeper feelings for her. I prefer seeing the parents as fantasy rather than actual but leave that choice to the writer.

Alex kept coming across to me as being a bit dull. Need to explore his mind a bit more. I can feel her desire and enthusiasm more. Her mind is layed open better. I see him change in his words, but his emotions are not well explored. Another reason to add to the story. I'm overall, enthralled. Mahalo

This a great start . Hope we could see more of this soon . As much as i don't like the idea of them switching and fooling around with other partners, it would be exciting to see Alex getting ripped and surprise his Sister..

Deserves a sequel

Scottish Texan did everything except telling you to stay off his lawn and refusing to give you your ball back

@scottishtexan: if you want the older generation venerated, please write your own story. Your reason for downvoting this one seems very self-centered.