All Comments on 'Watching Her Sister'

You’ve committed one of the biggest cardinal sins in writing: Having two people talking in the same paragraph. This is a HUGE rookie mistake and took away from the otherwise fairly good first time effort. This story has a great deal of potential and so do you. I’d hate to see you screw that up.

I meant to touch four stars but hit two. Keep writing as I thought it was great, well my cock did lol

and would like to read what happens next and ASAP