Chapter 03: The Unfuck

I was wondering how I would rape Esther, three days before my retirement kicked in, seven before the divorce hearing, when a group of American college students in Mali went missing. I was on it before the news broke on CNN. I was due in a pretrial meeting with my lawyer at a restaurant when the first bulletin broke. I had already been called, my replacement had been found dead in Timbuktu, I was needed to go and find out what happened.

"When you get back to your office a DOD document will be on your email. All legal issues are off until further notice, I'm going to work."

"But-."

"Makes no difference, I'm still working for the DOD, retirement effective at the end of debrief."

"Where will you be?"

"You don't need to know."

"What else do I do?"

"I'll put money into your trust account, get the hotel finished."

Within an hour Ruth was on her way to take care of Cathy and Nicole. Within three I had my briefing, identity, orders, and equipment. Diedre knew I was going to work in four and called me.

"I hear Ruth is coming, anything we can do?"

"Get Beth to look at the hotel. She has a good eye, and can set things right... make the opening if I'm not back.

In six hours I was out of the country. I missed Cathy's birthday in October, I missed Veterans Day. I missed Christmas and New Year too. I got back on the third of February. The hotel was nearly finished, I was just in time to hire people to staff it.

Walking through with the project manager, the architect, and Elizabeth I was impressed. The hotel had essentially been rebuilt, the golf course was new; the jetty was now a small marina with docking for a dozen keel boats that would be delivered in March. Twenty four self-catering chalets had been built with another fifteen nearing completion across the little bay of the lake where the hotel was positioned.

I caught up with Esther on the tenth of February, her LSD guy had left her after beating her into hospital for a week. Being under arrest would do that for a guy. Given Esther's employer it was a much bigger than simple assault. Poor guy, he'd had a BMW dealership before smacking her, he was going to be lucky to have a dick when the DOD finished with him. She was just coming out of hospital refusing to press charges personally, I picked her up at the door having been notified by the DOD.

"Why are you taking me home? You want to kill me."

"Nope. I want to know why." I answered.

She was quiet as I got out of the parking lot.

"You were so boring. Nothing about what you ever did came home. Not your trading, nothing about your missions. Jeez I got to reading some of the shit you did and went through; nothing of that came home. Nikki was already three when I found out you were an operative! I read about Iceland when you got promoted, shit, you got hunted by our own and three enemy organizations and took it all apart. You wiped three senior enemy operatives and their teams out and flushed two moles. None of that came home. You were always fine."

"At the time I couldn't talk about it and later it was pointless to talk about."

"Bullshit Nick. Whether you make a million or lose a million it's all the same to you. I don't know why you were the way you were when I got pregnant with Nikki but that was the best sex you ever gave me. I wanted so much more of that but you did it once and then you were fine again. The perfect, devoted husband." she said bitterly.

"Do you know how I loved coming home?"

"To the girls, not to me. You didn't handle the diapers and crying when they cut teeth. You just came home to cute girls who loved their daddy. You were gone for months on end and when you came home you were fine. You would play with the girls roughly but ask me if it was okay to fuck like geriatrics afraid of dying on the job."

I stayed quiet, she had never asked or spoken about the way we made love. It hurt to hear but it was over and I was not going to have a fight about it now. Esther was started now and carried on.

"You were on assignment when I got my CA. I thought I did well doing it in seven years. You came back and put me to shame doing two PhDs in five years. That while being out of the country half the time. You got your degrees and didn't celebrate, you just went out again and raised hell on anybody we pointed you at."

"No time to celebrate..." I said remembering how a change of president encouraged enemies to launch a series of assaults.

"It was that second doctorate that got me. I had a look at your research while you were out once. Polygamous marriages... I figured there had to be another woman for you to look at that. Then there was the betting pool at work about who you would screw on assignment. nobody ever took the pot, it just meant that you were damn good at not getting caught, that was the feeling anyway and I remembered that thesis of yours. I got our own guys to look, nothing. That just told me you were applying your training. Then I met Kevin, I thought that you were getting away with it and took the chance when he invited me to get it on with him."

She lit a cigarette as she remembered and talked. it was a new habit for her. I smoked too, when I was on assignment. I defy anybody in enemy territory, waiting for the bombs to start exploding to not smoke or start drinking like a fish to deal with the stress. I idly wondered how much stress she was under.

"Fucking none of them stuck around. As soon as they heard I had children they got the fuck away. Until Jimmy; damn he was fun! Like you when you were at school. Do you remember Nick? You surfed on trains while other guys thought spray painting them was an achievement, and you showed me how... He could screw me like I was a cheap whore and have me feeling like a million dollars afterwards. He saw chance for the girls and I thought I had the guy who would take me to the places you worked in so often... I never had more fun than screwing him while you were in town and getting away with it... In the end I did it because I enjoyed it." She finished with utter honesty.

Home was in sight.

"Thank you Es."

"So what now? Kiss and make up?"

"No. You helped me with wife number two though. Goodbye Es." I said stopping in front of her house.

On Valentine's day Diedre and Elizabeth were at home with my daughters and I for breakfast. Nicole and Cathy had figured that Diedre and I were an item and were doing their best to help matters along. We were sitting in the kitchen waiting for the pancakes when Elizabeth asked and Diedre explained our relationship. She was blatantly honest about not wanting to marry me. She told them that that she was my concubine and explained it baldly to Nicole when my youngest asked what a concubine was as a beloved whore and a wife who a husband could not marry. I explained that we could not marry because there were other marriages involved.

"Are you married Diedre?" Cathy asked.

"No Cath. I am not... before any of you start; I was a hooker until Beth was born. Then I had my degree and I put that away to bring Beth up. I am a bad choice for wife because of that. I know I would be a horrible wife, I am probably far from the best mother too."

"Girls being a hooker is not a job it becomes who you are. I know how Diedre feels about men from her time as that; I have dealt with other women from that life, although I didn't love them I did get some idea. I love Diedre girls, I love her so much that I will accept her need to have an option for instant freedom and her need to be paid as a sign that I love her." I said.

"What are the other marriages dad?"

"Mine with your mom Cath. Until I make peace with it I will only hurt any other woman I marry. I will transfer my anger to her and cause no end of pain. Nobody deserves that."

I looked at Elizabeth as I spoke, she had been appointed as the authority between the children. She looked back at me and blushed. She clearly did not know that we had arranged for her marriage to me, but she was thinking of marrying me. This was somewhat complex for her because I also seemed to have become a father figure to her. I felt sorry for her and fervently hoped she would preserve the father figure rather than change to husband and lover identity for me.

The girls accepted that and we spent the rest of the day amicably. The talk wandered between what was going to happen with the divorce to what the hotel would be doing from the beginning of May when it opened. Elizabeth spent time playing the piano, practicing with Nicole before having an afternoon snooze on the carpet beside me as we played Dirty Dancing for me to see what the fuss was about. I lay still as she curled up into my side using my shoulder for a pillow. Diedre covered us with a blanket at the end of the movie with a wink.

Through the night I found out that Elizabeth talked in her sleep. I'm really an opportunistic bastard and used that to learn a lot of interesting things about her. Uppermost in her mind was learning that her mother had been a hooker and had no qualms about being a private prostitute. This made her other desires more likely. I led her through that and then explored her feelings for me, confused as I suspected, before leading her to deep and peaceful sleep.

The divorce hearing was scheduled for the twelfth of March, with a different judge to the one who had heard the restraining order case. This was good news to Esther and her lawyer, it meant the deliberate deception of the restraining order would not factor into the judge's arbitration. The entire fight at the hearing would be about custody and shares in the hotel. This surprised me, the lawyer explained that we were still married and Esther's lawyer was arguing that her client still had a nuptial right.

When the hearing started, Esther having sued, her lawyer started by making the allegations on infidelity. To substantiate this she dropped documents into evidence. I got an ice cold feeling when she did that explaining that the documents were breakdowns of my work credit card expenditure for the assignment in South Africa. I took a picture of the top document and sent it to emergency contact for operatives.

"Get this hearing in camera. Now!" I whispered to my lawyer as he stood up to object.

"Objection your honor, we have no notification about this, we need time to formulate rebuttle!"

"This evidence came yesterday. We have had no time to notify the defense, however we will furnish the defence with certified copies right now."

Esther's lawyer theatrically dropped the pages on the table in front of me. A glance at them made me incredibly thankful that I could not be involved in how they got here. They were original DOD expenditure reports and analyses of how we used these funds. The headings at the top said so, the ghost writing in the background said: EYES ONLY NO HARD COPY.

"These documents will show a lot of transactions at whorehouses." I said to my lawyer quietly.

he was on it in a second.

"These are sensitive government documents your honor, they do not belong to the defendant or the prosecution, as such they should be struck as evidence as they show how money is spent protecting our freedoms and constitution."

"Over ruled. The people have a right to know how taxes are spent. Ownership is not a matter in evidence the question is only whether the evidence is true and valid."

My lawyer sat down.

"Adjourn if you can, we'll have a new judge by tomorrow." I said to my lawyer loudly.

"Are you threatening me Mr. Kestles?" The judge asked.

"No, your honor. Let me explain. I'll use these documents."

"You'd better be good."

"These are the expenditure reports for a Willem Badenhorst; South African Identity number, South African passport. What is my name your honor? Is there any evidence that I am this man?"

"Uhm." Esther's lawyer said.

It was time to lie. I could do that better than a politician.

"What these documents do is put a very brave man in jeopardy. This man is an American Intelligence asset in South Africa, his value lies in not being known, you have just made him known your honor. These documents are now public record which means anybody can look at them and there is enough information here to kill this man. You your honor have just killed an American defense asset and the DOD will not take this lightly."

The judge looked shocked.

"The heading at the top here says top secret. This indicates that these documents will or could cause an intercontinental war between peer or near peer powers. Which people have a right to know this information your honor? Americans? In this forum not only Americans will get to know. Right now you may be helping to start a war with nuclear possibilities. If this person dies you will be charged with his murder; that is a guarantee. So we can fight this out now and you can sit there contemplating what happens to you after this case. You've overruled objection so have fun."

"Willem Badenhorst is a known alias of the defendant. He is not a real person!"

"Prove it! Prove it before that information is acceptable evidence." My lawyer said catching onto the idea of reasonable doubt.

"Seal this evidence!" The judge said desperately.

I shook my head as I went to sit down. I had been Willem Badenhorst, however the evidence for that was not in the finances section. I hoped that the security breach did not extend that far while the bailiff collected the documents. He wasn't finished before a man came into the courtroom and flashed a US marshal badge. He had a quick conversation with the judge who went pale.

'Court adjourned until tomorrow at nine am!" he said.

Esther's lawyer got arrested on the spot, so did Esther. The worst part was that Cathy and Nicole saw that happen. They wanted to know what was going to happen next after I had given my statement; I could only tell them that the marshal would investigate and then decide what to do. The marshal knew I had sent the message and that I had no access or even the possibility of access. My statement was a mere formality to complete Document One in what was to come.

I explained that everybody involved with the records would get investigated very carefully. I was not under investigation because I had nothing to do with those documents. They asked about Esther, that I could not answer, I had no clear idea of what financial control she did. I kept a watch at home that night, Esther came home at ten pm; that meant she was cleared. Strangely I was relieved, mostly because I wouldn't need to kill her. I slipped out and went to see her.

"What do you want?"

"Who did it?" I asked.

"No idea. They've had me on NIRNA since the restraining order was overturned."

NIRNA stood for Nobody Interested Report Needed Anyway. These were reports that needed to be seen to be written but nobody ever really read. They were used to bury inconvenient politicians in details so that we could work without too many questions being asked mostly. They were also often used to satisfy departments about our commitment to good management, occasionally to flush journalists out who had gained access somehow. It was the section people got sent to when the DOD wanted them to fuckoff but firing them was too much effort.

"Why would she have put them down like that?" I asked.

"She's in the shit on this case Nick. Her reputation got kicked in the balls with you. I think she wants revenge because since the restraining order got overturned she has been getting nailed. Not just in court but by the bar council. Fuck Nick! I got fucked up for that."

"Find another job Es it's easier getting back in from outside than climbing out of NIRNA...Take care Es." I said and turned to go.

"You're going to fuck me up completely then kill me aren't you? You're out, me getting out just gives you a clear shot without the Means Department getting on the mission."

I was intensely angry about that; she thought I wanted her to die. The Means were mercenary commandos who were brought in to end domestic disputes, whether that was a local wannabe terrorist group or a marital breakup gone wrong.

"No, stay out of my way and I'm not coming after you. We're finished Es."

"Why are you here then?"

"Because the girls will want to know."

"Bullshit."

I stopped, I knew I should walk away. I had never lied to her, never cheated, kept my promises; she had no reason to doubt what I said. Instead I turned back to her.

"Decide then, right now. When the case is over I rape you and we never deal again or I don't and drive you to score an own goal. This is a promise Es, cross me again and I will push you over the edge. I know how close to it you are."

Esther looked at me without emotion. She was not getting angry at me anymore; that probably meant she didn't care, not about me and not about herself.

"Yeah, come for a goodbye fuck."

I went home and then to sleep. As predicted we had a different judge the next morning. In his opening statement he openly said that he was fully conversant with the defense specific legislation involved in this case. He was in reality a military justice standing in for the reasons of his expertise. The DOD documents were ruled inadmissible he also threw my own evidence from my initial surveillance out because I was a federal agent and was bound by search and seizure laws for matters that involved American citizens in court.

Esther's lawyer was holding her side of the hearing in leg irons and a prisoner outfit and asked about my liability for criminal charges. The judge did not consider my evidence to be of criminal nature. He substantiated that by pointing out that the issuing of the restraining order had been a criminal offence and the legal position was that you were on your own if you were in violation of the law. He pointed out that I had not pursued criminal charges for the restraining order, and had stopped my surveillance when the restraining order was overturned. As such there was no further harm.

He did allow evidence of Esther's unfaithfulness gathered legally through requests by me to the DOD for data on her lifestyle and contact audits. He allowed the affidavits from her past lovers because that information had not been acquired illegally. When my affairs after the papers were served were brought into court the judge laughed them off. I had been sued for divorce and had every right to play the field after that.

He settled custody very easily. He simply called each girl up and asked them to whisper to him. He completely ignored the counselor who spoke about me spanking the children as if that was child abuse. He told the counselor that there was plenty of evidence that showed spanking worked and the way I did it from what the girls said showed superb judgement and restraint. Additionally my girls had showed no sign of being abused, it came out that Esther spanked too, although less often and without being consistent about why. Even the counselor had to concede that getting the girls pets had been a good therapeutic move. The counselor was negative about me going away for four months, my lawyer hammered her for that. He pointed out that I had not left the girls unattended, had not stopped payments for their needs, and had taken additional steps to see to their safety and happiness.

The judge stopped any question about why I went instantly when I was called to the stand. My affair with Florence, my dalliance with Amelia were asked about but since that was not an issue that was going to impact the case my lawyer effectively gagged Esther's lawyer. Esther on the stand was asked about her conduct while I was on deployment. She had not tried to visit despite express permission to do so. It was at that moment when Esther became the EW (Ex-Wife) to me, she had willfully ignored a huge chance to make amends with her daughters and slapped it aside. I considered her to not be worth a name from then.