Chapter (16) XVI: Dinner and a Show

"Your form is sloppy, blacksmith!" Carmella called out, bashing me with the side of her sword. I tumbled head over heel in the mud and laid there, resting under the blue sky. "Did your catgirl wear you out that much last night?"

"No, not for lack of trying," Shari said from the sidelines, examining her nails. "He had full access to me and could have had anything he wanted. But instead, he let himself be agitated and miserable."

"Oh? No wonder he can barely hold a sword," The First Knight said, stepping on my chest with a heavy, greaved foot as she peered down at me. "He spent all of his will controlling himself last night."

I pushed her boot off me and pulled myself to my feet wearily. They weren't wrong. I hadn't slept well. Shari was warm and soft and incredibly distracting. And I had a lot of trouble relaxing. By the time I finally slept, Meryl had sent Emilia to fetch me for court. I was even more quiet and even less helpful than usual. I shook the memories of standing like a lark in her courtroom out of my head and lifted my sword and dagger. Carmella tested my defense, and I deflected her blade, and she stepped out of the way, whipping me in the ass with her sword. I turned on a heel and slashed at her again. She ducked under my blade and slammed the blunt of her sword into me again. "If this were a real fight, you'd be dead, blacksmith."

"I don't see the point of this," Shari added in a bored tone. Carmella looked at her and motioned with her sword for the Ipet-Mau to continue. "You two are using two very different styles, and his skill is limited by his unwillingness to hurt you."

"You think he's holding back?" Carmella asked, glaring at me.

"You hadn't noticed?" Shari retorted incredulously. "Of course he is. He adores and respects you."

"Apparently, I haven't been pushing him hard enough if he thinks he could hurt me yet," the First Knight said in a dangerous tone. She reached down, lifted me bodily with one hand, and set me on my feet. "Maybe I should also stop holding back."

The following minutes of my life were the most terrifying I'd ever experienced. Carmella came at me from positions and angles I couldn't follow or comprehend. I defended against some, but most often, I was thrown around like a dog toy during the most aggressive game of fetch ever. She also stopped using the flat of her blade. She cut through the padded armor I had favored over the plate mail she'd encouraged, leaving it and my undershirt in tatters. I woke up some time later, my head in Emilia's lap. Carmella was sitting nearby. Shari had transformed into her white cat form and was cuddled in my arms. Some of her fur had been colored by my blood. When Carmella spoke next, her words were filled with venom, "Have you learned your lesson about holding back, blacksmith?"

"I'm not holding back, you lumbering monster!" I spat back bitterly. I could still taste blood in my mouth. I knew I was entirely healed, but I was sore and tired. "At least not like that."

Carmella rolled her hand for me to continue. I groaned and started pulling myself up, but Emilia pushed my head back into her lap and stroked my hair. "Not yet, Johann. Just a few more minutes. You lost a lot of blood."

"It's not me doubting your skill. It's just... hard," I said, not meeting anyone's eye.

"What is?"

"Striking at you. Striking at someone I lo-... care about so much." Carmella got up and closed the distance between us, and sat down in front of me. She stripped herself of a gauntlet and stroked my cheek with a sweaty hand. I still didn't look up at her.

"You're an idiot and a coward," Carmella whispered softly. Affectionately, even. I shifted and got up, resisting Emilia's insistence. She gave an annoyed grimace, and I stood up. The cat uncurled and looked up at me. Somehow, she looked satisfied. Carmella stood and offered me a hand. I stood on my own, and she smirked at me. "Ready for round two?"

"Shari. Please turn back now." The cat looked at me curiously and shifted back into her human form. She was crouched on her hands and feet.

"What is it, Johann?"

"You have a choice. You can fight Carmella, or you can fight me. But you're sparring with one of us." Her eyes narrowed at me as she stood up.

"Why would I do a ridiculous thing like fighting either of you? I've seen what she can do, and I can't compete in a fair fight."

"That implies you have a chance in an unfair fight," Carmella snorted confidently.

"Of course. I am a spy, after all. We never fight fair, and when we do fight, we fight to win."

"Right then. In that case, you can fight me."

"That's also not a fair fight," she replied, pouting. "Besides, I don't have my weapons."

"That's not a problem," Carmella said, walking over to her pack, retrieving the Ipet-Mau's twin daggers, and tossing them to her. Shari reluctantly caught them with unsettling ease. "This should be very interesting."

"I don't see the point in this. I'm not a combatant here."

"And yet you caused more damage with your words than I did to Carmella with a sword," I said, retrieving my weapons from the ground and shaking off the mud. I brandished both of my blades and took my stance. Shari still hadn't unsheathed her knives. Carmella and Emilia walked over to the sidelines.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Revenge, mostly. And also, I'm leagues below Carmella. While I appreciate her help and dedication, there's only so much improvement I can make by getting my ass kicked every day by the same person. As a spy and a thief, I'm sure you can devise a clever method or two to challenge me."

"You're already challenged if you're picking a fight with me," she muttered bitterly. She finally bared the bronze blades and charged forward. She was incredibly swift. In less than a blink of an eye, she was attacking me. I deflected her first blow, but the second caught me in the gut, and she twisted the blade and pulled out. All the wind was knocked from me, and I struggled to stay standing. I swung my sword at her, and she ducked under the first blow, but I drew blood with the dagger, and she jumped back. I closed the distance between us, swinging again with my sword. She tried to deflect it with her daggers, but I was still bulky from my years of blacksmithing, and the blade scraped across her chest, sparking off her foreign armor.

She slashed forward twice, and I managed to deflect both blows. I countered one of her attacks, striking forward with my longer sword, and she danced out of the way. I had been expecting that and struck out with my dagger, catching her in the stomach. I hit around the same area she had with me, and she was also winded. I kicked her, and she fell onto the ground. Looming over her, I went for another attack. She held up her hand and cried out. I stopped, which gave her time to throw her dagger. It sank into my shoulder, and I dropped my dagger. She dashed forward and struck out with her other blade. I knocked the dagger to the side with my sword, counter-striking with a slice down at her. It clipped her shoulder. She dropped her dagger, instead choosing to pounce on me. I fell back, and she pinned me to the ground. "Blood Cleric, heal us. The fight is over."

"I'm still up," I managed, bucking up against her hips.

"But you would've died in a real fight."

"How do you figure?"

"Because my daggers would be coated in poison, were I interested in killing you." My blood ran cold. I'd never considered that before. She waited until Emilia had crossed the grounds to remove the dagger impaled in my shoulder. Emilia healed us both. Carmella also joined after a moment.

"Did you learn something, blacksmith?"

"Yeah, apparently, I'm screwed no matter what I do."

"No," Shari said cryptically. "You did well. Not many can hit me at all. And besides, both the knight and I are here to protect you."

"Comforting," I said dryly, pushing her off of me. She retrieved her daggers, sheathed them, and stared at them for a long moment before offering them to Carmella.

"You could've killed him if you wanted to, couldn't you?" The First Knight asked. I grimaced at the thought.

"Maybe. I don't do long fights, and it might last a long time without the poisons. He can obviously take a beating." Shari looked at me fondly. "He's a quick study, too. He tried one of my moves against me. Maybe he's missed his calling as a thief and a spy."

My eyes shot up to hers. She was wearing a devilish smile. I stuttered, but Emilia shushed me as she checked for any more wounds. Carmella watched me curiously. "Did you get what you wanted out of that, Johann?"

"Close enough to it," I said, pulling myself to my feet. "Now I know how she fights and at least some of how dangerous she is."

"I suspected that much from how she walked, honestly," Carmella said, boredom overtaking her tone.

"I knew she was a fighter, but not how she fought."

"She has a very distinctive gait," the First Knight muttered without explanation. "Training's done for the day since you have plans."

"Plans?" I asked, then I looked at Emilia. "Did you already figure out what we're doing?"

"Of course. But you need to wash up. Really, all of you do. And you," Emilia added, poking my chest. "Need to figure out what you're doing with your pet by six."

"I'll take care of it," Carmella added, wrapping a hand around Shari's arm. "We can talk about her future. Short as it may be."

Shari looked at me, silently pleading for help. I smirked at her and waved. It was nice to be the one on firm footing for once. I glanced at Emilia, who was watching me with a mischievous smirk painted across her face. And suddenly didn't feel like I had firm footing anymore.

I bathed alone, which was kind of a relief. I hadn't had much alone time since Shari had entered the picture. Despite that, though, some stupid part of me missed her. The horny, ridiculous piece of me that's not worth listening to. I scrubbed off the mud and blood and prepared myself. Emilia hadn't given me strict instructions on how to present myself. Still, I figured a little more formal wouldn't go amiss. I trimmed my beard and braided my hair, then dressed in the finest silk shirt and trousers I had been provided. Which were incredibly soft and swishy. Which was weird. She had asked me to meet her at the gate. Before heading out, I heeded Carmella's warning, strapping my sword and dagger to my hip. I doubt it'll be necessary, but you never know what will happen. Someone might try to mug us. Or I might have to fend off Emilia from doing something in public. I grinned at the thought, doubting that even Carmella could stand in the way of Emilia and her desires.

I made it to the gate and looked around at the grounds as night fell. The finely manicured bushes, the polished statues. I caught my reflection in the water of a fountain and didn't recognize myself for a moment. I looked less tired. Like some noble who was a little sickly and didn't sleep quite enough. I sighed. It is weird that I'm here. Waiting for the queen's maid to take her somewhere. That I live in the castle, like some noble. I kept thinking about how Mrs. Johnson had been treating me. Like I was the trio's pet. And now I had Shari to think about. I shifted uncomfortably. After a moment, I heard clicking on the cobblestone path, and I looked up from my reflection and saw someone.

I didn't recognize the woman in front of me at first. She had changed everything about herself. She wore these tall heels that gave her five inches easily, bringing her up to about Shari's height. The shiny black dress she wore displayed her entire chest and stomach, wrapping around her throat and snuggly around her breasts. It also let her thighs, which were in thigh-high stockings, be seen entirely. Her thighs were squeezed gently by them, pushing up some of her flesh over them. I shifted uncomfortably, directing my gaze upwards. Her blood-red hair had let down from her usual tight braids and framed her face, making it more angular. The dark freckles that always stood out against the rest of her profoundly tanned skin had been muted by the blush she was wearing. She was wearing dark eyeshadow and blood-red lipstick. And her ears were very visible, sticking out tall and pointed. She stepped up to me, coming to my chin. I stammered. "E-Emilia. You look amazing."

"You don't think I normally look amazing?" She asked, giggling.

"O-of course I do, but I've never seen you like this."

She offered a gloved hand to me and I took it, squeezing tightly. She led me over to a carriage, and we climbed in. The driver ushered the horses forward, and we went into town. Emilia sat next to me, taking my entire arm and pressing it into her tightly. She rested her cheek against my shoulder, nuzzling it softly. With that same hand, I squeezed her thigh affectionately, and Emilia gasped softly before prying my fingers off her leg. She laced her fingers with mine and stroked my hand, leaning up to whisper in my ear breathily, "Now, Johann, I know you've missed me, but you need to be on your best behavior. What would people say if they saw the queen's consort molesting the poor, innocent maid?"

"I don't think I can do anything to stop those rumors. Lots of the staff are already very aware of at least some of what's going on," I said defensively. She looked up at me, and I shrugged. "But I suppose it was never going to remain a secret forever. Nothing ever does."

We made our way to the town and exited the carriage after half an hour or so. When we got out, we were in front of a large building with statues surrounding the entrance and a large sign that read FizBerry's Fantastic Fillings. Emilia instructed the driver and stepped up next to me, taking my arm. We went into the restaurant, and the man behind the podium looked us up and down, unimpressed. I could never understand that. I am practically drooling being this close to Emilia, I thought, trying to reign in my desire. In a polite but bored tone, the man said, "Reservation?"

"Two for Emilia Mia'Valur."

"Ah, yes. Right this way." We followed the man in his fine black clothes. Everyone in the restaurant was dressed at least as nicely. Emilia looks better than everyone, but I might be biased there. We were led to a small table and handed a menu casually. I went to sit down and stopped myself, noting that Emilia hadn't sat. I pulled out her seat and offered it to her, and she smiled and acquiesced, adjusting her dress as she did so. We sat down, and I grabbed the menu. Everything was written twice, once in a language I didn't recognize and again in the common tongue. I frowned. The common had words I'd never seen before, and I was trying to understand. Emilia was also considering the list, a soft smile stretching her red lips. I made a decision, and the waiter came around. I ordered a steak and potatoes, deciding to keep it simple. I also ordered some red wine, and Emilia raised a brow at me before ordering herself. She spoke in whatever primary language the menu was in. It didn't sound like Elven.

"Wine, Johann? Are you trying to get some liquid courage? Have I put you so off balance already when the night is so young?"

"I don't think I am allowed to be balanced around you," I replied, smiling at her.

"You're learning." She reached over and grabbed my hand.

"Took me longer than it should've," I replied, my smile stretching into a grin. The wine was delivered, and I took a sip, choking on it when Emilia spoke next.

"So, why haven't you slept with Shari?" Her voice was plain and even. I struggled to stop the wine from spilling out on my shirt and grabbed the napkin they had, dabbing at my mouth, trying to reclaim any control. The First Maid watched me, mirth sparkling in her pink eyes. I considered my words carefully, pouring her a glass. She took it and sniffed it before taking a slow sip. "Getting me drunk won't save you from this conversation."

"I know better than to think that," I muttered bitterly, then sighed. "Why do you all think I'm going to sleep with her? Why is this a goal of yours?"

"Goal of ours?" She asked, raising a brow. "You brought home a beautiful woman who slept in your bed for three nights, and we are to expect you to not sleep with her? Johann, we all have first-hand experience with your lust. We know that it's a near endless well."

"I brought home a cat! Actually, I didn't even bring her! She broke in and decided to stay."

"You saved her from execution. You stood up for her..." Her voice was small when she spoke next. "Like you did for me."

"Not like I did for you," I replied firmly. She met my eyes. "I defended you because it wasn't right how that moron was treating you. You weren't in immediate danger, and I stepped in because he wasn't showing you due respect. I defended her because her life was in danger, and I didn't want to see another person die. These are not analogous situations to me. You are more important to me. All of you are."

"For now," Emilia responded simply before finishing her wine and pouring herself another. I deflated and leaned back into my chair. "Don't pout, Cel'vin. I'm just being realistic. And it's fine if you're attracted to her. It's even fine if you fall in love with her. We know you love us. You show that a lot. Especially with little things like this."

"Taking you out is something that I want to do. It's fun. It's not to prove anything to you," I said petulantly.

"We know. I know, Nute. But we're just trying to give you a little more free reign over your life since we took you and have widely been running you in every direction."

"In the form of an Ipet-Mau thief."

"In the form of a beautiful Ipet-Mau woman who couldn't be showing any clearer interest in you. If she had crawled into my bed, she'd be my pet too. In every way." I took a deep breath, trying desperately not to picture the two in bed together. Shari is gorgeous, and Emilia, Meryl, and Carmella are all so stunning it's painful, I thought. Another voice in the back of my head sprang up from somewhere. I want them all. I want them to be mine. I want to be theirs. All of theirs. I shuddered and caught Emilia's sly grin. The alcohol was hitting her already. I could tell. Her face was darker than it usually was. And her eyelids were heavier than they typically were. From under the table, she pressed her foot into my leg and gently rubbed it up and down. Between her touch and the images I could not banish, I had to shift in my chair and lay a handkerchief on my lap to not expose myself in the restaurant.

Our food came, and she was soon more distracted by that. Thank the gods. We ate silently, enjoying each other's company. We skipped dessert, going to the next stop Emilia had planned. I paid for the meal, which had come out to two platinum pieces, with the somewhat generous tip I left. Meryl provided an allowance of sorts for various things I may need. Still, if everything was going to be this expensive, it would quickly be drained. Emilia had finished most of the bottle of wine and was unsteady in her tall heels, and I supported her back to the carriage. Not that I was complaining about that. She pressed herself hard into me, and I enjoyed her warmth and the feel of her soft body against me.

When we got back into the carriage, and the driver took off, she didn't pull away. Instead, she leaned in and kissed my neck. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her close, turning to face her. We kissed softly, and just as I was going to make another move, she pulled away. "Not tonight, Cel'vin. We're having fun, but I'm not ready for that much more just yet."

"Okay..." I muttered, leaning back in the seat, trying to take a few deep breaths. I was filled with more tension than after an entire day of crafting and installing horseshoes and pretty frustrated. She pulled my arm around her and curled into my chest.