All Comments on 'Charade Ch. 02'

I expected as much and you did not disappoint!

Thanks for sharing your story. I loved it. Please don't keep us waiting too long for the next one.

A little unusual and still very realistic. SO, you're gonna leave us guessing about what happens to their relationship? You need something good for them!!

You left out something. What on earth has Kim been doing for a social life for all those years?

I am wondering why he felt he needed to run Howard outa town after not being bothered by Kim's lover? He should have gotten both of them.

Good story, good writing, Blue. Keep 'em coming.

After so many years and seeing his first and probably only love it is understandable he would be drawn to her. The hurt would be a lot less though there.

I do agree with Nightowl22 that an epilogue chapter is a good idea and the points Nightowl22 brought up are valid.

I can see after his wife’s betrayal and his maturity he wasn’t going to let this second man who in his heart cuckold him, get by without some retribution from him. He new he needed some form of closure and this time he would extract this. Vengeance may not be intellectually correct, but it sure can help heal some feelings.

Your writing is wonderful and the story was different enough to make it enjoyable.

Thank you very much

With respect

jesus what crap

How many more times does this idiot have to get fucked by life?

doesnt he know by now that 80% of american woman of the 21st century are incapable of keeping the pussy off limits to men which are not their husbands

yes boy and girls in chap3 .... Kim and Jerry start datung then 3 years later she says opps sorry I am in love with a black man and his huge cock but I still love you....

Jerry says what his name... and Kim says

"well actually its the whole team of the San Fransico 49ers. They cant play worth a shit but they sure do like to fuck me...

Blue, this story was great, both this and the first part. At the end, they are not renewing their relationship but forging a new one. Your comments on Kim's growth as a person resolve the contradictions in her character that were so evident in the first story. Congratulations.

In part 1, he is in his office staring out over the Pacific, wondering wether to sell his company. In part 2, he has kept his company, but it is in Tampa.

But my bigger problem with the story is that he always runs away from problems. With Mary, he could have reconnected if he got rid of Howard 1st. OTOH, if he doesn't favor reconnect, why meet Kim again. OK, we are told that Kim has changed -- if so why would she want him? In Literotica tradition running away is strong and staying is "wimp"; but I think building a new relationship (with your partner) after an affair shows greater strength.

I like your stories, but this story just did not work for me. To me, Mary’s cheating with her ex-husband whom she and her child had not seen for 17 years just did not fit the character that you had written. She was a strong woman who loved Jerry; the man whom she had spent the last 17 years with and who had helped her raise her daughter to adulthood.

I understand that you needed to remove her character from the story so that Jerry could pursue Kim, but the mechanism used for her removal side-tracked the story and really lessened both Mary and Jerry’s characters. To be honest, after reading your story I ended up modifying that section of the story in my head.

Believe it or not that section of the story that did not work for me is the final straw that has finally inspired me to very seriously consider submitting stories of my own. And I do not mean that in bad way as a reflection of your story. It has been coming for a long time and recent stories I have read have been pushing me further in that direction. So I thank you.

Blue,

You know we readers always want more. There is never enough of a good story. Lots of us would have liked to see the happy ever after ending here but what you gave us is just fine. We all know they end up happy.

I am a "kick the bitch out" writer as you know, but as we look over this whole story Kim was immediately truly sorry about what she did to their marriage and made immediate changes to her life (resigning her loved job). They may have been able to work it out if he had stayed and found it in his heart to forgive her.

Thank you for a great effort. I too look forward to your next submission.

Charleybear

I'm sorta torn here.

On one hand, the guy never could seem to straighten out his life and it seemed like he was destined to be the "Legendary Sucker" in his life with women. He was almost an emotional cripple for almost all of this story.

And then on the other hand, he had enough heartache in his life to litterly write a story, so I can't begrudge him finially trying to find a way to be happy.

I think, at least I hope, you were after a romance story where the main character seemed to have a great love for the woman that seemed to stretch over time and space, but I'm not so sure that's what I felt from it.

I mean what I felt was that he never was really happy no matter what he did in life unless it was with Kim. That seems kinda strange. How do you live with someone, make love to someone, and raise a child with someone and never really love them? Or at least feel "some" form of love for them? And I believe you were trying to show that Kim realized her mistake and changed who she was, but that seemed kinda strange too. That she put her life on hold till he was ready for her.

It was a good story, but kinda felt out of kilter for me by chapter 2.

Also I thought if you were living with someone for more than 7 years it was considered a "common law marriage" in the eyes of the law and all assets were split up as if you had a marriage cerimony performed. But I might be wrong too, but I know in Indiana they have this (^_^)

very very good story liked it a lot.

Good Story, I really enjoyed reading it, Thanks.

excellent writing. I did have a few issues with the story itself, the main one being the time frame. (1)Without even realizing it two years had passed since I had moved to the west coast. (2)But after about two or three years I had enough help so that I was able to catch my breath and cut back a bit on the hours I was putting in. I again joined a gym and started working out. (3)Something I couldn't quite put my finger on. I, at first, thought that it was my imagination - after all, we had been together for almost 17 years.

that's a total of 21 years. difficult to believe someone is still carrying a torch and hasn't moved on with their life. it is possible but the reality of how much both people would have grown apart and changed, make the renewed attraction very questionable.

another question I have, in the first part when Kim became pregnant, she hadn't wanted to have children. why did she try to pass the pregnancy off on her husband and why did she not get an abortion. it left me wondering if she didn't really love the baby's father.

over all, a very good story and excellent read. a fan always.

I am going to give you a score of 75 on this story, but frankly, I did not really enjoy reading it. There were too many discordant elements in the story. Kim's adultry was straightforward and indicative of the typical American woman's attitude that they are entitled to cheat, so take it or leave it. Jerry rightly leaves it.

But then, there is the weird unveiling by his friend's wife (to what purpose???)and then the introduction of Mary and 17 years of...you tell me. She seems to be nothing more than an unnecessary story filler.

Then, lo and behold!!! here comes Kim again, refurbished as an MD, compassionate beyond all get-out, and sure to win the Nobel Prize (Not for medicine but for the world's most complete turnaround) Then quickly...very quickly...Kim and Jerry are dating. But here, "dear reader" supply your own final ending. Oh My!!! Same old cop-out when finishing stories is involved. The unwillingness of writers on Lit.com to really complete the stories, and madly rush to "The End", is making it less and less enjoyable to even read the stories. And in this case, specifically, the author missed an excellent opportunity for character development regarding the reconstructed Kim and her "new" relationship with her erstwhile looser husband. An awful lot of emotional interplay could have occurred, including coming to grips with "Dr" Kim's predilection for cheating. But the reader was deprived of all of that.

Cheers!

I liked this story. You carry your problems along with you. You may outlive or outgrow your pesonality but if you don't you keep repeating the same mistakes.

So this fealt real

I was beginning to wonder how many times Jerry was going to get kicked in the teeth. But over all I liked it. Seems he may finally get some happiness.

Blue88,

I used to say the writing of an author was pretty good; now I can say their grammar is pretty good. But the writing still sucks. By "writing" I mean the minor things like plot, dialogue, characterization. The mechanics were there but I have to agree with another commenter who said that something was missing. As I said in the title , I don't know which I hate worst, the writers who give a storyline that was all sex, demonstrating no charateizations and have no other reason for existing other than a stroke story OR those writers who have the ability to try to write a "serious" story but then totally fuck it up by giving us a charater placed in positions where he or she loses all sympathy and interest from discerning readers. To wit:

You protagonist might as well have a big L tatooed on his forehead and a sign on his back reading "Kick Me". He aroused not sympathy but pity. The person you paint for us should be tainted blue (no pun intended) and mutter "Thanks for noticing me".

You tried to stuff too great a time span in this story. Over 20 years! When you do that, you have to leave way too much out. What was the real reason Mary left after investing 17 years in a realtionship? Because she was addicted to a dick? Rather weak explaination. Where was the transition in his thinking? Because he was 50 and lonely? So much of this was contrived.

My advice is keep your timespans manageable. A year max. If you intend to cover more than that you have a lot of filler to provide. Don't make your main character so jello-like. And for God's sake don't make them a victim over and over again and DON"T try to rehabilitate a previous character that we had already decided was pretty much an oxygen thief. Redemption does happen but very,very rarely! In my view, even his friends in LA victimized him and enabled him to continue being a victim.

Well that is my take at least.

Cheers

C

I don't care what anyone else says. I liked it! There was a story. there was a plot. there was a plot within a plot. the characters were developed to the extent they needed to be. So for any naysayers if you don't like the story, write your own. Blue88 has given us a good read!

stargazer1145

Blue,

I really liked this story and I liked the twists and turns. You have done well and I fear there are too many "editors" on this site to appreciate a good story when they read it. Suspension of belief is necessary in fiction and whatever errors of editing there might have been, they did NOT detract from this well told story. You made us WANT the best of Jerry.

Author - you are very much appreciated for your talent, effort and imagination. Like some writers you have grown into an author and are still growing. There is a top end if you choose to install it.

There is much debate over him and his reactions short and long term. You know it doesn't matter what we feel although we can voice it here. What matters is how you now feel about your objective and whether you got there to your satisfaction. This while you glean what is helpful from these comments.

Some writers must feel that the more comments the better they did. I don't feel that is true. Some excellent stories have the comments dry up after all has been said once or twice. Then the scores tell the rest of the story.

So, in my opinion writers shouldn't write for comments caused by cute flops or 180's or non-sensical human reactions. They should write to tell a story as best they can and in the theme of marital consequence much emotion and interest is automatically stirred. It doesn't need a 400 horsepower motor attached to the stirringer. Well you know what I mean.

Lets keep in mind this is a short story of 2 chapters and of 6 or 7 pages. Man a lot happened here didn't it. And I don't think much if anything was truly space compromised in this fine effort.

So, now you are the writer. How do you develop a story plot and plot line for flow. If you have no story spine your words fall to the floor. If there is a weak spine there is a weak story. If you rush to judgement there are questions as to why so fast and where's the beef (reasoning).

For there to be a story of interest it must have a foundation and in this theme it needs to be a possible scenario from the life(s) portrayed. Without incidents it is rather bland and in a short story that is certain death.

Incidents are more than words in that they mix the characters and readers emotions to peaks and valleys then to a conclusion. A short story is a quiet challenge to writers as they become authors. Much needs to happen with flow in a short amount of space and words or purpose is compromised and reader interest wanes.

This author has reached a plane of comfort and accomplishment, as well he should given his accomplishments but more his growth. KUDO's to the 2nd power author.

In our efforts to shape him by comments he must reach a point where if he changes too much he isn't who he is and his interest wanes or his product becomes bland and predictable.

While there is in both writer and readers some comfort in prediction the taste of ice cream needs some flavoring as well. Life has so many facets, variables and inexplicable dark holes there is little chance for the components of this theme to become bland except by writer choice.

I have said and will again that is easier to write a beginning and middle of a story than the end. Writers feel emotion as well as readers but they must be diligent and maintain their standards until the last word. Failing that respect and credibility takes a hit. That is in large part a major growth factors from writer to author.

Reader obligation (whats that?) if pure is to help grow or support but doesn't mean just flowers when they aren't owed. It means being honest from your viewpoint whatever that is but most of all WHY !!! I once had a wise boss who said when you bring me a problem also bring your considered solution. I found that wasn't possible when I was emotionally charged and offended by the problem. Once calmed down I found I could be constructive. Point made?

Author - I really like your work and growth. I do have one question and it pertains to others as well.

If your best friend ran over and killed your dog it would be really bad but you could forgive him with his apologies and time. But if he ran over the next 2 or 3 replacements with the same apologies could you ever feel the way you used to - could you still be friends??? Maybe he will start running over your children next.

If your wife ran over your respect once - you might be able to recover but (well you know the rest don't you).

Just a thought - Thanks again Author - With High Regard

P.S. It isn't in my or I believe human nature to be a doormat more than once without a long and forever effect.

its not marriage again ...like with mary dont marry just live together .... at 50 why marry .... you have sold the company made bunches of money ...ok so live with her ...fuck others if the urge strikes .... and enjoy your last years any way you want to without marriage ...after all you have the money enjoy it

Your stories are just darn GOOD reading. It's not whether I agree with the characters or not. You just write so well. I have always enjoyed your stories and not afraid to say it and sign my name to the comments.

With the highest regards

DG Hear

But I could never really get into it. You didn't even manage to paint Paul as a likable character. I knew he was the one you wanted me to root for, but couldn't quite manage to know him well enough, except as a loser.

Your reason for Mary's cheating was paper thin - whey are the women in these stories brain dead when they meet up with a strange cock? Oh well!

You wrote a story that was about 7 lit pages, and the ending where he leaps back at Kim is covered in less than half a page - you gotta be joking - you have more chapters ready? Right?

I have to agree with loughboy's comment:

"Oh My!!! Same old cop-out when finishing stories is involved. The unwillingness of writers on Lit.com to really complete the stories, and madly rush to "The End", is making it less and less enjoyable to even read the stories. And in this case, specifically, the author missed an excellent opportunity for character development regarding the reconstructed Kim and her "new" relationship with her erstwhile looser husband. An awful lot of emotional interplay could have occurred, including coming to grips with "Dr" Kim's predilection for cheating. But the reader was deprived of all of that."

I feel cheated that you did not do us the courtesy of letting us in on your thoughts about where this relationship goes, what Kim was really like, and what actually makes Paul tick. You have to know the answers to all of these questions otherwise you could not have written the story so far. You should have told us.

The more I think about this non-ending crap I have come to believe it is sheer laziness - a successful ending is the hardest part of a story to write, causing so many authors to wimp out on any real attempt. Combine this with their fear of the reaction of the readers no matter which way they go makes the cop out to easy for them. Shame really, there are so many almost good stories floating around with no real ending.

O happy days. Happy trails to you. Such a sweet ending. And everone lived happily ever after. Bullshit!

It's twenty years later, by your reckoning, not mine, and he still loves her as much as he did in college. Bullshit!

I was married three times and I loved each of them with all my heart and all my soul. For varied reasons the marriages went south.

Do I give a damn today? Not on your life.

Do I still love them? Not at all.

Do I have any regrets? Many.

Did I make any mistakes? Several.

Am I less of a man than your main character? I think not.

I rarely think about them and I have no clue where any of them even live.

In fact, I wouldn't think of them at all if not for my love of playing "Hearts" on my computer. I exercise my option of naming my three opponents. You guessed it. My ex-wives are my opponents and I cuss them or praise them as the game dictates. I do try to 'kick ass' with each hand that is dealt. But, you can't win 'em all.

In summary, I like your writing but I rarely agree with your endings. I do hope you continue to post as long as we can agree to disagree. And I hope that future main characters are a tad brighter than this guy.

ps: I am not sorry if my opinion offends you or any of your other readers and supporters.

Blue:

One problem that seems to occur over and over again is that commentors forget just how twisted human relationships can be. I had a friend that married, divorced, and remarried the same woman; didn't take, they ended up splitting the blanket for good. Had another acquaintance who married his wife three times before they finally got it right, much to the surprise of everyone who knew them. It happens and whose to say why?

Another problem seems to be that we judge stories with our preconceived notions about what the "hero" should do based on our personal preferences and prejudices. Truth be told you have no idea until reality slaps you up alongside the head.

A couple of commentors caught you out on errors in the timeline; bitter experience taught me that when a story occurs over a long period of time a timeline has to be constructed with all pertinent data shown on it or it'll bite you in the butt, as it did to me on my first effort to write a long term story.

All in all it was a good story and well up to your usual. Thank You. Ronnie W.

A wonderfully written story which is more erotic than it seems! This is no "in and out and do it again" tale. Instead, it delves into real feelings and emotions and largely leaves the sexual aspects to the reader's imagination. It is an outstanding read, and I will recommend it to all my friends, most of whom can relate to it personally in some manner or another.

wordsworth@literotica.org

Liked the story but I don't think it has an ending. No closure on way too many subjects and only two weeks of "dating" ???

The only part of the story I didn't like was the ending, there is NO WAY IN HELL any guy in his right mind would take her back, and for him to believe that she was not the same person she was before, would lead me to believe he is a complete idiot. But other than the ending I loved the rest of the story.

fine tale but if i put myself in his position it would not matter one bit if it was a day or 10 centuries no woman would be worth going through that pain agian. as i go down the road of life i wonder is there only one perfect mate or is this one just conveniently located at the smae spot as i.

The story was good, but left me feeling it was not finished. The ending was too abrupt and it needs more of the "new" Kim.

Oh dear, yawn, yawn. You do drag things out and write a lot of superfluous nonsense instead of getting to the nitty gritty. The main character was a dullard, who, unless someone else took the initiative would do nothing. He let things happen to him and only reacted to other's actions.

As for the poetic verses - pretentious!

I have been through cuckoldry and can empathise with the pain it causes but I took the initiative and dealt speedily with the offender. Why didn't he deal with Kim's lover as he did with Mary's?

He was a weak nerd who let others make the decisions in his life and I am disappointed after reading through this two - parter story for very little enjoyment.

Excellent story, very well told. The fact that I would or whould not do like the protagonist is irrelevant. What matters that it sounded realistic and compelling to read.

Great job. Thanks.

I will compliment you in more than one way. You not only drew me into the story both by style and by content, but even where I felt that I had some problems, there was an upside to it. It made me work on figuring it out way after I finished reading it (thus the delay in my comments). In order to explain my problem, let me go back for a moment to Aristotle (sorry about that…). In “Poetics”, Aristotle sites the two principles of organizing any written material: The principle of Selection and the principle of Combination. Clearly you have to curve your materials out of the universe of potential topics, and then come the all important art of manipulating the selected materials, so that they create the desired effect.

On the level of the second principle, I was very pleased (putting aside for now the given materials which you selected). Given the very claustrophobic universe of only two women with whom the main character bonds and given the similarity in these women’s behavior, you actually convinced me with the plot. It may be one in a million, but the particulars were convincing. You were relentless in your effort to build the characters credibility, and it paid. The cheating of the young wife happened when she was very young, with her upbringing and the sense of entitlement that comes with it. Twenty years passed, and you provided enough evidence that she changed. You even provided a rounded depiction of the husband's character (a rarity), which means that he is not totally saint like. His tragic flaw of course is in not being fully authentic himself. No, it’s not cheating on your wife, not in the common sense. But in a way it is cheating, in a more subtle way, on both yourself and whoever is with you. He never discloses his infertility. “The issue is mute” he vainly argues. Beware of unintended consequences a wise person could have advised him. Throw the calculations to the air and just be totally honest with each other. The same happened with the second woman. A lot was left unsaid. There was no love. Again, no crime, but yes, he settled for being un authentic, cumulative price for self neglect to be paid later on a grand scale. I just loved the subtlety of the issue (how many among us can claim innocence of living unauthentic lives?).

It’s only when I go back to the first principle – the selection, that I have problems. Why do I feel that this narrative is bordering with the obscure and the improbable. Yes, it COULD happen, and as many would hasten to do, examples of real life would soon emerge too.

But to me this story just does not feel like it happens in our times in America, at least not in the last hundred years. It’s like there is a disconnect between the street; the life looking at you from the window – and the thick layer of romantic view which seems to super impose itself on your talented writing. Why could not this suffering soul ever find anyone deserving his love, other than this one first love and than a convenient life with another? Where was the crucial impediment to happiness in his life? I could not find an answer to this key question IN the story. It feels in your writing like you are rooting to be the last bastion of an ancient form of chivalrous or courteous love, where unfulfilled love was ok as long as you kept your loyalty to the unattained female (which was the case in his heart). But for the sake of authenticity, this time with the world of now days, could you mix some fresh air of reality from America’s life today (no obscure stories) and combine it with your values?

My qualms so far were with what you could be doing even better, that is, if you were inclined to do so. But it’s a pleasure to come back to the fact that you are so very good at what you do choose to write about On that you will find only few who could equal your talent.

without missing any thing. there's no emotinal tug of any kind, with any of the characters,,, the main protagonist is simply sharing rough summaries with us, from Vietnam to meeting Kim again in Florida, now in his late 40s and early 50s, after some 20 odd years of having ran away from her, only to end up raising another man's child.

not a cuckhold? yeah, sure! if he stayed with Kim he would likely have raise the one man's child (assuming she didn't have a miscarriage, because she'd get to fuck around and have the nice dorky hubby to take care of her when she got hom from fucking around, without questions, which contribute to her stress); but he didn't stay in that situation; he left but only to become a parent who raise another cuckoo guy's offspring,,,

The Charade is that there is a point to this mindless drivel

I never got around to commenting on this!

Well, I disagee with just about everyone. I think it was a geart story and I say that with no reservations.

This was very well written, flowed nicely, had great characterization.

Yeah, maybe a sequel would be nice but it's not necessary.

Congratualtions on a fine story. I don't have your bookmarked as a favorite for nothing!

Regards, DJ

I absolutely loved this story. Several people have commented that it deserves another chapter to conclude it. I agree.

I would personally hope to see a segment where Jerry and Kim get back together and where her character changes are explored. Although many have said Jerry's attraction to Kim after all these years is a weakness, I have always felt that the ability to give true forgiveness is the sign of a strong character. After all he has been through Jerry deserves to have a happy ending to his life.

Keep em' coming. Loved the stories. Love all of your stories. Stay active.

I am a little late reading your story compared to the time it was posted. I enjoy your writing, and thank you for the effort. It has brought pleasure to my life.

My following comments are not directd to you as the author, as I believe that you have the sole right to determine the actions that your charectors take.

That being said, in my experience, I have never met a woman who can respect a nice guy. They all say they want one, but only to provide the "warmth" they want, never to love and cherish. That is kept for the bastards.

I like your description of the male in this story. I like that he never gave up who he is to satisfy the infintile lust of the women in the story, and those that think being a solid friend and lover is a weakness.

Read your story when it came out and enjoyed it very much. The comments were what I expected: mostly positive, some negative and a few assinine. Keep up your good writing.

Boyd

for the wimps the world is so small...they find only their cheating ex wife...there are no others women on Earth

So much bullshit in your stories that i have to not read you again...you filthy old wimp animal, you need medical help

The mindless drivel expressed is adequate justification for the anonymous handle. I feel sorry for anyone who cannot find it in themselves to forgive, if not forget. Oh by the way, nice story.

Nicely done.Love the story and the twist and turn of the story.Codos!

All in all, this was a very nice tale. There were enough twists and turn to keep it interesting, and for the first time in a long while I felt I was reading a story where the author had put a genuine effort into compiling a series of events that flowed nicely from one to the next. A nice short novel. I think that this is what writing should be all about. Creating something and holding the readers interest. Good job.

I give it a 75 only though. Thats because I agree with one of your detractors to a degree. How IS the world so small that he leaves his cheating wife only to wind up with her in the end? How is it that SHE is the only woman he can truly find to love? I know we tend to be attracted to a certain kind of people and will gravitate to that type even if its bad for us, but come on. To leave Kim only to end up with another cheater who breaks his heart in the end. It just breaks the bounds of suspension. You know that suspension of disbelief that you authors rely on so much?

It was a well written story, most if not all your stories are well written. I just have a hard time stomaching some of the conclusions is all.

Grant in Newfoundland.

I still would not trust her!!

This is a nicely written story that follows the typical Blue88 formula. Nice guy, struggling and destitute, macho killing machine through military training, growing up "on the streets," or whatever gets cuckolded by his wife (or girlfriend) and then he totally wimps out, can't make it without his first, long-lost love (never mind she cheated on him) whereupon he then reconciles, often blaming himself. This version was coherent and kept this reader's interest. I enjoyed the story even though the plot was weak and duplicates this author's plots from his other stories, at least figuratively. Sterility seems to be a theme in a number of the stories and it seems to play an important roll in the cheating.

can apply to your story as well. You are one of the very best. I never tire of your tales.

"Anonymous in Canada" took the words right out of my mouth.

"I have never met a woman who can respect a nice guy."

Enjoyed it from beginning to end. This guy reminds me

of me. He is too nice to everyone and this often encourages

assholes.....

You wrote a great story I appreciated immensely. Thanks

A superbly written story. As DG Hear so correctly observed, “ It's not whether I agree with the characters or not. You just write so well.” You know you have written well when authors such as DG and cageytee praise your work. You may also be sure that the story is excellent when people such as Harry in Va (aka little mind) pan it. With great admiration for your talent, Bigchefwayne

A very well written story carefully thought out & well executed. I couldn't read the 2 parts in one sitting as I became very busy and I can tell you honestly I was waiting with glee as I knew when my work would permit I had a hell of a good story to look forward to finishing.

Thank you for your time, effort and imagination

A very well written story carefully thought out & well executed. I couldn't read the 2 parts in one sitting as I became very busy and I can tell you honestly I was waiting with glee as I knew when my work would permit I had a hell of a good story to look forward to finishing.

Thank you for your time, effort and imagination

A very well written story carefully thought out & well executed. I couldn't read the 2 parts in one sitting as I became very busy and I can tell you honestly I was waiting with glee as I knew when my work would permit I had a hell of a good story to look forward to finishing.

Thank you for your time, effort and imagination

You have not written anything in a while.

Your stories are excellent. Please continue to write.

a well written story and saying that you have a firm grasp on human behavior is an understatement. What I have observed and evidently so have you, is that you never forget your first true love. If that love ends badly then you never really love as deeply or with such passion again. It's pretty much a defense mechanism to prevent from becoming devastated again. Some people go through their entire lives jumping from one relationship to another trying to capture that passion again and end up being alone. You portrayed this very well in your story. I was hoping there was a chapter 3 to see if Jerry and Kim would either realize that they had both changed so much that they no longer felt the same level of passion like most couples or that the changes were acceptable and they could begin to build on that. It seems like that's where you were headed and I realize it would be awfully difficult to express those feelings but I figure if anybody could do it you could. Great Story, the only reason I didn't give you 100 was because I think with a little more effort you could have really had a great ending. Thank you, I enjoyed it. When reader wants more you know they really enjoyed it.

That's not the point though. The author still treats men poorly in this tale as he does in all of his tales. This man is broken or defective in a fairly common way. He doesn't need a shrink or anything. He just needs to realize that he is drawn to cheating sluts the same way that some women are drawn to bad boys or violent boyfriends. Some other men are drawn to damsel's in distress sort of a white knight syndrome. These relationships rarely work out well, especially if the defective one is oblivious to the problem. Once they realize they have a problem they can take steps to prevent it in the future. Sadly our poor man in this story is still a victim of his predilection for sluts and will probably live a miserable life for the foreseeable future. Again I'm not sad that Blue88 is inactive this kind of writing deserves to fall of the map. Not because of his technical style. He's a damn fine writer, it's his plots that turn my stomach. Sadly there are plenty of others with the same taste in writing to fill the gap

You have restored by faith in this site. Your talent is examplary. You are both techniqually correct and very skilled. I am certain that you will be published some day.

anon jerry

Now, that's what I call good friends. In so many of these stories, the friends turn out to be not-so-good. They accuse the victims of being cold-hearted by not taking the cheating spouse back. They don't tell the unsuspecting, faithful spouse what their deceitful partner is up to. But Rachael is truly a good friend, and her husband, too. To give her friend a little up close and personal sexual wake-up is what I call being a friend. I wouldn't mind having a few friends like that, especially if they were single!

spoiled girl. And lives for years part of a life still trying to live in the past. There is no way in hell a man could go back to a woman that did the things she did without just cause. Sorry your attempt at a love story of two people that were never destined to be together in the first place makes almost no sense and borders on the mentally ill.

What utter nonsense. Kimberly was an unmitigated cheater. She took her lovers cum into her body with lust aforethought. NO amount of TIME can excuse her behavior and NO amount of TIME can justify forgiveness. She WAS and remained a SLUT.

love it when you wrote how he spent hours wondering if he did the right thing leaving her, she spent the night with her lover on their anniversery came home and roared at him for forgetting, hadn't had sex with him in months, was pregnant and try to get him to raise the child.I DON'T THINK YOU READ YOUR STORIES EITHER THAT OR YOU ARE RETARDED.

Consolidated comments on both parts. Things held up well until the end of the relationship with Mary. Way too many holes left unresolved for a 20 year relationship. Reestablishing the relationship with Kimberly did not ring true either. Even accepting that Mary is simply a plot device to get from point A to point B, her part in the story was integral to Jerry's world view.

This is a pet peeve and happened at least 3 times in the first part of the story. First, I don't know where the habit comes from but it should be stopped. It spoils much of the suspense in the story. An example from ":Charade" is:

"My inability to sire children would come back to haunt me later in life."

The reader does not need, and I don't want to see this ahead of the action.

Second, the author's device of leaving out information in the story is an insult to the reader. I suppose that a man or two would keep the fact that he wasn't fertile from his woman, but not in this story. It is a cheap way to create a problem later for the couple.

Too many LW authors create dishonesty between couples, even early in a relationship, to have some disaster to write about later. How about using some more mental power to create a better story. Please.

i think you made a mistake, she only got knock up by one fellow at least he could have hung on for two or three then maybe he might not have felt so bad about divorcing her. YOUR STORIES ARE SO FUCKING STUPID I'M NOT SURE YOUR EVEN HUMAN.

Cheaters happen! That's no excuse to wimp out and get back together with them.

i think the story is not finished and would like to see more of thier life and what happened

Indeed, it was a bitter-sweet tale at best. Life seemed not to deal him the best of hands. Two crushing relationships would have been about enough to destroy most of us.

I think I liked your ending and found it an appropriate place to end it. It is not like a reconciliation of his first marriage, because neither are what they once were. She has redeemed herself by life that she has lived and now they can perhaps move on as new rather than old lovers.

As I have commented many times to others, not all good stories are happy ones. Thank you for an excellent story.

He effectively lets these women off the hook, esp mary. They screw him over and he is the decent one. Going full circle does not alter the what has been done, and a precursor of what they are capable of.

Another direction and new possibilities, and that is my pov

It was very well written as a story-- it felt like something that had really happened in real life. Little details and the characterization.

Given the arc of time to pass through it was necessary summarized in some parts. It wasn't superhot as porn to me but I found it worth my time to read and was satisfied when it was done.

Enjoyed this story except maybe the ending, or is there more?

KEEP WRITING your a very good Author

those creampies something fierce, now he's back in the game

great story about how a retarded man gets by in the U.S.

I have read a lot of stories where after being screwed both physically and mentally they make a romantic recovery of their relationship. This guy obviously has some self image issues, probably in the area of self punishment, and needs these kinds of women and pain to survive. He deserves what he gets. Reading about stupid people bores me.

Life can be as strange as this story. Very good character development. Hated it that Jerry was hurt like he was, but that's life. Very good story, I'll be looking for more of your work.

Well done ..... You developed the characters beautifully. And to all those derogatory comments ..... People change and those that don't I wouldn't want as friends

Bringing him and Kim back was very contrived obviously, but what bothers me is that he spent 20 years suffering in his heart from her horrible actions. I'm glad the baby died a month in, she would have just fucked up it's life like she did his.

It would be a nice endnig scene of him taking her out to sea on a nice boat, tying her up to a chair and some weights and dumping her over board. It won't get back his twenty lost years but it will end her finally.

Now obviously that's not something that would ever happen, but it is attempt at closure fir this guy who as been shitted on totally by the two women e put his trust in. And that is what this story lacked, closure.after following this poor sods life we aren't left with anything except possibly dread that once he lets his guard down again kim is just gonna shit all over him again, maybe this tine with dr.big cock? Don't know what but with this guys track record he's definitely not going to come out the winner.

Why is it in the "LOVING WIVES" stories the husband is a stupid wimp? Most of them the husband loves and forgives the wife for being a super slut. Their are a few writers out there who are more realisitic in the stories.

... enough said ... right BLUE BALLS!!!!

I agree with the comments about well-developed characters. I disagree with the "wimp" comments. Jerry dealt with the betrayals.

I also agree with the comment noting that "people change." Kim is obviously a much different person, much more mature.

Again, good work Blue!!!

A couple anachronisms. If he was in Vietnam, then his studio would not have a 'used' computer. The personal PC was years away. It was well after 76 before the Texas Instrument computer came out and it really didn't do much. The Eighties were the very start of the computer revolution.

The call to 911. That was a change in the 70's. Not sure when but I believe it started in NY. Florida? Not so much then. But I could be wrong.

Let's see. Gyms. Always around but Jane Fonda exercise stuff started around 82.

I'm not sure of your timeline but they struck me as questionable developments.

Not the story. The story was pretty good. Although, I have to agree that he is kind of a sap. He is not a wimp. He is just kind of a pouty individual. What is stupid are the comments from idiots and there comments. They wouldn't know a clue if it was handed to them in an envelope.

This had to be your worst written story of any that I've read to date. A pretty senseless story line with far too many time gaps plus rather poor character development were bad enough but throw in the fact that there was no real ending to this story (as usual, regretfully) and what you have is a very bad read.-

lonewolf3307

and going for a double. TK U MLJ LV NV

Victim of amoral working slut woman

What makes the guy a sap (and induces cognitive dissonance in the reader) is her attempt to make him believe it was his child. Without that plot element more people would believe the reconciliation.

No...weird, as are the twists in your story. I must agree with some of the comments about character development, plot, and several other elements. On the whole, it is better than many other authors' offerings; however, I think you can improve. An editor experienced in a story's genre can do far more for you than grammer and punctuation.

You ruined my life and want to play friends - eat shit and die!

The ending was TOTAL SHIT. A crazy woman as a doctor--give me a break.

Here is my ending.

Jerry meets the cheating bitch that got knocked up by another man. They have dinner at the family residence with Mr. and Mrs. Van Horn.

He sits there with them all and has Kim express how much she is hurt about what happened then she talks about her being a doctor and how much she has done for other people. That she feels good being appreciated for her work.

Then Jerry speaks. I am glad you have good days. I have never had a good day. You fucked up my ability to have a warm, loving and trusting relationship. I have money and loneliness and that is it. Everyone I ever loved abandoned me and you were the first to start me on that path. You have ruined my life, but it is ok, you have a good life and I am just a passing thought as to what might have been. But in the end, that is ok, you have the love of your parents, your profession, the adoration of those you help and have probably found many men to love and I have just been a fleeting thought.

But you see, I am not a fleeting thought, I am the person you crushed. I am the person whose entire existence you poisoned and killed. I am just a shell of a man.

But I can help you understand.

Then he can see it in their eyes. Yes they finally understand; Mr. and Mrs. Van Horn and Kim too. Yes they see and I have helped them do it. I have made them better people. I smile knowing that the 20 gauge shotgun shell on the modified .45 caliber American Derringer frame will soon leave them with a permanent memory of how she destroyed me. I barely hear the sounds coming out of their mouths as the Derringer exploded in my mouth and the top of my head becomes a permanent part of the expensive ceiling and the blood drips onto their designer plates and the lace table cover.

Yes now Kim will forever remember what she did to me, there will never be any moment she does not remember it.

i like my ending best.

Here is my ending.

Jerry meets the cheating bitch that got knocked up by another man. They have dinner at the family residence with Mr. and Mrs. Van Horn.

He sits there with them all and has Kim express how much she is hurt about what happened then she talks about her being a doctor and how much she has done for other people. That she feels good being appreciated for her work.

Then Jerry speaks. I am glad you have good days. I have never had a good day. You fucked up my ability to have a warm, loving and trusting relationship. I have money and loneliness and that is it. Everyone I ever loved abandoned me and you were the first to start me on that path. You have ruined my life, but it is ok, you have a good life and I am just a passing thought as to what might have been. But in the end, that is ok, you have the love of your parents, your profession, the adoration of those you help and have probably found many men to love and I have just been a fleeting thought.

But you see, I am not a fleeting thought, I am the person you crushed. I am the person whose entire existence you poisoned and killed. I am just a shell of a man.

But I can help you understand.

Then he can see it in their eyes. Yes they finally understand; Mr. and Mrs. Van Horn and Kim too. Yes they see and I have helped them do it. I have made them better people. I smile knowing that the 20 gauge shotgun shell on the modified .45 caliber American Derringer frame will soon leave them with a permanent memory of how she destroyed me. I barely hear the sounds coming out of their mouths as the Derringer exploded in my mouth and the top of my head becomes a permanent part of the expensive ceiling and the blood drips onto their designer plates and the lace table cover.

Yes now Kim will forever remember what she did to me, there will never be any moment she does not remember it.

when one knows the answer they are looking for. TK U MLJ LV NV

Wimpish ending. He started dating the slut again? Not acceptable at all.

this was so fucked up on so many levels. i have my own nasty ending -

i like my ending best.

Here is my ending.

Jerry meets the cheating bitch that got knocked up by another man. They have dinner at the family residence with Mr. and Mrs. Van Horn.

He sits there with them all and has Kim express how much she is hurt about what happened then she talks about her being a doctor and how much she has done for other people. That she feels good being appreciated for her work.

Then Jerry speaks. I am glad you have good days. I have never had a good day. You fucked up my ability to have a warm, loving and trusting relationship. I have money and loneliness and that is it. Everyone I ever loved abandoned me and you were the first to start me on that path. You have ruined my life, but it is ok, you have a good life and I am just a passing thought as to what might have been. But in the end, that is ok, you have the love of your parents, your profession, the adoration of those you help and have probably found many men to love and I have just been a fleeting thought.

But you see, I am not a fleeting thought, I am the person you crushed. I am the person whose entire existence you poisoned and killed. I am just a shell of a man.

But I can help you understand.

Then he can see it in their eyes. Yes they finally understand; Mr. and Mrs. Van Horn and Kim too. Yes they see and I have helped them do it. I have made them better people. I smile knowing that the 410 shotgun shell on the modified .45 caliber American Derringer frame will soon leave them with a permanent memory of how she destroyed me. I barely hear the sounds coming out of their mouths as the Derringer exploded in my mouth and the top of my head becomes a permanent part of the expensive ceiling and the blood drips onto their designer plates and the lace table cover.

Yes now Kim will forever remember what she did to me, there will never be any moment she does not remember it.

hey, i liked karen when he dumped the cunt.

To 'can'tbuymylove'. Really didn't like your ending the first time you foolishly put it out but you made your point. After twice more, you just look stupid.

Your story was extreme in the sadness it caused your hero. Oh well.

A very sad story !

I wish the main character had man up earlier in life, ad he proved he could fight for a cause by seeing off Mary's ex husband.

You tend to appreciate and grasp tightly onto the idea that people can grow and develop even after the age of 6 when we have most of what we will be ingrained in us - it takes work and usually a profound event to force us to see that we need to change - then we become that yet 3rd person for our lives to continue -

Most of us simply grew old - change a bit become an older us - few live to see ourselves change dramatically even if we need to LOL

Interesting premise and very valid - you write about it well thank s-

Mary wrap up..... Missing

Daughter wrap up ..... Missing

4*. Too much left hanging