Charles & Midori Pt. 09

"So you're gonna sit around here and play with yourself for a few hours?" Midori asked.

"That's fine as long as he cleans up," Zoe said. "Our porn room is the last one down that way."

"Of course you'd have a porn room," Midori joked. "Just this one time, Charles. After this, you'll never have to go clubbing again."

"Now you're gonna get killed when we go home."

"Given how long it's been since you've killed me, I welcome that."

Charles would have quickly grown bored being in a club without his headphones and his own music, but he and Luke were enjoying a conversation with a woman they had met. Charles was sitting down because dancing was not something he could even pretend to enjoy (he did not consider moshing dancing). Luke was with him so he would not get lonely. The random woman asked if the two of them were a couple, and Charles and Luke pointed out their partners dancing with each other like they were in their 20s again.

"Looks like you both married up," the woman said.

"I'm not married," Charles said, holding up his hands. "My partner and I are antigamists."

"Antigamists?"

"Break the word down. You know anti, right?"

"Of course."

"Gamy. What words does that bring to mind?"

"Monogamy and polygamy...ah. Gotcha. Well done. I've always enjoyed neologisms."

"I'm not sure if I've invented the word, but no word processor I've ever used seems to recognize it."

"Keep saying it in public, and it might catch on. Billie."

"Charles."

"Luke."

Billie asked for their drink orders, then came back with a round for the three of them, saying her wife could get her own drink.

Meanwhile, Midori had gone to empty out, and she got into a conversation with a dark skinned woman adjusting her look.

"That's the fanciest choker I've ever seen," she commented.

"My wife got it for me instead of an engagement ring," the woman said. "I gave her a

similar bracelet when we got married."

"I'm guessing she's here, too?"

"Of course. I saw her talking to some guys, then she got them drinks."

"Yeah, I think one of those guys was my partner. Midori."

"Bobbi. I'm a Double Indian."

"Blackfeet and Punjabi?"

"Are you stalking me?"

"No, I heard someone I know talk about knowing you in high school." Midori's heart started racing. She took in Bobbi's look, seeing how Charles would have been attracted to her, coupled with what he had said lived in her mind. "Double Indian is something you tend to remember. What brings you to Toronto?"

"My wife and I couldn't afford a honeymoon. It's seven years later, and that's lucky, so here we are."

"Okay, because we know at least one or two of the same people, I'm going to ask you a totally random question, if that's okay," Midori said as she took out her phone and texted Charles, hoping that he would notice. "Sorry, my ma asked where I was. You do not have to answer."

"I'm a pretty open book nowadays. Shoot."

"Are you someone who holds onto grudges?"

"Maybe a few, but just a few." Bobbi thought for a second. "I don't know anyone who wasn't stupidly angry when they were younger, and boy do I have stories about that sort of thing. And then I can tell you about other people getting stupidly angry. Why that question?"

"Just something I wonder about others. I'm...I'm working on that, myself."

"Well, as an indirect stranger in a Canadian dance club bathroom, I wish you the best in that journey."

"Thanks." Midori left the bathroom and started towards the table. Charles saw her and held up a bottle he had gotten for her, meaning he had not noticed her text. "Fuck." She picked up the pace, panicking when she saw the look on his face. "Fuck." The fact that she was not the target was what prevented a full anxiety attack, but when Bobbi overtook her, her breath changed.

If looks could kill, Billie's facial expression would have thrashed him until he was urinating blood as it clicked for her. Bobbi's countenance would have pummeled, mangled, and then thrashed Charles until he was urinating blood. Luke and Zoe were just confused as a random woman walked up to Charles and punched him in the nose.

"Who the fuck are you?" Zoe demanded.

"Stay out of this," Bobbi growled as security approached.

"It's fine!" Charles shouted, glad he was not bleeding. "We were already leaving."

"The fuck you are," Bobbi said.

"You don't need to get thrown out of here," Charles said. "I know I can't make up for that night, and I'm not going to try. I'll leave you alone forever."

Somehow, Charles and Midori managed to get outside without any further trouble. Luke and Zoe soon followed, but Bobbi was hot after them.

"We're still going to have words, Charles," she shouted. "Right now."

"Go," Midori said. "We'll catch up."

"You're staying here?" Charles asked

"If she hits you again..."

"It's not like I don't..."

"You do not deserve this, Charles."

"Maybe not, but don't do anything. Even if she stabs me, don't do anything."

Bobbi caught up and swung again. Charles ducked and Bobbi hit the nearby post.

"If we're going to do this, can we just talk?" he asked.

"Only because I'll break my hand if I do hit you. Your whore can leave us."

"Midori had nothing to do with anything. She can do as she likes."

"And I'm staying right here," Midori said. "I saw you hit my partner."

"Do you know what he did to me?"

"Yes, believe it or not. Charles told me about meeting you when you were kids and when you went to high school together. He told me how he felt about you and what he was going through that night. It was shitty, and I don't like that he did that. I agree that you should still hate him. But I won't let you swing on him."

"Midori, relax!" Charles took a breath, surprised that he had yelled. "Let's all take a deep breath." He watched as neither of the women did anything as Billie caught up to them. "Let's talk about this like adults."

"From the guy who crashed our reception?" Billie asked.

"That night, I'd found out the woman I thought I'd be dating was seeing someone else, and I used beer as medicine," Charles said. "I have no excuse, but I was still in a shit mental state, and I've had to live with that since then."

"Do you know what happened after you left?" Bobbi asked. "First, Billie's friends thought that I had cheated on her with you, and her parents thought that I had a shitton of baggage. Jimmy thought you'd lost your marbles (which clearly you had), and all of my friends were wondering how I'd met that crazy guy. And that was just from that night."

"You have every right to be angry at me," Charles stated. "I'm not proud of anything I did that night, and I hate who I was that year for so many reasons. But we can be reasonable about this. Time's passed, and we've grown up."

"Not good enough, fuckstick," Bobbi responded.

"I understand why you wouldn't trust me when I said I'd leave you alone forever..."

"Not good enough!"

"Then what do you want?" Charles was trying not to yell, but it happened. "I've found happiness similar to yours in a way that I prefer, so dying is out of the question!"

"Well, since you won't have a wedding that we can crash, we'll have to find another way," Billie said. "Like full castration."

"Okay, this is getting ridiculous," Charles commented.

"We're just getting started." Billie pulled out her butterfly knife. "Hope you like sitting to pee."

"Run!" Midori punched Bobbi in the mouth and took off. Charles was fast behind her, the two of them scrambling into Luke's car as he drove them away.

"What happened?" Luke asked. "Who were they?"

"Ghosts of my Shitmas Past," Charles said. "We are never going to Omaha."

"Two votes," Midori agreed. "We should probably also move soon."

"I still see ads for her dad's HVAC services. Bobbi is not going back there until both of them are deep in the dirt."

"What are you on about?" Zoe asked.

Charles gave them the quick version of the story (gap, speed dating, Googling while drunk). Zoe and Luke were in Midori's camp, agreeing that he had royally fucked up that night, but this was way too far.

"I'm pretty sure they could go to jail for that," Zoe said.

"I'm going to let that shit go," Charles said. "I'm just...I don't know. Bobbi deserves to be happy, and I'm glad she is."

"She can sit on a cactus, like you said," Midori commented. "The bitch hit you in the nose."

"I had it coming."

"No, you didn't," Luke said. "She could have welcomed you saying you'd leave her alone forever."

"And her wife was about to knife you," Midori added.

"I've met Bobbi's parents, and I told you about their attitude towards her orientation. I ruined the best night of her life, and given all the shit she had to eat when we were in high school and after..."

"It's like you said about Doffy," Midori cut in. "True and deep tragedy is not licence to be a dick."

"I heard the woman who gave birth to Bobbi call her a sick and deviant cunt," Charles said. "I was there in the room when the man who impregnated that woman threatened to choke her if he had to make dinner for the person she was dating at the time. I appreciate you being on my side here, but after I'd learned the truth of her life, I can't just let you talk about her like that. She and I were friends."

"As probably the queerest person here," Zoe said, "Midori's right. Just like Doffy, she doesn't get to be evil because you fucked up her night."

"I guess we're agreeing to disagree about this," Charles said. "I've thought about that night enough in the past few days."

The drive back to Midori's parents' house was mostly silent. Everyone else was asleep when they got back, so Midori took out a beer since she did not get to have the one at the club and Charles took one for himself. The night was warm enough, so they gathered a few more bottles and sat on the deck.

"I think I know why I was so upset when I found out Jaaved got married," she said.

"We've opened enough old wounds tonight."

"Just hear me out. He and I managed to ruin each other's lives for a bit, but then he ruined mine and I could not do the same to him, not that that would justify anything. Then I'd found my happiness with you in the way that I prefer, to borrow your phrasing, and suddenly I learn that he's done the same, and it pisses me the fuck off."

"Not sure I follow."

"I don't want to see him happy. I don't exactly want to see Jaaved unhappy, and I certainly don't want to wake up and learn that he was found unresponsive in a ditch, but I don't want to see him happy. I'm just shite that way, I suppose."

"I refuse to believe that you're shite in any way, Midori."

"Well, it's another thing for my therapist. Where are you going?"

"Gotta drain it."

"The yard's that way."

"It's your parents' yard."

"There's squirrels and rabbits and raccoons and who knows what else pissing here all the time." Midori stood up. "Two humans won't make any appreciable difference."

"Let the record reflect this was your idea," Charles said as he stood by the tree closest to the deck.

"Lock it in." Midori lifted her skirt and moved her panties. The night was quiet except for the sounds of liquid (and a bit of gas) escaping. The two put themselves away and went back to the deck. They opened another pair of bottles and clinked them, downing those in silence.

Mrs. D walked out onto the deck the next morning, seeing her daughter's hand on a particular region of her partner's body. Her daughter's partner's hand was on a similar region of her daughter's body. Mrs. D slammed the door and the two jumped as their eyes slowly opened.

"Why the hell is the door so loud?" Midori asked, rubbing her head.

"Would you care to explain this?" Mrs. D asked.

"Looks like Charles and I passed out in the middle of fondling each other," Midori said, shielding her eyes from the sun. "Doesn't look like we wet ourselves." She felt her crotch. "Nope. But now that I've mentioned it..."

"What if Marty had seen you?"

"Then Miki would have a reason to talk to her kid, I guess." Midori got up and went inside.

"What do you have to say?" Mrs. D asked.

"Sometimes I get caught in Midori's rhythm, and this is where we end up," Charles answered. "Are you going to ask any probing questions, or will you respect our boundaries?"

Mrs. D was about to answer, but Charles went inside. Midori was already taking a shower, so he waited, then went in after her. When both were dressed, they went down to find Mrs. D making breakfast.

"We're going out for dinner tonight," she said.

"Charles and I didn't bring formalwear," Midori said.

"We're just going to Dump the Dumplings since they're closing shop."

"Oh." Midori had always found their food barely mediocre at best. "What time?"

"Probably when your sister gets back from whatever business thing she's doing. She went out to a café and is going to be there all day."

"Hm." Midori narrowed her eyes, slightly concerning Charles. "I'm guessing it'll be all of us."

"Family dinner means family dinner."

"Charles, I need to talk to you." Midori pulled him upstairs to her room and shut the door. "How do you like my family so far?" She pointed to their bags.

"They're pretty all right," Charles said, taking the hint and starting packing. "No major complaints so far, pho night notwithstanding."

"Good, I'm glad." Midori opened the door and hugged Charles so she could get to his ear. "It's not just the restaurant closing. If this is what I think it is, there's only two ways it can go, and if George opens his stupid mouth..."

"I'll start looking for tickets."

Two cars were taken to the restaurant, as that was the easiest way to get seven people there (that and Miki's family had not gotten one). Charles agreed that the dumplings were mediocre, but he at least had a degree of novelty. Midori was hoping slight nostalgia would carry the meal, but no. She also had not gotten any beer, since she was now calculating the moment she and Charles would leave.

"...and that's why I'm ready to try for that promotion," George droned.

"Then I wish you the best and more," Mrs. D said. "What about you, Miki?"

"Brace for it," Midori thought.

"Well, I'm not looking at a promotion anytime soon, but I am thinking of possibly taking on a different job." Miki looked down at her stomach, then at Marty. "Marty, what do you think of having someone else at home all the time?"

"Because I totally wanted to know what my sister and her husband do with their genitals," Midori thought as she stole a (big) sip of Charles's beer.

"You're having a baby?" Marty asked excitedly.

"You'll be a big brother in about seven months," George said. "After all, someone has to help keep the D family going."

"Whoever told you you would win a subtlety contest did not have your best interest in mind," Midori said. "And you're one to talk, George P III. What's your son's name again?"

"Okay, this doesn't have to get ugly." Charles stood. "We came up here to enjoy ourselves, and it's been little more than static when we're all together like this, and I don't want that to be the first time I met you. Whatever you have, you need to work out yourselves, but you also have to understand something key that evidently you've been missing."

"What do you know about us?" Miki asked.

"Midori's told me enough, so here's my opinion as an outsider. You're a bad sister, you're an enabling brother-in-law, and you, my friend, have bad parents. But that's not your fault. If they give you any trouble, you can tell me, okay?"

"I don't have bad parents," Marty said.

"Okay. But remember what I said."

"I have a question for you, if you don't mind," Mrs. D said.

"Go ahead."

"You don't want to marry my daughter or even give her a child," Mrs. D said. "I don't understand any of that, but fine, that's your lives."

"If Charles 'gave' me a child, I'd fix him myself," Midori cut in.

"I'm talking, young lady! With that said, what's the point?"

"What's the point of what?" Charles asked.

"Of your relationship," George said. "You're Charles T IV. Doesn't that mean something?"

"It means I was named after my father and I never bothered to change that. The fact that you're asking me this makes me question if you should be allowed to make toast unsupervised."

"Funny." George stood. "Well, while I certainly grant that you're allowed to make your own decisions..."

"No. Whatever you're going to say next is (sorry, Marty) bullshit, and I'm not here for it." Charles looked over at Mr. D. "Akashi, do you have anything to say?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" Midori turned her gaze to her father. "After Charles told you why we want the relationship we have and how happy we are to live as we do, you don't know?"

"George does have a bit of a point, Midori. Maintaining family legacies aside, your mother and I really like being grandparents."

"Then be grandparents to the grandson you already have, and to whatever she shoots out of her privates next! If you think I haven't taken note every time you've sent me a message about who in the family is getting married or breeding, you're wrong, and I've saved them all so my therapist will understand why I'm not talking to my immediate family!"

The table was silent for a bit as the restaurant stared at them. Marty started crying as Midori left the table.

"If you turn yourselves around and want us in your lives, you can talk to me," Charles said before he finished his beer. "Good luck with your next crotch goblin."

Charles joined Midori in the car. This was the third time he had seen her cry, and she was not happy or sad like the first or second times. The years of frustration and rage that she had mostly kept under the surface had shown themselves, and he was uncomfortable, but there was also pretty much nothing he could do. He jumped when he heard the tap on the window, so he stepped out of the car.

"She and I thought you were coming around," he said. "Thank you for proving us wrong."

"I just want to say..." Mr. D began.

"Go away. If you weren't going to help us, you could have just told me."

Charles got back in the car and Midori drove away. They took their bags and went to the airport, managing to snag a flight to their hometown and arriving midmorning the next day. They took a train to Charles's parents' house, where they got his car and started back to their place. No words had been spoken for several hours, except when Midori told Charles that Molly would be at their building when they got there.

"We might as well get this over with now," she said. "After that, I hope that our life together is much, much smoother."

"I'm still not sure I'm mentally ready to talk to Molly about this," Charles said.

"I'll be with you, and we can all have a beer to loosen up."

"We should probably do this sober..."

"Well, I need a fucking beer."

"That's part of our problem, you know."

"And yet you keep buying them."

"You keep drinking them."

"I'm from Scotland. It's something we do."

"You're not sure about this, either."

"I've always held some paranoia about being cheated on again," Midori said, looking out the window. "After I learned that you did it, I've gotten a bit worse."

"Well, I think the fact that we now know this about each other means we're less likely to do it. We both know how shitty it is to cheat and how shitty it is to be cheated on."

"Jaaved and I both cheated once. You and Molly cheated multiple times."

"Well, there she is. It's now or never."

Charles and Midori kissed and got out of the car. Molly was about to excitedly hug them both until she saw their faces.

"We had a bad weekend," Charles said, "And it's about to get worse."

"You're not leaving each other, are you?" Molly asked.

"Midori wants us to talk about us."