Chasing Eden Ch. 04-06

"People keep contacting you. I know it's frustrating. It has nothing to do with you. They think I'm the mole, since I hate the world so much. And now that the screenshots are happening, even though I'm all the way out here, they're desperately looking for any suspicions.

"And that stuff you told me about kissing that woman; it's fine. That doesn't make you unfit for this job. You've done well so far."

Camilla found herself with no tears in her eyes, all of a sudden. With her entire body now facing Peter, she brushed her hair off her as she built up the courage to ask a question. "If you don't mind... what's stopping you from killing yourself? I... I know we're not friends, but I don't want you to die..."

"I have an odd philosophy on life," Peter explained, still looking straight forward. "I think dying would come as a relief, but I haven't earned the right to die yet. I still have things to accomplish..."

"That is a very interesting way of looking at it... and thank you for telling me all that stuff... It really means a lot to me."

"You should probably get some sleep now. You either have meetings tomorrow or you have a flight back to New York. Either way, you have a busy schedule."

"Okay, Peter..." Camilla said, looking down for a moment. "But before I leave... ask one last favor?"

"Yes."

"Will you please play that song you played during your wedding? I'd really like to hear it if it doesn't bring back too many bad memories..."

Finally, Peter turned his head and stared into her fake blue eyes. After a moment, which felt like an eternity to the blonde, the man got up to his feet and walked towards the piano.

Camilla followed and stood next to her coworker as he played the beautiful melody. Despite never meeting his wife, she could almost imagine her on the special day of the wedding through his music.

Like a surgeon, Peter didn't make a single mistake. He played the peace beautifully, bringing a big smile to Camilla's face.

Once the song was over, Camilla clapped her hands before expressing, "That was amazing! I didn't know you were such a great musician!"

Never turning back, Peter sat there for a second before finally speaking up. "Miss Camilla... if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone now. I might play some more music, but I'd rather not have an audience."

"Oh, yeah," the woman answered, getting her things together. Understanding that Peter had needs of his own, she quickly obliged and wished him a good night. "Oh, and thank you so much for playing that for me," she said as she started walking away.

Before Camilla could leave, she thought back to the moment when she asked Peter if she could give him a hug. When he responded that it wouldn't make him feel any better, she stopped herself. This time, however, she couldn't help but walk back and give him a quick embrace.

It was a small hug, but she wrapped her arms around him from behind before walking off without saying another word. The entire time, Peter never moved, but that was okay in her mind. All she cared about was displaying her gratitude; not getting the reaction she wanted out of him.

***

"Miss Camilla!" Leah said, still sitting on the bed, when the blonde reentered the room.

"Oh, you're still here... I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly."

"I figured if I waited here, you'd eventually return... I just wanted to let you know you have nothing to apologize for."

"I actually have a lot to apologize for..." Camilla admitted, once again riddled with guilt. Taking a seat on the bed next to Leah, she said, "Let me explain...."

"Okay," Leah said, waiting patiently as the blonde gathered her thoughts.

"You see... I sort of got out of a relationship recently and I haven't been handling it well. I didn't realize it initially, but you have some similar features to the woman I was seeing... Her name is Jane... I basically ended things with her because I knew she was in love with someone else.

"Spending time with you... You've been so nice to me and reassuring... It almost felt like it was her... and I wasn't the second option this time...

"I haven't been handling the breakup very well, and then some other things happened that I still can't talk about. The truth is, I was just using you for a power high at the beginning because I'm so insecure. And now, I've been using you, pretending you're that other woman.

"That's not fair to you. I know what it's like to be the other woman, so I shouldn't have done that to you. You're so talented and intelligent. I shouldn't have used you like that.

"What makes it even worse is that I've been holding this job over your head. For all I know, you might have felt forced to oblige with my sexual advances, fearing this is your only chance."

"Miss Camilla, if I could get in a word in..."

"Go ahead..."

"I need to be honest with you as well," Leah explained, taking a deep breath. "I've been hiding something and I actually never planned on telling you. But I think you need to hear this."

Taking a deep breath of her own, Camilla replied, "Today's been such an emotional day... I don't know how much more I can handle... But go ahead."

Nodding her head, Leah started to explain, "You don't have to worry about me feeling like I was forced to accept sexual advances. Having sex with you would have accomplished my goal in a way."

Furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, the blonde talent agent reacted by asking, "What do you mean? You planned on having sex with me this entire time?"

"Well, not you, exactly... I was hoping for Peter since he's the lead of this operation. But when he shot me down, I lost all hope. I guess I never suspected that you were interested in women."

"Leah... I don't understand. Why would that be your goal?"

"The day that I first met you, everything you said about me was correct. You're what I wish I could be, but I'm not."

As Camilla sat there puzzled, unable to understand her new acquaintance's true intentions, she responded, "Leah, I didn't mean any of that stuff... I was just on a power trip because of my insecurities."

"Maybe you were just taking some frustrations out on me, but you weren't wrong," the raven-haired woman explained, with a look of determination. "I've tried, and tried, and tried... but after a while, all the rejections started to hurt too much.

"I promised myself I would only do this the right way, but year after year, I watched from the sideline as girls slept their way to opportunities I thought I deserved. Yes, they had to swallow their pride a little, but they gained the recognition they were looking for. The only thing I gained was age."

"Leah, that's not true..."

"It is true. I can accept that. I'm not pretty enough to gain attention in modeling. That's why I have to plaster a bunch of makeup on my face. I'm not talented enough to have a successful social media career. All my pages are still struggling even after years of working my ass off. I only became a modeling agent so I could represent myself because no one else wanted to. I'm just lucky to represent Fang for this short period of time."

"You weren't lucky!" Camilla argued, trying to reason with the woman who was looking down on herself. "But what made you think that plan would work?"

With a little chuckle, Leah explained, "It's worked in the past. Other girls have gone to these Sunshine and Moonlight outreach programs and found some schmuck to sleep with them who would eventually guarantee them a huge endorsement deal. I'm just unlucky that I decided to do it the year you all took over the program."

"Okay, I think I heard Peter and Eddie mention that to each other..." the blonde said, thinking back to the day they all first arrived. "But you said that was your original plan. What's your plan now?"

"I don't even know... I guess I just took a page out of my crazy ex-girlfriend days and didn't allow you to get rid of me. I had nothing to lose, so I figured I'd just stick around until I found an opportunity to learn from you. And then during that time, I grew infatuated with you for some reason..."

"Infatuated?" Camilla asked with a gasp. Slowly growing red in the face, she asked, "Do you really mean that?"

"Even though I tried several things, I never really knew what I was doing. But then as I followed you around, desperately searching for an opportunity, I realized you were right about being everything I wish I was. That's why I'm infatuated with you. That's why I blushed so hard when you said I was the closest thing you had to a friend."

"Hold on, let me get this straight. So, you don't think I'm absolutely batshit crazy for pretending you were another woman?"

"That doesn't bother me," Leah said, shrugging her shoulders. "And I don't think you're crazy. You just need someone who understands you. And I can be that person if you need me to be."

"What?!" the blonde reacted, opening her eyes big in disbelief. Although the circumstances were not ideal, this was the first time in years she felt someone accepted her for who she really was. "I can't believe you're not offended..."

"I'm not offended at all. And I'm not going to judge you for the way you need to move on. If you want to picture me as Jane, that's fine with me. If you want me to leave and pretend this never happened, we can do that too. Either way, it won't change the way I look at you."

Looking down nervously, Camilla took a moment together before admitting her desires. "I... I want you to stay here... but I'm afraid it'll be terrible... I don't know if I can get her out of my head. I'll probably cry a lot... You don't have to stay..."

"Cry, pretend I'm someone else, do whatever you need," Leah assured, looking more confident than the blonde had ever seen her. "I'm infatuated with you, so I want to see you at your best as well as your worst."

Overtaken with emotion, Camilla grabbed onto Leah and ran her fingers through her hair before kissing her with even more passion than the first time. Even though the Latina didn't know how the night would go, she knew in that moment, she was allowed to be as crazy and emotional as she needed to be.

***

Down at the bar, Peter was still sitting at the piano by himself. It was late and the bar was closed, but there he sat, playing his wedding song over and over.

Once he finished, he just sat there in the dark, resting his hands on top of the keys. His sleeves were rolled up for the first time, exposing several cuts on his arms, both old and fresh. And on his face was that same crazy look he had earlier that day, only this time, he was gritting his teeth.

There was no more music. All he could hear was the sound of his own heart beating loudly. Thump, thump... Thump, thump...

To be continued...