Chastity

My face is hot. I silence my phone and fan myself with a program.

Good thing Jesus is in the business of forgiveness.

...

The service ends and Emmylyee has to nudge me out of my trance in order to leave the pew. I'm so... mad? That has to be it. My face is hot and I couldn't even focus on Pastor Keyth's sermon about the unborn babies we have to save. It's one thing for Leo to publish this filth for everyone to see. It's another for it to invade my mind, my church, my sacred space.

I have to get this -- them -- out of my head.

Maybe I just need to get this out of my system.

They'd never actually do anything with me anyway. Maybe getting close enough to the fire to feel the burn of rejection will set my heart back on the righteous path. Maybe I just need to suffer the humiliation of asking for this unholy union to be reminded why my safety and comfort is in the path of the Lord.

SoulfulChristian52794: It has inaccuracies in the scripture. Maybe we can meet up and I can be the one to show YOU around the Bible.

I see that they're typing, then they stop. Typing again. Then they stop. And again.

Seen at 12:17PM

There's a pit in my stomach and I make myself say a quick prayer for Jesus to set my heart on the path of righteousness. This is exactly what I asked for -- why do I feel so hollow?

I walk to my car in a daze and pull up Google Maps on my phone to drive home. An Instagram notification pops up over the map.

Butch4ButchBoytoy: Sure, Chastity. I'm almost home. Here's my address. Come over today.

I freeze. That doesn't sound like rejection. I didn't plan for this. What do I do? I glance around the parking lot guiltily, like someone from church might see the sin written on my face.

Slowly, barely breathing, fingers trembling, I plug Leo's address into Google Maps and hit start.

The whole drive over I feel like I'm being led by someone else. My heart is racing and the 20 minute drive feels like an hour. Why am I doing this?

Google Maps tells me I've arrived at my destination and I steady my breath. I grab my bible from the passenger seat and walk quickly toward apartment 6 before I can stop and turn around. I have no idea what I'm doing here. I knock softly and nearly turn away before the gentle shuffling of the door puts me face to face with Leo.

A smile turns up a corner of their lips. "Hi, Chastity," they greet me, glancing down at my church outfit but saying nothing.

"Hi, Leo," I reply, feeling a little breathless, heart pounding. I tell myself it was just the brisk walk.

They're wearing a plain white t-shirt today with black jeans and another chain necklace. It suits them. Leo steps aside and motions to their living room, where a large bong sits on a coffee table next to a vase of flowers. We sit down on the couch and I cling to my bible, trying to think through the fog of my mind to my most inspirational bible verses.

They study my face, not saying a word. I shift uncomfortably against the soft gray couch, fumbling with the edges of the bible's pages. Seconds pass like minutes with their eyes on me. Finally, they break the silence.

"Can I get you anything? Water? Arizona tea? I assume you're not a beer person..."

I don't know why, but their hospitality catches me off guard.

"Water," I rasp. My mouth is dry. They rise and I can hear the clink of ice from the kitchen. They return with the water and I realize just how many muscles I have to unclench to take the glass from them.

Our thumbs brush and I feel a spark through my whole body. I steady my breath, hoping they don't notice.

"Why did you come here?" Leo asks, voice low.

I gesture toward my bible. "Well -- you got some things wrong and I --"

"No. Why did you really come here?" they interrupt. Something about their voice, confident and definitive, makes me sit up straighter.

"I -- I didn't think you'd -- I didn't think we'd --" I stammer. None of this is going how I'd planned, and yet here I am. I could get up and leave at any moment and yet I stay.

"Didn't think... what?" Leo asks patiently.

"I thought you wouldn't want to see me again. I thought --" I pause, not wanting to say the rest of my sentence.

Leo waits patiently for me to go on. I don't. Finally, they ask gently, "You thought what, Chastity?"

"I thought... that your rejection would help me move on from temptation."

I exhale deeply as I finish my sentence, my eyes darting back and forth between Leo and the glass of water gathering condensation on the coffee table.

"Temptation?" Leo asks. They don't ask it arrogantly or seductively, like I would have expected. They ask it with curiosity and gentleness.

My throat is dry, like I've been wandering a desert for hours chasing mirages. I glance back at the water glass and reach for it, noticing how my hands tremble a little as I lift it to my mouth.

I swallow, gulp, put the glass down with a clink.

I force myself to look Leo in the eye and respond with the truth. Telling the truth is a virtue, isn't it?

"Lust," I say.

Leo's breath hitches, and they gaze back at me with their beautiful green eyes. I could get lost in them. I am.

My eyes drop to their lips. Oh no.

I quickly glance back up to Leo's eyes but it's too late.

"You'd like to kiss me, wouldn't you?" they ask, a smile spreading across their face.

I'm frozen, speechless. Then, slowly, I nod.

"I want to hear you ask for it."

I inhale, pressing my lips together. I can't do this. I won't. What would Emmylyee think? What would all of Faith in Following 🙏✝️ think? What would Jesus think? It's a sin! I'm not -- I'm -- I'm out of excuses.

"I want you to kiss me," I whisper.

I watch them lean into me slowly and I stare at their mouth. Their lips are soft against mine and the earthy scent of their cologne washes over me. It's so sexy. Leo's lips are moving gently against mine and I whimper against their mouth and give in to the sensations, kissing back, grabbing Leo's short cropped hair and pulling them close to me. They moan and press harder into me, bringing a hand up to cup my jaw -- just like I fantasized about -- and letting a gentle tongue softly slide against my lips. I melt into the kiss, fire sparking through my body, and I kiss back, letting my mouth open and my tongue meet theirs in an electric brush.

We pull apart and my stomach drops. Guilt floods my whole body, tensing my calves to my shoulders, and I want to scream. The fury -- at least I think it's fury -- burns in my stomach.

"How could you make me do this?" I sputter.

"I didn't make you do anything you, Chastity. You asked for this." Their voice is quiet, matter of fact, almost non-reactive. Their confidence sends shivers up my spine and I want them, carnally, Biblically. I want them to kiss me again. I want them to keep talking to me in that dominant, in-control way. I want them to take control... of me.

I asked for this.

What happens if I ask for more?

"Maybe...I like it when you make me." My voice is barely above a whisper.

That gets a reaction.

"Jesus Christ, Chastity."

"We're not talking about him right now, Leo," I say, the corner of my mouth twisting into a wry smile. I'll repent for that later.

"If you keep talking like that, I'm going to make you do filthy, perverted things for me and you're going to like it."

I let out a moan, then cover my mouth in embarrassment, cheeks reddening.

"That's what I thought," Leo says with a smirk. They pause, as if they're actually considering going through with this, then say: "If we're really going to do this, I need your consent. I need to hear that you want it, and that you're choosing this."

"I want it," I say, before my brain can stop my mouth from moving. "I choose this." My face grows redder, so warm that I can feel my pulse in my forehead. "...Please," I add in a small voice, when Leo says nothing.

"'Please,'" Leo repeats, sounding satisfied. "Good, Chastity. That's what I like to hear. Tell me, what do you want me to call you? Good girl, good boy, toy, slut, sinner , fucktoy...?"

I avoid eye contact with Leo. Feelings roil inside me. Feelings about my gender that I don't want to face.

"Don't..." I start to say don't call me a boy on instinct, and I reconsider, remembering the Forgive Me Father story and how much it got me going to read about a good boy, a bad boy. "Don't call me a good girl." I pause and force myself to draw my gaze back to Leo. "But you can call me everything else."

Leo stares at me, chest rising and falling, and they clench their jaw and lick their lips. They look me up and down and fist their hands in their lap, as if they're restraining themself from touching me.

"Good boy," they growl. "I like it when boys say please . Good boys are rewarded for good manners. Let's start with something familiar. Get on your knees." They point to a spot on the carpet just short of their boots.

This time, I know what I'm feeling definitely isn't rage. A fire burns just below my stomach and my body stands up from the couch and moves into place before my brain can even process what's happening.

"Oh, now that's a good toy," Leo praises, and there's a string in the back of my mind that tugs at a weird thought: I wish they'd called me good boy.

"Thank you," I say, thinking of my manners.

"That's gonna be a 'Thank you, Sir' or 'Thank you, Daddy.'"

My stomach flips and drops like it's on a trampoline.

"What about... both?" I ask timidly.

Leo grits their teeth and growls a response: "Then you're a filthy sinner who needs to be punished, don't you?"

They reach a hand to my jaw, rubbing gently and then gripping to hold me in place.

"Don't. You?" Leo repeats sternly.

"Yes, Daddy," I say urgently. My whole body flushes with warmth: the heat of lust and sin. This is so wrong. It feels so right. Thoughts swirl in my mind, out of control: Fuck yeah fuck yeah fuck yeah. Oh my God. I'm sinning right now. I need to flee from sin. I can't stay. I can't leave. I can't -- I can't stand how turned on I am. I want more. I want to call this hot butch Daddy while they rail me.

Leo chuckles.

"Good fuckin' boy, Chastity," they say. They sound pleased. I blush with their praise, feeling over the moon with the approval of this butch who likes to boss me around.

With their free hand, they run a thumb along my lower lip. Instinctively, my mouth drops open and I reach my tongue out to graze the tip of their thumb.

"Fuck," I hear them mutter under their breath. They slip their thumb further into my mouth and I suck on it softly, the throbbing between my legs becoming more pronounced. "God dammit, Chastity," they say in a clear voice. "Look at me," they order, and I do. I look them straight in the eyes and moan around the thumb in my mouth.

"Fucking Christ, Chastity. If you're not careful, I'm going to rip off all your clothes and make you suck my cock 'til you're moaning like this."

I moan louder, eyes fluttering closed at the thought. I let go of Leo's thumb and let them smear my spit over my mouth and chin. I feel so dirty already.

"Yes, Sir, please Sir, fuck. Please, Daddy."

"Please what, boytoy?"

Boytoy . This is all so new, and I'm so wet.

"Please... Take off all my clothes and make me suck you off."

"Mmm," Leo hums. "That's what I like to hear. But I want to see you take your own clothes off. Put on a little show for Daddy."

They lean back, relaxed, palms splayed on their spread thighs, waiting.

I concentrate on keeping steady feet as I stand from the carpet. My legs tremble anyway. Standing, I lick my lips and look down at Leo, who's looking up at me with a soft smile, head tilted to the side.

I briefly think again about fleeing from sin. This feels like the turning point, my last chance to change my mind before the lust will take over and I'll be helpless to my basest desires.

A thousand thoughts race through my mind.

I close my eyes and focus on one:

Unzipping my skirt.

The buzz of the zipper cuts through the silence. My heavy khaki skirt falls to the floor, and I stand in a pair of unsexy brief panties, white with thin blue stripes and a small bow on the front. I feel insecure all of a sudden, but I watch Leo's eyes trail down my body and their splayed palms turn into fists on their thighs.

" Good boy , Chastity," they say, swallowing.

I begin to unbutton my blouse, a frilly white thing that my mom and Emmylyee love. It makes me feel like a bird with a puffed up chest. I open it slowly, revealing my plain nude bra with no padding. I stand in my underwear, feeling exposed and even more insecure, when Leo says:

"Good God, Chastity."

But their reverence isn't for God. It's for me.

I blush and turn around shyly, unhooking my bra and pulling it off, hiding my chest and showing off my backside.

"Chastity..." Leo says, voice sounding strained.

"Yes... Daddy?" I ask, sounding innocent but feeling so, so naughty.

"God, you fucking tease," they say. "You have such a good body."

"Thank you, Sir..."

Their compliments encourage me, and I turn and reveal my bare chest to them, watching the way they lick their lips and stare in awe.

Their eyes travel to my underwear. Back to my eyes. Waiting patiently. My hands move of their own accord to my hips, playing with the edges of my waistband. I feel so nervous. So wet. So, so eager. I slowly pull the white and blue striped underwear down my thighs, letting them drop at my knees.

Suddenly I'm naked, and I'm no longer Chastity, the good church girl. Now I'm Chastity, the good boy. The bad boy. The --

"Filthy, naughty, prettyboy fucktoy..." Leo says to me. "So obedient ."

"Th-thank you, Sir," I stammer.

They point to the floor and I fall to my knees, so eager to please.

"Good boy," they praise me. "You've read enough of my stories now. Do you know what happens next?"

I flush with embarrassment and desire. I do. Oh God, I do.

"Yes... Daddy." My eyes travel from the floor to their face. They look pleased and relaxed, so in control. Their hands move to frame the slight bulge in their black jeans and they smirk at me.

"Then get to it, boytoy. My cock won't suck itself."

My cheeks burn in humiliation. My clit throbs too, but we won't talk about that.

I lick my lips, glancing down at Leo's pants and watching as my hands reach for their black leather belt. I pull at it, unbuckle it, unbutton their jeans, unzip their fly... Every motion is its own step on a staircase down to hell.

I pull out their cock and it's a modest sky blue dildo and I feel relieved that it's not a huge monster.

I swallow, dildo in my hand, and take a deep breath. I don't know what I'm doing, but I remember back to Friday night's reading of Forgive Me Father and how Leo described their sinful fantasy... my sinful fantasy... the sinful reality that's unfolding right in front of me and in between my legs right now. God, focus, Chastity.

I slowly bring my mouth to the tip of the toy, licking and then taking the tip in my mouth, further and further until the entire toy has disappeared into my throat. I feel so strange, so full in a foreign way, and I moan.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Chastity. You fucking slut. Look at you. You look so good with your mouth full of my cock. Keep sucking me off, Chastity. Let's see your slutty little show."

With that as my encouragement, I give it my all. I suck and lick, taking the toy out of my mouth and running my tongue down it sideways and back up, taking it into my mouth again and bobbing my head up and down.

Leo is cursing and calling me filthy names that make me grow wetter. I squeeze my legs together.

They grip a fist in my hair and guide me up and down their cock. My long hair falls in curtains on their lap. With hard silicone on my tongue, sliding back and forth, I can smell Leo's body wash: masculine, woodsy, like the cologne they wore on Friday.

"That's it, boy. That's it. Suck my fucking cock, Chastity," Leo groans. As if they like it. As if this is bringing them pleasure. I'm bringing them pleasure.

I hum, feeling content, like I'm in my place where I belong, and the noise triggers something in Leo, because I feel their fist grip tighter -- almost painfully. Almost. They moan and pull me off their cock, looking me in the eyes. Their pupils are blown wide and they're panting.

"Listen to me," they say breathlessly. "You filthy, repressed little sinner." I throb, delirious with lust. My hands are on Leo's thighs, and my nails dig in when they say this. "I want to --"

And they proceed to describe the dirtiest, most sinful things they want to do to me, that I could ever imagine.

"If you want that, go to the bedroom and kneel at the foot of the bed. If you don't, stand up and put your clothes on. The front door is right there and I won't stop you."

I'm breathless and stiff from the string of filthy words they just said to me. In shock. I look at Leo. I look at my clothes on the floor. I look at the glass of water and suddenly feel how thirsty I am. It's slippery with condensation and I take a careful sip, holding it at the mouth where the glass isn't sweating, and setting it back down.

I'm procrastinating, I realize. Leo gave me a choice and I need to make it. I stand.

Chapter 4

Leo, Sunday, 2:37pm

I'm feeling feral with my desire to fuck Chastity into my mattress until she's a quivering, moaning mess. I want her to beg to cum so I can deny her and watch her face crumple in desperation and need. I want to call her a dirty sinner just to watch her cheeks burn red with humiliation and shame and arousal.

I want her to worship me as her God.

But first, she has to choose this. I'm not taking her to my bedroom. She's walking herself there, naked, or she's getting dressed and walking out my front door.

I watch her take a slow, careful sip of water. She glances back at me, and stands. I breathe, and watch her turn around. I can't help the objectifying gaze that's got to be written all over my face right now. I'm staring at her ass like one of those panting dog cartoons from the 50s. God help me. She's got a great body hidden under that cute little church outfit.

I watch her step toward the hallway and I grit my teeth and dig my nails into my thighs, trying to control the urge to race after her.

She chooses the bedroom. Walks there naked. Kneels on the floor. Waits for me.

I make her wait. Just like I told her I would. I wanted to give her some quiet time for reflection, and give myself a chance to hit this bong for a second and get my bearings.

My cock is still out, Chastity's spit drying on it. I smile wryly, looking down at myself as I spark the bowl and inhale.

* * *

Chastity, Sunday, 2:37pm

I kneel on the carpeted floor of Leo's bedroom, naked, with a fire in my belly and a throbbing, sore clit. My choice is made.

I can hear a click and then the sound of... bubbles? I hear some other miscellaneous noises. The sound of water running from the fridge. Rustling. More bubbles and then some coughing. I guess it must be the bong I saw on the coffee table. I smile to myself a little, at this show of weakness, this crack in their dominant armor.

I'm stuck in my own thoughts here on the floor, and it's torture. I'm torn between my thirst for all the filthy things Leo promised, and my shame over desiring it. I want to touch myself (I'm so wet) and then I stop myself -- not because it's wrong, but because Leo told me not to. And suddenly, I want to obey their every word. Not God's word, but this mean lesbian's. What am I doing? Giving myself and my body over to some seductive, horny butch with a penchant for writing about filthy fantasies?

I am. Oh God, I am.

Leo walks in, smelling like weed and cologne, carrying two glasses of water and bringing them to the nightstand.