Cheating? Cuckolding? I Don't Know

What I found there was shocking. Entry after entry was either about our encounters with Rodney, described as if he was a real person involved in the sessions or, worse yet, the entry was a letter to Rodney. That's right, Eva was writing in her diary as if she was writing to a person named 'Rodney'.

I know what you're probably thinking: there really is a Rodney, Eva's carrying on with him, and her sessions with me are ones where she fantasizes being with her lover.

But, if you're thinking that, you're wrong. There is no Rodney! I'm sure of that. You see, Eva's a technophobe. I'm her IT person. I have, and Eva is more than happy that I have, complete access to everything she does on the computer and her phone. There are no emails, no texts, phone calls that could possibly be to or from a secret lover.

And we share each other's location using our phones' GPS. We each know everything about where the other person goes. There is no Rodney!

But these letters ... man are they steamy! Here's an example:

"Oh, God, Rodney ... last night was incredible. You are an amazing lover. I had three crashing orgasms on your beautiful cock. And still, my heart pounding with passion, I couldn't leave your gorgeous cock alone. I had to take you in my mouth and suck all of our juices off your still hard shaft."

Maybe the worst, though, was this:

"When you thrust your hard cock into my husband's mouth, I thought the sight of that alone would make me cum. You took his mouth so masterfully and he was eager to suck you and make you fill his mouth with cum. I loved it when you shot your huge load in his hungry mouth. He was too spent to say it, but I know he was thinking, 'Thank you, Rodney, for filling my mouth with your sweet cum'."

I had never thought anything of the sort, of course—except in Eva's fantasy world.

So that's the story about Eva's private relationship with "Rodney". But I have a confession to make, too.

It turns out that you can change someone's sexuality by making or breaking unconscious associations. And Eva had done it to me.

When Eva's away and work and I'm bored or horny, I masturbate (which is to say, I'm a man). But nowadays, when I masturbate it almost always involves Eva's strap-on dildo.

I found that I got harder, faster when I sucked on the dildo while stroking my cock. And it soon became a regular part of my masturbation routine.

In addition to working as a strap-on, the dildo had a suction cup base, which I used frequently. I'd stick it to the shower door so that when I was sucking on it I could move the door back and forth so that the dildo would piston in and out of my mouth. Sometimes I put it on the mirror so that I could watch myself in the mirror as I sucked the dildo and stroked my cock.

Eva had also accustomed me to the taste of my cum. I confess that a few times I've cum on the dildo and, then, sucked my cum off of it, just like Eva urges me to do. In fact, when I do that, I hear her voice in my head, egging me on. I think I need that urging because I've just cum, of course, and that can make my sexual drive drop. But running Eva's instructions in my head helps me do it despite the drop in my libido.

Why, you might ask, do I do that if I don't have the drive right then? The answer is ... I haven't the faintest idea. But I do. It's sort of strange. Right then, I don't have the immediate desire to suck my cum off the dildo. But I do have a desire to be the sort of person who does. So, my imagined Eva's voice provides the motivation to carry through.

It's at that time, when I'm pushing myself to suck the dildo after I've cum on it, that I feel the most like I'm sucking off Rodney. The thought I'm having is that I'm pleasing Rodney's cock and getting my reward for doing that. Weird ... I know.

Though the size of the dildo was intimidating to me at first, I admit that recently, and increasingly, I've been thinking how it would feel to have it in my ass. Sometimes when I'm "sucking Rodney off," I fantasize that "Rodney wants to fuck me in the ass." I haven't taken Rodney up my ass yet. But I'm sure that will happen. I wonder whether I'll do it first or Eva will beat me to it and have Rodney take my anal virginity in one of our sessions. Which would I prefer? I don't know.

Finally, I've got a question—a puzzle that I haven't solved. Given that Rodney doesn't exist—something I know for certain—is Eva cheating on me? Am I a cuckold? Has she turned me bi. I don't know. But, the truth is, I don't really care.