All Comments on 'Chelsea's 18th Birthday Ch. 01'

This story is a beautiful romance with VERY realistic sex -- warm & true-to-life. Being a guy myself, I don't yet trust our hero, but he may well learn genuine loving. She's definitely going to be a wonderful lover -- as all of mine over the last 60 years have been.

After reading some of the more gross entrys in here,(other categories)your essay has built-in erotics because its so believable. It sounds like probably the authors'own first experience, and just that thought makes it a turn-on.She was lucky to have an understanding and patient guy, although he wasn't so nice to other girls. Good job-try again!

and I'm reallyyyyyyy hoping you plan on adding more chapters to this. i loved the whole thing but it feels like it needs more. no closure to the story and i feel its good enough to have more chaps added to it. :) thanks for this!!

Well written and sensative story.

Please continue with more stories.

Perhaps a followup?

I always give a five to offset the trolls, although there aren't as many in this category. Still, for someone who claims to be a woman, it is unforgivable not to know where a woman's hymen is located. It is at the opening of the vagina, if you wish, go to storiesonline dot net and you can see a live photo in the author's help section. They also have data on men's size as well, so you don't have some guy with a 12" cock.

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Now that I've had my tirade, I do want to say that I think the story was well written, and the emotions well presented. I find it a little difficult to understand how a woman who has kept her virginity for 18 years is willing to give it up so easily. It's not the giving it up so easily, but the for such a person to keep it for so long.

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Now I also confess that I haven't read this carefully. As I said I have a thing about a story losing credibility when basic anatomy is wrong, but I am interested in the sort of stories you might write. I've read your bio and what you describe appeals to me. For that reason, I'm always interested in seeing "the other side."

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That's my second complaint, you switched POV right at the part were my knowledge fails me. I know what it is like to be be with a virgin, I was with several, although I can't be sure about the one who didn't bleed. What I don't know is what it feels like emotionally to have someone inside your body for the first time.

That was a well written, well expressed, very warm and sexy story. Ignore the troll; there are some people on this site who don't feel that their experience of reading a story is complete unless they've written a negative or destructive comment about it.

I really liked the story, in fact the only input I have is in relation to spelling and there is a part missing. Near the end of the chapter, Brent tells Clay to leave, but there is no indication of him being there. They are talking, then suddenly Brent remembers he forgot to lock the door. Perhaps if he hears the door open, looks up and sees Clay standing there, hears his scoff, etc. Re-read your story a couple days after you write it before you submit if you don't use an editor, usually that helps in finding errors. Hope this helps!

Dragon_13

I thought it was a very sweet story. The Characters were well-developed and believable.

This story was beautiful. I was moved by the emotions that your characters made me feel. Please keep writing.

This story is a bit long but it may have been necessary to convey the authors feelings. Smokin hot sex. She really puts you in the head of both lovers. I cant wait to read part 2

This is a really great start to a very sweet, romantic story with some sensual scenes between the couple. Despite being a guy, I can appreciate the tender moments between Chelsea and her crush, and the romance is a welcome change of pace from some of the rougher entries here. Definitely a good read, and I can't wait to see the third chapter of this plot. :-)

The story is weird and on contrary to what other people say... not very believable. Your writing is not bad, but this plot is quite shallow and very hard to relate to.

Unprotected sex with no thought of the consequences? Is Chelsea so innocent that she doesn't know where babies come from?

First off I loved this story. So much so in fact that I have it bookmarked now. I really liked that she felt like a faceless nobody and is living across the hall from this hot guy and a "kramer" like dude that just pops in. The dinner with dad was neat too.

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My issue? The Characters felt hollow. She's just a little to whiny and cry baby ish. He's too forceful. She seems to act at times like she's seven and really really needy (mostly when it came to parts where sex was involved either in talking or in doing)at other times she acts like she's 20 something trying to make a stand on the world. Pick one, preferably the latter, stronger female characters are more attractive than a weak cry baby bitch who tears up anytime she's uncomfortable.

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All in all, I am most definitely reading this story to whatever end you take it and am very interested to see if you play around with the idea that they live next to each other (things like who's appartment, what kind of affect the proximity might have in the beginning when they are still getting to know each other, whats daddy think about his little boy sleeping with a tenant? How do they work around/ with clay? etc).<br>

-ARAMIL

This is amazing!!!! I was soooo f*****g wet by the end of this story!!!!!!

love love love it!! you should try making it a book :D

The characters and the details (especially the emotional one) are great.

Keep up the awesome works:) <3

such a tender story, what a turn on

Thank you for taking the time to write all this and make sure you got all aspects of the story in. I like it a lot! You should continue with this one.

Some background would be nice. How does a 17 year old get her own apartment?