Chloe 01

Genesis

So my background: I live in a major metropolitan city, have a good job and live in a two bedroom apartment. I am 170 cm tall, slim build, blonde haired, blue eyed: so what everyone thinks of as mister average. I am in my early thirties.

Elena was everything I wasn't: dark haired, beautiful, tanned, exotic, and curvaceous. We have been together for 6 years. Elena was the extravert, I am much more reserved. She will dance all night. I prefer the comforts of home. I am tidy almost to the point of obsessive; she lives in a world of organised chaos. They say opposites attract and I really thought it was true.

It was a cold, wet January evening when I returned home from the office to find a dark apartment. I found a note on the kitchen worktop weighted down with the key to the apartment and the commitment ring I had given her. I then realised that all her personal items were gone. There had been no warning, no discussion, we had not argued, there were no signs of a problem as far as I could tell. And yet she was gone.

I walked through the apartment noticing the missing items: the stack of CD's from the lounge, her laptop, her mug from the kitchen, her many bottles from the bathroom. The main bedroom gave the appearance of a burglary. Wardrobe doors ajar, drawers open, hangers dropped on the floor. My possessions were untouched. She had clearly left in a hurry and didn't care about the mess. I tidied the hangers, and returned things to an appearance of normality. The spare room was in similar disarray as it held her overflow wardrobe.

I returned to the kitchen and re-read the note. "I am sorry. This is my fault. I hope you find some-one who will love you for being you."

What did that even mean? She had left her key, but I called a locksmith and within an hour a man had changed the door locks. It hurt that she couldn't talk to me, tell me the problem. I am a natural problem solver. It hurt more that she had written me a note and cleared out when she knew I wouldn't be there. For reasons I didn't understand she hadn't wanted a confrontation. I am calm, even in a crisis, maybe that was the problem: I wasn't spontaneous or dynamic enough?

I had doubts, my mind began to run wild with conspiracies. Was this staged? Had she been kidnapped and made to look like she had run away. I texted Elena's best friend, Collette.

>Hey Collette, it looks like Elena has bailed on me, but I want to know she is safe. I don't need details, just that she isn't in trouble. Thx

Within minutes I received a reply

>Elena called me this morning. She needs some time on her own. Sorry, I thought she had told you

Confirmation! Gravity shifted and I found myself on my knees. Our life had just ended and my world collapsed. Elena was gone. Some people would have counselled that I fight for her, but I resigned myself that she wanted a different life. A life without me in it!

The next few days were a blur. I could have gone out and had a drunken adventure, had a one night stand and sex with a stranger or met up with friends who were concerned for me, but I didn't. I couldn't. I am not a party animal, the idea of a packed club, loud music and being out of control with alcohol terrified me. Sex with a stranger- simply never going to happen! My friends were supportive, but they knew me and gave me the space I needed. I needed time alone. Several of Elena's friends were shocked at her sudden departure, and worried about me called and texted. Collette called by for coffee and held my hand while we talked. I agreed to call her if I needed to talk. Everyone was supportive, understanding or concerned. I was touched by their concerns and assured them I was okay. I wasn't okay, but I didn't want or need a dozen people trying to help. The weather reflected my mood it rained constantly, I remembered a quote from the film Bladerunner: "moments will be lost in time like tears in the rain", but by this time I was all cried out.

Two days later I received news that Elena had flown to Greece for a holiday. I ate a little, slept less and buried myself in work. I half-watched films and almost listened to music. I must admit I felt lost. The small apartment suddenly felt huge, a huge cavern of memories, and an abyss of what ifs.

A week passed and my new normality slowly emerged. I met friends for drinks even though I wasn't best company, and went out for pizza with a small group from work. I have never been a party animal, but I had retreated to deal with my emotions. I didn't cry, but I felt empty. I tried to socialise, but my heart wasn't really in it. It was more to satisfy those that cared about me that I was ok.

A week later I had walked home in the fast falling snow finding some peace in the silence. Everyone had retreated into the warmth of buildings. Later that evening I was checking emails on my personal laptop. There was an advert that caught my eye- 'meet interesting people on line'. I analysed the web address with my utilities. I work in IT so I am super careful. My spam filters were set to maximum, I schedule anti-virus runs updates daily, cookies are regularly purged and the phishing blockers were always set to highest alert. I hit the link half expecting an alert. No alarms. It took me to a forum rather than a dating site. I created a profile and set a password more out of curiosity than anything using a special email address I kept for just this purpose. For a while I observed the chats, the discussions on a hundred different subjects, but didn't interact. I received invites to various internal groups, but none that I wanted to participate in or had interest in. A ping caught my attention, another invite called simply 'The Escape'. Really? I opened it.

There were several interesting usernames discussing fantasies. I consider myself open minded, I support same sex relationships, I believe everyone should be treated with respect and equality, but I was a little surprised by some of the conversations. Pet play? What was that? I googled the subject and felt my face flush. I had heard of bondage, cos-play, BDSM, swinging and a dozen other fetish activities, but many of the topics were new to me. I admit my sex life had not been very adventurous. Why was I embarrassed? I was anonymous and so I began to type in the chat where they were discussing the pet life.

Me>What type of animal are you?

>Well hello to you too, what no intro?

>who are you?

And a dozen other comments along the same theme.

Me>My apologies, this is new to me. Hello.

>It's ok, babe, I don't bite. Hehe. Welcome to 'The Escape'.

>Speak for yourself, I do!

>I only nibble

>Welcome to The Escape

Me>Hello and thank you.

>So what animal are you?"

Me>I am not an animal 

>Ok Spartacus.

>Oh I love a gladiator

>This isn't about you

>Are you mineral or vegetable?

I replied at random

Me>Carrot

>Oh very phallic

>Come on boy or girl?

>Give the newbie a chance

>Patience you animals

Me>boy, you?

>girl mostly, boy sometimes. So what would your escape be?

Me>I don't know. I came here as I was curious what 'escape' was.

>We talk and some of us share experiences.

>I am a cat some of the time for my mistress.

>Puppy always

>I am a bunny

Lots of different people all with their unique stories I surmised.

Me>I have never thought about being an animal. Do you wear a fluffy suit?

>Nope, just my collar

>hehe

>latex rubber all tight and smooth.

>you are funny

>You know I think I would like that

>Leather harness and a hood

>I wonder what it would be like to be stroked in a furry suit?

>You like latex? Lycra?

Me>never worn either

>Come on everyone has a kink.

>Tied up? Handcuffs? Spanked?

>Are you a naughty boy?

I was thinking I was in the wrong place. I have no idea why I said what I did and never in a million years expected the chain of events that would follow.

Me>I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

>CD! You might like 'The Wendy House'

Me>I don't think so, but thanks. I need to sleep, early start tomorrow. It was good to chat. Thank you for being friendly

>come back and see us soon

>Naughty nighty night

>don't let the bugs bite

That was crazy. They seemed like nice people mostly just with active imaginations. Very active imaginations! Whether they actually participated in some of the activities blew my mind. I closed the forum and went to bed. I had troubling dreams about the forum. I was being chased by an angry white rabbit in a black latex dress. I caught glimpses of Alice in the blue dress, and white tights with flowing blonde hair. The next day my thoughts returned to 'The Wendy House' time and time again. I needed exercise this demon and to do that I needed to know more. Didn't I? Was I explaining me to myself?

That evening after dinner I returned to the forum and located 'The Wendy House'. I waited five minutes expecting to see conversations as I had the night before. There were no chats. I waited another five minutes and then began typing. What was this forum for if no-one typed anything?

Me>hello, anyone there?

Several minutes passed and was about to abandon the visit.

>Hey, just me

Me>Not many people in here

>No it's very quiet tonight.

Me>Usually a bigger crowd?

>It's quite a limited group here, different time zones, different chats, and some prefer one on one secure talk

Me>A friend from Escape suggested I might like to talk here

>What's on your mind?

Good question!

Me>Feeling a little lost, thought I might find a new friend or two

>We can be friends, what are you into?

Me>I read a lot of fantasy and science fiction genre books

I sounded boring even to myself

>LOL, so what are you into? You have a specific fantasy? You know what this group is right?

Me>Not really, I thought this was about fantasy

>It is about fantasies, your fantasy! You might be in the wrong place. I am intrigued- what did you say to your friend?

I thought back.

Me>I said I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole

>I see, so you want to be Alice?

My mind raced. I thought back to the conversation. CD? CrossDresser? Images flooded my mind and my heart raced. Images of Alice in the blue dress, and white tights with flowing blonde hair flooded my thoughts.

>You still there? You okay?

Me>Yes. Still here... and yes, well maybe, not sure...

Well that made a lot of sense you idiot! I thought.

>This is a safe place, we do not use real names, no personal information. We can even go full private. Switch the lock at the top of your screen then it's just you and me.

Nothing ventured: nothing gained. I activated the switch expecting my system alarms to go crazy. A new text box appeared. All was calm on the computer, but I could hear my heart beat gushing in my ears and my pulse was racing.

>>You okay?

Me>>I had a recent drama in real life. I am trying to come to terms with some things. I think I need a holiday.

>>From yourself?

Me>>That would be good.

>>So, you want to be Alice?

Be Alice?

Me>>What do you mean?

>>We could talk about what you would like if you were Alice.

Me>>Ok, so say I am Alice...

>>Do you like the name or would you prefer another?

Me>>You mean I could be any name?

>>Sure

Me>>Phillip?

I used my father's middle name

>>Philippa?

A girl's name?

Me>>Oh, it must be a girl's name?

>>Yes, of course

I thought about this for a minute or so.

Me>>how about Chloe?

I didn't know anyone named Chloe, I don't know where the name came from, but I liked it.

>>Hello Chloe, I am Mistress.

Me>>Hello Mistress

>>So, Chloe, what would you wear?

Me>>As Chloe? I guess it depends upon her job.

I was now referring to myself as a female persona in a theoretical scenario in the third person. What craziness was I experimenting in? Did I need a therapist?

>>You can be anything: baby, schoolgirl, ballerina, dancer, nurse, secretary, maid, slave, pet, and others. I like my boys to be girls.

My mind raced and I found I had an erection. I was excited by the conversation. I was turned on by the thought of being dressed as a girl? A woman? Being dominated?

Me>>Let's talk about a baby scenario. How would that work?

We talked for almost an hour. My knowledge of fetish had been seriously expanded. I have to confess I was very turned on.

Me>>Wow, you are the most interesting person I have spoken with for a long time.

>>That is very kind of you. I think you are a nice person just having a tough time at the moment. If you want to meet, you can complete a small questionnaire and arrange an appointment.

Me>>And talk some more in person?

>>Or you could participate?

Me>>What do you mean participate?

>>Act out the fantasy.

Me>>Dress as Chloe?

>>Yes, are you interested?

I swear I never touched myself, but I climaxed in my shorts.

Me>>I guess it is expensive?

I think was trying to find a get out.

>>No, I am independently wealthy I do this for my own pleasure. Money never changes hands. I like to dominate my boys while they are being girls.

Me>>And then you blackmail me, or rob me?

I was now full on afraid.

>>No, not at all. We operate in a safe environment and both enjoy the time together. It is consenting adults enjoying playtime.

Me>>So what guarantee do I have that anything we share doesn't escape into the real world?

>>We will share a contract through a lawyer of your choice. We independently provide the lawyer with our real names and real addresses. We each sign our copy in the presence of the lawyer. The lawyer confirms to both parties that the agreement is set and then we can play. I have done this with other guests.

Play! A single word- but with so many possibilities to explore: I was considering this.

Me>>Ok, how do we do this?

We agreed I would find a lawyer and share details, then have contracts drawn up, we would sign and I would be given an address to visit.

Within two days arrangements had been made, documents signed. The lawyer explained everything, but seemed unconcerned by the actual details. He reassured me that the privacy clause if breached by the host they would pay out £5million. If the privacy was breached, I could change my name, move to another country and never have to work again. I made the appointment, completed the questionnaire and counted the days. If I breached the agreement my privacy was forfeit my secret would be revealed.

We talked several more times, discussing my holiday from myself, my Chloe persona, and what I would like to wear.

The questionnaire had been comprehensive- likes, dislikes, willingness to experiment, limits, my body measurements and the scenario I would like to experience.

Finally the weekend of my appointment finally arrived. I made my preparations following the instructions I had received. I was anxious and terribly aroused, but I abstained from masturbating.

I arrived at the specified address. It was a large private house, may be five bedrooms, large driveway, surrounded with trees to provide privacy and a well-manicured lawn. I had travelled to this destination by public transport. I approached the door along a long gravel driveway as instructed and pressed the bell. The door was opened by a lady in her mid-thirties. She was conservatively dressed: knee length navy skirt, pale blue satin blouse, light coloured hosiery, three inch black patent heeled court shoes. Her auburn shoulder length hair was shiny and she tucked a stray strand behind her ear. I observed discreet diamond stud earrings, a watch, but no rings.

"Good morning sir, how may I help you?" she asked gently.

"I am here for my appointment," I managed to reply.

"Please come in," she invited opening the door wider.

We had agreed to no real names and no personal information, but the greeting and reply was effectively our passwords. I felt like I was in some spy movie.

"I don't bite and you can leave at any time, as long as you're suitably dressed," she teased as she closed the door behind me.

I think she had picked up on my nervousness. I managed a smile. What was I doing? I was normal, wasn't I, and yet I had taken this to the next level. I had a secret. I was going to be dressed by a stranger as a girl. This was a go or no go point. I wanted to run, but I wanted to stay more.

"Tea or coffee?" She offered leading the way further into the house.

Stay or go? I looked at the door and then at her disappearing form. I made a decision.

"Coffee, white... 2 sugars please," I requested following her into the kitchen.

"Take a seat, relax, everyone is nervous their first time, but it adds to the excitement."

I sat and looked around the room. All neat and tidy, but no photos, no personal items: it felt like one of those show houses. The lady set a cup and saucer in front of me. I wasn't used to a cup and saucer: in my house I had always used a mug.

We shared a bit of chit chat for twenty minutes: the weather, traffic, my journey, but nothing personal. I was tense. It was like attending a job interview and the waiting was always the worst.

I guessed that the house had been recently renovated including the new kitchen. It may have been recently decorated, but there was no smell of paint. I wondered about the other rooms. What secrets did they hold? I watched my host as she moved around the room. I tried to be subtle as I inspected her. From her perfect auburn hair, dark brown eyes, to her manicured nails that were painted glossy black. The shiny softness of her blouse caught the light. Was the lady wearing tights or stockings? No rings or finger tan lines to suggest she was married. I listened to the tapping of her high heled patent black court shoes on the tiled floor as she moved around the room. She wore a delicate perfume that I decided I liked. What would it be like to wear perfume? My thoughts were interrupted.

"Do you have your envelope?" she asked.

My heart hammered in my chest. It was time. I reached into my inside jacket pocket and retrieved the required envelope. It was pale pink as per instructions. I handed it over. My hands were shaking.

"I trust you have followed your instructions?"

I nodded.

"Then, let us begin. Come with me," she instructed.

I followed her as she ascended the stairs aware of her hosed legs and heels before me. There was a whisper from the fine stockings and her underskirts. At the top of the stairs there were several dark panelled doors set into matching frames. The walls were a pale grey. There were paintings of ballet dancers and French maids on the walls. The lady opened the door to the first room and entered. I followed obediently. It was small, limited to a single bed and a wooden chair. The walls were a subtle orange, like warm sunshine. The blinds were closed.

"So here is the way it works, "she began.

"You undress, place your clothes in the bag provided and I will be back in ten minutes."

She left and closed the door quietly. I half expected a lock, but I checked and the door opened. Her perfume lingered just enough that I could sense it. I looked around and didn't see any cameras, but I knew that tiny cameras could be concealed almost anywhere.

I sat on the bed, removed my shoes and socks placing them in the bag. I added the jacket, shirt and trousers. I hesitated before adding the shorts. I was now naked. I was conscious of my body as I had removed all body hair except for my eyebrows and that on top of my head. Somehow by being hairless increased the intensity of the experience. I started at a knock on the door clearly the ten minutes had elapsed.

"Please come in," I requested placing my hands over my genitals.

The door opened and the lady entered. She was now wearing a royal blue nurse's uniform. Her pale hose were replaced with black seamed stockings, but she had retained the black patent shiny high heeled shoes.