All Comments on 'Chloe and Cy Pt. 02'

I'm not really into father/daughter stories and nearly dropped this one when I realized what it was in Chapter 1. I'm also usually not a big fan of the multi-narrator point of view. However, your writing is well done. It's quick, it's witty, and your buildup of tension is excellent. And, surprisingly, you've actually made the back/forth viewpoints work well - I do believe this may be the first time I've seen it and thought that. So here I am at the end of Chapter 2 of a story line that, by my typical interests, shouldn't have made it off the ground... and looking forward to Chapter 3.

I typically don't write in this genre. I prefer more fantasy and romance or science fiction. Occasionally, like with, Soft-Mouthed Sandy, I get challenged by friends or writers to try something outside my spectrum.

I will not vote until the end. At the beginning of the first chapter I thought 'usual for this writer, to simple'. Then I remembered who this author actually is. And I sort of understood. Now I'm very curious.

'Cause we all get it in

The end'

I have to correct mistakes in my own comment:

I thought 'unusual for this writer, too simple'.

The characters pop; I just don't like them much. Especially Christine. Hate the pot, hate the boxing at meaningless shadows of the "patriarchy". I hate when people do damage to themselves over something that's not real or only in their brain, probably because I do it so often. We waste so much time at it.

What would make the characters more relatable or sympathetic in your opinion?