Choosing Love Pt. 02

Lisa steps away, then the light disappears, and so too the warm hands that had held me. My soul, feeling the separation, does not want to abandon what has been discovered—there is more, I know deep inside there is more to experience and to understand! Then Lisa's warm touch returns, laying close and I instinctively surrender into that warmth, spreading my legs wide as she settles on top of me.

"Shhh, not too loud," she whispers to me. "Your parents will hear." Lisa's words remind me where I am, yet cannot dampen the burning fire of my need. Nothing can hold back this hunger for love that is welling up from deep within my soul—my body now the only way to set it free.

Wrapping both arms around the warmth that lays on me, I lay passive and open under her. Such soft warmth, so gentle and tender, then Lisa's kisses begin lightly on my lips, only to quickly trace downward to my neck. The kisses tickle, but are soon on their way further down...and further, until they find the nipple that has patiently awaited just such a kiss! Too soon my aroused nipple is abandoned, but quickly the other one takes its own turn delighting in the loving kisses Lisa offers. Back and forth she goes, each nipple getting it's turn...and each kiss sending fresh new jolting bolts of pleasure downward to my throbbing sex!

Then a new pressure between my legs steals my attention away, and I instinctively push upward in response to the warmth pushing into me! Again and again I fuck upward as Lisa pushes down into me. Nuzzling her kisses into my neck, she is grinding and rubbing as if trying to wipe my inflamed need away in victory! I feel myself sinking deeper into a bliss I have never experienced as Lisa's urgent aggression pleasures me in a magical way that is so new, yet so natural, instinctive and fulfilling! Finally, abandoning all that has ever come before in my whole life, I surrender completely to my desire and lust—my legs lift and spread wider, opening myself completely! I am driven by a hunger so deep it is becoming an almost unconscious act of primal sexual need!

My love for her leads the way as I open for her and wrap my legs higher up on Lisa's thighs and pull her tighter— urging her for more! I never knew—could have never known, that it could be like this! Slick and wet and more fulfilling than anything ever imagined, and yet so soft and tender and safe. Finally, it's that safe sense of connection so deep that it warms me and melts away everything but this moment.

As if in a wonderful dream, I feel the slick wet proof of Lisa's own arousal on my tummy, thighs and cunt—knowing that I am marking her in the same way. This almost unbearable intimacy feels more natural than anything I've ever experienced. It is all so new, tinged with faint thoughts of something forbidden—yet more instinctive, powerful and wonderful than anything I've ever known! Surely in some past life we have been lovers...now rejoined to be lovers for all of eternity!

I try to stifle my groans of pleasure as the electric connection with Lisa's warm body pushes me over the edge into wave after wave of emotions fueled by the orgasm that cuts me free from everything that's ever held me chained in darkness and fear! I turn loose of all that has come before and fall into this wonderful abyss...somehow suspended floating in a darkness filled with sacred light. Never again will I deny Sacred Love her rightful place! Never again will I live with Love shut out and cut off because of fear and doubt!

Lisa again has to muffle my cries with her kiss to my lips—but in that moment, with her soft lips on mine, the sudden pleasure radiating outward from my own orgasm pushes me to pull her lips even harder into mine, not out of fear, but love! It is in that moment I feel Lisa's body answering mine with her own release as we become one in our shared moment of total surrender!

We're engulfed in a mixture of almost infinite pleasure tangled up with a need to be quiet lest we be discovered...and yet Lisa has made this the most wonderful moment of my life! Everything seems to fall into place, as my release cripples me. In this weakened state I feel Lisa's power on top of me, like a conqueror filling me with a satisfaction I have never experienced. She fucked me to an orgasm...and I did the same for her! I can never go back! Never!

Even still, we are slowly humping together as one—not wanting it to end. Finally spent, I feel my body relax as she lays on top of me. I feel so proud to be the one to bring her this pleasure. I know that, after this, neither of us will ever be the same. We have found that which was hidden—but will never be lost again.

I lay passive, spread and open as Lisa slowly rocks her soaked mound along my slit as we come back down. God, we are so wet, and it feels so wonderful. I have never felt like that this, ever. It's so easy to just let go and float into such sweet safety—such a delightful and erotic sense of security unlike anything I've ever known seems to be flowing through every part of my body and soul. Conquered by Lisa's power and love, I'm happy to just lay under her, drifting in a bliss between reality and a dream—the most wonderful place I've ever been in my life. I have just experienced the best sex and the most love I have ever known!

Exhausted, we finally relax, our spent and sated bodies untangle without ever losing touch. Quickly, we move close again. I'm half on and half off of Lisa's body, one leg between Lisa's, her arm cradling my head—her breast so soft, caressing my face. We are both a wet mess, but too exhausted to try to clean up. With my parents so close by in their own bedroom it's just easier to cuddle and come down together from the high of what we've just experienced.

Sleep visits, unknown but luxurious. Each time we stir in the night, we just snuggle back together into a perfect peace and an inner calm that is so new—so unknown until this night. The contentment we whispered about before falling to sleep wraps us in a cocoon of safety and serenity.

When we again stir awake the room smells of sex—to me it smells of love. Peeking at the clock that's been there since I was just a girl, I whisper, "It's just past midnight."

It had seemed like only a few minutes of rest to recover before more—but we both now know it is only the first of what we will share and there will be many such nights.

Happy, warm and safe, I snuggle back into Lisa's warmth and whisper, "I never knew it could be like that."

"Me either...I think I'm falling in love with you."

"I know...me too."

Laying next to Lisa, listening to her quiet breath, I think we both know there is more waiting to be said—questions to be asked—fears to discuss. That's not for tonight though, this is Love's night to harness passions and thrill our bodies—to nurture and strengthen the bond being forged between our souls. I know I'm ready to let Love's beauty purify us both like gold and temper our strength like iron for the trials we might face together. It can't be known for certain, but I also feel angels must be smiling as we snuggle closer and drift back into sleep.

*****

Christmas Day 1966:

Kendra, Lisa and the Family: Gifts Large and Small

The day dawns bright and sunny, I can hear my mother up early putting the final touches to the Christmas dinner. I also know Papa is off delivering a few small gifts to friends like he always does on Christmas. Lisa and I both come out of my room feeling self conscious and in a desperate need to take a shower.

"Would it be okay if I take a shower, a morning shower gets me awake for the day," Lisa asks my mother.

"Of course, make yourself at home dear."

Turning to me she says, "You look rested this morning. Maybe being home is good for you. I'm just sick over Bobby and all that's happened."

Trying to not get too close until after I take a shower I say, "I know Mom, me too. But I've put it behind me. I'm going to divorce him as soon as that's possible."

"As awful as that sounds, your father and I think it's the best thing."

"I'm relieved to hear you say that. Let's just bury it until Bobby get's back, he's ruined enough days, let's not let him ruin anymore, okay?"

"I agree one hundred percent. Did you sleep well...was the bed okay?"

"We both slept like the dead, I think. Sorry for sleeping in so late."

"Oh, shush, I just wish you both could stay longer. You're working too hard, it sounds like to me."

I watch her as she bustles around the kitchen, the queen of her domain. I've always loved her, but now I can really appreciate that love. I have been so blessed...and I'm finally starting to see that now.

In response to her concern about working to hard, I tell her, "Actually, I enjoy my job. I didn't at first, but I meet all kinds of people and most of them are really nice. But being around Lisa and her friends, I have thought I should have gone to college. Do you think it's still possible?"

"Of course it's still possible. We would both like to see you do that. Papa says it's the way of the future, the good jobs will require a good education. You may like your job now, but as you get older I think you'll regret not trying for more."

"I already took the ACT test at school here before I graduated. There's a community college near where we live too. I could take some night classes and see how it goes, I guess there's not much to lose in trying."

My mother breaks through my hope of getting a shower first and hugs me tight and says, "That's a perfect plan. And don't forget, if it's something you want to do, there's money set aside for it."

"I hate to take your hard earned money Mom," I say truthfully as I step back a couple of steps, pretending to get need a glass of water.

"I'll tell you a secret, but you can't ever tell. It broke Papa's heart when neither of you girls went to college. You know how he preached about it to you both. It would be one of the best gifts you could ever give us if you'd use that money he saved for you and bought a future with it. It would make him feel like he succeeded in raising you and getting you prepared for a good life."

I see the tears in my mother's eyes by the end of sharing that secret, and now there are tears in my eyes as well, but mine are tears mixed with both sadness and joy. I'm finally old enough to understand how much pain and sadness I've brought to my parents. After the tears finish the cleansing of past pain, I tell her, "Thank you for telling me Mom. I'll try to make it up to you both."

Lisa walks into the kitchen just as we finished hugging one more time, I sense that this is a hug of healing and of a new and more mature friendship. Gently, I pull away, "My turn in the shower. I need to freshen up a little too before Papa gets home." I hurry on my way, hoping desperately I hadn't smelled too strongly of sex.

Walking to the bathroom, I could tell Lisa was feeling a little awkward now that she would be alone with my mother, I try to think of something to say. However, Mom just jumps in and puts Lisa to work setting the table and helping with the last little details for the coming feast. If she had any inkling that Lisa and I had enjoyed the most intimate and life changing sex of our lives last night, she didn't give any hint of it.

Sadly, since we have a long drive back, the day has to be cut short. The visit's been an enjoyable and more life changing time for us all than I could have imagined. I was especially touched when Papa heard about my plans for college, he had to step outside for a while to 'take care of something he forgot'. We all knew it was really to hide his tears of joy and thanksgiving.

The best and truest Christmas gift for me, and I'm sure Lisa too, is our turn toward something much deeper between us. The biggest surprise though, is the new bond we both made with my parents. It is all way more than we had expected starting out on this trip. Yes, many things have changed. It's been a good trip, a time of sharing gifts both large and small...a time to remember with joy forever.

*****

Early Spring 1967

Kendra: Our New Life Begins

Springtime is alive with the colors and sounds of newborn life. It is also filled with the joys of new love. After making love that Christmas Eve, there can be no going back. A forbidden and cryptic mystery had been uncovered in the darkness where our naked flesh and trembling souls had entwined as one. Now, that which had been only a simmering undiscovered love is fully alive.

No, we never looked back after that night. Social norms are changing in some places, but Texas isn't California or a commune in New Mexico, and prudence is still the best course. At least now it is possible to hope for this love we have uncovered, our own self constructed barriers that might have held love in check have now fallen. With those self imposed walls and restrictions against this forbidden love now gone—suddenly, the light of freedom dissolves every shadow of our fear and doubt.

The first change is to push the twin beds together into one, and that has quickly become our favorite place in many ways. A place to lay back and read or study—a place to talk, sharing secrets no one else knows—a place to sit and brush the other's hair—a place to rub the soreness out of a back or tired feet. Most beautiful of all, the big bed is a place to learn gentle touches and ways that bring pleasure to the one you love. It is even a place to sleep. Now naked and close together, all pajamas long banished to the bottom of a drawer.

*****

Early Spring 1967

Kendra: I Begin My Climb

I can't hold back the yawn as the instructor drones on and on about the timeline of the Civil War. I smile, recalling how Lisa complained about this very thing. But, it's a required class and every Tuesday and Thursday night I'll endure the torture required to get to my goal.

As the teacher drones on, I let my mind drift. Unlike history class, I love the math on the other three nights. I'm proud of myself to be one of the top students in that one and it gives me ideas on where to take my studies. Looking around me, it's clear the classes here aren't like Lisa's. Mine are mostly filled with people like me who finally realized the importance of a college degree. And like me, it is pretty obvious many of them work during the day before coming to class—and probably they'll go home and do the assignments before going to bed.

I could be sorry for myself, I guess. Instead, I choose to be forever thankful to my folks and the owner of the Coffee Cup Cafe. It's just his kindness that let him agree to no more Saturday shifts—he didn't have to do that. He just encourages me to press on and improve my life. Without all the help I would be screwed.

The money available through government grants that started just last year really makes it possible. Without it I would've had to use money my folks had put aside, but now I only need a little help instead of them being strapped for the whole cost. It's all of this that makes it all possible.

As the droning voice keeps going, I realized I have so have many things to be thankful for.

My pulse skips as the thought of Bobby intrudes. Why would I even think of him now?He's so quickly fading from my life...what made me think of him just now? I guess I still care for him, but it's all different now. There's no emotional desire and certainly no physical desire, of that I'm certain. This is more like just compassion—maybe concern—for a friend who's lost his way. There's nothing I can do to help you Bobby, sorry.

The bell brings my attention back, and gratefully I pack up to go home.

*****

April 1967

Lisa and Kendra: The Springtime of Our Love

By the time March passes into April, our life together is on an even and steady path. There isn't much extra money to spend, but there's also not a lot to spend it on unless we go up to Austin. There's a much larger population of the hippie folks we both prefer to be around up there and it's fun to be a part when we can. Also, like a lot of college students around the country are doing, we drive up to the University of Texas so we can add our voices to some protests about the war.

For the most part though, we both mainly look forward to driving our car west into the hill country on the weekends, especially now that the weather is so warm. The rugged country there gives us a sense of freedom from all the rest of life's mundane routines. Plus, the need for friends and crowds is fading as each day we grow closer in our love.

Together we discover our secluded places, some we sneak into under sagging barbed wire fences and others are in the back corners of state parks. It's the private spots we seek, places that either don't interest or are just too far out of the way for the families and teenage boys. We don't need many such private spots, just the few where we know no one will intrude.

The places we love tend to always have the crystal clear running water the hill county is known for, and also the white limestone that's been carved and shaped over millions of years so we can find a nice flat place to lay naked and open in nature with the warm sun on our bare skin. In our secret places there is never any noise to intrude except for the songs the cascading water plays as it tumbles over the rocks. Sometimes it's a loud and portentous thundering of warning as it rushes over a high ledge of rock, while at another place it's just a soft and tender whisper of invitation calling us to jump in. In the places of the softer whispers, there is usually an accompanying chorus of song birds hidden in the nearby brush. Regardless of which place we choose, the warm rocks and the live water are just background pleasures for the growing intimacy that we come to explore.

Unlike our first time, the night when Love first saved us, these new explorations are fueled by both growing passion and confidence. It's almost an urgent demand we have to discover all the secret delights a tongue can bring to a body. Or how many ways lips can show love and give pleasure. It seems to be our new challenge to find the answer to these questions, and we try hard to answer them all.

After a time of exploring and learning these new delights, we start to explore deeper into the ways to both, give sexual delight...and gently demand it be given. We have a growing confidence in using the delicate body language of lovers and are learning how to read each other in ways neither of us ever experienced with another person before. Thankfully, we now spend a lot of time together in our hands on study of this most enjoyable subject.

Now, after many weekends tick off the calendar, we are also discovering how it feels to dominate and be dominated...

*****

Late April, 1967

Kendra: Putting Pieces Together

I lay on my side, my head propped up resting on an elbow. We're once again talking about our evolving relationship as we lay nude on our towels under the warm sun. I trust Lisa's knowledge on this stuff more than my own. I just go with how it makes me feel. But Lisa being Lisa, she try's to figure out the why of it all. I think she's the smartest person I've ever known...and she's still studying to get smarter.

"I think my inclination to try to be strong—and I guess I can be a little on the dominant side in most of my relationships. Anyway, I've thought about this, and I think my personality has just steadily pushed me into a subtle protectiveness over you," Lisa says as we lay close on our towels talking, the warmth of the rock ledge radiating up to comfort us.

"I can see that, now that you put it like that. I think that once I first figured it out, I just sorta instinctively accepted you doing that. Actually, in hindsight I think it's been growing since the first time we sat in the cafe talking about me sharing your apartment," I confess.