All Comments on 'Chrissy's Deception Pt. 01'

I was hoping you'd start another.

Please continue. I really like this one.

Loved the story! looking forward to much more chapters ofthis story and Soon !!

keep it up.

You've written a very fine story.

You've created a pair of very good characters and placed them in a trying situation. It's a too common situation, where people obfuscate their feelings and actions, but it makes for a really good story.

The settings were very good, well described and quite real. The secondary characters added nicely to the narrative.

And once again the loving in your is so sensual and warm. My favourite way for it to be.

Good to see you back and on top of your game, Jewel.

It was well written and caught my attention and held it. Please finish it.

Dick

From the beginning, this story caught my attention with its elaborate situations and engaging characters. I'm looking forward to the rest.

A sweet story.A bit rushed, with little character development. One can't help but wonder what is his attraction? A guy this good looking needs a bit more than 2 witty comments to get hooked. all in all good but a bit fake.

She used him as a living sperm donor and she's shocked he's pissed?

She's a liar, using a man in the worst way. His feelings about being a father matter not at all to her. His not knowing matters not at all. Despicable.

I notice a number of folks showing shock and surprise at Chrissy's actions. But, in this day and age, is it truly so far fetched?

The thing that I find most wrong about this story is the EQUAL parts of deception. Yes, Chrissy's deception was an extremely low blow, however there are enough scumbag father's out there that Mike the Marine is a truly of a rare breed. Mike's counter deception, however, seems equally perplexing to me, though, again, I think we can blame it on the corp.

Looking forward to reading Ch 2.

I'm sorry. I liked the idea of the story and I like the characters well enough, but I could hardly get past the first page. I really dislike having to learn about characters and their backgrounds from long expository passages. It's lazy storytelling. The best stories let the characters and their history unfold in the process of living the present story. I know it's much harder, but it makes for a much better tale.