All Comments on 'Christi -First Time Shared'

You wrote a story completely without one character speaking. Back to writing class. Why do people post this garbage?

Nothing bad about this story. Not enough of it to really critique though.

What to say about this story? "I have always wanted to share her but haven't been able to get her to consent..." And as he knew that his wife "would let herself loosen up after a few glasses of wine", so he let it happen!!! Then the waiter was available (the restaurant only had two tables (as written in the story) and so the waiter could be always by their side looking down his wife breats and filling her glass with wine...Then all went to the waiter's house and more wine...With so much wine the wife didn't care who she fucked...It's that funny? isn't it almost the same as to give some woman a rape pill unnoticed to her? She had her defenses down...The question here is: would she do it, without the drink? So this was one sided fun: his side!!! That's what a loving husband would do? Really? 1*

Actually the restaurant was quite busy when we got there. We were there for quite a while and it thinned out. That's why he only had two tables left. We had a fantasy of a threesome for a while but never went through with it until that night.

If you can't say something positive why say anything at all? Your negativity makes people not want to post their stories!

" It was about 7 1\2-8 inches with a lot of girth." If that were in my pants, it would look pretty damn big to me.

More insight into thoughts and feelings would be great thourgh. I am sure you and your wife talked about this afterward, if so, how was she feeling? What did you do when you got home, were you so aroused you took her again? How long was your sex life at home ramped up because of the incident? Did you try to formalize the sharing by looking for other partners online?

And btw, a 7 1/2 cock is huge, it is likein the top 1% so it sorta hurts the credibility a bit of the tale, not saying it isnt true, but that is a nice size cock so to write as if the waiter's cock was average comes off like a stroke tale.

As this is your first submission, you're probably as confused as I am when I submitted my first story. You probably thought that this is an erotic website, based on its name, and that the Loving Wives section would be the logical place to share your story, based on this category's description. Sadly, you're wrong on both assumptions.

Readers in this section generally don't look for eroticism in their stories. I know, that sounds weird. Why visit a site called "Literotica" to read non-erotic stories? And if that's the type of story you're looking for, why not peruse the Non-Erotic category instead? Two excellent questions! I've been trying to answer those questions since I discovered this site. If you ever find out, please let me know.

You've probably noticed that many/most of the readers in this category seem to be very angry and (for readers of pornographic stories) weirdly judgmental. I have learned this much in my time here: these men visit this section of the site as a form of therapy. It's a strange place to find solace, I agree, but this seems to be true. These men have been hurt by women in the past, and they enjoy reading stories about brainless, evil, heartless women who get their comeuppance.

They are junkies addicted to stories of women-bashing, and they have a handful of dealers here who are more than happy to deliver their daily fix. Stories like yours are a real slap in the face to them, which is why they lash out with such venom whenever an author dares to write a tale about a wife who has sex outside of her marriage and doesn't end up dead, divorced, and/or humiliated.

Okay, now to your story. I think you had an interesting premise here, but you rushed through it too quickly and didn't give the readers a chance to connect with any of the characters. Watching a porn clip of two people having sex isn't necessarily thrilling or erotic. If we learn that the woman in the clip is a sexually-frustrated housewife and the man is her former high school teacher who always had a crush on her, THEN the scene becomes interesting and erotic.

We readers know nothing about the characters in this story except that hubby wanted to share his wife, and she didn't want to do so. Why? Is she shy and sexually repressed? Is she ultra-religious? Or is she just like most normal wives who take their wedding vows seriously? And what about hubby? Why does he feel such a strong urge to share?

As others have pointed out, the best way for an author to let us know a character's personality is to allow them to SPEAK. There wasn't a single bit of dialog in this entire story. Absent that, it was impossible to connect with any of these characters.

This story would also have benefitted from a little tension. Would she or wouldn't she go through with it? Would she get angry at hubby once she discovered what he was up to? What if the waiter wasn't the prototypical stud at first, before relaxing a bit and delivering the goods? There are so many ways to introduce some tension and drama into a story and capture the readers' interest.

This story is a rough sketch, but it is your first effort, so you deserve a little slack. That said, this is a tough crowd, and you won't find a lot of constructive criticism here. I encourage you to continue writing. My advice: shut off the rating feature. It's pointless in this category, anyway, but most importantly it drives those angry old men crazy!

You mother fucker! How dare you encourage an author that is not on the approved list! That is a violation of the Loving Wives Association! It's like the Homeowner's Association, only more bitter. We can't give out fines because we have no real power, but we can 1 bomb your stories. And we are very generous with those 1 bombs! LMAO.

Now for the story. Normally I would have walked past it without leaving a comment, but Joe's comment had me laughing so hard I couldn't resist. Unfortunately author, I have to agree with the others on this story. There was no tension, dialogue, or basic interaction in this story. This story will receive enough hate as it is, but it will also fail to engage people who actually do enjoy a good story without worrying about the morality or justice of it. So, in this case, the score that it has is actually correct.

If you do post another story, follow the advice of the others (with the exception of Mr. 45 in a forest). Good luck in the future.

Give it a rest. Sorry, I keep forgetting you two use this site as therapy too. It's not just the anonymous and negative readers, it's also the swingers and willing cuckolds that need therapy. lol You two crack me up.Just as bad as the moaners maybe even worse.

No comment on story. The word "wifesharing" stopped me in my tracks. Usually means non-erotic.

If you really think sombody's cum all over your wife's chest is sexy.

Just have a few folks come over and blow their noses on it.

Especially those with really good snot slinging head colds...

I'll bet you'll think that is really cool

I can always count on you to entertain. No doubt about it, the feedback is more fun to read than the actual story. What would a feedback be without the usual participation of SharedSigne and Lex 1. The more the merrier. Always worth a laugh. Keep up the good work guys. Love it. Wasn't much to read today but oh, the comments are priceless. Even though they're predictable, still worth the effort. lol (signed ML)

So the husband suffers from a mental illness that compels him to induce his wife into cheating on their marriage by drugging her with ethanol. Now if the story was about the husband's mental illness and his betrayal of his marriage vows to respect and protect his wife, then maybe it would be interesting. But this story introduces the husband's compulsion without explaining how or why he became mentally unbalanced. It just goes into the details of how he perpetrated his betrayal, including graphic descriptions of the rape. Since I'm not a woman I don't know what the difference is between reluctant sex and being raped. As a man I know that women will sometimes subjugate themselves to their man's desires. But a real man does not abuse that gift. The husband in this story was a selfish abusive asshole. And what is fun or interesting about what selfish abusive assholes do to women, especially those women who have invested their trust and honor in the relationship?

So if you meant to portray a real ugly story about two worthless assholes who fucked over a drunk compliant woman, congratulations. If this was supposed to be erotic or interesting, you failed.

....commenters have covered this, but in your shoes, I'd,commit,to a longer story, so I could do more with character development. Your style is pretty comfortable, but you suffer from the neophyte's "get it out there" syndrome. That tends to make the piece feel a bit like a news report, very little human interest, because the characters are one-dimensional (cardboard, if you will).

If you want readers to relate to your characters and so, you story, you must provide some of the human warmth to them that makes them seem like people we'd want to invite to dinner, or punch out their lights. Either way, we can emote to characters that offer something to connect with.

Most of good writing involves good characterization, good situational or locational presentation, and a good story idea.

What discourages me above anything else, is writers that rehash storylines that have been retold hundreds of times (like their offering could do it better? I don't know or claim to understand the thought process there).

It helps, if your idea has twists and turns, drama and depression....you know, emotions that we can connect with or relate to.

Not a bad first try, but slightly wooden and a bit on the common side for my taste.

I hope y'all try a richer offering at some point and that the troglodytes and cuck gorillas won't dissuade you. Tell stories you like and stick with what you know. It won't matter, because you'll get fried by someone here, no matter what. Just tell stories you can get excited about and I ignore anything but useful advice, constructive criticism (like, that move didn't make any sense), and you'll be fine. If your goal is to improve as a writer, well......welcome to the fire pit!

Thank you and good luck.

FunPaul: Welcome to Loving Wives. You have a good number of comments, but only a few offer any help. At the risk of ridicule by the heartbroken men who read LW I’d like to try to offer a few suggestions.

#1 Read swingerjoe’s comments and work. You may not agree with his choice of lifestyle, but the man can write. He knows something about the craft of creative writing.

#2 Dialogue indeed gives us insight into our character’s souls in a unique way unmatchable by other means.

#3 Conflict is the life of a story, unfortunately you have included very little. Instead it sounds like a factual account of a night in the life of you and your wife. Judging from one of your comments, it might be just that. If it is, just as an exercise, rewrite it and throw in a lot of bullshit—make it sound right if you were telling a tale to the boys on your next fishing trip. In other words, they’d expect nothing but a lie, but make it the best lie ever. Tell us how hard it was to get wifey to agree every step of the way, from wearing a revealing top to finally agreeing to join you and the waiter for a drink at his place. Make both of you have to work for your reward. (Try to work in as many of the senses as you can.)

#4 Proofread, proofread, proofread; and be sure to wait a day or two between times. You know what you wrote, or what you meant to write, but is that really the words on the paper? I have just reread one of my stories I was sure was ready for submission, and I found several typos after about the eighth proof.

#5 Finally to answer Anonymous of 6/22/16 who asked, “Why are we being bombarded with wanna be ‘writers’ like this?” The answer is simple—we are too damn cheap to go down to Barnes and Noble and shell out the money for the work of an accomplished writer. This and sites like it are the breeding grounds of tomorrow’s bestselling authors. We have the unique opportunity to contribute—the question is, “Will we light a candle, or will we just bitch about the dark?”

I like a good first time shared wife story.

At the risk of ridicule? Hell man, you should be used to it by now, or did you toughen up that skin of yours. lol You could use a lesson or two yourself in the art of erotic literature.

What is it about the great American male that makes them want to watch their wives have sex, I hope it isn't catching.

Anything is possible but if she is at all atractive you won't keep her.

Well, I think there are a few American males that have a few screws loose upstairs, but I also wonder about the British males who want to take their wives out dogging in the woods. Talk about weird. I wonder if they're related to the Americans? Suppose?

Excellent story. Keep on writing!

Or maybe - just maybe - this is a common MALE fantasy that has no relevance to nationality. You think? It sure would explain why there are SO many stories and videos of men sharing their wives.

If some of you feel that these types of stories aren't erotic, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!?

Maybe you did a Google search on "faithful wife stories" and mistakenly came to this site instead? Maybe you thought "swinging" refers to playground activities, and "sharing" and "swapping" refers to recipes?

Seriously...WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!

They get off on these stories, but hate themselves for it. So they lash out. Or they're just sad, pathetic men who get off bullying people they perceive as weaker than then, but the only place to find those people is anonymously on the internet on a porn site. If they tried to act all tough and dominant anywhere else they'd be laughed at, so they come here.

Their favorite authors egg them on and defend them from even the most basic attempts at moderating comments here with cries of censorship because those authors only feel like big strong men when they're being praised by these anonymous little cowards. Usually because the anons are lonely virgins and the authors are guys whose wives left them and they're terrified to admit it might have been even a little bit their fault.

1st - I didn't know this was a true story about you and your wife...2nd - I'm still thinking that if he and his wife had a fantasy of a threesome for some time, why the need to make her drunk? Wouldn't her pleasure be better if she wasn't? 3rd - If the restaurant was full how did the waiter had time to be always at their table looking down her blouse? My doubts are still there...Nothing against a threesome, if all people are in agreement...4th - I just highlighted the weak points of this story for me...

Within an hour of making that comment I've recieved three anonymous emails, despite having anonymous feedback turned off there's no actual check when someone sends feedback, two of which made direct references or threats of sexual violence at me or at my wife (I'm unclear if the one directed at me understands I'm male or not, there are a lot of male readers here who seem to want to have sex with me though based on past feedback.)

This section is nothing but a cesspool of toxicity and anonymous abuse, and Laurel is either too lazy or too bad at running a site to do anything about it despite having admitted that this section was never meant for the violent, sad, insecure little boys of the btb crowd.

This was a good story, especially for being your first submission. The fact that this is based on your actual experience instead of being fiction, makes it even more exciting. The only negative was that the wife was probably too drunk to consciously consent. Maybe your sequels could develop the wife into an actual Hot Wife, who enjoys the scene and participates willingly.

Waiters tend to be young, reasonably attractive and horny; so, this is a good pick-up strategy. My wife and I have done this same scenario a few times at resorts and really enjoyed it.

Keep writing!

I am female and happily married, if my husband thought it would be a good idea to share me, he would see the inside of a divorce court before he could blink, and if he added a date rape drug into the mix he would be also seeing the inside of a jail cell quicker than he could blink. Hah! that being said I am one of the BTB/B crowd so long as the revenge/retribution is inventive and permanent. There seems to be a lot of generalising going on here, we BTB crowd are as many and varied as the rest of readers, so please quit with the namecalling of bitter old men.

You are not the first and you won't be the last but you really do need to ask yourself if it is OK to manipulate a drunk person into doing something they wouldn't do when sober.

You say "if my husband thought it would be a good idea to share me, he would see the inside of a divorce court before he could blink".

I do hope you would discuss with him why he thought it was a "good idea" before dragging him along to the divorce court. (After all, if you weren't able to discuss it with him, what would be the basis of your statement that you are "happily married"?)

It would be an interesting conversation. If it was conducted in an intelligent manner with attempts on both sides to understand each other's viewpoints, the outcome could be a much stronger marriage bond.

I thought your comment on the BTB stories was perceptive. You like the revenge and retribution to be "inventive". I hate revenge and retribution, but I accept that these stories can be the most inventive.

From those few I have read, I have been intrigued by the husbands' detective work in 'proving' that their wives were 'cheating', and by the creativity those husbands displayed in wreaking revenge on the wandering wife and her paramour.

A loving wife story in which the husband never finds out about her infidelity, or he accepts it in some way, can never match the creativity and excitement of a BTB story. Sadly.

Lue

Now we got the real troll of LW frontline throwing out his two bits. For heavens sake people do you guys really know what you sound like? A bunch of cry babies. Wah,wah, wah. I got my feelings hurt bitching about fiction characters on a porn site. Get a fucking life, all of you. I find being pissed on rather gross, but I bet some of you think it's erotic.

As to the question anonymous had about why people are here on a porn site. The same fucking reason you are asshole. To bitch about other readers. Yeah, yeah.

Can't say a fucking thing about this story, since I didn't read it. Reading you guys whine is more fun than reading the smut this author probably wrote. That's an assumption based on the comments. lol

go looking for clients elsewhere, old whore, you are getting tiresome.

For sharedWhore, frontShit, lueCunt, swingerFag and all the usual whiners. Bla bla bla bla...

I love wife sharing stories and so do all the other people on this porn site or else they would find their entertainment elsewhere.

To the Anonymous who points out I could use a lesson or two in the art of erotic literature.

Right on brother, I couldn’t agree with you more! In fact I have been reading books on the subject and on creative writing in general since I retired. I’ve also taken courses on creative writing. I only mention this to show you I’m willing to learn.

Since you are obviously an expert on the subject, I’d really appreciate your pointing out one or two mistakes you find in my writing. I assure you I’d make every effort to correct any legitimate problems you might find. I know you are not one of the Trolls who can’t write, but can only bitch, so I’ll expect to hear from you soon.

Thanks, thecarolinadreamer

I love the way the anons get under your skin carolinadreamer. It took you only one day to retaliate. Well done. How often do you come back to your comments to check if anybody bitched about you? What's the matter with you? Haven't you learned that everybody bitches about anything and everybody in this category. You do it all the time. Did you really expect anything else?

Wish i were your waiter.

What is large to you?... True it is slightly above average, but my 60 year old, 9-10" cock <depending on blood pressure> is only average for our group... and no I don't use a blue pill... our biggest has been measured out at just a fraction over 11"... our smallest was 3"... so how can anyone say anything about credibility to size? If you don't see them that just means you travel in the wrong circles... oh and no I am not a porn star... I am a comp tech...

FunPaul,

Enjoyable story. We all hear the stories of a wife's past and fantasize about her with another cock. Once it happens, the fantasy becomes real and it's mindblowing. It's amazing watching your wife take another cock isn't it?

Reading this hot erotic story reminds me of the time my wife Debbie and I did something similar But instead of a waiter it was a total stranger in a bar. Debbie was drinking Long Island iced teas and after the 3rd one me Debbie and this guy Dave went for a walk to this little park next to the water that was really dark within no time we had Debbie dress off and naked and was having sex with her on the picnic table totally exciting sharing my wife in a public place. when we got home she told me she wasn't that drunk and was just acting that way so I wouldn't think she was a slut. it was just a one-time thing the but fun..... I think I will let her read this story and who knows. Thank you Debbie & Robert From Las Vegas....

The richness of the descriptions, the fine attention to detail, and the depth of feelings leave the reader the distinct impression the story is 100% true, and that it was written WHILE you were admiring your lovely wife enjoyed by another man!

On to sharing her with women, too!

Five stars all the way to the author; six to his lovely wife!

It is regretable that your story became the place for the negatives of Anonymous and the battles among posters with different views. Ignoring the uglies, you did get some good advice from some good writers, SharedSigne and thecarolinadreamer to start with. The observations by thecarolinadreamer on swingerjoe are on target; swingerjoe is a good writer. I will not repeat what I think is actually good advice and encouragement they already gave you. I hope that you are open enough to receive both and intelligent enough to ignore needless derogatory and insulting comments.

While I appreciate that this is offered as a true story, that does not mean it is to be a report. True or not, it is for Literotica, so a goal of it being literary and erotic is wothwhile. Pleasing Anonymous is, of course, a waste of time and tailoring to fit the crowd's view of what should or should not be in this category is impossible.

Give it another go. Discuss your ideas with an editor or whatever works for you. This is a much better site than it was in its first years. New authors helped the site evolve and the site has helped new authors evolve.

fag cuck shit.

A story about his whore by cuckpaul.

Some men don't yet get it,but I do. The desire to see your wife penetrated by another man and then experiencing it the first time is an amazing rush. This story tells of the excitement felt by the man, but his excitement and the act itself is only possible because his wife also wants it. She wanted and enjoyed another man fucking her, with her husband present, and then asked her husband to reclaim her. The fact that he reclaims his wife may put this more in the vixen and stag category than cuckold.