Christmas Past, Christmas Present Ch. 02

Bruce stared for several seconds at his late wife, being all too familiar with him to have been gone so long, before he moved on, around the bed for a change, and climbing in on the other side.

"I really don't know," he whispered, before lying down on his side, facing away from her, and pulling the duvet over himself before closing his eyes. As he felt himself drifting back to sleep, he added as an afterthought, "Oh, and we didn't get this duvet until after Angela was already sick."

***

Whether it was his late wife's question or the benefit of what turned out to be a good night's sleep, Bruce had made up his mind by the time he awoke on Sunday morning.

After the morning service at his church, he did a bit of Christmas shopping for Mei, the other members of his team, and for a couple of children on the Angel Tree at the mall. The day crept by, the seconds ticking by as if minutes, the minutes like hours, and the hours like decades.

He waited until 7 PM, hoping that he wouldn't catch her at dinner while at the same time hoping he wouldn't seem too anxious. In the end, he waited a few more minutes, figuring if he called right on the hour, she might think his action too deliberate.

"Hi, Bruce," she breathed. "It's nice to hear from you."

"It's nice to speak with you, too, Paula," he replied. "Listen...I...I had a really nice time last night—"

"Me, too."

"—and I was wondering if you'd like to get together again sometime soon. Maybe nothing fancy this time, just a nice quiet place where we can talk?"

"My son, Ronnie—oh, it's Ron now, or he gets peeved at me—is coming in a couple of days before Christmas and leaving on Sunday...

"If next weekend's not good—"

"No, I think next Sunday might be perfect. Ron's present to his little sister is a trip to New York with him for a few days so I'm taking them to the airport that morning. I could, maybe, cook dinner that evening if you want to bring a bottle of chardonnay? Say, 7-ish?"

"Perfect," he agreed. I hope I'll see you at work this week before Christmas, but if not, I'll see you then."

On ending the call, Bruce looked at the time: 7:10 PM. His wait would be almost exactly an entire week.

***

Following the call, time seemed to resume its normal flow, but on Monday morning with half his staff taking the full week for Christmas instead of just the two days the company set aside as holidays, it wasn't long before Bruce felt even busier than usual. He was working through lunch on Tuesday when a light tap on his door caused him to look up. Expecting Mei, he was surprised to see Paula standing there with a bag and two drinks in a holder.

"Mei told me you were working through and could probably use sustenance, so I went to the salad shop for a couple of salads. There's a Cobb and a Caesar, and there's chicken on the side for both. I like both types so you get to choose."

He smiled, his heart warmed both by Paula's gesture and by his assistant's interest in his well-being. "Come on in," he said, rising and ushering her to the team table at the other end of his office. "It's nice to see you...and a really nice surprise."

Their lunch went faster than he'd have preferred, but with the Wednesday deadline before the holidays, they talked a little as they shared their meal.

"Thanks for lunch and for coming to spend it with me," he said as they cleaned up the table.

"You're welcome, and I'm glad we could do it."

She looked hesitant, expectant even, leaving him once again feeling a bit awkward, but this time, he was in his environment and he'd had time to think, to dissect, and to decide what he wanted, at least in the short term. Feeling much steadier and self-assured than he had following their first date, he took her hand in his and bent down to lightly kiss the backs of her fingers.

Still holding them, he added, "Merry Christmas, Paula. I look forward to seeing you on Sunday."

Another kiss, this time on the back of her hand, followed just as Bruce's phone rang.

***

It was Christmas morning and Bruce was working the serving line at the local rescue mission when his phone rang again. He smiled when he saw the caller's name and immediately picked up the call as he signaled someone to temporarily take his spot.

"Good morning and Merry Christmas, Paula," he said. "How are you?"

"Merry Christmas, Bruce. I'm doing well, and you?"

"It's a wonderful Christmas morning. What's up?"

"Bruce, I've thought about it long and hard, and I feel bad about not asking earlier, but if you don't have any plans for this evening, we'd love to have you join us for Christmas dinner. We have far more food than we can ever eat and plenty of seats at the table."

"I don't know, Paula. I, ah—

"I know we already have another date lined up, but this one wouldn't have to be, you know, like a date, if that would make it better. This could be just as friends if you prefer, because I wouldn't want you to be all by yourself on Christmas. Of course, if you already have other plans..."

"No! I don't, Paula, and I really appreciate the offer but I don't want to interfere with your celebration with your family. Your son and daughter would probably hate me for butting in."

"Bruce, no! They're the ones who've spent last night and this morning trying to get me to make this call. They want you to come. And...and so do I. Please? If Ebenezer Scrooge can show up unannounced at his nephew's Christmas feast, you can surely show up with an invitation."

Bruce laughed. "Nope, you're not going to use that on me, surely? See, I just finished reading that story again a few nights ago. Scrooge's unnamed nephew had actually invited him to the dinner in the first chapter."

There was a brief moment of silence on the line. "True...but in Stave 1, Scrooge turned down his nephew's invitation but still showed up after all in the end. I just finished the book again last night, too. Ha!"

Bruce laughed again. "Okay. Looks like you're the better Scrooge scholar and got me after all. And okay, I'll come...for dinner to see you, to meet your Ron, and to be introduced to your daughter, but I won't stay long after dinner to interfere with your family time, okay?"

"That sounds perfect."

"What do you want me to bring? Another bottle of chardonnay?"

She laughed. "No wine, Bruce. Just you, okay? Just you. 6 o'clock. Okay?"

"See you then."

***

Bruce had time to make a chocolate chip cheesecake with a caramel drizzle after finishing at the rescue mission before heading to Paula's house. He exercised for a while and did some chores around the house while it cooled before getting ready and heading to Paula's house.

Judy met him at the door again, smiling this time as she wished him Merry Christmas and introduced herself as if a most proper young lady. Her smile grew even larger when she saw the cheesecake.

"Mom's gonna' love you, ah, this," she corrected with a laugh. "Come on in. Mom! Mr. Bruce is here!" she yelled.

Paula, in the kitchen at the back of the house, replied, "Hi, Bruce, come on in."

When he entered, she gave a polite hug in line with her "just as friends" comment of earlier, but on seeing his cheesecake, she grinned similar to her daughter and gave him a little kiss on the cheek after telling him thanks.

When there was nothing he could do to help in the kitchen, Ron and Judy took Bruce to the dining room where they talked as they set the rest of the table. They'd barely finished when Paula called them back to the kitchen to help with the parade of food being moved from the kitchen to the buffet along one wall of the dining room.

When they were seated, Paula invited them to take hands and she said the Christmas blessing before inviting everyone to move to the buffet to serve themselves. Bruce looked admiringly at her as he held her hand for a few seconds longer after Ron and Judy got up from the table. In addition to being so beautiful, he could sense the strength she must have possessed to have raised such great kids following her husband's passing. Feeling lucky to be there with her and holding her hand, he gave it a gentle squeeze and her a smile before releasing it.

"Everything looks so delicious," he told her as they went through the line. "Thanks again for inviting me." With her kids so close and probably listening to every word, he left the rest of what he wanted to say unsaid.

"We're really glad you're here, Bruce," she replied. "Now get all you want. There's plenty."

He'd been a bit worried about being an outsider in the gathering, but Paula and her kids treated him like one of the family, so soon they were sharing stories and laughs as if they were old friends, though he was careful not to reveal too much that might be interpreted the wrong way.

After dinner, they had slices of Paula's Christmas rum cake, Bruce's cheesecake, and cups of regular eggnog before everyone pitched in to clear the table and the buffet. Bruce was sad at the thought, but he knew it was time for him to be going so the Levesques could enjoy some family time together. He was about to say his goodbyes when Ron skidded into the kitchen.

"Hey, sis! We better go if we're going to make it. Grab your coat!"

"Ron? What are you talking about?" asked a surprised Paula.

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Didn't Judy tell you? I told her I'd take her to the 8 PM showing of the new movie she was talking about. Just came out today. We'll be back around 10:15 or so. Mr. Bruce, it was very nice to meet you." He shook Bruce's hand, kissed his mother on the cheek, and was out the door. Judy did the same just seconds later, throwing her coat on as she ran out after her brother.

Paula looked at Bruce and said, "I'm so sorry, Bruce. I suspect my kids have set us up."

Bruce, trying to contain his laughter, nodded. "I suspect so, too, but please, don't be sorry on my account. I think it's really sweet that they'd do this for you."

She smiled. "For us, you mean." Taking his hand, she led him into the living room where they sat on the couch to watch the fire in the fireplace and the twinkling of the lights of the Christmas tree. Leaning against him, she whispered, "I know I said this didn't have to be a date if you didn't want it to be, but we can still make it one if you'd like."

"I've been wanting to tell you all evening that you're so beautiful. You are, and I'd like very much for this to be a date," he whispered in response, gently turning her face toward his. When she smiled, he leaned toward her so their lips could connect.

Bruce felt almost lightheaded as their kiss lingered and her tongue darted into his lips. He gave a little moan only for Paula to echo it a second later.

"Very, very much," he said as she nodded in reply and rested against him.

"Me, too, but I'll admit that I was a little worried that you weren't interested or maybe even didn't like me after our first date," she said. "No kiss, you know."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to give the wrong impression. It's been almost 30 years since my last first date," he told her. "I didn't want to rush things in case you weren't ready or in case I wasn't reading the situation right. A lot of things have changed over the last 30 years, you know, and I really don't want to do anything to mess up."

"Just 24 years for me, Bruce, but I can tell you this: while a lot of things have changed since back then, a lot of others haven't." She looked into his eyes as she softly rubbed the hair of his mustache and beard circling his mouth and chin. "One I can tell you right now is if you start to mess up, I'll tell you before it goes too far. The thing is, if you're anywhere as close to as nice a guy as you seem, I suspect that won't be a problem."

"Paula, I hope not, but let's still not rush things too much, okay? I haven't, ahem, been with anyone since Angela, and I've had some really strange dreams related to that over the past few days."

"Dreams? What do you mean?"

He exhaled, slow and long. "We were talking about strange thoughts last weekend. In reading "A Christmas Carol," I think I picked up on some silly ideas and started to dream things."

"What sort of things?"

Concerned about her response and wondering if he was doing the right thing in telling her, he said, "I've been seeing Angela, my late wife, at odd times, in recent days. She's there with me as if she's still alive. And if that isn't strange enough, she's been encouraging me to date you."

Paula was silent as she stared at him, before she finally nodded. "That's strange, all right, but I think I may have you beat."

"Huh?"

She was hesitant at first, but as she started to tell him, it all tumbled out. "I went to the company party a couple of weeks ago, got drunk, got picked up by my late husband's twin—who was named Bruce and who spoke with a southern accent that's a whole lot stronger than yours. He drove me home, got me through the night, and then made love to me for hours on Sunday."

Bruce's face went slack, shocked by her revelation, as he held up his hand to stop her. "Paula, why'd you tell me that? We weren't dating then and, really, it wasn't any of my business. I...I didn't need to know that. Any of it." He started to draw back.

"Bruce, wait! You don't understand! My late husband was an only child; he didn't have a twin! The young ladies in accounting that manned the check-in table said I never showed up that night, and they still had my nametag and yours, too—and you're the only Bruce in the whole firm, if you didn't already know it. The dance routine I remember was from last year; I must have seen it on the company's internal website, because I watched the new one the other day and it wasn't the same. Finally, there's no one in the company named Kowalski or whatever it was to give me all the drink tickets I used to get so drunk."

Bruce was shaking his head, trying to understand what she was saying, but he caught one thing that helped focus him. "Kowalski? Herb Kowalski? I remember him. He retired a few years after I joined the firm. That was at least 12 or 13 years ago."

Paula nodded. "That's what Mrs. Juarez told me and that I probably saw his name in an old company record that I don't remember. She said the Kowalskis moved to Florida when he retired and that he died three or four years ago. I think I may have just dreamed it all like what you're saying."

"So, despite seeming so real, you're saying that it might not have happened? Any of it?"

She shook her head forcefully. "No, Bruce. I'm saying that none of it could have happened, that it's all impossible. It's like you seeing your late wife. I've seen Jean-Louis like that off and on for years, out of the corner of my eye, because I've felt like I needed his presence, something to give me hope and strength, but I've never gotten a good look until I see him at a party that I didn't even attend."

Bruce sat silently, thinking, his mind churning. "So...we both had an unfulfilled need and...after reading the Christmas Carol book...our subconscious minds latched onto Scrooge's ghosts to help us get through it. You dreamed about Jean-Louis—"

"Pretending to be someone named Bruce to get me to go out with you," she interjected.

"—while I dreamed about Angela encouraging me to go out with you. That sound about right?"

Paula smiled as she nodded. "Yeah. Dickens' previously unknown power of blatantly subliminal suggestion? Do you think we might be able to get adjacent beds in the psych ward?"

Bruce suppressed his urge to laugh. "I'm not sure if they psych wards, but I guess that sounds like as reasonable an explanation as anything else we're likely to come up with to keep us from finding out."

"Tell you what," she added, "let's avoid all that by just forgetting it all and not telling anyone else, okay?"

"Deal!" he agreed as he hugged her close and both, looking at the grin on the other's face, chuckled at the absurdity of it all. He leaned in, kissing her again and her response was electric, exciting him as he felt feelings of passion, so long suppressed, beginning to rise within him.

His increasing excitement came to an abrupt halt when they heard a key in the front lock and the door open. They were still sitting close together but were watching the fire burning and those blinking Christmas lights when Ron and Judy came in a second later.

"Mom! You're not going to believe this but the movie was sold out!" complained Judy. "Everybody in town must have been bored after presents and eating so much and we all got the same idea."

"Yeah, that's why they release blockbusters on Christmas," grumbled Ron. "So big brothers can listen to little sisters bitch about theaters being—"

"Ron!" exclaimed his mother, while Judy stuck her tongue out at him before plopping down on the couch next to Paula, throwing an arm around her but also pushing her even closer against Bruce.

"Judy, Ron, sorry about your movie," said Bruce, "but it's getting late so I better get going. Have a safe trip to New York and a good time, and I hope to see you both again soon."

Shaking hands with Ron and giving a hug to Judy was followed by a walk to the front door with Paula.

"Sorry about that," she said, "but I'm glad you have child-resistant reflexes like me."

He chuckled. "Yeah, we got out of that one, didn't we?"

"Oh, they're both old enough that I'm sure they figured what was going on, but at least we didn't give them ironclad proof. They'd have teased me forever, and probably still will. They're my kids, after all; that's just what they do." She leaned up and kissed his lips before adding, "So, are we still on for Sunday?"

"7-ish, right? With chardonnay."

"Tell you what...if you'd like to get an earlier start, we could make it earlier. I'm...I'm open all afternoon."

Her look of hope, maybe even want, warmed him, and he felt his blood race. "How about 2?"

She smiled, a devilish little look, as she gave a single nod. "I'll see you then."

***

Paula and Bruce talked by phone for well over an hour on Saturday while Paula's kids made another trip to the movieplex. They spent the time getting to know each other better and enjoying each other's company.

"Bruce, I think they're home. Better let you go or I'll be in for another round of teasing like last night's. See you tomorrow, okay?"

"See you then. Have a great day."

Bruce spent the rest of the afternoon thinking of her, unable to get her off of his mind, as he went for a long bike ride, his first in several weeks. Not wanting to drive out to one of the local parks, he followed a generally less-traveled route he sometimes used on just such days.

Pedals turning, he pushed up hills and down others, getting in the groove allowing him to exercise and think at the same time, for, in truth, he had much to think about when it came to Paula.

There was still much he didn't know about her, but he was feeling better about it now. He wanted to continue the process, to move forward and to learn as much more about her as he could. That realization hit him hard, making him feel like he was back in school again, that giddy feeling of liking someone new and wanting more while not being able to explain exactly why, either to her or to himself.

Another hill, the steepest on this route, caused him to downshift and pedal hard, finally breaking a sweat despite it being a cold day. He was huffing as he neared the top, and felt that exhilaration of success run through him as he topped the hill and started back down.

As he swept down the hill and used his speed to move part of the way up another, he tried, without a lot of success to quantify Paula. She was, in his eyes, beautiful, but she wasn't the prettiest woman he'd ever seen. She was smart; her resume had told him that but their discussions had proved how little it covered. It was her attitude, with a combination of self-assurance and humor, that he found to be truly attractive, but he was also greatly impressed by the intestinal fortitude she must have possessed to have gone through so much and not only to have survived but to have thrived; those were a start, he knew, but there was so much more to her and he looked forward to the chance to see and learn it—