Christmas Past, Christmas Present Ch. 01

"Paula, I think I may see what you're saying, but I suspect you've had enough. Using alcohol as a crutch, an excuse, to get you through your problem may not be as effective as you think."

She shook her head. "Maybe not as an excuse, but you know what they say in college? Alcohol in quality, ah, quantity, is equally good at lowering men's expectations about women as it is about lowering women's inhibitions...and their panties."

Bruce frowned at her. "Paula, please, don't be like that. Practically any sober man who isn't already in a relationship would be excited to be with you...and a lot of those who are in one probably would be, too."

She giggled again. "Oh, Bruce, you're sweet to say that. Say, are you in a relation, relationship? You wanna' get lucky tonight?" She looked at him expectantly but even as she did, the relative coherence in her eyes just minutes earlier was gone. The alcohol from her last martini had clearly made it into her system.

"Paula, sweetheart, where are your car keys? We need to get you home."

"Why?"

"We don't want you getting sick here. Now, where are your keys?"

She had a pouty expression as she pointed and said, "In my purse. Do you have my purse?"

"Yeah, sweetheart, I have it right here and I'm going to take you home now." He fished the keys, the parking stub, and her driver's license from her clutch purse before adding, "Let's get you to your car."

Following a quick stop at the cloakroom, he started carrying her. She was a dead weight in his arms as he arrived at the valet station. The valet who took the ticket Bruce handed him and pointed to a bench nearby. "I'll pull up there so you can get her in the car."

The young man was back with the car just minutes later, but Paula was out. Bruce strapped her into the passenger seat, leading her to giggle despite her incoherency. "No, I'm not trying to feel you up," he replied as the buckle finally clicked, only to be rewarded with what sounded like a disappointed whine.

When she wasn't awake enough to intelligibly give him her home address, he checked her driver's license before starting the car. It was a short drive, so he turned to let her know, only to see that she was already out again.

At Paula's home, Bruce carried her inside, and found her bedroom, laying her on the bed before sliding off her heels and shifting her around to get her under the covers, still in her dress. He found a cloth in her bathroom suite, and used it to gently wipe some of the mascara stains from her cheeks.

"Good night, Paula. I hope things get better for you soon," he whispered as he reached to turn off her bedside lamp but he was surprised when she responded.

"Don't go. You called me 'sweetheart' earlier. Stay with me, Jean-Louis. Just for tonight, one more night, I beg you. Please."

Her hand snaked out from under the cover and grasped his, pulling him toward her.

***

Sunlight streamed through the partially open curtain on the bedroom window. Paula rubbed her forehead and temples, trying to ease the throbbing, before she felt the warm body next to her. Jean-Louis? No, Bruce, she remembered, though far too much else about the night was fuzzy. Opening her mouth, she realized that her tongue felt fuzzy, too.

Her movement caused him to stir. "Paula, are you okay? Can I get you anything?"

She turned toward him and saw Jean-Louis' doppelganger lying next to her. .

"Bruce? Thanks for staying and letting me pretend you were Jean-Louis for a little while," she said. "I needed that so much. I'm a little fuzzy about what happened at the end."

"Just the end? Paula, you had a lot to drink."

"God, I know, though I think I did okay until I passed out in the car. I don't remember too much after that. Did we...?"

The way she trailed off made her question apparent, so he answered, "No, Paula. We didn't."

"Good. All evening when we talked, I wasn't sure if you really were a guy named Bruce or Jean-Louis secretly come back from the dead to tell me goodbye like that movie with Patrick Swayze."

He chuckled. "No, not Jean-Louis and not Patrick, I'm afraid. Just Bruce." A thought struck him then. "But, Paula, what if I had been Jean-Louis' ghost? What would you have said to him? To me?"

"If I'd been sober enough to say it, you mean?" She laughed lightly. "Seriously, this is the first time I've been drunk since college. I didn't particularly like the after-effects back then, and, now, twenty-something years later, I find I really don't. I've got to get an aspirin. Please don't go. I'll be right back."

After a quick cleanup, brushing her teeth, and popping a couple of ibuprofens, she returned wearing a short nightgown instead of her dress. She slid into bed next to him and snuggled close, looking into his eyes.

"Almost feeling human again," she said with a weak smile. "You know, you really do look just like Jean-Louis, even when I'm not seeing you through a haze." She traced a finger down his jaw and across his chin, causing him to turn his face a bit as she studied him, before she turned him back to face her.

"Bruce, tell me, why didn't you make love to me last night? I'm pretty sure I asked you to. Was I not good enough?"

"Yeah, you did. Several times, in fact," he added with a laugh, "but you were quite drunk and you really wanted Jean-Louis anyway, not me. As for being good enough? Paula, you're being ridiculous. You can't imagine how hard it was for me to resist, to not do it, but it wouldn't have been right for you or for me, and probably not very good either. You still feel a great attachment to him, almost like unfinished business. So, the question still stands: if it was his ghost here now, what would you tell him?"

Tears clouded Paula's eyes as she looked at him before nodding. "Jean-Louis, you are the love of my life and you know I'll always love you in my heart. I knew there was something there after our first date, but didn't realize what it was until a few dates later, that connection we shared. Remember when we went to the Poconos for that getaway weekend?"

Paula went on for a while, pouring out her heart as if she really was speaking with Jean-Louis. Bruce listened closely but said nothing, as if hoping that her words would help her. It seemed to be working as she talked through her varied feelings. A little later, though, her words and her expression changed.

"Jean-Louis, you've been gone for a long while now. I love you and always will, but I've held onto you too closely, more than I should have, so now, I have to let you go so we can both move on and so our friend, Bruce, can get on with his life, too. Au revoir, my love, until we meet again on the other side." She closed her eyes and kissed Bruce, tenderly, before backing away and reopening her eyes.

She looked at Bruce, her expression content. She gave a little smile and said, "Thank you so much for that. I don't know if Jean-Louis could hear what I said, but I meant every word. Just hearing myself say them out loud did me a world of good."

Bruce smiled. "That's what I was hoping, and that it would allow you to move forward with your life."

Paula's hand slid down and rubbed his crotch through his pants. "It has. And, Bruce, I'm ready. I want to move forward, like you said, and I want this first time, the first step, to be with you. Make love to me."

He looked at her, as if with conflicted emotions as she undid his belt. He was about to speak when she moved up, her face nearing his, with an expectant look. Her lips were hungry when they met his; unlike before, there was no tenderness, only raw need. Any doubts they may have had about the situation vanished in seconds as he kissed her back.

Paula was busy though, for even as they kissed, she lowered his zipper and started pushing down his pants and boxers. She caught his hardening cock in her hand, stroking him a few times before letting go and raising her leg to slide it across his stomach. She shifted atop him, giving his access to her breasts, but he wanted more, pulling her nighty up and over her head, allowing her breasts to slip down from the thin fabric.

"Wow. Glorious," he whispered, taking them in his hands and massaging them gently before slipping his hands down, just circling her nipples with each thumb and forefinger. Leaning up, he flicked the left with his tongue before capturing it, giving a gentle suck to pull her down before releasing and watching it rebound away before it jiggled to a stop. Paula started to shake it for him but Bruce shook his head.

"Equal time," he whispered before switching to her right breast, again flicking her nipple, this time a number of times, before he captured it between his thumb and fingertip, rolling it a bit and then sucking it into his mouth like before. Unlike before, he didn't release this one, sucking gently at first and then, slowly, a bit more strenuously, pulling more of her breast into his mouth. Paula rolled her head back as he did, only to feel him capture the first nipple once more with his fingers and begin to massage it, pinching lightly, causing her to moan.

Feeling his hands and mouth on her, something she'd needed but not felt for so long, led her to quiver and to continue to moan as she ran her hands over his arms and chest, feeling his muscles and the strength that was now holding her.

It was then that Bruce's hands slipped from her breasts, sliding down her sides and hips back onto her buttocks, as he continued to suckle on her nipple and breast. With his fingers cupping her ass, he rubbed, just barely catching the softness of her peach.

"Oooh!" she grunted as he slid his finger over her labia, just into her fold, where she realized how wet she was. She closed her eyes, tipping her head back again, but opened them just as suddenly as Bruce picked her up and settled her pussy back onto his cock. He twisted his hips down, pulling away, before shifting forward and up, slipping himself just inside of her.

"OOOOH!" she moaned again as she did her own movement, drawing him a little further inside of her before he started to slip back out. "Don't!" she exclaimed, trying to capture him, to hold his penis, but she felt him slide from her, before he thrust forward, harder this time, as he used his hands to drive her firmly onto himself.

"Oh, God!" she called out, loud, with all pretense of being quiet now forgotten. Slowly but deliberately, he withdrew, as far as he could, before rocking himself forward, crashing hard against her vulva, fully within her.

On and on they went, leading her to call out again and then again as she felt her orgasm starting to build, steadily at first, then faster and faster until it washed over her, leading her to collapse against his chest. She kissed his shoulder and neck before moving to his earlobe and then back to his mouth, where her tongue slipped between his lips and played with his before she pulled it out, allowing his tongue a turn.

"Oh, that was wonderful," she whispered when their cheeks touched and their mouths were each close to the other's ear. "Did you come?"

"No," he said, causing her to gasp in disappointment, but he continued. "It wasn't time for me. Unless you say otherwise, I don't think we're anywhere close to being done."

She drew back, looking at him. "Are you serious? Then get going, Bruce. Do me again. Hard. And don't stop this time."

"That sounds good to me, but maybe we should shift a little," he whispered. Grasping her suddenly, he pulled her down and tried to roll over, leading them both to giggle as he slipped out of her and allowed her to adjust before moving between her legs in a missionary stance and sliding forward inside her. With her legs drawn up, she hooked them around him as he drove in and slid out of her, over and over again. As he slowly increased his speed and his force, she slid her hands around him, holding him as tightly as she could as her breath shortened once more.

"Don't stop, Bruce, please. Keep going, harder, faster," she said, doing all she could to grip his member inside her. "Ooooh!" she moaned as another orgasm hit her, but this time, Bruce grunted, too, as he shot, sending pulse after pulse into her before it was his turn to sink down onto her.

"Oh my God, that was...amazing. Thank you, Bruce," she whispered, holding him tight, as she tried to keep from shaking. She felt his heart beating, pounding against her, as they lay there, but after a minute or two, he smiled as his breathing slowed. He shifted and lay down next to her, where they could hold each other, taking comfort in their togetherness.

"Bruce, that really was wonderful. It felt perfect, but I apologize for being so out of practice. I hope it was as good—"

His fingers gently touched her lips. "Paula, just hush, okay. It was wonderful for me, too, and you have nothing, absolutely nothing, to apologize for. For now, though, just let me hold you for a little longer."

Smiling, she nodded and rolled against him, putting her head down against his chest, watching the rhythm of his breathing.

***

"I almost forgot how messy this can be," said Paula with a laugh as she returned from the bathroom some time later. She climbed back into bed next to him, propping herself up with her elbow so she could see him better. "And, Bruce, I want you to know, I'm clean and I'm on the pill so you shouldn't have anything to worry about in that regard. I had condoms, too; we really should have talked about it, but at the time..."

He nodded as he slipped his arm under her and pulled her closer. "The heat of the moment doesn't seem like the best time to bring things like that up, but in a way, it's the most important time."

He had a faraway look, as if thinking or remembering for a moment, leading Paula to reflect on what he'd said. She remembered, poignantly, that long-ago time with Jean-Louis when passion overcame common sense and their usual precautions and she ended up with a beautiful memory, a loving husband, a wonderful son, and what was, for the most part, a life she wouldn't have changed for anything.

He gave her a little squeeze, bringing her out of her reverie. "I'm clean, too," he said, "and there's nothing to worry about from me on the pregnancy front. I had that taken care of a long time ago."

She smiled as she ran her hand over his chest and put her head down once more, resting against him for a while. He was resting peacefully, holding her, his arm and presence so comforting and soothing. It was such a refreshing feeling, something she hadn't experienced since Jean-Louis, something she'd missed so much.

"Bruce, tell me a little about yourself. You look so much like Jean-Louis I'm finding it...I don't know...almost hard to keep you separate from his memory. I look at you and see that little scar and think to myself, 'Didn't Jean-Louis have one just like that?' It's weird, but almost everything about you makes me question whether I'm remembering things correctly or making them up in my mind to match the person lying next to me."

He reached up and kissed her forehead where she lay on his chest. "Guess I'm gonna' hafta' start usin' my suthe'n accent a little mo' to hep ya' with tha-at."

His fake Southern caused her to raise her head so she could see his goofy grin. Grinning herself, she poked his arm and laughed, "Bastard!"

Still grinning, he replied playfully, "Bitch!"

His response was shocking and completely unexpected, triggering memories of long ago times with Jean-Louis when loving and letting out anger in creative ways were all that mattered. She set her jaw as she stared at him, her hand sliding back down under the sheet to rub his manhood. She cupped him, gently massaging his testicles and playing her fingers over him. As he started to harden, she circled him and began to rub more vigorously.

"You can go again now, right?" she demanded, desperate for him to say yes.

"If you keep doing that, I'm pretty sure it's a certainty," he replied, his humorous grin turning salacious as he slid a hand around to cup and massage her breast as firmly as she was working him.

"Pretty sure, eh? Then let me increase the odds." Shifting down, she kissed the head of his shaft before flicking her tongue over his frenulum a few times. Circling his glans, she looked up at him before sucking him into her mouth. She continued to play with the head of his cock for a bit before starting the slow slide up and down him. With his penis throbbing, Bruce's soft moans were her reward, making her feel that she could make him come, but gentle pats on her shoulder and then lower back made her pull away and look up at him. "Good?"

"Very," he agreed, "but you're going to have to shift around so I can reach, too. Not right for me to be having all the fun."

"I'd debate that comment with you, but I'm too busy having fun of my own," she said with a chuckle before she complied, straddling his neck. When she lowered herself, he started to work on her clit with his tongue and lips as his fingers began to massage her soft folds and then slip into her opening. Moaning in response, she arched where she could reach him better and then took him back into her mouth to restart her own efforts, concentrating on the head and top half of his shaft while taking him in hand and working the base harder and harder.

A long moan sounded in Bruce's throat before he suddenly clamped his lips on labia, picked her up, and shifted her sideways. She cried out in surprise, losing her position on him, as he moved her and then himself, getting her on her hands and knees as he moved behind. He gave her buttocks a little smack that almost stung as she positioned herself to allow his entry, but he surprised her again as his tongue stabbed in her vagina as he started rubbing her clitoris from below with two fingers in short, rapid strokes.

"No, don't stop!" she cried out, when he left her, only to feel his tongue replaced by his penis, shallow at first and then deeper as he worked against her. He grabbed her swaying breasts as he pumped into her, trying to match their motions before finally giving up and pressing them firmly against her rib cage, each of her nipples caught between his index and middle fingers, which he used to squeeze them. She looked over her shoulder at him, seeing his grimace as he continued to pound her pussy and against her buttocks, until her arms collapsed and her head and shoulders fell to the bed with her butt still in the air. She continued pushing back against his thrusts while starting to rub herself as vigorously as she could. She cried out moments later as she came again.

Bruce continued pounding her a few more times before, tight against her, he stopped and leaned forward as he groaned and shot into her over and over.

"Oh, Bruce, that felt so good, but I'm a bit out of shape and a lot out of practice," she gasped as she tried to calm her breathing.

His body trembled as he hugged her back and held both arms around her middle. As he too tried to catch his breath, he said, "Sweetheart, you're in perfect shape and feel absolutely divine to me." He patted gently, lovingly before he let go and fell to the bed beside her, pulling her over next to him. There they lay in bed together, taking joy in the moment and comfort in holding each other.

***

Resting against him, Paula opened her eyes only to realize that she'd dozed off for a while.

"Awake again, Sweetheart?" he asked, kissing her head several times as he rubbed her arm and the side of her breast.

She raised up and turned toward him so they could look at each other. He looked into her eyes and smiled for a moment, but when his eyes shifted from hers to her naked breasts, he grinned. With a playful, hurt expression, she gave him a little punch before she pulled the sheet, trying to cover herself. When it didn't work, he grinned even more broadly before shifting to free it and pulling it for her so she would restore some semblance of modesty, however false.