Christmas Past, Christmas Present Ch. 01

"Bruce, this was so incredible, so amazing, but—"

"There it is: the 'but' that changes everything."

She sighed and looked into his eyes, a look of sadness touching her face. "This was great, more than I ever expected, but I really do need to talk to you."

"Isn't that what we were doing a little while ago?"

"Yes, but this is the hard part, particularly after the other, ah, parts we did a while ago."

He looked at her, giving a little nod and a pat on her hand to encourage her. "Go ahead, Sweetheart. I'm listening."

"Thank you, Bruce. I'm way too comfortable for the short amount of time we've known each other. I don't know what you were looking for in this, whether it was just to help me when I was too pitiful to help myself, a one-night stand, or a chance at a long-term relationship. I feel like I know, but I don't know you well enough to be sure. I also suspect you can tell that I like you a lot for the short time we've known each other and that I'm really comfortable with you, but...well, that's the problem. Bruce, I don't know anything about you, even your last name."

"Is that important?"

"In a way, yes, but in another, no. See, the 'me' you saw last night and today isn't the unusual me. I needed a sexual encounter to help me get over the past, to prove to myself that I'm not still tied to Jean-Louis in the past, but I'm not usually like that. I'm a long-term relationship type of woman, with a boyfriend or a husband, not the clubby, love-em and leave-em type."

"I can see that," he agreed, "but I think that's something that you can fix in time, if you want to do it. I'm sensing something else, though, something deeper?"

She bit her lip, looking down, embarrassed to be admitting it to him, before nodding. "Bruce, you're right, there's something else, something even more important. I can't have a long-term relationship with you. You seem like a really nice guy but, as I'm looking at you, I realize you're just too much like Jean-Louis. You look like him, you act like him, and although it probably isn't true, I think you even smell like him. No, silly! In a good way!"

He put his arm down, putting an end to his exaggerated sniffing of his pit. "Just teasing. Go on."

"You've called me Sweetheart, which is so sweet and makes me feel that you care about me, but when you do it, it's as if Jean-Louis is saying it once again, even with your southern accent. If we were to see each other on an ongoing basis, we might both eventually question whether it was because we were really meant for each other or because I got together with you because of him. My kids would definitely wonder, and so would any old friends we might eventually see. Bruce, I really appreciate everything you've done with me in helping get past him, but if I were to try to have any type of long-term relationship with you, that ghost of Jean-Louis might never disappear completely. Do you understand?"

Bruce looked into her eyes before giving a pained smile and slowly nodding. "Paula, I completely understand and agree. Thank you for letting me help however much I did. I wish you well always and I'll never forget you."

He kissed Paula's cheek lightly, and then got up and dressed, leaving just minutes later. Feeling very tired, she barely heard the door close before she went back to sleep.

***

It was mid-afternoon Sunday when Paula awoke, content and well-rested. So many apprehensions held for so long had finally been scattered to the winds and she wondered if she felt at least a little like Ebenezer Scrooge had on that glorious Christmas morning.

Her bed was a mess, her dress a jumble on the floor, and her shoes haphazardly tossed. As she put the shoes away, she was surprised to note that their fresh polish had made it through the whole wild evening without being scuffed.

After a bite, she returned to her bedroom for a spell to luxuriate in her newfound freedom, pulling her rabbit vibrator from its hiding place in the closet after carefully locking the door. Paula positioned the pillows, propped herself up with great care, and closed her eyes as her hand slid down over her fresh panties. She was quite sensitive to her touch, but, surprisingly, not sore, which she attributed to a combination of Bruce's skill and her great need. Minutes later, the gusset of her panties was damp so she shed them and opened the bedside drawer to retrieve her bottle of lubricant.

Legs spread wide, knees up, and her feet pulled as far toward her as she could get them, she used a few drops of the lube to lightly massage her outer lips and clitoris before slipping her center finger just into her crevice, making a couple of passes, before focusing on the entrance to her vagina. When ready, she reached for the rabbit, added a few drops to the bulbous head, slid it a long a few times as before, and then angled it inside.

In and out she went, a bit more with each effort, until it was fully seated against her, the little rabbit ears ready to do their work against her clit. Knowing it would be too much, she withdrew it a bit before turning pressing the button to start the little wonders on low.

Slowly bringing it back in, she could feel the vibrations through the rod even before the ears touched her, but as it neared, the delicious tingle started, oh-so-lightly at first, before making contact and beginning to excite her. Out to lighten and back in to build, she slowly increased her pleasure, taking her time before she was ready for the full ride.

As she pulled it up and into herself, the little flaps vibrating against her, she pushed the button again to start the rod. The vibrations were instantaneous with the shaft starting it steady, circling motion, engaging every part of the inside of her pussy. She moaned, long and much louder than she'd intended, as the intensity built. The constant buzzing and the repetitive sound of the oscillating head were soothing as she closed her eyes and felt her orgasm begin, washing over her like those of earlier that morning.

Relaxed and happy, Paula showered, dressed, and put her toy away, finding a new, much more accessible spot. Seeing the bottle of lube sitting on the nightstand, she grabbed some tissue and wiped the bottle before putting it away. As she did, she noticed her book was missing from the drawer. She looked around and found it under the edge of the bed.

"Bruce must have pulled it out when he got the lube," she said to herself as she put it back in the drawer before straightening her room.

She spent the rest of the day lounging around the house, as happy and refreshed as she'd felt in years.

"Mom, what's come over you?" questioned Judy when she arrived home late that afternoon. "You look so happy! It's weird!"

"It's a great day, Sweetie, and I'm glad you're home to share it with me," said Paula as she gave her daughter a hug.

"I'm calling Ronnie and the FBI," deadpanned Judy, when Paula let her go. "Aliens have taken over our mom." She burst out laughing at Paula's expression and gave her mother another hug before they snuggled together on the couch. They spent the evening together watching rom-coms and sharing pizza and a tub of popcorn.

***

Paula went to the office early on Monday morning. Seeing the light already on and the door open, she tapped on the door frame before saying, "Good morning, Mrs. Juarez."

"Paula! Good morning! How are you feeling this morning?"

Paula's eyes grew wide; had Mrs. Juarez seen her inebriated state on Saturday night? Hoping to avoid further questions, she replied, "Much better, thank you."

"Good, we missed you! Your dinner seat was at our table next to Bruce Garner, but he never showed up either.

"Bruce Garner?"

"Yes, I've been planning to introduce you to Bruce. He's the senior veep in charge of new product development—you know, better mousetraps and such. I think you might be able to help his department with developing the initial write-ups that they use for some of their new toys. Will you be here all day?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. I'll check with Mei, Bruce's PA, and see if we can get ten or fifteen minutes with him sometime today."

Paula's knees felt weak but she made it to her desk and almost collapsed in her chair. After what happened on Saturday night....

But wait! Perhaps it was a different Bruce. She couldn't remember but she didn't think his name tag had his last name on it. Turning on her monitor and waking her machine, she brought up the company phone list and did a search for Bruce, only to be disappointed about a millisecond later when she found that Bruce Garner was the only Bruce with the firm.

She was worried and trying to control her breathing when Kristy stopped by her cubicle.

"Paula, we missed you!" With a whisper, she added, "And you missed it! I told you the marketing girls would probably put on a show and was I right! Oh, my God! This one was even more outrageous than the one I told you about from last year!"

Paula was relieved that Kristy hadn't seen her but before she could do anything other than say hello, her phone was ringing and she had to excuse herself. "Talk to you later, Kristy." Picking up the phone, she was all business. "Hello, this is Paula Levesque, may I help you?"

"Hi, Paula. This is Mei Wong in Product Development. Just wanted to let you know that I'm setting up a 1:30 meeting that Marg Juarez requested for you and her with Mr. Garner. If that works for you, I'll finalize and it will pop into your schedule in a moment."

"Yes, ma'am, that works...and, yes, I see it now," said Paula, quickly scanning the details. "Thanks, I'll be there and look forward to meeting you."

She put down the receiver, suddenly very nervous. Not only had she slept with one of the senior vice presidents and then told him she couldn't see him again, she now had to meet him professionally with her boss present. Perhaps her plan to move on past Jean-Louis hadn't worked quite as well as she thought. Perhaps Jean-Louis was in heaven laughing his ass off at her for betraying him. Perhaps....

No, she decided. Like she'd recognized with Bruce's help, despite their sad ending, Jean-Louis really loved her and would only want what was best for her.

The morning was difficult, with her concentration being shot, but she did her best to accomplish her tasks. It was too cold to eat outside at lunchtime, so she ate at her desk, splitting her time between trying to put it out of her mind and trying to figure out what to say to him when she couldn't.

At 1:25, Marg Juarez stopped by her cubicle and they walked to Mr. Garner's office. Mei Wong met them and then knocked on the door before ushering them in. Mrs. Juarez walked over and shook Mr. Garner's hand.

"Bruce, let me introduce you to Paula Levesque. She's new to our department, but she has considerable experience that you'll find relevant to your work, as you've probably seen in the resume and samples I forwarded. Paula, this is Mr. Garner."

She moved to the side so Paula could step up to shake hands, but Paula could barely force herself forward. When she did, she stopped, her eyes growing wide.

Bruce Garner smiled at her. "Nice to meet you, Paula. Did you have a touch of the stomach flu, too? I heard it's going around. That's what took me out on Saturday and why I didn't make the party. First company party I've missed in the fifteen years I've been here."

Paula shook her head in complete denial as she looked at him. This wasn't the Bruce she'd met, not the same man to whom she'd poured out her heart, not the partner with whom she'd been so sexually intimate. This man looked nothing like Jean-Louis; he was five or maybe ten years older, a little shorter, and maybe a few pounds heavier but still in good shape. His black hair was graying, and he wore a full van Dyke like a circle beard.

Despite this and all her fears, there was warmth to his smile that made her feel welcome and unafraid. He asked them to be seated and started asking her pertinent work-related questions that made her feel further at ease.

Their discussion (which Paula now recognized was essentially an interview) went on for about ten minutes before Bruce Garner looked at his watch. "Marg, thanks, but I think we need to wrap this up."

Turning to face Paula, he continued, "Paula, it's very nice to meet you, and I appreciate the opportunity to work with you, but we have a really good team that's worked together for several years and I don't see the benefit in making a change like this at this time. Of course, I'll keep you in mind if that changes or if we need to add someone. You are extremely well qualified and would fit in really well if circumstances were right."

He rose and shook Marg's hand and whispered a few words to her before turning to shake Paula's.

Paula, though, still reeling from the revelation and hurt at the dismissal, turned and walked out of the room just as he was turning to her. She was almost halfway back to her desk when Marg Juarez caught up with her.

"Paula, wait up."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Juarez. I shouldn't have walked out like that, but I was surprised. I was mixed up who he was to start with—I really thought it was someone else—and then to find out he didn't even want me on his team. Well...."

Mrs. Juarez shook her head. "Paula, stop. It wasn't about you. I was the one who pushed him to have you join his team, over his objections. I think you'd do a great job and could be a help to him, but his department has one of the highest success rates in the company, so I'm not going to argue if he doesn't want to make changes right now. You haven't been with us long, but you keep doing what you're doing, and you'll go far with us, maybe even with Bruce's group someday. Whatever you do, keep your chin up and don't let this bother you, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Her mind swirling, trying to figure out who had impersonated Bruce Garner at the party and who she'd slept with, she accomplished little else that afternoon. While having an over-the-hump hump to get over Jean-Louis had been her plan, doing it with a jack-ass pretending to be someone else hadn't been part of it. She fumed and fidgeted for a good while before finally convincing herself she'd essentially accomplished her goal despite the obstacles and the imposter. Work went better then, but 5 PM arrived far too soon. She reached her daughter's voicemail when she called.

"Hey, Judy, it's Mom. I'm running behind on a project so I'll be home a little late. I'll see you around 6:30 or 7 and fix us something to eat then. Love you, Sweetie. Bye."

Paula worked until 6, but on seeing that she couldn't get her project done in time, she gathered everything up to take with her. After arriving home and fixing a quick dinner, she spent some time with Judy before going into her home office and logging in to her computer. She had to make up for her lost productivity that afternoon or she'd be paying for it the next day. For an hour, she did what she could to catch up, but still felt sick at her stomach about it all. She decided to be tested for the nasties, just in case, and, while she didn't think the timing was right for trouble, she was thankful that she'd been back on the pill—just in case, she'd told herself—for the past couple of years since deciding to move on.

She was back at work early the next morning, trying to finish catching up before others arrived. She'd also realized that having a more frequent presence there in the office would bring her more opportunities over time than if she continued to spend most of her working hours in her home office. She was busy editing a paragraph in the new user's manual when a light tap on the side of her cubicle caused her to start and turn.

"Mr. Garner!" she squeaked in surprise on seeing him. He was holding a black binder in front of him with his arms crossed on it, making it look like a most prized possession...or maybe a shield.

"Hi, Paula, sorry to bother you so early, but I wanted to apologize about yesterday afternoon and to explain something."

"There's no need, Mr. Garner. Mrs. Juarez already told me."

"Oh, I doubt that."

She frowned at him. How could he not believe her?

"Sorry! I'm sure she told you, but I doubt that she told you the whole story. Reason is, she didn't know it."

"I'm sorry, what do you mean, sir?"

"Please, can we go off the clock and just be Paula and Bruce for a few minutes?"

"Okay," she said hesitantly, "Bruce."

He smiled. "Paula, you're new to the firm and still have a lot to learn about our ways, both the good and the totally inane. This is a good company—a very good one, I believe—and we do a lot right, but we have some really stupid stuff on the books, too. Because of that, being dumped into my group right now would make that last part more difficult for you; Jack Riley knows that I'm something of a maverick when it comes to the paperwork and the stupidity, but he also knows that I know what's important and what's not, and that I won't cut corners where it isn't warranted. My department's numbers prove it, and Jack, as much as he'd like to, can't come down on me too hard because of it."

"Yes, sir."

"We're off the clock, remember?" he said with a questioning smirk. When she nodded, he smiled and continued. "Paula, all that's not to say I don't recognize the fact that you have a lot to offer. You do, and you'll make good on that before long, but now's not the time to jump out of the frying pan and into our little corporate fire. I don't want you to get burned."

"I think that's what Mrs. Juarez was telling me."

"Yes, she understood that part. The second part, though, has to do with me and the Human Resources manual. I've been, well, on my own for a long time, and I've been very comfortable with that. You can basically say I'm set in my ways and I'm not looking to change. But then I see someone that attracts my attention, someone I don't even know but who makes me question whether I'm missing something, something important. It makes me wonder if I need to take a chance on meeting her, getting to know her, and seeing if there might be something there, something worth pursuing."

He stepped forward and placed the binder he was holding on her desk and flipped it open to a tabbed page. "This subparagraph right here's the important one."

She read the words before turning to face him. "I'm sorry, Bruce; I understand what it says but I'm not sure I understand why you're pointing it out to me."

In comparison to earlier, he now looked very concerned, nervous even, and he took a deep breath and released it before he spoke. "Paula, as long as I'm not your supervisor and as long as I have a legitimate reason not to be, the company has no reason to interfere or threaten to discipline either of us if I were to, say, ask you out. Of course, if you were to say no, I'd have to take it at face value and couldn't pressure you to change your mind beyond giving you a pouty, puppy-dog expression and maybe saying 'Pretty please?'"

She looked at him questioningly. "Bruce, are you asking me to go out with you?"

"Yes. Yes, I am. Paula, will you go out with me? Pretty please?"

Her expression turned to a warm smile on seeing a nice man with no similarity to Jean-Louis or to the other Bruce—Jean-Louis' doppelganger from the party or dream, whichever he was—interested in her. While there were no guarantees that it would go beyond a date, the future, so dark for so long, suddenly looked a bit brighter. With a nod, she said, "Yes, Bruce, I think I'd like that."

The End of Chapter 1

***

Author's Note...

Thanks so much for reading! If you enjoyed the story, please let me know with your comments, favorites, and votes, and feel free to check out my other stories. Follows are greatly welcomed, too.

A Story Note...

This story is a sort of tangent-takeoff to Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. There are a number of little references to Dickens' story including the title (to the Ghosts of Christmas Past and Christmas Present), the seven years (the time since Jean-Louis' and Jacob Marley's passings, each just before Christmas), the "dickens of a time," Paula's book with staves instead of chapters (which was A Christmas Carol), turning her life around with the help of Bruce/the Christmas ghosts, Paula feeling like Scrooge when she realized it wasn't too late, and the big question of, like Scrooge, whether Paula really experienced it all or fell asleep with the book in her hand just before she planned to leave for the party and dreamed that entire sequence (which might be why her shoes weren't scuffed and her book was on the floor rather than in the drawer where she thought she'd placed it). More will be revealed in Chapter 2.