Christmas Shopping

I shouted up the stairs at my husband Toby,

"Tobe, I'm meeting Judy in town to do some Christmas shopping, can you drop me at John Lewis?"

I knew he was planning on going into the Greenways shopping centre to pick up his brother's gift from the wine merchant, they both only ever give each other booze. The joke is they try to find something more unpleasant than the previous effort. Where it falls down as far as I can see is that they inevitably end up drinking some or all of it together.

This year Toby was buying Ralph a two-litre bottle of Algerian Sparkling wine, which would probably be shared by them on Boxing Day, Ralph's wife, Rachel, and I would watch indulgently as they drank it and whichever vile concoction was coming the other way. We would not under any circumstances join them.

A moment later my phone chimed as an affirmative answer popped into my inbox, I texted back with a thumbs up emoji and 'JL coffee shop 11.00?' receiving a reciprocal thumbs up in return.

By half past eleven I was finishing my decaf latte and had caught up on the latest excitement in Judy's life, sadly it was much the same.

as my own. The most exciting thing that happened to us these days was the mortgage rate dropping half a percentage point.

I was feeling a bit introspective and sighed heavily before complaining mildly to Judy.

"It's not that I regret being so conventional, I like my life, Toby is doing well, we have a lovely house, my work's engaging but not stressful. I just wish I had a few wild memories to look back on."

Judy laughed, "This is all since that murder mystery evening when we all spilled our dark secrets isn't it? Come on. Retail therapy. There's a pair of Bibi Lou ankle boots with your name on them."

I followed her out of the coffee shop and spent a happy hour or so trying on boots and shoes in 'Chantal's,' the high-end clothes and footwear boutique and had made the reluctant choice to only buy one pair of the Bibi Lou boots, together with the matching top and skirt. Fortunately, Judy bought the other pair that tempted me and we swap clothes on a regular basis,

To give myself a lift I decided to wear my new outfit for the rest of the trip, once I'd paid I borrowed the shop's scissors to remove the tags and changed in their cubicle.

Judy had bought the same outfit as me and also decided to wear it for the afternoon, her boobs are a bit bigger than mine but at five three she's an inch shorter and if I was being truly catty I'd say her bum's a bit bigger than mine so I thought I looked better. We both had similar coloured blonde highlighted hair so had a bit of a 'Twins' vibe going on.

Once we left 'Chantal's' Judy checked the time and announced it to be Wine o'clock, before dragging me reluctantly, ok, enthusiastically, into the Cork and Bean wine bar where we killed a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc over an hour.

The wine was on an empty stomach so we were both a bit giggly, I checked the time again, it was well past Wine o'clock and getting close to 'I want to be collected' time, so I fired a WhatsApp message off to Toby to say 'Late lunch at the Cork and Bean? See you there in 40?' I may have put some gushy emojis in there, blame the Sauvignon Blanc. He came back with a simple thumbs up emoji and 'K'

I poured the dregs into our glasses and returned to my earlier subject, the wine adding to my angst. "Y'know Jude, I just wish I had a little bit more wildness in my life, 'n' I don' reely care if it's now or in the past. I just want something crazy to remember when I'm an old lady."

Judy poked my upper arm, "Older lady, you mean."

She's six months younger than me, the cow.

I responded channelling all my inner Oscar Wilde, "Piss off big arse." Which set us off laughing like schoolgirls.

A moments clarity followed the hysterics, Judy looked me in the eye and told me there was nothing stopping me being a bit wild and crazy, I just had to bite the bullet.

Judy decided as we had forty minutes to kill we should check out 'Secret Rendezvous' so our husbands could get something nice in Christmas stockings. And maybe I'd get some inspiration. I'll remind you again bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, empty stomach.

On the way there we went past 'Playtimes,' a costume and novelties shop, I dragged Judy in and found a pair of bright red long wigs, the vermillion tresses just added to the twins vibe and set us off into even more giggles. We continued our expedition with them on.

I'll be honest, I always feel slightly intimidated going into 'Secret Rendezvous', I mean the girls that work there are all lovely but they are also mainly one step down from super models and I feel fat and lumpy by comparison, also there's a selection of battery-operated equipment, and to be fair, products that don't need batteries but are used in the same environment. It was just being presented with such an eye watering display normally sent me running out in embarrassment.

Today however, the Sauvignon Blanc continued to do it's sterling work and we mad a bee line for the sports equipment section as we gigglingly referred to the rows of dildoes, vibrators and lubes.

I was holding a ten-inch realistic looking silicon rubber cock and wondering how on earth anyone would fit something that size inside them when I got a jolt of desire through my body the like of which I hadn't experienced in years.

Across the shop, looking out of his comfort zone was a tall male figure, alone and clearly with a similar idea about Christmas Stockings that Judy had come up with.

It was a combination of the display of comfortable masculinity, buying underwear for his partner, my assumption that it meant he knew his partners sizes, and still found his partner attractive. He looked a couple of years older than me so I was assuming his partner was of a similar age and that he wasn't buying them for some young girlfriend.

That and he was extremely attractive. Tall, slightly greying hair, athletic build.

I took a deep breath in and bent down behind the realistic display of rampant cocks. To be brutally frank, being surrounded by shiny erections just added to the wine infused lust I was feeling.

He'd moved on a couple of aisles, so I took the opportunity to check the underwear he's been perusing, noting with approval that it was, well I'm not going to admit to the size, but I could wear it. Definitely for his other half then, not some young thing.

I could feel a fire burning in my knickers, I was unbelievably horny. A tiny analytical part of my brain told me it was the aftermath of our murder mystery dinner party where several of our friends had confessed to sordid, well sexy rather than sordid, escapades in the past and I'd started feeling a pang of regret and jealousy. Analytical brain added that being surrounded by sex toys and full of Sauvignon Blanc probably had some bearing on matters as well.

Animal brain gave analytical brain a head-butt and told it to sit down and shut up. Animal brain was well and truly in charge. I stood up and glanced around. Judy was facing away from me and there was no one else in ten feet.

Awkwardly I reached into my new skirt and worked my underwear down, feeling it drop to my ankles. I stooped quickly and in a mild panic at what I'd done shoved them up my sleeve like an old lady's hanky. I gave myself a mental pat on the back for wearing a small, delicate, pair, not big granny pants. Because of course I don't own any big granny pants. No siree.

I took another deep breath in, both literal and metaphorical this time, walked past Judy and dropped my bags with her.

"Keep an eye on these for me and keep watch outside the changing booth."

She caught my eye and gasped, my plan was apparently transparent.

The changing rooms in 'Secret Rendezvous' are fairly luxurious by comparison to 'Next' for example. Red velvet seating, proper coat hangers, a lockable full-length door, and a floor to ceiling mirror on one wall. They are big enough and seemingly designed for two.

I walked up behind the tall, athletic, good-looking man and pushed my knickers into his hand.

I told myself with the bright red wig I was virtually unrecognisable.

"Don't say a thing. Follow me." I whispered as I grabbed the front of his trousers and led the way to the back of the shop and the change booths.

The middle one was open; I rushed in and locked the door as he came in behind me.

No words were spoken or needed. I knelt in front of him, scrabbling at this waistband, I opened his trousers and unzipped him, pulling down to expose his still flaccid cock.

"Soon change that" I thought to myself and pounced, taking him deep into my mouth and sucking hard, rolling my tongue around the shaft and tip, relishing the rapid growth.

Oh, yeah, he was getting big, hard, and solid. I was going to enjoy this.

I closed my eyes and set to with a steady, sensual rhythm. In, deep, almost to the point of gagging, out, holding him in just my lips, taking him out and lashing my tongue across the head.

I pushed him flat against his stomach and licked from his balls to the tip, pausing to work the tight skin around the crown and the ridges underneath before driving him deep towards my tonsils again.

I gave a low rumble of delight, hoping the vibration would have a positive effect on his enjoyment.

A gasp of excitement from above me suggested it did.

I changed my approach, from slow languid strokes I went to harsh, rapid movements, grasping tight with both fists, setting a twisting motion around the shaft, and concentrating on the top two inches with my mouth.

My jaw started to ache with the rapid movements so I changed again, I settled back on my heels and released my grip with both hands and my mouth, I let him sit on my tongue and gently moved my head around, letting my body motion move him against me.

I had a moment's alarm as my wig felt as if it was slipping, I steadied it with both hands and laughed to myself. I took a look sideways into the full-length mirror. God, I looked wanton, sexy, and hot. That cock rammed into my mouth was hard and pink, the ridges and veins stood out. I'd obviously got him wound up tighter than a drum. It was time to move.

I stood up and faced away. Put my left hand on the back of the chair and lifted my skirt up around my waist with my right, exposing my dripping pussy and my still firm bum. Thank you aquarobics and yoga.

I watched in the mirror as he shuffled forwards, his trousers still bunched above his shoes at his ankles. He reached forward, his hand stretched under me. Strong fingers caressed my pussy along its length, parting my lips and dipping into the warm folds before finding my swollen and sensitive clit.

A slow rubbing started, building the heat inside me. My knees started to weaken. A finger slipped inside, two fingers. I gasped at the roughness, aroused, nonetheless. I pushed back on his fingers, squeezing internally, trying to grip them tight.

His fingers came out and started spreading y juices across the front of my pussy. Another mental pat on the back for being recently groomed, making it feel smooth and sexy.

Finally, a heat at my entrance. In the mirror I saw his shaft sliding forward. Not fast enough for me, I pushed back and he was in. I gave a groan as he filled and stretched me then pulled forward and pushed back again, making a sapping sound as I made contact with his groin.

He caught on quick this lad and started driving in, the slapping sound became a staccato beat, I pulled back on the chair to stop it setting up a complimentary beat against the wall. It may be quite obvious what we were doing but I didn't want to telegraph it to the world.

I felt his hands leave my waist and move forward, I pulled sharply on my top, heaving it up and over my tits, dragging my bra uncomfortably with it. I didn't care, those strong hands were squeezing on my breasts, massaging, mashing, twisting.

I was close, I reached back and gave my clit a hard rub, then gripped it between my thumb and forefinger and squeezed, twisting, and rubbing as he drove in and out, hard and fast.

I released my clit to bite my hand as I came, I wanted to scream the place down but analytical brain told me that wasn't a good idea.

As I descended from my trumpet filled clouds I realised the pounding into my pussy was increasing in intensity and little "nnngghh" noises were coming form behind me.

I didn't want jizz running down my legs or all over my tits so there was only one thing for it.

I pushed away and spun round, making sure my red wig stayed in place. I turned and knelt in front of him and telling myself to get on with it I shoved him back into my open mouth.

A slight sourness greeted me, with a slimy coating all the way to the root that I realised was me. Not so bad, I'd eat my pussy if I was a guy. I thought to myself.

I went straight to high speed, long strokes. Taking him deep in and almost out with each movement. I glanced across again, the woman in the reflection looked like I don't know what, her tits hanging free under a bunched-up cream coloured silky top, a fat cock gliding across her lips, a lascivious smile on her face, as far as she could smile with that lump of meat in her chops.

The tiny "nnnggghh" sounds became a louder gasp and suddenly he shuddered and sent a jet of sticky acrid cum into my mouth, again and again. He shook with each spurt. Al I could do was wait for him to stop and try to swallow it, which is not as easy as the porn films make it seem. It sticks to the inside of your mouth.

I waited for him to recover slightly, which I judged to be when his trousers were pulled up and my top was back over my tits, before opening the door and saying, "Now piss off, I've got to meet my husband in the Cork and Bean."

Aaaand he was gone. I staggered out unsteadily to see Judy looking at me with a smirk on her face.

"You look well and truly shagged. Look at you with your crazy ways." Then she laughed and steered me to the centre toilets where I did as much as I could with lippy and eyeliner. I needed a bath or at the very least a shower to make me look presentable again and get rid of the smell of sex.

I took the wig off and stashed it in my shopping bags, it might be my alter-ego, Rosie Redhair, the sex goddess. She might have to come out again. Soon.

Back at the Cork and Bean I ordered a large glass of lime and soda that went in a moment, hopefully clearing the last of the cum from my mouth. Just thinking that set my pussy twinging again, Toby was in for a good time that night that's for sure.

He was about ten minutes late, which was as well because it gave me time to calm down and not look quite so freshly fucked. (I have no idea where these words were springing into my thoughts from either, it's not my usual vocabulary.)

He sat down and ordered a beer; a selection of shopping bags explained his delay. One of them being from Secret Rendezvous gave me a bit of a smile.

I kissed him with a limey, sex juicy mouth and asked what had held him up.

"Oh, nothing much. Some strange red-haired woman dragged me into the changing rooms at Secret Rendezvous and had her wicked way with me."

He gave a comedy double take when both Judy and I lifted bright red wigs from our bags which turned into laughter when he dropped a small and delicate pair of knockers on the table and asked which of the two of us wanted to try them on.