All Comments on 'Churned in Bed'

i thing you forgot shiny somewhere the storie have no sens

Wat?

So if you are going to randomly go into Vore you should warn people. Just sayin ya sick fuck.

'She looked up and saw him looking down at her hand and then looks up again, a smile creeping up on both.'

Whatever that is, it's not good English.

Stick to either past or present tense but don't combine them both.

Poor writing, too difficult to read.

I like that you've picked up where a previous story left off, though I hope the original author approves. That said, it definitely could use some editing. The plot isn't bad, and your writing is mostly up to par, but there are certainly some passages where things get confused. All in all, nicely done.

also glad to see this get a continuation and with less vore than the first, which is a plus. I really enjoyed the docking descriptions. Hope you continue.

Never, ever write another story.

This makes quantum mechanics look easy to follow.