All Comments on 'Cider Apple Pt. 02'

Wow, what a build-up. It is a pity that in real life family members split up and row their own boats.

Another plus is that anal have not surfaced yet.....

So many good stories have been scuttled by that act alone.

Good stuff, but I feel like I missed something between this chapter and the first. You start with telling us that Carmen is his cousin, then the story goes on to say that they are friends who just met. You then say stuff like, 'as I previously described', when it is the first time. Story is down great, just needs some fine tuning on the storytelling.

The start of this chapter makes no sense. None of the build up or conversations/actions referenced occurred in the first chapter. Was there an error? Was there supposed to be another chapter in between 1 and 2? Was some of chapter 1 missing? Very confusing.

This nearly the same story as the one "Sister Starts My Harem" by StuartLaJoie.

You forget to switch some name's from the original story, for example Sar or Sha!

"That's silly. Of course, we're OK. We're wonderful," Sofie reassures her. "I love you, Sar, and I wanted this as much as you, maybe more. Why didn't we do this a long time ago?"

I can hear the relief in Liz's voice when she answers, "Oh, thank God. I love you too, Sha. I've always wanted this to happen, but I think we waited because it never felt this right before now. Thank you, Mark."

This is nearly the same story as "Sister Starts My Harem" by StuartLaJoie.

You forget to switsh names from the original story, for example: Sar or Sha

Sofie reassures her. "I love you, Sar, and I wanted this as much as you, maybe more. Why didn't we do this a long time ago?"

I can hear the relief in Liz's voice when she answers, "Oh, thank God. I love you too, Sha. I've always wanted this to happen, but I think we waited because it never felt this right before now. Thank you, Mark."