All Comments on 'Cinderfella Pt. 03'

Wow an interesting story ruined with a terrible final page and a half. The ending was terrible even the lack luster epilogue that was all of what three sentences. I was enjoying it to only for them to lamely stay together just so it was out of spite. Could have done without laurens incest. Really didnt add to the story and her brother was a waste of typing. A bad means to an end unfortunately.

wow that was a crap ending. ive liked most of your other stuff and the first two chapters were really good but this ending wasnt good at all. it seemed that you got to the bottom of a page and then said i think im done now. too bad.

It seems as if there was a great set-up for more story. The confrontation was good, but not the "getting caught by the parents and Peter Ford" bit. There was complete acceptance of the whole scene and it added nothing to the story.

Then it ended, as if you lit a match and set your story on fire just to be done with it.

I know you are a good writer because of the previous chapters. Would you please rewrite the ending? Or perhaps even expand it to include their departure to college?

Great story horrible ending had so much more potential

The story had so much potential. Sally and Peter at the door was a stretch but Lauren and Eddie's parents without a comment doesn't make sense especially after Peter's comment about an orgy. Then with Jamie and Lauren going to north state so much more is there for more chapters including the Ford family siblings. Everything moved at a great pace until the end when it seemed you were in a rush to tie up all the loose ends as if you had to meet a deadline.

The first two chapters were entertaining but this last one seemed rushed - perhaps you should think about it some more.

hahahaha, can't stop laughing after that 'happily ever after'.

You had the makings of a decent story except for having way too damn many similarities and coincidences throughout. Be it with Lauren and Jamie and their entire lives basically being mirror images, to even having Mark and Kendall "also" be another step sibling couple having sex... interesting twist to the cinderella story ruined by unoriginal concepts in character design by having them that way, basically every family in the story is fucking each other like it's a normal thing (for the record I love incest stories but this is ridiculous lol). I agree about all the comments, how her incest wasn't necessary and you could've added more to the story by having her adapt and work through the issue with him showing true love prevailing over the "wicked" (aka horny) step sisters and their plots. And don't get me started on that horrid excuse for an ending... the best I can say is at least you "did" finish the story, unlike several authors on the site so there's that at least, even if it was shit. Thanks anyway and hopefully you come out with something better in the future, I usually like your writing but this doesn't cut it.

i agree with the people who commented that the ending sucked. eddie seemed like a creep and the twins deserved better.

Kind of rushed crappy ending to what was otherwise and entertaining story.

That was the most horrible, shittiest, and pathetic ending I have ever read in all of this website. You went from 4 stars to 2.

As with many other comments here, I felt very let down by the last few pages - almost like you got tired of the story - I gave 3 stars instead of 5

Don't want to leave you with the negative comments about the abrupt ending. You show great insight into the emotional lives of your characters; the first date with Lauren is especially sensitive. That's why, with no preparation, and no motivation, her sleeping with her brother is such an abrupt letdown. It needs another section in Lauren's voice describing the circumstances of her attraction to her brother.