by bttplglvr
Then call a cab and do what you like with your weekend. What is Kathy OR your wife going to do? This was simply ridiculous.
I think comments should be in 2 veins, one on improving writing skills, and the other about how you liked the story. Personally, I enjoyed the story, I would have also thought it would have been just a bit better to detail how the 2 guys fucked her in front of him, I know thats a story in itself and not the focus here, but would have been hot.
I think those who want to improve their writing skills might enjoy constructive critique on sentence structure, verb usage etc,,, if done right, but it didnt detract from the story from me, I stroked my meat long and hard and came intensely. that alone rates a 5 star rating for this author
The numerous errors made it hard to read the story. You have the basic components of a good story, but work on this.
"After a few minutes of awkwardness Kathy told me that she would like another foot massage." Another? When was the first one?
It's Satan, not Satin.
"Kathy commented that the massage was okay but she really like it the other day when I used my tongue." She really "liked" it the other day.
"I reached down and place my thumb inside the elastic. . ." Verb tenses.