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Claire starts to bite down on the back of her hand to muffle the noises she makes as she cums. As she does, I keep going, trying to make it last as long as possible. It feels like forever, like she hasn't drawn air for minutes, when she exhales.
"Oh my fucking God." She says breathlessly. I didn't want that to end.
"You're very welcome." I say, grinning. "I can do more if you'd like, I could eat you out all night if that's what you want."
"That sounds incredible, but maybe later. Right now I want you to fuck me."
How could I say no?
- COMMENTS
coolpenalmost 4 years agoA good plot, girl tracks down boy she fancied at school and good graphic sex but it all seemed to happen too fast for me.
As with foreplay in sex so the reader needs to have some literary foreplay, tease me, excite me, will she won't she, make me want to turn the page, leave me begging for more, they kiss in the park and her hand brushes against his erection - was it accidental? she nearly made him cum in his pants - she leaves with a knowing look - maybe tomorrow - that kind of thing.
Now your reader is gagging for it.
See what I mean?
Start with what you've already written and expand it, rewrite it so that it make you beg for it :)
Good luck and contact me if you like.
Anonymousabout 6 years agoReally hot story - and if it's based on a true story, I'm looking forward to hearing more.
I think the story ended at a fine place -- a natural stopping point & leaving us wanting more.
Would love to read more character development too.
themightyhoodabout 6 years agoAuthorThanks for the feedback. The plan is for this to be part 1 and hopefully do a few more, leaving it open ended and lead to the next one
Anonymousabout 6 years agoNo ending
He should have just stick it up her and shot his cum deep up inside her unprotected pussy
Don't leave storys half written
