Clans of Luteri Bk. 02 Ch. 03-04

She'd refused to open the bond. This was bad. He'd been relieved when she said it didn't bother her, had felt her not minding it, practically careless with the knowledge, and then something about what he said after had upset her badly. He reviewed it.

"Which thing bothers you, Aslin? That it was Malvalia, or that it was for three years? That she's pretty, or that she's in Tavishi Hold? Was it really that we had sex in this bed—?"

"I don't want to talk to you right now," she interrupted, her voice thick.

He put his hand on her shoulder and drew back, surprised, when she bolted upright, glaring at him, her eyes shining with tears.

"Don't you need to speak with your father?"

He'd never seen her like this. The bond twinged. This wasn't good at all. He touched it again but she didn't open it. She lay down again, her back to him.

"I didn't offer her my oath, Aslin."

"Go away."

Chapter 4

Kane arrived at his father's rooms and knocked. Bache opened the door and stepped back, expecting him.

Kane came in and sat at the familiar table by the window, his father's rooms always seeming so quiet now, strangely empty, although his father had lived here Kane's whole life. They had been this way since his father had lost his mother, like he couldn't quite find anything to fill the space with her gone.

Kane felt a surge of anxiety, thinking about Aslin. And he still had to confess to his father, even if he hadn't actually done anything dishonorable. He would have. His father went and poured two drinks, bringing them back. Bache glanced at him, setting one in front of him.

"You seemed happier earlier, Kane."

"I've told Aslin I was not faithful to her when I didn't know she lived."

Bache sat down across from him and looked at him ruefully.

"I can see why you're sad, Son."

"But that's the thing. When I first told her she was fine with it. Then I made an offhand comment about Malvalia and it suddenly was like she'd caught me rutting another woman today."

Bache laughed and then sobered, looking at his face.

"Did you really think it wouldn't matter to your oath?"

"I felt it through the bond, Father, you know I would be able to tell," Kane said.

"And then you gave her details."

"It was just a remark—."

"What else did you tell her?"

"That's another thing that makes no sense. She wanted to know where I'd had sex with Malvalia."

"Did you actually tell her?" his father said, a smile trembling on his mouth.

"Why is that funny? Yes. She asked. I told her in my rooms and on the bed because she asked that, too, and in the woods, and in Vale's rooms," Kane said.

"I hope you didn't actually call her that in front of Aslin."

"Call her what?"

His father began to laugh, looking at him.

"Nothing. I do suggest you don't give Aslin any more details, that's not the wisest thing you have ever done. Leave her alone and give her some time to get over the hurt of it. Now. Tell me about Alveria."

#

Helene had come to the rooms after Aslin woke, Kane already gone, hurting her feelings more. But she did like Helene, who had showed her how to wrap the dresses, bringing her several in different Tavishi patterns and colors. Aslin was still trying to untangle the blue one, partly convinced it was hopeless.

She and Helene were currently in the courtyard carding fleece, the wool on their laps, which was basically combing until all the wool stood up and went in the same direction. She hadn't seen Kane all day. Helene was laughing as Aslin told her about Alverian dresses. Helene said she'd feel terribly exposed and a little naughty, her bottom half open to the air, and Aslin told her about the undergarments, and the stays, which sent Helene into such laughter when she described it that she was wiping her eyes.

Aslin looked up, her smile fading as Kane walked into the courtyard, going to the pump and washing his hands, glancing at them, looking so tall and handsome, his changing eyes and his big, sensitive hands, his hair and his strong arms and beautiful face. He dried his hands and walked over to them.

"Good afternoon, Helene," Kane said when he got to them.

"Good afternoon, Brother," Helene said cheerfully.

Kane hadn't touched the bond since she'd refused to answer, and he didn't now. She didn't either.

"Good afternoon, Aslin," he said, his eyes searching her face.

Aslin looked away.

"Good afternoon," she said stiffly.

"Would you like to go to the stables and see Ilian?" Kane said to her.

"I have already seen her today, thank you."

"Will you walk with me?" he invited her. "The trees are pretty this time of year."

She felt a pang in the bond, knew he felt it, his words bringing a deep hurt. They had talked about the beauty of the trees around Tavishi Hold, about how they would walk there.

"No, thank you," she said, looking at her hands. "I don't very much feel like going to the woods."

She wanted Kane to go away and then when he was gone she missed him. She looked down again at her hands miserably.

"Will you talk about it with me, Aslin?" Helene said.

Aslin glanced at her.

"He told me about—," Aslin said, giving a small dismissive gesture at the Hall as if the woman was always there.

"Malvalia? Yes, I guessed that," Helene said, smiling a little. "If it helps at all, he's never returned her feelings. I know my brother. She might have wanted otherwise, but he never led her to believe he would give her his oath."

Of course Helene knew. Everyone knew.

"He told me they would—," Aslin said, making another dismissive gesture, this time in the direction Kane had gone, "in the woods. And in his rooms. In his bed, evidently, though only sometimes, and I'm left to guess the rest. And in Vale's rooms."

"Vale, is it? He told you all that?" Helene said, her eyebrows going high. "That wasn't wise."

"I asked him and I wish I hadn't," Aslin said.

"Well. Now I know why he was such a dour presence in the Hall this morning, like he had his own thundercloud that nobody else could see and it was raining on his face."

Aslin smiled at her hands with the image, picking at her skirt, and then she laughed, looking up.

"It must seem to him like I want to punish him for something he did unknowing," she admitted.

#

Kane walked in the woods, not seeing anything around him. The same arguments went around in his head. He'd given her time as his father advised, but Aslin didn't seem any more inclined to forgive him, not from her manner.

He realized he wasn't alone. He turned around and backtracked, thinking it might be Aslin, but instead he found Malvalia. Kane looked around, recognizing their old meeting place.

He and Vale would pleasure each other here and then go their separate ways, friendly in the Hall, not treating each other any differently than others, although everyone knew. She'd come to his rooms, or he'd show up at hers late, knocking, leaving when they were done. Malvalia was pretty, light-hearted, easy to be around. He'd let it go on for too long, maybe.

"I'm happy you're back, Kane," Malvalia said when she saw him. "I saw you slip away. I thought you might mean for me to find you here."

He was surprised. She thought he wanted them to meet here?

"I was just walking, Vale," Kane returned a little stiffly, using his name for her unthinking, suddenly realizing what his father had meant. Yes, he had called her that it front of Aslin, he remembered now, remembered her reaction. His father was right, it had bothered her. "You were looking for me? Why?"

She came closer, standing in front of him, her eyes searching his face.

"I thought you might come to my rooms, Kane," she said. "I thought you'd want to explain."

"I would not come to your rooms, no. Explain what?"

Her eyebrows went high.

"We are together for three years and you come home and have given your oath to another and you don't see that we might have something to talk about?"

Kane stared at her, shaking his head.

"Together? We weren't courting, Vale. I never offered you my oath or led you to believe I was going to.

And I gave Aslin my oath when I was nineteen."

"And I could perhaps have understood if you felt obligated to her—," Malvalia began.

"What is there for you to understand?" Kane interrupted, incredulous. "She's my bond, Vale. No, I don't just feel obligated to her. I love her, I'm..." he searched for other words, not finding any. "I'm bonded to her, have you forgotten what that means to us?"

"Did you even think about me?"

Kane stared at her. The truth was he hadn't. The only time he'd thought about her while he was away was to worry about what he'd have to tell Aslin about breaking his oath unknowing.

"I never intended to hurt you, Vale, if I have. But I was clear from the beginning that I never was going to give you my oath. I never wanted that. You always said you felt the same, that you were meeting with me for the pleasure—."

"I am not the only one to mistake your intentions, Kane, there were others in the Hold believed you'd make the offer."

"If they did it is because they did not hear the conversations between us," he retorted. "If I had wanted to offer you my oath, Vale, it wouldn't have taken me three years to do it. We spoke of it, I remember quite clearly telling you that I didn't want that. You never gave me any indication you anticipated I would, none. If you had, I wouldn't have continued with you."

"Kell of Prash clan offered me his oath while you were away," she flung at him, flushing.

"Kell is a good man," Kane said, the only thing he could think to say.

The situation with Malvalia had turned out to be more complicated than he'd certainly ever thought it was, and Aslin's primary complaint—which he imagined was that he'd never mentioned the woman—suddenly seemed more justified.

Malvalia gave a short laugh without humor.

"You don't care, not even a little. I came to tell you I accepted Kell's offer last night and we are leaving. He was visiting Tavishi to court me. I'm going to live with Prash clan."

Kane did feel guilty for the relief that crept through him, to have her away from Aslin, her presence a reminder. He didn't let her see it, he very much so didn't think that was wise, he was not that stupid about women. She drew herself up, still flushed.

"I wish you happiness, Kane. I'm glad to be going to Prash Hold and Kell loves me."

She said this last a little proudly, as if Kane had somehow implied she wasn't lovable. He was sure she was, just not by him, but he didn't think saying so would help.

"I also wish you happiness, Vale. I will walk with you back to the Hold," he finally said.

He fell in step with her as she turned, both of them silent. And wasn't it just his luck to look up and find the Corsaire standing there, frozen, about to enter the woods to find him, at the exact perfect moment to discover him, with Malvalia, walking out of it.

#

Aslin began walking in another direction altogether, quickly, toward the tree line.

"Aslin!" she heard behind her.

She hadn't even looked at Malvalia. All she could see was Kane's face, the guilt in it when he'd looked up. He had arranged to meet Malvalia in secret where they used to come to have sex.

As he'd said, he hadn't anticipated bringing his oath back here when he left. It must have been difficult for him to realize he had to end things with the woman he'd actually chosen freely from his own clan. Just because he hadn't offered Malvalia his oath yet didn't mean he might not have considered asking her someday.

Aslin heard him behind her and had the thought that he probably felt most guilty that she knew he still had feelings for the woman. That was why he hadn't mentioned her to Aslin. She would have felt his feelings through the bond if he had.

Her eyes blurred and she increased her speed, running now. But Kane was faster. Always faster, always stronger, always more sure of himself. More worldly, having to teach her things, teach her own language to her.

"Aslin, stop!"

He grabbed her arm and swung her around as her hand came up in the same motion and she struck him as hard as she could, her open palm making a sharp crack that was loud, his face turning with it.

"Don't touch me," she spat, her hand stinging.

He released her, his face expressionless. She turned around and walked the other way, not caring.

"You cannot possibly think that I had sex with her," he said behind her.

She whirled around, could not fail to answer that.

"Of course not," she sneered. "As if I don't know you would deny yourself for your honor. I didn't ask you to choose me over her for your clan's sake. I didn't ask for your oath, and if you regret it now that you have seen her again you don't have to sneak to the woods to tell her so, you can take her back to your room and fuck her on your bed or anywhere else in the room if you'd like! I give you my permission, if that is what you require."

He didn't follow her this time. She walked until she had cried for a time and then she was picking her way through the deeper foliage, the path long gone.

Aslin finally came to a stop in a small clearing, the light filtering through the trees. She stood there, wondering what she was doing. She looked back, but she couldn't see the castle anymore. She was too low, the great trees all around her. Everything looked the same in every direction.

The forest was so big here, leaves as big as plates, trees so tall it was as if she'd shrunk in size. There was an old downed tree log in front of her that rose in a hollow arc taller than she was, huge white mushrooms covering its underside, its center empty and open, the side curving down, just the outside bark of it like a great peel left on the forest floor. She turned around uncertainly. She was alone in the woods in Luteri with no idea how to get back to Tavishi Hold.

If Kane had to rescue her because she'd lost herself in the woods she would be mortified.

She walked to the hollow log and straight into it, sitting, smelling the moist warm spice of the bark, her eyes filling. She put her arms around her knees, her head down in her arms. She stayed there.

When she finally looked up, the light had gotten dimmer. Her eyes shifted to see Kane's legs just past the lip of the hollow log, one crooked. His arm was propped on his knee, his hand hanging. Protecting her, of course. Aslin moved a little, sore from sitting in one place for so long.

"Will you open the bond to me, Aslin?" he said.

She instantly rejected the idea, the bond offering a sharp twinge. But Kane did love her, regardless of what he still felt for this Tavishi woman. She touched the bond. He immediately opened it to her.

#

The bond was still open. Aslin was on his lap, side on to him, her head under his chin. His arm was around her back, his other hand on her hip. Her hand was on his chest.

"Why wouldn't you talk to me, Aslin? I've been here with you all afternoon," he said.

She felt his hurt. She sighed.

"I didn't know you were there," she admitted.

Surprise from him, then a little wonder—at the degree of her lack of awareness of her surroundings, she knew—and then rueful humor when he felt her reacting indignantly to that. She sniffed again.

"Why didn't you talk to me?" she asked.

"I was afraid you would renounce my oath and return the bracelet and I'd regret it all my life and have to leave Luteri."

She leaned back to look at him.

"Why would you ever leave Luteri?"

"I couldn't be here with you close at Corsaire Hold, Aslin. I couldn't have endured it."

"I thought about going back to Alveria and then I realized I didn't have any money," she said, sniffing again.

He reached out and brushed the wetness from her cheeks. She knew she looked awful, had looked awful all day, all blotchy and her eyes swollen. He felt her moment of shyness through the bond and smiled.

"You are so beautiful you take my breath."

"I'm sorry I struck you," she said, her eyes blurring. "All I could see was you touching that woman."

"I should have told you about Malvalia, Aslin. I should have realized it would bother you."

She sniffed.

"It's not your fault, you didn't know me yet."

Kane reached for the bracelet on her wrist, circling it with his hand.

"Aslin, you're my bond. It's not an act of will, like an oath, not anything like a bracelet that I can offer or you can return. What happened that night in Alveria—." He stopped. "What I become in that form doesn't understand duty or obligation or honor. It only knows things that it feels. Rage. Hunger. Desire. Battle. The bonding ceremony wouldn't have been possible if I didn't love you with everything in me."

She was staring at his face. He'd never talked about this with her. She had assumed he couldn't, that it was forbidden, or maybe that he just didn't want to.

"What is it?" she asked.

"A gift to Luterian men from Shai," he answered. "When you were my oath and you were hurt, he came for you. Through the ceremony, the bond was created. He also loves you."

She thought about that.

"Are all Luterian men able to—?"

He shook his head.

"Only the High Lords and their heirs, born or chosen by Shai. Not every son of a high lord will be an heir, Aslin, although many are. I was bond-born, so my father knew I would have it. Shai's gift is why we lead the clans. All the high lords and their male heirs are able to change."

"My father?"

"And mine. Ruthe can, as well, because Shai chose him to be Kavini's heir when she gave him the gift."

She had a terrible thought.

"Would you and Ruthe ever—?" she began.

He shook his head again.

"No. Our beasts don't understand clan or feud."

"Does everyone in Luteri know?"

"Yes. And they know you've met my other form, from the mark."

"Nobody ever looks at it."

"They know it's there, Aslin."

"Do they know what we—?"

"Yes," he answered.

She looked down, swallowing. He shook his head.

"What you're feeling, it's not what they're thinking," Kane said. "It's sacred, Aslin. We don't joke about it."

She hesitated.

"Do you remember, Kane?" she asked him.

He knew what she was asking. He looked at her bracelet, his fingers still on it.

"Somewhat," he answered, glancing at her quickly, his eyes gold in the fading light, his hair falling across his cheek. "But it's more sensations, Corsaire, all mixed in with emotions and intentions. I remember hurting those men, killing them, but I wasn't thinking. I was only acting and feeling. And wanting to protect you, and cherishing you after."

He met her eyes.

"I remember what we did with you," he said. "I can give you some of it through the bond, if you want."

She looked at him for a long moment and then she nodded.

The bond crackled between them, flaring as he sent it to her. Desire hit her. Desire and lust, recognition, excitement and then pleasure, endless erotic pleasure. Aslin cried out as it filled the bond, arching. She was on her back, Kane over her, shoving her tunic up and ripping the string of her pants, impatiently pushing them off of her. He opened his own pants and kneed her legs apart and his hardness was in her, thrusting roughly, painful at first, his hands pinning hers.

She climaxed immediately, the pleasure feeding what was happening between them, her own memories adding to it. He made a deep, savage noise when he felt her memory of surrender. For a moment his eyes changed above her, the color swirling. She came again, recognizing him, her cries sharp in the clearing, spreading her legs wide.

His mouth came down on her mark and his memory of that violent pleasure came through the bond in a wave, so strong, keeping her climax going. He came in her roughly, his hands leaving her wrists to pin her legs open under him, thrusting. She felt the intensity of his release, his warmth deep in her, his sex pulsing over and over.