Class Reunion

He tried to breathe calmly and go through his speech as he walked up to his trailer. He had the feeling he was walking willingly to his undoing.

Roxie was surprised to see him.

"Brandon?" she said, turning towards the door, surprised. "I thought the shoot is still on."

"This is more important," he said.

Roxanne looked at him closely and sat down at the end of the table in the middle of the trailer.

"Look, Brandon," she started.

"I know you're here to leave me," he said. "I just wanna say a few words before that. Would you hear me out? Please, Roxie?"

She stared. She opened her mouth and shut it again. He looked at her, his eyebrows raised, and eventually she just nodded. He nodded as well and opened one of the cupboards. He took out the cardboard box he had prepared and lifted it to the table, opposite end to where she was sitting, and slid down to sit on the bench. He was fairly certain of this but still so nervous his hands were shaking.

He drew a deep breath to calm himself.

"I love you Roxie. Always have. And I know you, as well as you do yourself or maybe better. I know it freaked you out when you tried to prove to yourself you're not as hung up on me as I'm on you. I know it scares you to be dependent on anything or anyone."

He lifted the first item from the box. It was a small vase filled with forget-me-nots. The small light blue flowers were nodding sadly, wilting already. Tiffany had bent over backwards to find them in the first place and it was impossible to get the timing so that they'd be in their prime, but he knew they'd do to make his point.

"Remember your grandma's funeral?" he asked and looked at her. She looked at the flowers and nodded slowly.

"It was a rainy day and quite cold. Afterwards we sat on that rock amongst the forget-me-nots and you cried for hours and I held you. You claimed it was just the rain and I didn't argue because I knew how hard it is for you to cry in front of anyone, even me."

She looked at him. "You knew?"

"Sure I knew. Your tears were hot and the rain was so cold. Remember we both got sick afterwards for spending so much time out getting soaked? So stupid, in hindsight, but that was the only thing we could do right then. How old were we? Sixteen?"

She nodded and looked at the flowers again. Touched one carefully with the tip of her index finger.

"That's what I want to be for you, Roxie. I want to be there for you just the way you need me to be. Just like you're there for me. You know you are."

He took a break and looked down at his cardboard box. He picked up the next item and placed it on the table. It was a small jewelry box. Roxie didn't hesitate, she reached for it and opened it, and he thought she probably knew what he was aiming for. After all she knew him as well as he did himself. Or maybe better.

"It's my mom's wedding ring," he said, even when he knew she knew what it was. "Shirley was kind enough to give it back after the divorce was finalized. I want you to marry me, Roxie. I want us to be together forever and ever and I don't want to share you with anyone ever again. I want to be your everything just like you are mine. I don't ever want to let you go.

"I know you didn't want us to be that way, but think about it. It's gonna be a few years, less than ten, and the kids will be grown and have their own lives. They won't keep us in different coasts anymore, who knows where they'll end up themselves. Then we'll have hopefully ten or so years just for ourselves before they hopefully start keeping us busy with grandkids.

"In the meanwhile, if you want to spend more time with me, I can make it happen. I can spend a few years without making another movie, God knows I've got enough money to sustain myself. I don't care if I ever make another one after this. None of that is as important to me as us."

They looked at each other. It was a loaded look but didn't feel bad, even with all the conflicting feelings ricocheting between them.

"It's been so good for me to be with you these past years," he said quietly. "You've healed me. You gave me the gift of my aggression and made me whole. Now let me do this to you and give you your vulnerability. Let me make you whole, Roxanne."

She looked at him and tears rose into her eyes.

"What more do you have in that box?" she asked, her voice uneven.

He lifted the gun and put it on the table.

"Just this. If you still want to leave I just ask you to kill me while you're at it. I can't live without you. I don't even want to try."

"Even for your kids?" she asked, staring at the gun.

"No," he said. "It probably sucks but you mean more to me than my kids. They've got their own lives, I'm just a supporting role in their stories. And you're my whole world."

She looked at him. At the gun. Back at him.

"Is that real?" she asked.

He knocked it to the edge of the table, producing a plasticky sound.

"Nah, it's a prop. Like I would let you rot in jail for me. But I'm serious. If you leave me, I'm gonna drink myself to death or who knows, maybe actually actively kill myself. Maybe I'll try to hang on until the kids are adults but I don't know how long I can put it off.

"I'm not saying this to pressure you, you know that. I'm just saying it's no use to pretend it isn't so. And I do think it's the same in reverse. I don't believe even you are stubborn enough to be able to live without someone like me in your life. And there is no one else that knows you like I do and loves you like I do. You know that."

He put the cardboard box on the floor. This was the end of what he had to say. Now it was up to her.

—#—#—#—#—#—

Half an hour later Tiffany sat on a folding chair beside Roxanne and watched when Brandon tried to psych the grumpy crew to outdo themselves to make up the lost time and get it right in the next take. He was always bossy and persuasive when he worked, but now the force of his will was such that the crew just didn't stand a chance.

"Ahem, Roxanne," Tiffany said timidly, letting her gaze sweep over Roxanne's left hand where the old, ornate ring that had once belonged to Brandon's great-great-grandma was now on her ring finger. "Brandon seemed to think you were coming up here to break up with him."

"I was," Roxie said.

"And?" Tiffany said. She usually let the personal lives of her employers affect her as little as possible, but now she was so curious she just couldn't resist asking.

"And now we're getting married," Roxie said and smiled radiantly if a little self mockingly. "So that went just as I planned, didn't it?"

Tiffany let out a giggle.

"Yeah, I know," Roxie said. "You'd think I was the one with the pants in our relationship. But it turns out he's the one with the balls."