All Comments on 'Cleaning Up Her Heart'

I loved it! I see this is your first story. I hope you write more!

While the story can stand on its own, it cries for a second chapter.

You have written a very good story with real people with real problems and feelings. It is refreshing to read a story about someone who is not the size 6 or stick model. In real life most people are far from perfect but still love and desire their mates. Please keep writting these good stories.

This is the first story that I have read here in which I fully understood & related with your characters.

You are a fine writer with the ability to give your story depth, meaning & sincerity. The almost sex was a great tease & kept it real.

Thank you

I love the emotion and realism you put in your story! You make your charactors come to life and pull the reader into the story, get them involved, connected, and feeling. Its a joy to read your stories. I agree with with one of your other readers, this story definitely cries out for another part, with the daughter, perhaps about how different the trials of being BBW can be with loving support of your family, not constant critism of friends & family. Just a thought. Thanks for the great read!

This so real. You can really feel the emotions of normal people, not fantasy people, in this story. please write more.

I have given a number of great stories on this site the rating 5, but this story is the first I have read that makes me wish there were a 10 on the scale too!

The humor is very good as is the writing. Nikki is actually a little vixen, is she not? It sounds like it should be a happy house from then on. Nikki is young enough to be a good mother to Mandy and her Dad will always help her. A Happy HOME.

... because I couldn't rate it a 6! Great story!

please this isn't the end!!! this is the makings of a really written story, you've got me hooked now please continue, you've got your characters set go for it

JT, I've skipped over this story in a search a couple of time. I need to apologize to you for not thinking it worth reading. I do agree, with comments that a continuation is in order, either on this site or as an eBook.

but I have to say it is a touching story about some broken people. Perhaps they will come together and heal each other. A follow on chapter would have been welcome.

One aspect of the story does bother me though. His daughter is only 14. She was caught in bed with her boyfriend. They might not have been "doing that", yet, but she is way too young for seriously physical relationship. We are not told how old the boy is, but he must be old enough to drive. And it might not send the best signal to invite him over for dinner before having a serious ground rule discussion, especially on the first time in years that she has lived with her dad. Add on the free space and time for a goodbye kiss at the door and it going to be very difficult to get them to slow down. You have just given the green light.

Very nice story on many levels. The pace is smooth . An the characters are well writen.

When my daughters were young teens, I was quite concerned that they would look to horny classmates for love, self-worth, and self-esteem.

I decided that I would do everything that I could to minimize this possibility. That included regularly telling them I was proud of them, catching them doing something ‘right’ and positively stroking them, and telling them that I found them to be very attractive, in the broadest sense of the word…noting their pretty face and cute teen-age body AND admiring their beautiful smile, their intelligence, dedication to hard work, ability to be a great friend, great sense of humor, etc., etc.

I see that Gabriel has already started doing this with Nicki and I am confident that he’ll continue that practice, in his own way, with Mandy now that she is living with him full time.

Thanks for a sweet story filled with real, naturally-flawed people.