by A_needy_pet
the story did very little for me. It needs something more, like description of the bitch, oops I mean the mistress, or maybe some more torture, blood,suffering....or just maybe for that dude to find his bolls ,and fuck that bitch. We do submit to girls sometime, but to what extent????? But to become a pussy??? Sorry.
I found this story a bit hard to read - English is not my first language, but even I get irritated by wrong words like "nite" instead of "night". Writing slang can be an artform, but since you did use more sophisticated words in between, I guess you simply didn't use grammar correction. If you love your writing, your stories, think about giving them the best "clothing" you can get for them, like correct spelling and grammar. There were loads of "..." which could be interpreted as a mental pause, but in your case you just used them instead of other punctuation marks.
I do like the topic of withholding orgasms a lot, even though I'm more a maledom sort of gal ;)
For a first story I thought it was pretty good,keep writing, I like your style.
Nicely written. I really felt your desperation. Looking forward to reading what she puts you through!