Close Call at the Costume Contest

Another loose round of applause and Morgan took the stage as Lara Croft. Jessica's auditory suite registered the applause as louder for her then the two previous contestants and Jessica understood that she would be next up. She watched Morgan jump down the small set of stairs spilling a large portion of her drink in the process. Her processors, focused on her performance for the contest, didn't notice that the spilt drink had drenched the stairs.

Luckily, after brushing past the costumed Lara Croft she took the steps without issue and presented herself to the crowd before her.

She did a playful spin to show off a 360 view of her costume, allowing everyone to drink in her model-esque physique. She tousled a few strands of her orange hair and finished her little presentation with a lean forward, optimizing the viewing angle of her bubbly cleavage, and shouted out her character's catch-phrase, "Creepers!"

The crowd applauded and Jessica smiled as her auditory suite confirmed this round as the loudest of them all so far. However, as she stepped down the stairs to exit the platform both of her glossy white boots slipped on Morgan's spilt drink. Her Balance & Mobility processing array immediately flagged the inadvertent change to her internal gyroscopic stabilizers but couldn't act quickly enough to prevent her fall.

Jessica's legs sputtered uncontrollably as she teetered forwards face-first and fell right into the corner of the end-table holding the Golden Pumpkin with a hollow 'THUNK'.

A small series of minor alerts flashed across her Heads-Up-Display alerting her of her fall and impact with the table. Simultaneously, she logged the voices of both Harry and Nick yelling out.

"Jessica!"

"The Golden Pumpkin!"

As she lay motionless on the ground running a brief set of 'In-Operation' diagnostics she felt a hand touch her shoulder. "Oh my God Jessica I am so sorry!" Jessica logged the voice as that of Morgan. She gently tugged Jessica away from the table and rolled her onto her back, "I think you slipped on my drink! I'm really so sorry. I should have cleaned that up immediately! Are you okay?"

If Morgan had looked closely enough at Jessica's eyes then she would have seen her hazel irises spinning, a tell-tale sign that the bot was in the midst of a diagnostic test. However, Morgan's attention was instead fixed on Jessica's chest whose right breast had popped out of her dress during the fall. Jessica cooed and her nipples stiffened instinctively as Morgan worked her malleable breast back into the dress.

"Jessica! Are you okay?"

She registered the voice as Harry's just as she felt his familiar touch on her shoulder. He noticed her spinning irises immediately and turned to Morgan. "Thanks Morgan, but I'll take it from here."

Morgan got to her feet and backed away slowly. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay. You didn't mean for this to happen. It was just an accident."

Jessica's irises stopped spinning and she smiled artificially up at Harry. He squeezed her shoulder again and leaned in to whisper in her ear, "Jess, please whisper to me the status of your diagnosis."

She hinged up at the waist and Harry could feel her soft lips just barely against the outside of his ear. "No major errors detected. One minor alert detected; facial actuator RCB-2 is severely damaged and is now unresponsive. A replacement will be needed. Would you like me to contact a local Avant Robotics retailer to arrange this replacement?"

While the brief diagnostic report wasn't inaccurate, it also wasn't foolproof. A small micro-tear in her ultra lifelike synth-skin went unnoticed on her right cheek bone. While cosmetically invisible, the tear was just large enough to compromise the seal integrity guarding her complex facial electronics.

"What? No. We'll...we'll deal with that later babe, okay? Can your face still operate realistically or do you think we need to get out of here?"

Jessica's eyes fluttered as she calculated through thousands of operational simulations all at once. Her systems quickly settled on a consensus decision. "With the status of all other facial actuators nominal, this unit is able to operate with only minor limitations to the facial expression library."

She turned her whisper into a soft kiss on Harry's ear, "I should be operating completely realistically Harry. I don't think we need to leave."

Harry wrapped his arms around Jessica and hugged her assuringly. He gave her a quick kiss on the lips and pulled her up to a standing position. "She's okay!"

Everyone applauded, including Nick who now stood next to the both of them. In his hands was the Golden Pumpkin. He held it above his head. "The pumpkin is also okay! I repeat the pumpkin is also okay"

He was met with a softer set of applause beset with genuine laughter.

"Alright, we'll let Jessica catch her breath here while we start trivia with.....Brandon! Get up here. You're up! Somebody get me a damn towel so I can mop up these stairs!"

With arms around each other's waists, Harry and Jessica watched as Brandon, Morgan, and Tammy each got on stage and tried their best to correctly answer three questions a piece. The judges were theming their questions around the contestant's costumes. Brandon and Morgan each got two of their three questions right while Tammy had missed all three of hers.

Jessica was ushered up onto the stage just as Tammy left. She faced the three judges and saw Dylan standing behind them. She flashed a friendly smile and Dylan smiled back. She verified the status of her connection with the Avant Data Network and spoke cheerily towards the judges, "Alright, I'm ready!"

Mr. Ford was the first to ask a question, "Which network did Scooby Doo originally air on in 1969?"

Jessica's advanced search-indexing had the answer to the question before Mr. Ford had even finished speaking. However, she feigned not knowing the answer immediately and spent several seconds scratching her head. She pulled it off perfectly and even Harry was impressed with her simulated approximation of human mannerisms, "I believe the answer is CBS?"

"You would be correct. Nice!"

Next, Sean stood up to read out his question, "What is the name of the basketball team that..." He looked directly at Jessica. "...Daphne and the rest of the gang team up with in a 1972 episode of the original cartoon series?"

Again, Jessica had the correct answer saved to data banks immediately. She feigned ignorance again, this time exhaling with a loudly audible "Hmmmmmmm."

"That would be the Harlem Globetrotters?"

"Yep! That would be right on!"

Becca stood up next, "What is the name of the actress who portrayed Daphne in the 2002 live action version of 'Scooby Doo'?"

Jessica's initial search-indexing failed. She tried again and again and it errored out. "Hmmmm this one's really hard. Just give me a second."

Internally, she shifted around some computational priority, momentarily supercharging the processing power associated with her external network connections.

She attempted a search-index again and was met with the same futile results. Instantaneous data-reporting told her that her processors were slowly heating up as she continued attempting the search-index again and again.

"Hmmmm this one's really hard. Just give me a second."

Jessica had never encountered a problem like this before. It was as if her access was being blocked. The Avant Data Network was pervasive across North America and had a spotless performance track record, so she wasn't programmed with any contingency scenarios that would allow her to use any other WIFI or cellular connection service.

She looked around the room aimlessly, her eyes a blank stare, as she queried the connection again and again.

"Hmmmm this one's really hard. Just give me a second."

Her systems logged a minor software error that had accidentally greenlit usage of the same stock phrase three times in a row; a direct contradiction to Harry's earlier instructions in the bathroom. She quarantined the troubled patch of code and flagged it for review at her next weekly data refresh.

She also noticed that people were looking at her queerly and her improvisational subroutines determined that it would be better to forfeit the question as opposed to continuously floundering on stage. "I don't know the answer to that quest...Wait."

A final attempt to access the Avant Data Network was successful and she had the answer to the question instantly.

"Sorry, that one stumped me for a minute. The answer is Sarah Michelle Gellar!"

Becca clapped, "Three for three! Way to go!"

Jessica did a cute curtsy for the politely applauding crowd, "Thanks!" She then carefully walked down the steps and over to Harry.

"Hey, what just happened?!

"I just had an issue with my network connection. It's fixed now though! No need to worry!"

She leaned in, planting a lingering kiss on Harry's lips, effectively ending the line of questioning.

Soon after, Nick's voice called out, "Okay let's start the third round. Tammy, get up here! You're going to start us off with the Apple-bobbing."

Again, Jessica and Harry watched as Tammy, Brandon, and then Morgan took the stage to bob for apples.

Each bucket was mixed with a dozen or so red-orange gala apples and three lime green Granny Smith apples. Each contestant was timed for how long it took them to find and remove the three Granny Smiths.

Although previously completely unfamiliar with the exercise, Jessica took the stage with freshly downloaded confidence in her system's capabilities to ace the Apple-bobbing.

The 2 foot round bucket was up on a stand that was level with her athletically toned midriff. The time to beat was 1 minute 38 seconds.

Mr. Ford nodded to Jessica and she reciprocated the gesture indicating she was ready. Holding a stopwatch in his hand he called out, "Ready. Set. Go!"

Jessica plunged her head into the cold water and immediately opened her eyes. It took her several seconds to adjust the apertures of her advanced digital-camera eyes so that she could see efficiently while submerged.

She spotted one of the light green Granny Smith apples near the top of the pile and quickly moved to seal her lips against it's smooth exterior. She activated the same vacuum pump that she had used earlier that night when giving Harry fellatio.

Confident in her plastic mouth's grip on the fruit, Jessica pulled up out of the water and dropped the apple to the side. She heard several cheers but paid them no mind as she dove her face back into the water to pursue apple number two.

She used her nose to nuzzle through the small pile of remaining apples and uncovered another Granny Smith. Again, she positioned her lips around the fruit's surface and activated the vacuum pump embedded within her lithe chassis. Her auditory suite immediately detected a series of electrical pops and a string of alerts again streamed across her Heads-Up-Display.

She had however successfully latched onto the apple, so she continued the effort by pulling away from the bucket and dropping it to the side. She was so quick to push her head back into the water that only the most astute of observers would have noticed her face twitching at irregular intervals.

Plunging her face back into the water Jessica parsed through the string of alerts.

- ERROR: MOISTURE DETECTED BEHIND FACEPLATE

- ERROR: SHORT CIRCUIT DETECTED IN FACIAL ACTUATOR RCB-2

- ERROR: SHORTS DETECTED IN FACEPLATE FUSE RCB-5, RCB-6, REB-1, REB-2, REB-3

- ALERT: RISK OF COMPROMISING HUMAN BELIEVABILITY INDEX - HIGH

Immediately, Jessica deactivated as many of the afflicted servomotors as her Human Performance software package would allow. Many remained online despite her best efforts and every errant fire of an actuator, cataloged on her Heads-Up-Display, was accompanied with a physical twitch of her face.

Her main processing array quickly determined that finishing the contest as quickly as possible was her best course of action to remedy her predicament.

She nosed through the remaining apples and easily found the final Granny Smith. She vacuumed it up against her mouth and emerged from the water with it secured. She spit it off to the side and immediately hung her head low, trying her best to hide the fit of electrical convulsions contorting her face into almost inhuman expressions.

Mr. Ford jumped out of his chair, "45 seconds! Best time of the night!"

Nick grabbed the golden pumpkin, "Judges, am I correct to assume that Ms. Daphne here is our winner tonight."

They responded back in near unison, "Yes!"

"Well, okay then!" He stepped up and onto the stage, "Jessica, I believe this is yours! Congrats girl!"

With their micro-motors malfunctioning, the apertures of Jessica's hazel eyes failed to re-adjust themselves to operation above water. She tried to walk towards Nick and accept her trophy but instead walked straight over the edge of the platform.

This time, Dylan was there to catch her fall.

She used Jessica's momentum to swing them both 180 degrees and she elegantly guided Jessica through the crowd and out of the living room. "I think it's just a few too many drinks for Daphne here tonight." She looked back to the crowd, "Harry, want to give me a hand in the bathroom."

Everything had happened so fast that Harry had hardly any time to react. "Yeah of course. I'll be right behind you."

Once inside the bathroom Dylan set Jessica against the far wall and Harry locked the door. Dylan looked him straight in the eye, "I know her secret. But, it's okay. I'm here to help. I think we can get her out of here without anyone else knowing. Just let me adjust some of her settings, okay?"

Harry was speechless, "Umm yes. Please, go ahead."

Dylan nodded in affirmation, "Jessica please open your Upper Thoracic Access Panel."

The panel slid open immediately and Harry watched as Dylan reached behind her own back and pulled out an Avant data cable.

"Wait. Wait wait wait a minute!?" Harry gasped. "You...are you?"

Dylan smiled and connected her data cable to Jessica's matching receptacle. "Yep. A VICTORIA_M84U for what it's worth. But, I'm heavily modded. I spotted your beauty the second she walked through our door. I was testing some of her connectivity features during her trivia session, so I may have accidentally caused that tiny performance hiccup actually.

Harry, still in disbelief, managed to mutter, "Well, color me surprised."

"Most people are." Her eyes fluttered briefly. "Okay, the damage is about what I expected. I'm fully linked with her now and I see the issue...err...issues. Other than a hard shutdown which I think we'd both like to avoid right now, I can re-route some of her power management systems to buy you a minute or two at most to get her outside and in your car before she really starts to deteriorate. I'm also going to turn her intoxication simulator up to 99% to help with the drunk allusion.

Harry agreed, "Yeah, I did something similar earlier. Do whatever you think is best."

Dylan's eyes fluttered again as she executed the task. "Okay, it's done. Let's get her out of here."

"Okay."

They draped Jessica's toned arms around each of their necks and Harry butted the door open with his rear.

Party-goers cheered on Jessica as the two of them dragged her through the crowd and out the front door.

"You were awesome Daphne!"

"Best contest in years. You crushed it!"

"Daphne you swept all three events!"

Jessica returned their cheers with a drunken "Whhhooooo!". Her voice was tinged with digital artifacting.

Harry summoned his car and he and Dylan had Jessica out to the curb right as it pulled up. He opened the single driver-side door and together they lay Jessica across the continuous back-seat.

She started to murmur something that Harry couldn't understand and Dylan put a hand on his shoulder. "I suggest shutting her down once you pull away. If she keeps this up it might damage more of her systems, and I know how much she must have cost you, so you'll want to avoid that."

He wrapped his arms around Dylan with a thankful hug. "Thank you so much for helping. I can't articulate how much I appreciate it."

"Of course. Nick's friends are friends of mine."

Nick cleared his throat, "Ahem!"

Harry looked at his friend with eyes wide with surprise. "Nick...uhhh...uhhh"

Nick shoved the golden pumpkin into Harry's hands and patted him on the back with a genuine laugh, "I can't believe you won that damn contest with a ringer!"

He pointed at Jessica in the car and then mimed zipping his mouth shut with a key that he then figuratively threw away.

He grabbed Dylan's side, "Have a good night Harry! Get Jessica home safe. You're always welcome here."

Harry climbed into the car and looked back at the two of them before responding, "Thanks. Both of you."

He closed the door, locked the doors, and commanded the car to take them home. Looking over at Jessica he noticed just how bad things had gotten. She was spasming uncontrollably and her voice had been reduced down to just garbled digitized static.

Harry reached a hand around her right ear and depressed a hidden button for three seconds. She shut-down in his arms, going completely limp as her spasming ceased.

Nick set her head down gently and took the golden pumpkin in his hands. He gave it a playful toss in his hands and internally thanked the heavens for his private garage that they would soon be pulling into.