Close to the Edge

I was going to get ready for my second date, I was glad she left me alone so quickly. I was so glad she didn't notice my hairless arms.

*

Laying in bed the night before with Marie was kind of strange. I was so glad she wasn't in the mood to fool around, there was no way I would have been able to perform, not after that last kiss from Farrell. I had cum twice with a man, and I was still hard thinking about him. I didn't want to waste it on Marie. I figured this date would be a one-off, just a little adventure. I didn't realize it was going to be a game changer, I didn't realize I would be this close to the edge.

Crossdressing at home was fun, I loved it, I had a slew of mirrors I could watch myself in. I liked walking around our little apartment in one of my wrinkled dresses, in one of my long faded nightgowns. I loved wearing my scuffed heels, my high-heeled slippers, my converse. It felt so good, so natural, why couldn't I do this more often?

After that first date, I started meeting Farrell as much as I could, as much as I could get away with. After two and a half weeks we had four dates, I had to lie to Marie, suddenly she was always home or leaving it. I was always taking her somewhere, waiting in the car, waiting for her to finish whatever she was finishing.

Sometimes it was difficult getting ready, it was even more difficult figuring out the logistics. Sometimes I couldn't get ready at home. I had to become a girl in the front seat of my car, I had to change to become a boy in the back. It wasn't easy, I had to fix my makeup in the little mirror, I had to put on pantyhose cramped in a crazy position. I had to blow dry my hair using the lighter outlet, I had to keep my nail polish in the glove compartment, I had to nod my head to people and police walking by. Part of me didn't care, I was dating a man. I would tell all of the passersby if they asked, I would prove it with pictures, I was having a wonderful time, crouching in my little red car. The only thing was, I needed more clothes, I needed more makeup, I needed more time to talk on the phone. I needed a lot of help.

On date two we went to a play, his Grandfather's third wife was in it. She was so popular we couldn't even talk to her, we waved from the third row. I was wearing a nice flowered black and white dress, white pantyhose, and my three-inch white pumps. I looked so proper, like a real woman on a real second date. I brought him a chocolate baseball from my favorite novelty chocolate shop. I wanted him to have something interesting to snack on during the performance. My neck was sticky after the show, he said I was sweeter than the chocolate. Afterward, we made out in his Jeep. I let him play with my hair, my long perfect blonde hair, then my necklace, then my breasts, in that order. I rubbed his leg, I rubbed his crotch. I needed to keep him distracted, take his mind off of my silicone boobs. I played with his hard cock through the slight fabric of his pants. He told me he was glad we met, he told me he loved how I played with his cock. I was wondering if I was doing it right, I was pushing him with my palm and tickling him with my nails. It looked so sexy, I couldn't stop looking. I wanted to take pictures, they last longer.

"Can I take a picture?"

"Um, sure."

"You know they last longer."

"Do they?"

And I did, the outline of his cock with my fingers on it. Massaging, making him moan. I would be gazing at this image all night.

We kissed some more, we listened to music, I was having a wonderful time. I kept rubbing him, my fingers and one hand never left his rock-hard cock. I was giving my first-ever hand job, well through his pants, but it was good practice. I concentrated, I ran my fingers all over his hardness, all over his thighs. When he came, I came with him, we both closed our eyes and kissed. it was nice. It was so unplanned.

On date three we walked around the San Gabriel Mountains. We talked about our time in college, we talked about our jobs, he showed me all the great views. I sort of looked like a tomboy, but I wore purple lipstick. I wore tiny denim shorts, I wore a butt lifter. Jeffrey sent it to me from his shop. It was a weird-looking contraption, but it made my ass look round and incredibly firmer. I was tucked tight in my panties, showing off a perfect 'pussy' and I showed Farrell my smooth legs that I shaved and lotioned again. They were long and pretty sexy. I wore a cute top showing off some of my tight belly, I wore little frilly socks with my pink converse. He was so busy looking at my breasts, he never even noticed my cute sneakers.

We leaned against a tree, we kissed, we said hello to some joggers. Afterward, I looked both ways, I wanted to make sure I was alone with him, then I opened his zipper and played with his hard manhood. I felt him through his white briefs. I slipped my fingers into the pee hole of his shorts, the first time I felt a real cock. He kissed my neck, ran his face through my hair, I suddenly didn't care if joggers ran past or if kids rode their skateboards. I only paid attention to how his hard manhood felt in my hands. I rolled him around, I pushed it against his body, I scratched him with my long nails, I moved closer and we kissed again. Our tounges were mingling, I loved how it felt inside of me.

"I love how your tongue feels in my mouth."

"Do you?"

"Of course, why would I bring it up."

He laughed and then I gave his penis a quick squeeze then a little pumping movement. I watched his face as I jerked him off, as his hands went on my ass and waist. As he breathed heavily, and closed his eyes, as he said my name so lightly I had to get real close to hear. He started biting my shoulder, and then he came, one special squeeze, and bam, I was getting very good at this. I was liking it very much. He said he never had a woman do something like that next to the mountains, against a tree.

"Really? Maybe you are not meeting the right women." I bit my lip and he kissed me again. He kissed me and thanked me all day. Well, after I cleaned his cum off of his pants and shirt, of course.

That night I had to pick up Marie, she was going out with clients, she was going to 'party.' I was early, I looked through my phone, all my pictures of my other life, in my dwindling outfits, all with a man.

Knock, Knock. It was Marjorie, she told me Marie left at least a half hour ago, she went to a different bar, she was going out to eat, she told me to go home.

*

On date four, I went to Farrell's house just to visit his parents. Parents? I mean his penis, I didn't have much time, I had to go to work. We had a special project happening, I would be there most of the night. Farrell wanted to see me.

I had to become a girl, it's what Farrell expected. Marie was home, she needed money, she needed gas in her car, she needed to get to work before I did anything else. She was high maintenance, but I usually didn't mind. I made her a quick snack, I said she looked great, I told her I was working late. She stared at me with her hands on her hips. I had barely seen her in the last two and a half weeks. I breathed a sigh of relief once she left, I got dressed, I danced around the house.

An hour later I was on his top step, standing in front of his door, I had on a nice black hat. I was in a rush and my hair didn't look too great, hence the hat. I pulled out my compact, I wanted to check my lips, check my eye makeup. I had such dark liner, dark mascara, I was running out of things. I was also running out of clothes. I wore my old black dress, almost black stockings, and matching pumps. When I was getting dressed I wanted to cry, I couldn't get my act together, I was having too much fun, but I felt a little out of control. Women had more things, women had extra makeup, cotton balls, nail polish. They had a dresser, a vanity, a mirror, but all I had was a box, a semi-squashed one. I had hardly anything. I felt I was a mess.

I forgot all about that, I was carrying a shopping bag, I had my other hand on my hip. The door opened, I would try to distract him with sex.

"Hi, I'm here to distract you with sex."

"You are, great 'cause you look spectacular."

"Do I?"

He leaned into me, we kissed, he rubbed my back and then drifted lower, he pulled my 'pussy' into his crotch, he was hard, he was distracted already.

We walked in, he was quite happy to see me. He gave me the quick tour, his hands all over my ass and hips. I was just glad he didn't mind my outfit, my hair, my hat. He gave me a glass of wine and we kissed some more on his couch. I gave him the bag, I told him it was for his grandmother. Fruit and nuts and muffins are perfect for a busy, acting grandmother. He laughed and said thank you.

I told him I was busy at work, I was unfortunately in a rush, he understood. His cock made an appearance, I smiled and rubbed him. I watched the whole thing, I was mesmerized, I took out my phone. He let me take pictures of my red nails playing with him, his hard cock, pressing him, slipping under his shirt, and rubbing his nipples. He let me take some selfies, he let me lick his cheek and hold his cock at the same time. He let me wink and make a kissy face while he squeezed in next to me. He was being too nice to me, he was letting me love him.

"Farrell? I think I would like to do this more often, you know, just playing with a man. Is that alright with you?"

He laughed, he kissed my neck, my hair, my cheeks, as I still watched his cock. He thought I was being cute, and of course, I was, but I was serious too. I was having fun, he was so excited and he wasn't asking me to make him dinner, get gas in his car, or even pay attention, even though I would have done all of those things and more if he did.

I pumped and played with him some more, he was hard the whole time. I could tell he was liking me rubbing him, he was liking my long nails tickling his balls and thighs. Suddenly I saw some pre-cum dribble out, I touched it so daintily with my index finger, I tasted it, I looked at him and smiled, it was spontaneous. My fingers in my mouth, my nails matching my lips, I could tell it was taking him over the edge. His eyes suddenly opened wide, he held my arms, I felt his breath. He came all over my black dress, he totally missed my mouth, I will have to get it dry cleaned, the dress not my mouth.

I had my ring finger on my tongue, "Mmm, I love the taste of you."

"I can't wait 'til I get to try you too." He kissed my breasts, he slid his hands down my dress, and put his hand close to my crotch, my covered 'pussy.' I gave him an uncomfortable smile, but he wasn't looking at me, he was imagining what I tasted like, he was rubbing and squeezing. I was hoping I tasted like oranges and jelly beans.

He held me and we lay back, we held each other, I took the little bits of cum on us and put it to my lips. I didn't want to waste any, and I wanted more, I also didn't want to leave, I wanted to watch his cock get soft, get smaller. I was enjoying dating a man. It was fun, it wasn't that much different than what I was used to, but I was loving it so much more. He seemed to like everything about me, everything I did and it was all about us, not just him, us. I stayed as long as I dared, I wanted him next to me, wanted to kiss him, I wanted to enjoy my life. It was crazy, it was so unexpected, I was hoping it would last forever.

I was glad he sat next to me in Starbucks.

He walked me to my car, once again we made out on the red hood, his neighborhood approving of the sloppy blonde in last year's black dress. I had a wonderful feminine orgasm while he did some more grinding. I imagined, his cock got loose and entered me through my make-believe crotchless pantyhose, my crotchless panties. I would have to buy some soon. I imagined his manhood entered and filled and shot. He just scored. I watched his eyes, during the whole thing, I was enjoying the view, I knew the look he gave when he had an orgasm of his own.

I didn't want to get changed in the back seat and go to work, I wanted to hold on to a man, feel him get hard again, have him tell me he would miss me.

"You're going to miss me?"

"I am. Why are you so surprised?"

*

I decided to go back to the apartment, clicking in my black pumps. I called him when I got inside, I had to hurry I had to get to work, I wanted to thank him for a wonderful afternoon. I was in the bathroom changing when Marie got home unexpectantly. She started knocking. She had friends with her, she wanted me to make things, snacks, she knocked for a long time. She didn't realize her cross-dressing husband was taking off his damp pantyhose and calling a man, thanking him for another unexpected orgasm.

Well he wasn't just a man anymore he told me before I left, he was my boyfriend. My accidental boyfriend.

*

So, that coming week I was feeling slightly uneasy, slightly disjointed, slightly horny, you know how it is. This seemed to be the way I was lately. Something had to give, some things had to change. I went out on my regular cross-dressing Tuesday afternoon, I went shopping I had so few clothes, so few accessories, even fewer cleansers, and hygiene products, I was a very unprepared 'woman.' My box in my closet was getting so much use the past couple of weeks it was starting to rip. I taped it up and put it back in the closet, just adding the few new things I had just bought, I would finally need a new box, and I was thoroughly enjoying my new life. When I wasn't with Farrell, I was thinking about him, I was wishing I was with him all the time.

Marie told me I wasn't paying attention, doing what she was asking, or caring about what she told me. I wondered if maybe I was becoming a terrible partner to her, though she rarely listened to me. I made her dinner most of the week, I called for pizza when I wasn't home. I called her friends to come to visit when I thought about it. Marie was recently eyeing me suspiciously, asking me weird questions, she was making me uncomfortable. We went through a similar instance when we first got married. She would disappear, she was quiet, she was sulky, she was seeing her ex-boyfriend. We worked through it, wasn't that big of a deal. I understood, I was working too hard, too late. I was thinking she could start seeing him again, giving me time to be a new girlfriend. Farrell was so much easier to talk to, it was more fun. I could tell he liked me way more than Marie ever did.

***

On our fifth date, he was taking me to a party. A party in Echo Park, a party right near Dodger Stadium. He told me I could get really dressed up if I wanted to. I wanted to.

"You are going out again? Another Saturday? Where are you going now?" Marie wasn't as mad as she had been. She was just confused, she didn't know I was so popular. "All of a sudden you have friends?"

She was asking a massive amount of questions, I wasn't really too good at giving answers. I was a really bad liar. I wanted to tell her I met a man, he was thirty-one or so, handsome, tall, he worked for the City, he owned his own house. I had made him cum at least four times in the last two and a half weeks. Once almost in my mouth. I would point to my chin and chest. He told me I had the softest hands, sexiest lips, the nicest hair, even the most incredible smile. He asked me where a woman like me had been hiding all this time, all his life.

But instead, I told her I was going bowling.

"Bowling, gee you're a bundle of fun." She was disappointed in my lies too.

I made an appointment at a salon, a transformation salon. It was run by my friend, she was originally a Drag Queen that I followed on social media. I called, I made an appointment, I snuck in as a male. Her name was Jeffrey, usually, she mentored me on the phone but this was the first time I would see her in real life. When I walked in she was everything I knew she would be. She had lots of hair, long nails, and a completely sexy sparkly dress.

She ushered me into a chair, she then fixed my hair, she did my makeup, she did things to my body that I couldn't even imagine. I was in front of her and her assistant in only a C-cup red bra and panties. My makeup, nails, and hair were perfect. She was squinting, one eyebrow raised, and walking around me, I felt like I was in the army.

"Mmm, fifth date. Mmm, when are you telling this guy that you are not a complete woman yet?"

"Yet?"

"Yes, yet, have you never considered that word." She held up dresses and fabrics to my arms, my legs, my face. "I am putting you in more red, we need to distract him."

"Okay, distract away."

And soon I was in a tight corset, padding on my bum and hips, and in a tight beautiful silky red dress. I had on nude pantyhose and five-inch platform sandals, lots of straps, and black to match my little watch band. I was showing a little bit of cleavage, my long hair covering it just a touch. My long earrings jingled, my long red nails scratching my cheeks as I moved the hair out of my eyes. I couldn't look away from the mirror, I wanted to know who the hell was this sexy, spectacular woman, and how did she get my hair color. There was no way that was me.

"You are officially stunning. He will not be able to take his eyes off of you, so don't do anything stupid."

I was now getting nervous, "Like what?"

Jeffery looked at my blue eyes, deep in thought, "Mmm, like burp, like play with your boobies, like stand and pee. Make sure you sit like a lady."

"I don't think I need to take him into the little girl's room with me," I giggled.

"Are you crazy, I had some of the best sex of my life in bathrooms, at exclusive parties. Darlin', don't rule anything out."

"Oh? Okay."

Once again the two of them walked around me squinting, I was squirted with my perfume and given a little black bag with a gold chain matching my earrings.

"Okay, you are done and since you are so fabulous, sometime during the party, while he is admiring and playing with your boobs and hair, tell him."

"Really?"

Jeff snorted, "Yes really, you can't string along a man for that long. The fifth date is when a man thinks 'Why am I not sleeping with this woman yet? What is she hiding.' Well, no more hiding."

She was right, I had to say something, I would do it tonight surrounded by people, people I didn't know, just in case. She told me to call her tonight or she was calling the tabloids.

"Hopefully I will call you early tomorrow morning instead, while I am in his bed, wearing his pajamas."

"Ha," She shook her head, "Put a slip in your bag, something small and sexy then. Just in case. Girls like us don't wear men's PJs" She rummaged and threw me a short black silky slip, I put it in my bag and kissed her goodbye. I was glad she had so much faith in me, but I was thinking I was never going to look this good again. Of course, he would be disappointed in me from here on out. Once again it will be all downhill.

*

So, I was breathing heavily in my car, I was so nervous, we were meeting once again at the mall. I am sure he knows I am hiding something already, something was definitely up. I was up to no good. Tonight I would tell him, tell him I'm not a woman all the time, maybe I was genderfluid, maybe I was that two-gender word. I wouldn't tell him about Marie, that would be too much information to spring on him at a party.

Ring, ring. "Hello."

It was Marie, "Are you bowling yet?"

"No, almost."

She breathed out, sounding a little exasperated. "What time are you coming home?"

"I don't know, late I guess."

"Well stop guessing, call me when you are close. I want to show you something."

And she hung up, I was thinking that was weird what could she have to show me? Why couldn't she send me a picture? Why did she have to call me? I only wanted to think of Farrell and she distracted me.